Cooncatagory #1 The CLARENCE THOMAS LIFETIME COONCHIEVEMENT AWARD
This award goes to the man/woman on Clubhouse who has contributed the most (in deeds and dictate) to tearing down the Black community for the express benefit of upholding white supremacy. This person will 12 out of 10 times side with the whites over the blacks—no matter what the issue is. They are perhaps the most despicable Coons that affect the culture because they honestly and truly hate Black people.
Cooncatagory #2 The UNCLE RUCKUS DON’T TRUST THOSE NEW NIGGERS OVER THERE
This award goes to the man/woman most skilled in scapegoating disaffected minorities for all that ails society. Particularly within the “black community”. This person is usually a cantankerous old person (or young person with an old ass decrepit soul) that has failed at the game of life and only seeks to find excuses for why it’s someone else fault that they’re a loser 😞. You will usually find this type of coon on Clubhouse dressing down Black immigrants using pseudo history that they pulled out of their ass or a bunch of other nonsense that they claimed to learn from their nana.
Cooncatagory #3 The HERMAN CAIN RIDE AND DIE AWARD
The Herman Can Ride AND Die award goes to Coon most likely to lay down his or her life to preserve the white supremacist construct. They would literally sign a waiver and/or NDA to protect their favorite white supremacists as they freely spread invective, misinformation and deadly viruses 🦠. This person loves white supremacy even more than their own family.
Cooncatagory #4 The STEVEN FROM DJANGO DON’T TOUCH MY MASSA, HIM BEEN GOOD TO ME AWARD
This award goes out to the Black man or woman on this app who will protect their massa at all costs. Well almost. Unlike the Herman Cain Ride AND Die award this sort of coon only rides the bus 🚌 until the wheels fall off. At which point they hop off and either falls in line with some other white supremacist benefactor. Or pretend that they were down with the blacks all along (lying with a straight face). They are the embodiment of the house nigger. For them it’s all about self preservation more than anything else. It’s evidenced by my favorite scene in Django when he told them to say bye to Ms Laura. Even though Stephen loved him some Candyman and he just finished watching his massa die, he was much more interested in fleeing than fighting. That’s typically how this type of coon moves on Clubhouse.
Cooncatagory #5 The TERRY CREWS GYM CROW IS NOT RACIST award.
Terry Crew Gym Crow Error Award goes to the type of coon that has more muscle 💪🏿 power than brain 🧠 power—even the ones that don’t have muscles. They typically apologize for the racism in our midst rather than challenging or even acknowledging it. When shown real-time blatant racism in society this type of coon sees no racism, hears no racism and feels no racism. Unless of course it’s a Black person “being racist”. You’d actually hear some of them say things like “Black people are the most racists people in America”. Their Twitter activity is also eerily similar to the following:
Cooncatagory #6 The VAN JONES CRY ME A RIVER award.
This award goes to the type of coon that whines incessantly while cooning hard. He or she lacks core convictions so they have a bi-partisan flow to their coonagraphy. One day you might catch them pushing or protecting a Democratic agenda and the next day you might catch them co-crying over some Republican nonsense. The one thing that’s consistent is the paper trail. This sort of coon is on a paper chase and in such their opines are subject to whichever way the money goes.
Cooncatagory #7 The WILLIAM O’NEIL COONINTELPRO PAID AGENT Award
This award goes to people/Clubs who have joined organizations and movements (on and off this app) that publicly purport to support Black people but secretly seek to divide and destroy real progress within said community. Some of them talk a very good game and are skilled in the art of double speak and bullshit rhetoric. Many are great orators actually. But upon interrogating their thoughts and motives it becomes crystal clear that J Edgar Hoover would have hired them. This type of coon is most certainly on the payroll of some nefarious clandestine white supremacist organization. You don’t even need the receipts to tell.
Cooncatagory #8 The KANYE WEST, SLAVERY WAS A CHOICE AWARD
This award goes to the Black man or woman that routinely blames Black people for the conditions that white supremacy created. They are often heard saying that white supremacy does not exist or that white supremacy is a mind set as opposed to a systematic structural impediment. The level of psycho babble that emanates when they go off mute 🤐 has the listener wondering 💭 what their IEP looked like through school. They consistently wade into topical conversations that they have absolutely no grasp of. On Clubhouse they simply repeat long debunked talking points, anecdotal stories (that others have told) and regular ass white supremacist propaganda. They are followers that look in the mirror and see a leader.
Cooncatagory #9 The BEN CARSON GIFTED HANDS BUT USELESS MIND Award
This award goes to someone who on the surface is seemingly bright. At least they should be according to their stated credentials. Then they unmic and make it painstakingly clear that their brain is like that egg on drugs from that commercial back in the day.
Cooncatagory#10 The Kevin Samuels/Tommy Sotomayor , damn I hate Black women award 🥇
This award goes to the Black man on this app who inexplicably ,incessantly and most consistently tears down Black women. You will see them on this app blaming Black women for everything from eating the apple in the garden of Eden to mass incarceration of Black men in America. The cause of all the world’s problems according to this person are Black women. Many of these dudes hate their mothers and/or don’t know their fathers. In their mind most single mothers became single mothers via immaculate inception. From their room titles to the banter in their spaces it’s nothing but toxic. Only therapy can help this type of coon to become well.
Cooncatagory #11 The Pink Pill I hate all Black men award. Even the good ones (because they don’t exist)
This award basically goes to the female counterpart of the ignorant Black women male haters. You will often hear them propagating terms like hypergamy and divestment to explain away their anti-blackness. At the end of the day they are jaded in ways that are far above my pay grade to diagnose.
Cooncatagory#12 The LARRY ELDER GIVE REPARATIONS TO MY MASSA SINCE I CAN’T BE HIS SLAVE ANYMORE
The LARRY ELDER GIVE REPARATIONS TO MY MASSA SINCE I CAN’T BE HIS SLAVE ANYMORE award goes to the Black man or woman who would literally vote to bring back chattel slavery because they feel like they secured space in the big house. Basically we are talking about people who are sad that they were born too late to be a house nigger. The Larry Elder Give Reparations To My Massa Since I can’t be his slave anymore type coon aspires to be the kind of coon that the Stephen From Django became. Minus the dead master of course.
Cooncatagory #13 THE I’M NOT BLACK I’M OJ OR WHATEVER Award
This award goes to the Black man or Black woman on this app that claims to be everything but Black while often times denying having any roots to Africa. They include nappy head and lace front Indians, aboriginal people, Moors, Israelites and all sorts of other goofy things that most of the people on this app never talked about before coming on here.
Cooncatagory #14 The African that was running for Governor that said Black history month should end but none of the people that bring him up seem to know his name award.
This award goes to the non-African American non ADOS Black person that are either domestic or abroad pushing white supremacist talking points and ideals. Sometimes they agree with American bred coons and sometimes they defer. Either way they share the same contorted worldview that has been highly tainted by white supremacist thoughts.
Cooncatagory #15 The Herschel Walker Run nigger Run Award
The Herschel Walker run nigger run award goes to Negropeon most skilled in the art of assuaging guilt and placating the fragile feelings of bigoted whites. They often tend to embody and accentuate the most negative stereotypes about Black men. Whether it be running faster into a brick wall for entertainment purposes, having multiple babies from multiple women (and not taking care of them, or speaking fluent slave English this person checks all of the stereotypical tropes on the box. To the most racist white minds in America the Herschel Walker run nigger run award is the model Black American. Particularly if they can get this person to parrot their political and philosophical talking points Ad nausea.
Cooncatagory #16 the Tariq Nasheed All Black lives don’t matter award
This award goes to the Black person on this app most skilled in delineating blackness. In fact delineation is their favorite new word. This type of Coon often comes across as halfway intelligent until you give sufficient push back to their talking points. That is when you find out that this person is another black selling out to white supremacy.
Cooncatagory #17 The Chuck and Shaq Shuck & Jivers minstrel duo of the year award.
This award goes to the duo on this app that exists solely to entertain and assuage white people while simultaneously humbling (and humiliating) Black people. You will often hear these two in the most Buffon like fashion finger wave to Black people for the most minor infractions while forgiving the most egregious offenses of Black people by whites. This modern day Amos and Andy minstrel act usually works in tandem. Where you see Coon Frick you normally see Coon frack. So this particular Coonomination MUST be of two Clubhouse Coons that are most often mixed together and co-singners of each others constant Coonery.
Cooncatagory #18 The Stephen A Smith Jerry Jones is a good man award. Don’t nobody better say nothing bad about masa Jerry.
This award is similar to the Chuck and Shaq shuck and jivers of the year award except it’s a singular individual. This person again is bombastic, loud and proud about their overt defense of white supremacy. No excuse to too lame 😒 for this person when it comes to protecting whites racists. At the same time no explanation for why a Black person may come up short in any given scenario. You will usually find this sort of coon saying things like “white supremacy does not exist” or “Black people are as racist as white people”.
Cooncatagory #19 The Candace Owens Super Mammy I want to breast feed white babies 👶 for a living award.
This award basically goes to the female version of Cooncatagory #18. She like he will do and say anything to protect their white supremacist benefactors. Ask her about any infraction against Black people. From Trayvon Martin, to Ahmad Arbery to Sandra Bland and she will consistently land on the point that they are all responsible for the unfortunate events that claimed their lives. Racism or white supremacy will never be a conclusion of theirs.
Cooncatagory #20 The Heisman of Coonery. Also known as the Coon of the year also known as King/Queen Coom also known as the Ace Boon Coon.
The 2022 Heisman award of Coonery goes to the coon on this app that checked the most boxes of Coonery this past year. Meaning they displayed a healthy combination of characteristics from Cooncatagories 1 to 19.
Let me let you all in on a little secret. I’m talking about one of those Love Craft cosmic intergalactic travel type secrets. One of the reasons why 2020 seemed like the longest and most unbearable years since Jesus was merked and the dawn of the AD era began is because 2020 started five years ago in 2016. Real talk– we been on some real live Ground Hog’s Day type shit for four whole years. That’s why 2020 was such a never ending saga. No bullshit, it’s in the good book. Not the Bible, but the one that Atticus and nem was beefing over with that white lady/man.
The only thing that has been more consistent, persistent and perpetually disappointing to the culture than 2016-20 are those pesky mammals from the procyonid family (🦝). You see there are two pandemics wreaking havoc on and within the Black community. The COVID-19 outbreak which of course incubated in 2019 and gave us the Corona Virus and the lesser talked about COONVID-16 outbreak that took form in 2016 and ended up saddling us with the Coonrona Virus. Both have combined to raise the misery index of the Black community to epic levels. And while heard immunity, a vaccine and time will do away with one of these major maladies adversely affecting the culture, the other one shows no sign of going away. After all, their archetype has been around literally since the slave ships. I say all of this to say that being ever more vigilant about the ethos and intentions of our “cousins” in politics, media, arts & entertainment and anyone else with a modicum of influence is germane to our survival as a culture as well as our collective peace of mind. It is for this reason that we highlight annually the top purveyors of coonery for the year. It’s normally a top 10 list, but 2020 has been so coontastic that we have no choice but to expand it to 20. Even with 20 there will invariably be many coons that deserve to be on this list that will not make it. And for that I apologize. With out further ado I present the top 20 coons of 2020.
NUMBER 20. VANN JONES
I struggled with whether or not Vann should make this list. Not because he ain’t been coon tripping–clearly he’s had some major moments of coonery. But because the year 2016-20 has been so Coonified, by adding Jones there will invariably be coons out there well more deserving of the spot that will be either left off the list or relegated to mere honorable mention. He was added First and foremost to dispel the myth that black conservatives have a monopoly on coonery. They don’t. There are indeed liberal leaning black folks with coon like proclivities. In other words Cooning is a bi-partisan sport.
Maybe it’s the coffee at CNN maybe it’s the water in the water cooler. Whatever the cae may be Vann seems to be going through the same intermittent episodic bouts with coonery that Don Lemon struggled with years back before he grew his hair out, switched to a black barber and uncooned himself. The good news is Vann at worst is what we call a redeemable coon (as Don Lemon proved to be). He has not done or said anything that would warrant a permanent ban from the cookout or block party but he did book end his coon spree in a way that would make us remiss not to acknowledge and chide him for. The first was giving a teary eyed co-sign of Fuck Boy 45 after he managed to make it through his first State of the Union Speech by reading verbatim from the teleprompter with minable ad libs (never mind the speech was riddled with falsehoods and shameless campaigning) and the second being the more recent balling tears when the news media finally called the 2020 race in favor of Joe Biden. Again, not the worst coon act in the world, but this nigga needs to get it together.
Another reason why Vann Makes this list this year is the fact that he don’t know what IDFWPWFWPWIDFW means…
…So while even though he’s a redeemable coon, he gotta stay in the coon corner until he learns what the fuck IDFWPWFWPWIDFW means and adheres to the standard.
Number 19. President Obama
I know I know. How dare you call the first Black president a coon. Just so you know, it hurts me to have to add him to this list almost as much as it hurts some of you to read it. I never thought that we would have to add him to a list of such dubious distinction, but here we are. Now two things can be true. Barack Obama could be both the best president in modern history as well as a rather mediocre one–especially given who his predecessor and successor was. It was not exactly a high bar that he had to hurdle. But this is much less about Obama the president and much more about Obama the former president.
After Dumbo the 45th took his oath of office, aside from the occasional where’s Waldo type photos from vacay island on our social media timelines, or public appearances where Michelle would gross us out by eating candy from George Bush’s dirty ass sweaty palms, we did not see or hear much from our beloved first Black Family. It was not until Bernie Sanders looked as though he was headed towards the Democratic nomination did we begin hearing from this guy again. And I’m not necessarily mad at him for that– I get it. Joe is his boy who was his wing man of 8 years. And while it’s clear as day the former “community organizer” chose collegiality over community, if his meddling in the affairs of the people would have stopped there he does not make this list. Even with both he and Michelle Obama authoring books replete with residual smoke for Reverend Wright while all but erasing the disdain that they collectively shared with the people for the Bush crime family and other odious white supremacist elements in American politics that propelled him to the legacy he has today, he would not have made this list. The 19th addition to this years top 20 Coons list was actually an 11th hour addition. So as off putting as it may come across to call the first president a coon, he kind of earned it.
The movement to defund the police seems rather nascent but it’s actually part and parcel to the larger prison abolitionist movement that goes back at least 20 years. The idea gained rapid traction after George Floyd was lynched on camera for all the world to see. That moment along with the state sanctioned and state approved murders of Ahmaud Arbery and Breonna Taylor the movement to defund the police picked up major steam. So much so that the Minneapolis city council voted to defund and disband the Minneapolis Police department– the very same department responsible for choking the life out of Floyd. It was eventually vetoed by the mayor but it forced the mayor to re-allocate 8 million dollars from the police departments 179 million budget while they negotiate further re-appropriations. The funds are to be steered towards programs that tackle mental illness and violence prevention. Now 8 million dollars may not seem like much and it really isn’t. But it’s 8 million more towards programs that enrich the community and 8 million less for one of the forces of destruction in the community. Moreover its 8 million dollars that they would not have had were it not for their threat to defund and disband. Who is President Obama or anyone else to tell that city council or that mayor that their decision was wrong? An even better example is the Camden model. In 2013 while Obama was still in office the Camden New Jersey Police department was disbanded over systemic abuse. They ended up rehiring most of the officers but they had to go through an extensive interview process that included a psychological evaluation–things that their union would have blocked had not the community voted to disband. And while the end results were not perfect, homicides have gone from 67 in 2012 to 25 in 2019. Excessive force complaints went from 65 in 2012 to 3 in 2019. Camden is a very poor city so overall crime rates are still high. Defunding and/or disbanding a police force in a given community will never equal perfection but what I does perfect is a strategy of removing police union bosses from the bargaining table when it comes to negotiating the health, safety and welfare of black and brown communities that they neither live in nor have love or empathy for. Make no mistake about it, the police unions are the immovable objects in the room as it pertains to police reform. On each and every policy prescription that anyone with a semblance of concern comes up with they block it.
Which brings us back to President Obama. For 8 years President Obama tried nicely to get the cops to stop killing black people. It did not work. They kept on killing us. For 8 years Obama tried to make it possible to enact more punitive measures for officers that murdered innocent unarmed Black people. That also did not work–they kept escaping justice and in many instances got their jobs back. That’s what makes Obama’s most recent comments regarding the call to defund the police so curious and frankly coonish. Here’s Obama on the question of defunding the police:
If you believe, as I do, that we should be able to reform the criminal justice system so that it’s not biased and treats everybody fairly, I guess you can use a snappy slogan, like ‘defund the police.’ But, you know, you lost a big audience the minute you say it, which makes it a lot less likely that you’re actually going to get the changes you want done..The key is deciding, do you want to actually get something done, or do you want to feel good among the people you already agree with? And if you want to get something done in a democracy, in a country as big and diverse as ours, then you’ve got to be able to meet people where they are. And play a game of addition and not subtraction.
President Barack Obama
There’s so much wrong with what he said here. First and foremost it’s not about us being treated unfairly. It goes without saying that police treat many of the Black people that they encounter unfairly. But that’s not what’s driving the movement. It’s the fact that they continue to kill us with impunity. With all due respect to the former president there’s a sense of urgency that his flippant response is lacking. And that’s understandable because he will never have to worry about a 3 AM call from authorities letting him know that Sasha or Malia had to be killed because some white boy with a badge mistook their cell phone, purse or Subway sandwich for a gun, feared for his life and shot them down. But for us regular people the situation is much more dire. Another curious thing about his quixotic quip is he juxtaposed defunding the police with his moderate stance of getting things done. Here he’s comparing the growing movement to defund the police (something that is actually working where applied)to what he accomplished vis-à-vis police reform– ABSOLUTLEY NOTHING. And to be clear I don’t condemn Obama for getting next to nothing done in the area of abating police violence against Black people. For the most part I take him at his word when he said that his hands were tied and that’s why the killers of Tamir Rice, Mike Brown, Freddie Gray walked with not even a slap on the wrist. What I will not accept from Obama is him trying to tie the hands of others that refuse to have their hands tied or their power to effect change in the area of ending police brutality thwarted. His wayward words did just that. And don’t just take it from us at the Rant–Our favorite president ruffled quite a few feathers with his nonsense:
Now I’m not going to go as far as to say that Obama has been elevated for the express purpose of silencing black dissent but I will say that he was dispatched to do exactly what he did in that interview and that was to muddy a message that was gaining more and more traction around the country. The man that was dubbed the explainer in chief due to his uncanny ability to break down the complex but critically necessary in the most laymen terms could not find the time, words or energy to explain the myriad ways that a defunding of police departments and reinvesting in the communities could take form. The man that expertly explained why undocumented citizens should be allowed to get drivers licenses, why transgender students deserved to use the bathroom of their choice and why every able body in America needed to sign up for Obamacare or face a fine, found it too hard to break down what the term defund the police means. I’m sorry he has to do better than that. we deserve better than that. I take no pleasure in adding a man of Obama’s ilk to this list. If there were an African-American royal family it would be the Obamas. I want to love the Obamas as much as most people love them, but in all honesty I struggle sometimes to simply like them based on the auspicious start to their post presidency. If I could be a bug in the ear of the Obamas I would urge them to be much more like James and Rosalind and a lot less like William and Hillary. Their legacies would be much better off and so would the Black community.
NUMBER 18. JAMES CLYBURN
Representative James Clyburn is the quintessential Black gate keeper. That is the role that he plays for the democratic party. He’s the house majority whip whose main job is to whip black and brown voters into alignment with the corporate democratic establishment. He’s the wool over the eyes of the poor and middle class Black people in his district. His record of misrepresenting the interests of his most loyal constituents rivals only Mitch McConnell. The highly gerrymandered majority Black district that he represents misrepresents has a median income of $35,000 per year. Pretty much the same median income that existed when he first walked into congress almost 30 years ago. Now of course that’s not all his fault but for whatever reason he does not think that Medicare for all, higher wages, and free tuition was something that they deserve because in 2016 and 2020 he opted to be the pillar behind the firewall that secured the nomination for both Hillary Clinton and Joe Biden, two candidates who stood staunchly against those measures because like Clyburn those industries funded their campaigns. But we have come to expect and frankly accept this sort of non-representation from some of the CBC members who claim to serve in the best interest of Black America. So that’s not what landed him on this list.
After the Democrat’s dismal performance in the 2020 house races where they lost upwards to 10 seats the party needed a scapegoat. Instead of being introspective and looking at their lack of messaging they trotted out their kingmaker butler to serve up their lame excuse for futility on a platter and that’s just what Clyburn did. “Sloganeering” is the term that he used to ascribe the problem that beset their party. He said slogans were the reason why democrats running in red gerrymandered districts lost their re-election bids. In other words it’s because of chants like Black Lives Matter, Medicare for all, the Green New Deal and defund the police that white republicans voted for white republicans.
With American law enforcing from around the country recently storming the capitol to “take their country back” this interview sure did age badly. Unless of course you actually think that all of those yahoos that stormed the Capitol in defense of their republican president would have voted for the middle of the road democrat that lost their seat in congress to a congressional representative with Trumpian proclivities if only they would have never uttered the phrase “defund the police”. Except none of the Democrats that lost their races supported defund the police. They did not support the Green New Deal, Medicare for all and were pretty damn silent on the Black Lives Matter movement all together. Perhaps that’s why they lost. I digress…
Clyburn followed up this Angry Uncle Ruckus interview with an open letter entitled The Fake Fight Between Me and Cori Bush. Cori Bush is the only congressional candidate that ran on defunding the police and being as though she represents a district that includes Ferguson it’s an issue that obviously had resonance with the people of that community. In the short and brief open letter he says:
Like Ms. Bush, I began my political career as a protester. I met my late wife of 58 years during an incarceration that resulted from one of those protests. Although Emily and I almost always agreed on the purposes of our protests and political activism, we didn’t always agree on what approaches were best. We did agree that the slogan “burn, baby, burn” undermined our efforts and eviscerated political support we needed to succeed. That is my fear of the slogan “defund the police.” I get that it is a rallying cry and shouldn’t be taken literally. But it is being weaponized by sinister forces and is undermining the political efforts of some reliable political allies.
I prefer “reimagine policing” as a rallying slogan, but I am doing all I can to help Ms. Bush succeed. We are united in the goal of making desperately needed systemic changes to community policing.
Real cool story old man but that’s a lie. In essence he’s saying that the Black Power movement of the 1960’s was to the civil rights movement what defund the police is to the movements of today which for the most part is the movement to save Black lives and ensure that our lives have value. There’s so much overlap in that movement that it defies logic to erect such a false dichotomy. Defund the police is the next iteration of Black Lives Matter. Black Lives Matter was as toxic a term 6-8 years ago. Today it’s as ubiquitous as a Nike symbol.
The truth is there’s not a nice enough way to word police reform to get a man like James Clyburn on board because he is as beholden to the police unions as any blue blooded Irishman in congress. I know this for a fact. In 2014 then congressman Alan Grayson proffered an amendment (1033). The amendment had nothing to do with defunding the police. It was simply to halt shipments of military equipment and hardware to local police departments. Only 7 CBC members voted in favor of the amendment. James Clyburn was among The Treasonous 32 CBC members that voted against demilitarizing the police. I’m not here to convince you of the efficacy of the term defund the police I’m simply here to let you know that James “the Butler” Clyburn is lying to you about it playing a role in the Democrats dismal election day performance and more importantly he’s lying about why he is so vehemently against the term. He’s against the term because its the single biggest threat to the strangle hold that police unions have at the head of the table when negotiating the health and safety of his constituents. I’m sure he would rather these union bosses be more humane but he loves his leadership position too much to risk it for us. And for that he’s a coon.
Number 18. O’Shea Jackson
The former childhood actor (ya’ll know this dude never sold crack or gang banged) turned movie director, turned Big 3 creator, turned purveyor of viral bullshit, better known as Ice Cube was another 11th hour add. He leap frogged a lot of lames to make this list in 2020. Aside for his 2017 hit dud Arrest The President, Dede’s cousin has been radio silent about national politics and the whole presidential race that had been in full effect at least since 2018. So it came as a great October surprise when two months before the election he unearthed some contract with Black America that no black person that you or I know previously signed or approved of. So with the obviously forged contract in hand Dough Boy secretly met with Jarad Kushner to remix his father in-laws Platinum Plan for the Blacks–because everyone knows the blacks be liking platinum 🙄 . As one would expect, many of the Black people that Calvin was purporting to speak for had some questions. He did Roland Martin and other programs hosted by Black moderators where it became painstakingly obvious that his Contract with Black America was signed with the same pen used to sell the barbershop to Lester Wallace. In the face of being shown not only how fool hearted it would be to trust any promises made by Trump he was shown how much of the policy prescriptions in his “contract with Black America” was present not only in the policy pushes from Black Lives Matter and other activists that were on the ground shedding blood, sweat and tears in the streets for the last 4-8 years, they were also present in some of the 400 plus bills collecting dust on Mitch McConnell’s desk. When told of this, instead of humbly conceding to the points being made he took a defensive stance uttered some ADOScentric jibber jabber and doubled down on the dumb shit. The interview(s) was a disaster and as he continued doing media tours trying to sell us on his sell-out plan he got worse and worse. When asked how he felt about the Trump campaign using his plan and his name in tweets as an endorsement even though he never formally endorsed him, Calvin simply said “both parties do that”. When asked about Trump’s penchant for giving life and energy to white nationalism he said both parties were racist. He was even asked (by a white guy) about police brutality and Trump’s refusal to utter a single word to deter police from killing Black people with impunity and once again Mr. Fuck The Police was on that all in the same gang bullshit before making it known that he was still yet undecided on who he was voting for. The last sit down with The Queens was perhaps his most telling. I will not bore you with a synopsis of it but I did leave the clip for you to catch in its entirety on your own time (feel free to circle back when you’re done reading).
Luckily for Calvin Palmer Jr. (and us) Shade 45 was not re-elected. Had the interference play that he and other members of the hip-hop community were hired to run worked he would undoubtedly have fallen further down this list among the irredeemable coons. But if he keeps tweeting fuckery such as the following illustration, he will undoubtedly reach the point of no return.
Trump ain’t even paying his own legal team for his millions in legal fees. For CubeAnon to repeat such a falsehood for public consumption means one of two things. It means he was fully complicit in the Trump plan to curtail the black vote, or he got conned by the same conman that Elizbeth and nem got conned by…
Number 17. Terrance Williams
SEND THIS TO EVERY REPUBLICAN
If y’all don’t object to the fake election result then we will object to you being re-elected!
FIGHT FOR TRUMP OR WE WILL NEVER FIGHT FOR YOU AGAIN!!
Donald Trump is a certified grifter. That is a well know fact. Over and above the fact that he’s a grifter, his presidency has spawned a whole new level of coonery whereby the most random, mediocre Black faces feast off the crumbs from the table of a master grifter like himself in the most shameless fashion. We saw it first with Diamond & Silk. To these women’s credit they peeped game early and got in on the bonanza. “Comedian” Terrence K Williams is the 2020 version of Diamond & Silk. He, just like that Frick and Frack tandem are unabashedly in it for the money and I can’t fully blame these talentless twits for their low hanging fruit come ups because were it not for the Trump gravy train they’d likely qualify for the welfare programs that they decry. But I will call it what it is—COONING. The fact that a publishing house thought it prudent to market and distribute a book authored by this clown is proof enough. What the fuck is a foster house anyway? Either way, with Dumbo leaving the white house, I hope they still have beds for my dude because the grift is over for his type of coonery. I’m afraid the GOP will have to go back to their traditional stick (or whatever) up the ass Black Republicans that are much more bourgeoisie than bombastic with their political diatribes.
16. Terry Crews
While there are far more influential and frankly anti-black coons out here, Terry makes the grade for two reasons. First and for most for making this trash ass movie:
This movie was easily the worst made in 2020. It’s so bad that you almost want to watch it just so you can safely say that you watched the worst movie of the year. From the opening scene to the closing scene the shit got progressively worse. If Terry Crew’s mentality was summed up in a movie it would be that god awful John Henry. The other reason why he makes this list is due to his selective “wokeness”. It was laudable that he as a man could identify with the #MeToo movement (minus allowing another man to grab his dick) while calling out patriarchy and rape culture. As a Black man that understood the necessity of #MeToo I’m sort of perplexed that he struggles to keep that same level of energy, empathy and understanding for the even more necessary #BlackLivesMatter movement…
Like the coons before him his online activity is proof positive that he belongs on this list.
I’m convinced he wanted to be on this list. Shame on me for falling for it.
15. Herman Cain
Say what you want about the homie Mr. 999 but he was willing to lay down his life for the cause. He figuratively ran through a brick wall full speed to further the aims of people who paid less homage to his memory than folks did Dark Skin Jermaine. It is for that reason we feel compelled to posthumously bestow the 16th spot for the top 20 coons of 2020. How are you gonna give your life for the movement and they move on as if you were mere road kill (🦝)? To his credit his Twitter is still more poppin than the dude that he gave his life for.
14. Isiah Washington
My dude ain’t been the same since he tried to rape that gay dude on the Set of Grey’s Anatomy (or whatever they said he did). In classic coon fashion ole boy is a hop on hop offer. No core convictions, low self awareness and rather delusional in how grandiose he sees himself. From 2017 to 2020 he was a certified Black MAGA. A funny thing happened in-between the clock striking the new year and MAGA terrorists striking the US Capitol…
To his credit he is abandoning a sunken ship. Unfortunately it appears that he’s in too deep to escape the sunken place.
13 & 12. Herschel Walker (and his weirdo ass son)
In their own words…
Like father like son. Not much else to add.
11. Lil Wayne
This little junkie ass son of a grown ass man named Baby has been on the coon train for years now. If this raggedy ass little nigglett would not have received a pardon from Fuck Boy Forty-Five he would have been much closer to the number one spot for his betrayal of the culture. At least we now know why he sold his masters for a measly 100 million dollars. I wonder how much of the money went towards the ransom he had to pay to stay out of the fed pen.
10. Brandon Tatum
Brandon Tatum is actually a Coonvid-16 alumnus. He co-founded the Blexit movement with Candace Owens. The Blexit movement was of course a play on the Brexit term. The idea being that Black people should leave the Democratic Party in 2016 for the GOP as the Brits did the European Union. Even though Donald Trump won the 2016 election, it was not due to Black people in mass exiting the Democratic party for the GOP so therefore Blexit was a fail. But that ain’t why he’s on this list. I actually was not aware of this Coon prior Ahmaud Arbery being executed by some Georgian white supremacists. Before any of the most damning facts came out he rushed to victimize the victim by posting a bunch of speculative things that turned out not to be the case. He criminalized Arbery and tacitly excused his killers. He later went on to do another video about the Elijah McClain where he was even worse. He falsely stated that Elijah McClain initiated the contact with the police and blamed him for his own murder.
Like the Coon Terrance Williams he is all about the grift. After each and every whack ass video he puts out he drops links to merchandise that he sells to his mostly all lives and Blue Lives matter viewership. He’s another one that will be looking for a new hustle once the MAGA era subsides and police accountability becomes a national security imperative.
9. Tim Scott
Tim Cain is your typical garden variety coon. He’s what we call a classic coon (also known as a stick up the ass coon). He’s likely been that one black friend, one black neighbor, one black classmate and co-worker for most his miserable life so being a coon is kind of his natural inclination. As oxymoronic as it sounds unlike many others on this list he’s keeping it real. He really is a racist white man trapped in the body of a lame ass Black man.
8. Ben Carson
This nigga ain’t been the same since they performed that lobotomy on him swapping his once gifted hands for his now grafted mind.
7. Clarence Thomas
If we were compiling the all time greatest coons list no doubt Clarence Thomas would be number one because there has been no Black man (past or present) that has contributed as much towards the maintenance of the white supremacist construct while simultaneously holding back Black progress than Clarence Thomas. Clarence Thomas is to cooning what Michael Jeffery Jordan is to basketball. And unlike in MJ’s case there is no GOAT debate. Clarence Thomas is GOAT of cooning. But yet and still the best that we could do this year is give him the number 7 spot. To be clear it’s not because he lost a step in his step & fetch routine. It’s simply that 2020 was such a vintage year in cooning that he was outcooned.
6. Jason Whitlock
This lame and lazy ass tub of lard built an entire sports journalism career on coonery. For the last several years his job at Fox Sports was to make white guys shaped like him feel more superior than the greatest black athlete. Especially if said great Black Athletes are outspoken. Nothing gets under this dudes skin more than a Black athlete standing firm. To be an unapologetic Black man in the sports world is to be an anathema to everything that this dude represents. If you asked Whitlock 45 is not the bigot, LeBron James is real bigot . In fact according to Fatlock, Black men are actually starting to wake up to the goodness of the Donald.
I Think we have been carrying on a facade for three-and-a-half years as a Black men that somehow we can’t relate to Donald Trump, that we didn’t celebrate him in hip-hop music for decades, that he wasn’t friends with countless Black athletes, entertainers, celebrities…That facde is starting to end…and I think that’s why you’ve seen the rapper Ice Cube, you’ve seen 50 Cent and Kanye start reaching out and acknowledging the truth that they really don’t have a problem with Donald Trump ~ Jason Whitlock
To be clear, there is some truth to what Coon number 6 is saying. However to the extent that Black men in America relate to the 45th president of these United States is the extent at which these misguided brothers are moved by sentiments of patriarchy, self centeredness and narcissism. His racism is just the cost of doing business and so long as said racism does not affect them or their pockets they are good. And that’s why we call them coons. But they remain a small percentage of Black men overall but Jason Whitlock is indeed one of them.
5. Vernon Jones
Vernon Jones is a congressional representative from Georgia. He was a life long Democrat who switched allegiances to Republican party. He penned an open letter to white people explaining why:
I am no longer a Democrat. I cannot stand for the defunding of the police, higher taxes on working families and job-killing socialist policies that will devastate Americans of all walks of life… Is how he starts the mindless missive.
He goes on to mention his strong support for police at least 4 more times with no mention of police accountability or the fight to protect Black people from being abused by police. Even more than a coon, this dude is a coward. Hopefully the Black people in his district will awake to his coonery and boot him out of office in 2022 because such a Black man in office is dangerous for our community.
4. Candace Owens
Candace Owens is another Coonvid-16 alumnus. As a matter of fact she is the Valedictorian of the 2016 Coonrona class. She more than any of these other new school coons perfected the art of the grift. She was a chief organizer and architect of the young Black Dummies for Trump movement…
For all the cooning that she did in 2020 she still ended up getting passed over when it came to the GOP Donald Trump convention and that obviously that made her feel some type of way…
…It seems they might have a new flavor of the month.
3. Kim Klacik
Kim Klacik was to Candace Owens in 2020 what R Kelly was to Aaron Hall in the 1990’s. Kim came in and stole all of ole girls thunder. Her Brazilin weave and Wringling Brothers make-over supplanted Candace’s plain Jane split end look with the Good Ole Boys. Rhetoric wise it was pretty much all the same. She made her national debut by riding off of the public angst that the 45th president directed at the late Representative Elijah Cummings while chair of the House Oversight Committee investigating the Fuckery between he and the Russians. She sent out a tweet lambasting Cummings and Baltimore that was later re-tweeted by the dude that can no longer tweet. It went viral and she instantly gained most favored coon status. So much so that she was able to parlay her disrespectful words about Baltimore and Elijah Cummings to a run for the late representatives vacated seat. Thankfully she lost but not before having a Million Karen March through a three block radius in Baltimore trying to bring more shame to the community and culture while shamelessly cooning for kudos.
2. Kanye West
Kanye was the first major hip-hop artist to co-sign and endorse the overt white supremacist in office. His betrayal of the culture opened up the doors for others to do the same. He is what we call the ultimate culture vulture. This culture gave him more fame and fortune than he could have dreamed of but some how it still was not enough. He used the perch that the culture has given him to re-distribute white supremacist misinformation and propaganda to. For that he should never be forgiven. I don’t care how crazy the dude acts. Fuck him forever!
1. Daniel Cameron
May the spirit of Breonna Taylor forever haunt this sick and sorry son of bitch ass nigga. There is no greater example in 2020 of a Black man betraying the Black community than what this sucker ass dude did to our beloved sister Breonna. If “on sight I’m beating that ass” was a person that person’s name would be Daniel Cameron. Nothing short of a beat down is deserved by this dude and I pray that it one day happens. I also pray that it be recorded for public consumption so that it would deter future coons from committing such dastardly deeds to further ingratiate themselves with their white supremacist handlers.
The role that Cameron played in the miscarriage of justice endured by Breonna Taylor’s family and by extension the Black Community will be with us for posterity. He will be the poster boy for selling out the Black race for years to come. This is an offense against the culture and entire human family that should never be forgotten. He needs to pay for the bitch ass move he pulled. By any means necessary. Periodt!
2019 has been yet another coontastic year with Negros selling their souls for pittance, throwing the culture under the bus and cape crusading for white supremacy. This procyon lotor outbreak has gotten so bad that the lines have thoroughly been blurred between acceptable black behavior and gross violations of the culture. One of the bigger misnomers about Coons today are that they are self loathing individuals that hate the Black skin that they were born in. In actuality the opposite is true. They actually love themselves. They love themselves a bit too much. To the point of narcissism and if there is a tie that binds all persons making this list is the fact that their extreme narcissism and self serving ways precludes them from having the requisite self awareness to avoid promoting and propagating white supremacy. So with out further ado here are the top ten habitual offenders of 2019…
#10 Kimberly Klacic
I know you are like who is this bih? And normally I’d be on some “Harpo, who dis woman” type shit myself but home girl has a story to tell. You see back in the day Kim Klacik used to be down with the blacks. So much so that she went to an HBCU (Bowie State). Everything was fine and dandy with the blacks until she came down with a case of alopecia and loss all of her hair. At that point (according to Kim) the blacks started being mean to her and when you are black and other blacks are mean to you, the only right response is to become a republican. At least that’s the rational that Kim used for voluntarily entering into the Sunken Place. But that’s not what gets her on the list this year. What got her on this list was her skillful use of the twitter app. By posting a few dumb words from her smart phone she was able to attract the attention of the reigning most powerful person in the world (allegedly). This alleged most powerful person in the world parlayed her dumb words into a cyber bullying/misinformation campaign targeting the then chairman of the House Oversight committee the late Representative Elijah Cummings. Months later when Representative Cummings met his untimely demise this happened:
Yeah, ole girl is running for Elijah’s vacated seat. Baltimore ya’ll got one damn job in November of 2020. If you fail the whole damn city is making this list for 2020.
#9 SHAQUILLE O’NEAL
A brief recap: John Schnatter the now ousted CEO and founder of Papa John’s (but still the majority stake holder) wadded into waters too deep for him to navigate, swim or even doggy peddle through while trying to ride the wave of white supremacist angst directed at Colin Kapernick and other NFL players for their on field protests of police brutality. He basically tried to the blame the lagging sales of his nasty ass pizza on NFL players. It did not land well at all. Even the racists gave him a side eye with that one. Jethro and them were like “dude, your pizza sucks ass”. It ended up being a huge PR nightmare for him and the sales for his nasty ass product took an even bigger nose dive. He then did what any wealthy white proprietor of junk goods that heavily depend on the black dollar to turn a profit–he hired a PR firm to right his sinking ship. The PR firm that he hired set up a conference call with him and some of his board members to plot and plan how they can in the future avoid Papa John Schnatter from self destructing again and taking all of their profits with him. That did not go so well. On the call presumably to show his new found empathy for the blacks he recalled how much better things are for them today because they no longer get dragged through the streets on the back of good people’s bumpers until they died (he did not call them good people but that’s what he was thinking). Not to be outdone by himself he went on to say “even Colonel Sanders called blacks niggers” . At this point his board of directors had no choice but to save him (and their stock options) from himself and ousted him as the CEO.
With the companies public relations nightmare taking an Elm Street like turn the board decided that this was a job that only Super Man could fix and since Christoper Reeves is no longer around they hired Shaq-Fu Shaqcoon to clean up the mess.
The self described Big Aristotle has an annual salary of around 60 million dollars with a net worth around 400 million. Having hit the DNA lottery at birth and parlaying it into a top 15 (at least) all time spot in the NBA, one would think that a man of Shaq’s ilk would have little incentive to play clean up boy for the racist white proprietor. Much to the chagrin of black people that don’t appreciate being referred to as niggers by white CEO’s of a Pizza franchises that push pizza on the public that taste much more like the card board box that it’s delivered in than actual pizza, our boy Shaq joined the board of Papa John’s to give its racist founder the cover he sought so that he could keep slinging that dirty dough in the hood. To add insult to injury he signed on to bring that nasty ass shit to HBCU campuses across the nation. In a normal year that alone would make him King Koon for the year. Sigh…this is not a normal year…
#8 The ADOS/FBA movement
ADOS (African decedents of slavery) and FBA (foundational black Americans) are two nascent movements centered around organizing the progeny of America’s former African slaves to procure reparations and to organize politically. On the surface it sounds rather innocuous and even laudable. That is until the leaders start talking. When you cut through the fast talk and circular logic the net result of their political action is white supremacy in black face. Their talking points are replete with natavism, xenophobia and anti-immigration sentiments. At times it’s hard to distinguish MAGA speak from ADOS speak. In fact there’s even some MAGAites pushing ADOS.
When Ann Coultergiest is shouting your organization out on Twitter, it’s safe to say your organization is on that bullshit. Worse than that, an intra-squad beef erupted between team ADOS and team FBA. Long story short, ADOS was co-founded by lawyer and Youtube personality Antonio Moore and former Democratic strategist Yvette Carnell. In comes “filmmaker” and author of self help books (for pimps) Tariq Nasheed.
Tariq had been shouting out ADOS giving them positive press so they in turn started to embrace him so as to get more of his followers into the ADOS fold–because everyone knows a movement is not a movement devoid a bunch of simple niggas skilled in the art of mackin broken women. ADOS leadership has this thing called “staying in code” which is basically code word for not saying or doing something super lame to embarrass their already super lame movement. Staying on code for the most part meant to not make the obvious any more obvious than it was. Tariq being Tariq took things a bit to far with this errant tweet:
Antonio Moore and Yvette Carnell took obvious umbrage because Tariq confirmed the greatest fears of the movements biggest detractors and that is the fact that the ADOS movement is one of the black arms of America’s white supremacist movement with the express purpose of suppressing the black electorate so that the current white supremacist commander and chief could win a second term. They followed his tweet with a tweet trying correct his faux pas, Tariq up’d the ante by doing what he does best and made a diss video while also creating his own million minion movement (FBA). Yvette followed up with a video of her own and from there #ADOSvsFBA became the funniest thing trending on Twitter.
And while it’s all fun and games watching stupid people bicker over stupid shit what these people are doing really is self defeating and in the long run dilutes the power of black people and the power of the black vote. At a time in human history when global white supremacy is on the rise and these KKKrackers are taking their white nationalistic ideals international and strengthening their global ties with like minds across the globe, we are hustling backwards by taking an opposite approach by erecting false dichotomies among the worlds majority people.
I will leave this one last message for my misguided brothers and sisters that think it prudent to follow these ADOS/FBA bammas. Your African blood is thicker than the white man’s American borders. Get your heads right.
I’m gonna leave ya’ll with this too:
#7 Stephen A Smith
Stephen A Smith has been cooning under the radar for a while now. He’s made the top ten at least once or twice in the past decade. What makes him kind of dangerous is the fact that at times he will get it right and use his position in media responsibly and advocate for Black people as opposed to being the masters mouth piece. Then there are other times…
Earlier this year Smith secured the bag. He signed a contract extension for 10 million dollars annually. Now I was not hating but I did wonder aloud how the fuck this loud mouth ass three point perimeter hairline having ass dude was get that kind of dough. I wondered that until of course the NFL tried to play Colin Kapernick for Boo Boo The Fool. It then became quite clear. With the NFL being his networks biggest client at least part of that 10 million dollar salary was earmarked for the tap dance for Massa routine that he pulled in the wake of Colin Kapernick not allowing himself to be played by Roger and nem.
Before Kap’s team sniffed out and made public the shady language in the waiver that he was to sign before being allowed to show case his talents in front of a bunch of NFL scouts that were already well aware of what he could do, it was understandable that some in the media (mainstream and social) would blame Colin for the fiasco that his NFL work morphed into. Stephen A was one of the loudest voices of rebuke of Colin. After more information came out (information that Smith was already privy to) it became obvious that the league was trying to put Kapernick in a trick bag. Smith even tacitly acknowledged this in one of his myriad diatribes on the matter. Yet he still clung to the company line and blamed the victim. His on air counter part who happens to be white (Max Kellerman) was a bit more insightful and intellectually honest about what was going and they went back and forth over the issue for the next week. They brought Terrell Owens on the set because like most black people he voiced displeasure with how Stephen A Hairline was reporting the story. TO always being good for at least one memorable sound bite did not disappoint the diaspora. Son told Smith that Kellerman sounded blacker than him. That shit really hit a nerve. While that was a basic fact that most observers knew already, the reaction from Smith was priceless. Nigga damn near had a baby on set and now forever lives in coon infamy. As he should.
#6 Isaiah Washington
This dude ain’t been right ever since he got fired for beating up that gay dude on Shonada’s set. He has since that time come out of the closet as a card carrying Black MAGA who routinely gets into Twitter spats with sisters much smarter than him. But like most Coons his ignorance is only outmatched by his arrogance so he regularly gets his ass handed to him in the Twittersphere:
There really is nothing to see here. Tim Scott for probably his entire adult life has been a “One Black”. What’s a one Black you ask? Thanks for asking. A One Black is that one black friend, one black neighbor, and/or one black colleague that’s so comfortable in the alabaster spaces they dwell they will do almost anything to maintain the extreme minority position in the given construct. Nothing great or even good is ever expected from a One Black so it would be foolish to expect anything from Tim Scott. Now that Obama is no longer the president, Tim Scott for the most part is the most powerful black man in America and as such we’d be remiss not include him on this list because he continues to play a major role in codifying the white supremacist ideals pushed by the wicked white men that he surrounds himself with. If this was not such a high tide in coonery a black man with his power so willingly able to acquiesce to the white supremacist demands of his constituents would be closer to the number one spot. And if this list was the top ten coons of the decade as opposed to the top ten of 2019 he’d definitely be ranked closer to the number one spot because he’s been carrying the Tiki torch of white supremacy in the US Senate since 2013.
#4 Ben Carson
Uncle Ben is another top ten coon mainstay and like Tim Scott would be much closer to the number one spot if this was the all decade team. Him coming in at number 7 for 2019 should not be seen as him having a less coonish year. It’s simply that 2019 had so many vying to be the head coon in charge that Ben’s maladjusted slow thinking slow speaking ass was too unwitting to compete with this years crowded crop of coons. No worries though–he will be back next year. I’m certain of that much.
# 3 Jason Whitlock
Jason Whitlock has never met a free black man that he did not hate. From Lebron James to Colin Kapernick he has a serious beef with any black man that has an semblance of awareness. He has a job as as a sports journalist despite not being a good writer, not knowing much about sports, and not having an athletic bone in his bloated body. His sole purpose in American media is to make couch potatoes that sport MAGA hats feel like they are greater than the great black athletes denigrated daily by dip shits like himself.
#2 Candace Owens
What is there to say about this chick that you already don’t know. She’s the black female face of the MAGA movement, all 3 percent of them heffers. Like the coon before her on this list her existence in the public space is solely for the purpose of giving racist whites as much cover as they need to continue being the racist degenerate pieces of shit that they have been since 1619. Her relevance while waning was significant to the white supremacist movement. She has propagated enough propaganda over the last few years to infect the minds of some of the more malleable and maladjusted in our community.
Candace Owens while dumber than a door knob is dangerously deceptive. While its easy for those of us with an IQ over 50 to dismiss this foolish woman and her foolish chatter–the young, dumb and aloof among us are far less able to abate the specious messaging.
#1 Kanye Kardashian West
Before I get started on this stupid nigger (he gets the er iteration because that’s what they call his dumb ass when he leaves the klan meet ups) let me quickly respond to those who will be quick to claim that I’m hating.
You god damn right I hate that nigga. I hate that nigga so much that I’m starting to hate you niggas that are not smart enough to know that Kanye hates you. Kanye unfortunately has an undue and out sized influence on the culture (he almost single handily made skinny jeans with big ass stupid look sneakers cool) and he’s using it in the most reckless and selfish manner. In a day and time where white supremacist propaganda is being incessantly spewed daily and from the highest office in the land, instead of using his perch and influence to combat the propaganda, like the self absorbed coward that he’s become he cosigned and doubled down on the dumb shit. His disrespect for our ancestors while giving props to our oppressors is an unforgivable act of betrayal of the people and the culture. What is there not to hate about the fuck shit that this fuck boy has been on?
Kanye more than anyone else on this list exemplifies the kind of narcissistic self-idolatry that the current occupant of the white house routinely displays and is seemingly making acceptable behavior. Moreover he’s bastardizing the culture by lending his name in the name of the culture to white supremacy. That’s not hip-hop. Hip hop in it’s purest and primordial form is and always will be a rebellious form of expression. It is FUBU. For us by us! It is not a tool to be used by the oligarchs to maintain and spread their empire. That does not mean that every artist should be a KRS-One or a Poor Righteous Teachers, but does mean NO artist should ever be an avatar for white patriarchal power. For the last few years that is the dominant role that Kanye has played. A loud and proud mascot for team White Supremacy. You lame asses that continue to support this bitch ass dudes wayward behavior by buying them ugly ass shoes, streaming his whack ass negro spiritual remakes and attending his plantation style Sunday services are utterly worthless because you are encouraging this foolish fuckery and it’s no longer funny or entertaining. The shit is sick. He is not well and neither are you.
2018 was yet another year of classic coonery. In this Trumpian era error that we’re in the midst of there seems to be a new breed of coon brewing in urban America. I can’t quite place a finger on what it is about the Orange Idiot that’s giving rise to this samboian outbreak but it is at least in part to his extreme narcissism and extra rapey ways. What I have noticed is that a lot of the black men that support or defend the reckless behavior of this current president exhibit some of his most untoward and reckless personality traits. At least that’s the theory I’m going with. I digress…With out further ado here’s your Top ten for 2018…
10. The Baby Coon Bootcampers
Random Fun fact: A group of raccoons are called a nursery or gaze.
When I was a young dumb 20-30 something I did my fair share of really dumb things. Thankfully camera phones were not ubiquitous devices back then as they are now. I’m even more thankful that my formative young adult years did not coincide with a rabid coon outbreak such as the one that led to this gaze gathering at the White House. Some of these young and dumb millennial’s will live to regret this photo op while others in this nursery will grow up to be full blown coons. Either way this posterior inspired photo op will be around for posterity so whether or not these young, dumb malleable minded minions will inextricably linked to the Class of coon 2018.
9. Herschel The Coon Walker
When you’re born black and the black folks that birthed you feels fit to name you Herschel, it’s not 100 percent your fault that you grew up to be a coon. Herschel and President Adolt Twittler go back to to his failed days as a professional football franchise owner.
He was literally Benedict Donald’s original favorite field Negro…So it should come as no surprise that decades later he’d make the smooth transition to the prototypical house negro.
8. Jim “Crow” Brown
Speaking of former NFL running backs suffering from CTE there’s this old fool. Many thought that his dalliance with coonery would be brief and by now he’d humbly come back to the tribe to petition for forgiveness ala Chrisette Michele. Nope! He’s a proud coon and is as perennial a member of the top ten coon list as he was the Pro Bowl. Ya’ll boy is gone for good.
7. Jason “the Witless wannabe white wonder”Whitlock
Jason Whitlock is what you would call an OC (original coon). What differentiates Fatlock from the fuck boys (and girls) that precede him on this list is the fact that his Tom Coonery did not start (at least publicly) during Jive 45’s infamous and most unfortunate rise to the presidency. In other words cooning has always been part of his DNA. In his defense he has no discernible talents so cooning is next to 100 percent responsible for his success in life. So while he knows next to nothing about the sports that he’s paid to report on and he’s obviously never played a sport outside of maybe a hot dog eating contest or three, his value to his employer Fox Sports is his ability to assuage and massage the fragile white ego of white supremacist sports fans across the nation. Something that he’s pretty good at. Nobody can make bald, fat, nonathletic couch potatoes feel superior to the Colin Kapernicks and LeBron James of the world like Whitlock is able to do. Believe it or not that takes as much skill as it does audacity.
6. A Nigga named Paris (Dennard)
Say a prayer for our boy Paris. He had a pretty rough year. He spent most of the year taking verbal beat downs on CNN while frivolously failing at defending the foolishness of the Dump administration in viscerally embarrassing fashion. After stacking all them L’s CNN ended up cutting ties with him for being a pervert. No offense to the #MeToo movement but that boy ain’t hardly interested in vagina. It really was a misunderstanding…
5. Bobcat Johnson
Bob Johnson on the low has been cooning forever. The Founder of BET was one of the early culture vultures of hip hop. His cooning reached a crescendo in 2008 while campaigning for Hilliary Clinton in the 2008 Democratic Primary vs then Senator Barack Obama. At a black church of all places he dropped the timeless jewel “As an African American, I’m frankly insulted that the Obama campaign would imply that we are so stupid that we would think Bill and Hillary Clinton, who have been deeply and emotionally involved in black issues when Barack Obama was doing something in the neighborhood that I won’t say what he was doing, but he said it in his book,” ~ Bob Johnson
Who would have thunk that 10 years later he’d be palling around with her arch enemy and the father or modern day white supremacist terror.
4. Coondace Owens
The baby coon summit was the brainchild of Ms Owens. Her corrupting so many minors in a single coon swoop should be enough to land her on this list. She has become one the darlings of conservative media and white people who prefer their blacks to be kind of racist towards other blacks. Like a nigga named Paris she takes a major L every time she ventures away from the Fox News studio to opine on shit she has no clue about–like life itself. If the term Poor little tink tink had an avatar. It would be this whack ass chic and that was made abundantly clear the day she dared to debate Dr. Micheal Eric Dyson on MSNBC.
3. Uncle Ben Carcinogen
Uncle Ben is making black history and he don’t even know it. In every horror movie the black guy dies first. This black guy is two years in and still running. Many careers have come and died entering the Trump White house and this nigga is still breathing. That’s a remarkable feat if you think about it. Unless you watched Bird Box and understand that the retarded mother fuckers like Ben and Candy don’t have to wear blind folds because they have have a built in immunity.
2. Tim Scott
With President Obama now citizen Obama Tim Scott is the most powerful black man in America. By default he makes the list for being in such a powerful position as a United States Senator while being the weak pathetic bent back bitch ass that he’s been since being elected. As senator he’s rubber stamped every racist bill, judge and cabinet member that was put up for a vote. He’s a truly deplorable black man that will go down in history as one the most destructive to black people and progress in America with how he’s comported himself as Senator.
2a. Clarence Thomas
Tim Scott rivals only Clarence Thomas when it comes to the race for the black person that could set black people and black progress back the furthest. Every day this human lawn jockey thinks of how he can throw a monkey wrench in the black come up. I know that we are not supposed to wish death on folks but come on my good Christian friends. He has a lifetime appointment. I need this nigga to die in order to live my beast negro life. #HurryUpAndDieYouVarmint
1. Koonye Kardashian West
Kanye was hip hop. Not the totality of the construct but a firm part of it and he has the receipts to prove it. And while the Donald Trump brand has had it’s fair share of mentions in hip hop (particularly before his foray into politics) he’s the antithesis of hip hop so even though on paper Mr Kardashian is a powerless peon, his Trumpian antics and mushroom dick riding have a deleterious affect on the culture. For that he can never be forgiven. Like Ben and Candy he don’t have to wear a blind fold because he’s already touched. But we not gonna excuse or write it off as mental illness his major transgressions. As black people and progeny of slaves still living in a world rife with white supremacy we all have truama running through our DNA. Some of us choose to embrace the plantation and in most instances the motivations are more selfish in nature than they are subconscious. Plantation Psychosis is what we would label what ails Kanye and there really is no cure. That’s precisely why he’s on the trading block for the next racial draft.
2016 was a vintage year for cooning. It was such a vintage year in grand coonery that if cooning in 2016 was a bottle of champagne it would be a bottle of that 1992 Dom Perignon. The 2016 cooning was so abnormally ubiquitous that the usual top ten year ending coon list had to be expanded exponentially to a top 100.
The good news is the level of coonery has dropped back down to normal levels in 2017 and we are back to the top 10. The bad news is niggas are still cooning hard which makes this list a necessity still. That said and with out further ado I present to you the top ten coons of 2017 and the last 10 people that you’d invite to the cookout or any other gathering of proud Negros in fellowship.
9 & 10 Diamond & Silk
Like their fearful leader and fellow wearer of bad hair pieces Donald John Trump, this unbearable unbeweaveable doltish duo traffic heavily in alternative facts. Their incoherent psycho babble even to the most loyal fucktrumpet white supremacist supporters of the American idiot in the Oval Office are nothing more than useful idiots (situational) to be called upon in those rare gatherings where wearing black face just won’t suffice to get said racist point/taunt/joke off.
Long story short this ratcharded duet sings one of the more innocuous coon tunes. They are the Mitchell & Ness of coonery. A throw back to the chitterling circuit and minstrel act days. They’re much more detrimental to the overall coon cause than they are to the culture because they represent the sum total of what being a coon is and that is to be a mascot for white supremacy. These two Nebraska Coonhuskers with all of the cooning that they’ve done in the Trump era error have earned themselves at best the right to have their faces dawned on a football helmet as the mascot of Billy Bob and thems favorite football team. Their YouTube channel and legion of Alt-right followers on twitter is pretty much their zenith.
8. Pastor Mark Burns
What do you call a black evangelical Christian? Other than a fool, a tool and a coon nothing. Pastor Mark Burns who has become an annual mainstay on these coon lists makes another top ten finish for his rabidly coontastic support for Roy Moore in his failed Senate bid. Amid allegations of being a child predator and upon the revelation that Judge Moore felt that America was last great back when Mark Burns ancestors were slaves. Being the steadfast fellow that he is Pastor Burns did not let a little racism and sexual assault against minors deter him from hopping aboard the Roy Moore Pony express. Mr Burns much like Cubic Zirconia and Polyester are not the kind of coons that are dangerously deceptive whereby they are a threat to attract more black people into joining their chorus of support for overt white supremacy. They are barely able to carry out their primary role which is to assuage white guilt by providing cover for overt racism. Their hyperbolic proclamations and embarrassing antics makes it hard for anyone not already on the Trump or alt-right bandwagon to take them seriously. In many ways they serve as living breathing and incessantly blathering examples of what we within the culture bemoan about token Negroes and how and why they are granted platforms. If you’re mediocre or less as a black person and you talk up white supremacy while talking down equality there’s a pretty good chance that you will land a job that will compensate you for far more than you’re worth.
7. Jason Whitlock
Jason Whitlock is another perennial top ten coontender for sell out of the year. Just like Pastor Burns and the hoodpossum duo of Diamond & Silk he’s a talent-less twit who only has a national platform because he recklessly uses it to denigrate black people and all of the worthy causes that the black community holds dear. What makes his coonery far more egregious than coontestants 8, 9 and 10 is the fact that his platform is not only a national one but it affords him the right to assault the the truth daily. The truth about black lives matter, the truth about why players take a knee for the anthem and just about any truth that speaks to the reality faced by the poor, black, brown and disaffected. His employer Fox Sports I suspect know this is why they hired him. The good news is the fact that they also hired Shannon Sharpe and that’s who we can thank for the skit behind the picture above being shelved before going live. Our “friend” Jason Whitlock thought that it would be a good idea to poke fun at Colin Kapernick and movement that he sacrificed his NFL career to support. While it never saw the light of day the point conveyed in the picture was crystal clear.
6. Sheriff David Clarke
Former Milwaukee sheriff and current Fox News coontributer David Clarke while high on the list for cooning this year had a pretty down year as it pertains to reaping rewards for his constant coonery. After being a faithful surrogate on the chitterling circuit extolling the virtues of the most virtue-less human being on earth he was expected to be taking a cabinet position with the administration somewhere within Homeland Security. That job never materialized. Instead what followed him was a series of lawsuits and investigations. He’s being sued for the inordinate amount of deaths in his jail as Milwaukee sheriff and now being investigated by the FBI for abuse of power. The dip shit sheriff also thought that it would be prudent to have his deputies harass an airline passenger for having the audacity to shake his head at his cooning ways. This led the FBI early in 2017 to get a warrant to search his email. Fortunately its probably why he did not get hired to work for the federal government and unfortunately for him why he did not rise higher on the top coon of the year list from 2016 to 2017. The good ole sheriff may soon see his usefulness expire.
5. Ray Lewis
Ray Rat is another two time top ten finisher. He actually finished number 2 last year out of 100 coontestants so finishing 5th this year among only 10 coontestants is kind of an improvement. Ray only had one certified major coon moment this year. After lambasting Colin Kapernick and his taking a knee during the anthem all last year Ray found himself at the cross roads of the culture that spawned his legend and the cross hairs of white fragility when he was forced to make a decision to take a knee or stand for the anthem. As fate would have it he was scheduled to be an honorary captain of his former Baltimore Ravens team for their overseas game in London the very same week that his president Donald Jerk Trump fired a salvo at the entire NFL by calling the protesting players sons of bitches while imploring their teams owners to fire them. Needless to say players around the league were more emboldened and defiant this particular week and players from both sides were demonstrative in their response to the presidents taunts. This left Ray with one of two choices. Stand for the anthem or take a knee. Never one to be confined by binary decision making the quick thinking former all pro linebacker took two knees leaving him with the predictable excuse that he was praying and not protesting. His lame excuse however did not inoculate him from the hail storm of salty white tears. In fact the very same white folks that offered him effusive and endless praise a year ago at this time for being a black face opposing social justice and equality managed to have a petition waged against him to have his statue removed from the Ravens stadium.
4. Malcom Jenkins
Now standing on the sidelines holding up a right fist 👊🏿 (the universal sign of black power and struggle in America) while the rest of the 50 thousand or so in the stadium are wittingly and unwittingly paying homage to chattel slavery and American aggression with hands on heart singing an ode written by slave owning Francis Scott Key is hardly something to label one with such a dubious distinction. However when that one player who hoisted a black power fist during the anthem co-opts a movement and starts to secretly negotiate on behalf of players taking knees during the anthem with demonstratively more skin in the game questioning the integrity of said dude is apropos. Even more damning is the devil within the details of the deal that this single player struck with NFL ownership to bring an end to NFL player protests of the National Anthem. To make a long story short. An NFL player that has never taken a knee during the anthem negotiated a deal with the NFL’s owners to bring an end to players taking a knee. And that’s not even the kicker. The kicker is that the almost 100 million pledged by ownership over a period of almost 10 years will only be granted if the players come up with half of the money. And oh yeah the money that ownership forks over will be deducted from funds earmarked for other worthy charitable giving like breast cancer and domestic violence.
Word to the wise. Never trust a nigga named Jenkins. He’s gonna do some Real Jenky shit on you 100 percent of the time.
3. Parris Denard Donald Trump has had a pretty tumultuous first year in office replete with all kinds of self inflicted foul ups, bleeps and blunders. He’s been criticized from all corners of the political spectrum for them. Almost all corners that is. Donald Trump is to Parris Dennard what Ms Jenkins was to Bonita Bitrell. He ain’t one to gossip but…
…Don’t nobody better say nothing bad about Ms. Jenkins Donald Trump in front of the boy Parris. He goes hard in the paint for Trump. Harder than anyone else on television. To the point that he’s become an easy and favorite target of CNN anti-Trump pundits. He’s taken some brutal beat downs on CNN panels in the last 12 months but remains steadfast as a stalwart defender of all things Trump.
He clearly wants that number one coon spot and though he may have come up short in 2017. He is in pole position for the number one coon spot in the future.
2. Ben Carson Uncle Ben is another annual attendee at the Coon award show. He’s cracked the top 5 for at least the last 3 years in a row. He gets the number 2 spot for 2017. With the departure of Niggarosa Manigault Dr. Carson remains the lone black face in the whitest presidential cabinet since Reconstruction. As the head of HUD Carson was made to appear on capitol hill to explain away the draconian cuts being made to agency. Carson had little grasp of the cuts or the intended and unintended consequences of them and how it would affect the people that vitally depend on it as a resource. His cringe worthy performance while being queried by Congressman Al Green will live in infamy and again serves as yet another reminder of the kind of ineptitude that even your most accomplished coons are equipped with. White privilege has nothing in coon privilege. Absolutely nothing.
1. Tim Scott
Token Timmy while under the radar in so far as embarrassing coon antics and overt expressions of love for master has been playing a major role in codifying the white supremacist gripe on America. He voted affirmatively to confirm Jeff Sessions as attorney general and Betsy Devose as Secretary of education two people whose policies directly impact in the most negative ways black people. He also voted to confirm the myriad unqualified hacks that will infect and infuse more top down racism in the judicial system for generations to come. He’s easily the most powerful black man in America next to Clarence Thomas and he’s arguably done as much damage to the future of black America in 2017 than Clarence Thomas has done over the last 25 years sitting on the Supreme Court.
Most recently he voted along with his white supremacist caucus in he senate to reform the tax code shifting even more of the burden to keep this nation afloat on the poor and middle class. At the all white white house day party celebration he was positioned up front as Dystopian Donald’s favorite African-American. If a silver-lining exists hopefully it will be that such an optic will finally illustrate to white Americans writ-large that coons are as detrimental to them and their future success as they have been to the black community. Not holding my breath but that is my hope.
As bad as cast of characters were in act one, their black cards don’t necessarily need to be revoked–at least not permanently. Act two though? These 50 coons for the most part are coons that black people need to collectively shun for good barring a 180 degree about face from whatever the infraction(s) was that landed them in such dubious company.
Coontestant# 49 Cam Newton
Based on his offense to blackness in 2016 Cam actually belongs in the first group of redeemable coons. Cam is setting off the coon for life team via extrapolation. In 2015 Cam embraced being a strong and proudblack man, much to the chagrin of the Carolina fan base and of course team ownership. So what did they do? They decided to bring in GOP spin doctor and race bait extraordinaire Frank Luntz to be the quarterbacks coach on navigating conversations on social issues and race, and boy was Cam a quick study.
At the rate of change that Luntz’s tutelage had on Cam, if he remains the QB’s race coach for much longer Cam will indeed become the second coming of Sammy Sosa–and much closer to the number one spot in the next year. Here’s hoping that Cam listens to more sounds of blackness in 2017 and less Frank Luntz.
Coontestants 48-46 Alicia D White, Caesar R Goodson and William Porter
While these three coons did not directly kill Freddie Gray, they grossly abdicated their civic responsibilities, their blackness and their sheer humanity to protect the blue shield. They were charged along with the three white officers who were actually the ones that mortally wounded Gray in an attempt to get to the truth. In the end the the well intended tactic failed. Largely because of these three coward ass coons.
With the cooperation of the aforementioned three coons, all of the charges stemming from Freddie Gray’s murder were dropped on all six suspects.
Coontestant# 45 Baltimore Mayor Stephanie Rawlings-Blake
After prosecutor Marilyn Mosby took the courageous and unprecedented step of casting a wide net to prosecute the murder of a citizen by the police her mayor threw her under the bus by claiming that she (Mosby) was bowing to political pressure as opposed to trying to solve a murder perpetrated by the state. She also insinuated that Mosby was not ready for the big stage, and when her city cops instigated a “riot”, instead of empathizing with the young black youth that were being antagonized by her city police officers she publicly called the kids thugs. Rawlings-Blake was and remains solidly on the side of the Baltimore Police Department despite the fact that the Justice department revealed systemic abuses. She is yet another black face put in a high place to protect white supremacy and maintain the status quo.
Coontestants #44-39 (washed up former athletes for Trump) Mike Tyson, Latrell Sprewell, Terrell Owens Shawn Merriman and Floyd Mayweather
It greatly pains me to put a former main man (Mike Tyson) on this list, but gotta go gotta go. When your allegiance to a purveyor of such overt bigotry and racism is stronger than your allegiance to your people you have out lived your worth to the community.
Coontestant# 38 Katrina Pierson
This bubble headed broad was Donald Chrumps national spokeswoman during his campaign and as ridiculous and juvenile as his little twitter fingers are, hers were worse. So much so that she did not even get a White House job after all the cooning that she did to help get him elected. She’s made more appearances on milk cartons in the mid-west than she has on cable news since Trump was elected.
Coontestant# 37 Malik Obama
This coon from another continent and half brother of President Barack Obama was hired by Donald Chrump to be a prop at his last debate verse Hillary Clinton. He pulled off the trifecta with that coon move. He sold out African-Americans, his family name and the entire continent of Africa.
Coontestamt#36 Armstrong Williams
Armstrong Williams has been cooning since before Tookie Williams was banging. This OG coon has been pushing the white supremacist agenda for so long that I almost for got that he rode the coon train. The television host, business partner and bff of Dr. Ben Carson had an up and down year himself. While his media empire continues to grow and he remains one of the most successful black men in media ownership his penchant for sexually harassing males continue to haunt him…
I wonder what his bff Ben Carson who is anti-gay to the extreme feels about his homies predisposition for getting butt massages by men.
Coontestant#35 Stacy Dash
Stacy Dash aside from being a certified coon for life is a glutton for punishment and addicted to the game of rotisserie roast-me on twitter. She started 2016 out on the wrong foot by decrying the inherent racism of the Image Awards, BET and even going so far as to say that Black History month needed to be abolished. Her timing was impeccable because a week after she made the comments the NAACP image awards came and she was roasted by host Anthony Anderson who said
“Everybody give a round of applause for Stacey Dash…What the hell is she doing here? Doesn’t she know that the Fox network is using her? She’s just an Ann Coulter dipped in butterscotch. That’s all she is. Baby, don’t let them use you! …Come back to the black people and get back to work on some of those beautiful C-movies that you used to do!” ~ Anthony Anderson
And of course Black Twitter had to get a piece of the action
While Twitter had a ball with her coonified faux pas in 2016 unfortunately there will be less opportunities to lampoon her lunacy because Fox News declined to extend her contract for 2017. All that cooning she did and still got dropped. I wonder if BET is hiring???
Coontestants 34-25 Allen West, Jesse Lee Patterson , Herman Cain, Larry Elder, Niger Innis, Raven Symone, Pastor David Manning , Charles Payne and Bob Johnson
These ten consummate coons did not do or say anything of note in 2016. At least nothing more noteworthy than what we have all come to expect from them but what’s a coon list without adding them. The marvel is the fact that none of these handkerchief heads cracked the top 10 or even 20 this year.
Coontestant #24 Lesean “Shady” McCoy
If he needs help, he’ll call the cops ~ Shady McCoy on Colin Kapernicks protest
Coontestant#23 Steve Perry
For most of this dudes career in public life and as a “school reformer” he’s flown far under the radar coondar. It makes him one of the more dangerous coons in America, specifically because his end goal is the destruction of the public school system and the teaching profession-particularly those in black communities. One of the few silver linings in Donald Chrump becoming the president is the fact that the insidious and dastardly deeds as they pertain to his work with school reform overtly dovetails with the plans that the new president has for inner city schools and he is rightly starting to be called out for it and it’s getting harder and harder for him to conceal his true motives.
Coontestant# 22 Lee Daniels
This dude has been speaking reckless for sometime now. His quizzical reasoning for why he cast a white star is as befuddling as it is bemusing.
We would be remiss not to add this guy to the list. With Obama leaving office and Justice he’s the most powerful black man in the nation. And with those powers he votes lock step with the avowed racists in the US senate. From repealing voter rights and protections to removing the social safety net for the most needy this dude is as “ain’t shit” as they come.
Coontestants# 20-19 Diamond & Silk
This is what happens when rats and raccoons crossbred. These two Ratcoons better known as Diamond and Silk are the human equivalent of a Fox News merger with BET. If Azelia Banks and Carlton Banks ever had twins Diamond & Silk is who they’d grow up to be like. These hood possums are a viral minstrel show and are unabashed about it.
Coontestant# 18 Jason Whitlock
Jason Whitlock is another long time coon who has a fairly broad media perch for which he uses to spread his cooned out opines.
Jason Whitlock on Black lives matter:African-Americans are more likely to be struck by lightning than to be killed by police
Jason Whitlock on Colin Kapernicks protest: “This kid was about Instagram models, tattoos, his abs and building up the Colin Kaepernick brand — until the very moment he loses his starting quarterback job, and now he’s out here and he’s ‘Martin Luther Cornrow.’ And he’s got cornrows, he’s Allen Iverson, he’s Angela Davis. I don’t buy it
It’s rather obvious that he hates the black skin that he was born in. It’s unfortunate that he is given such a wide ranging perch on television, radio and print media to misinform the masses while codifying the white supremacist construct.
Coontestant#17 Justice Clarence Thomas
Now that Justice Scalaia is dancing with the devil until the end of eternity and unable to stick his hand up this clowns ass to play puppet master, he’s a rudderless coon on the bench less able to fuck over the country and black people by extension. He still however is one of the most destructive coons to black progression of all time so his falling out of the top ten has much less to do with him doing less cooning in 2016 and much more to do with the the uptick in competition coonpetition for that number one spot.
Coontestant#16 Kanye West
Kanye has been on a collision course with coonery for a while now. And while his fragile mental state is cause for more empathy and understanding than scorn and rebuke we’ed be remiss to omit him from making the top 20 list for 2016. With love of course.
Coontestant# 15 Officer Brentley Vinson
The man on the left is Keith Lamont Scott. Someone who was minding his business reading a book in his car while waiting to pick his kid up from school. The coon on the right is Brently Vinson, the Charlotte officer that murdered him for no reason at all. And while I do think that it’s possible a black man joinging a racist police force such as Charlotte could lead to him becoming a coon, something tells me that Vinson was a coon long before he received his badge. He’s a graduate of Liberty University. What Black man goes there that is not already a coon?
Coontestant# 14 Sgt. Demetrick Pennie
This coon with a badge just wanted to make his name known as a proud member of the Procyon species of mammal. Why else would he bring forth such a frivolous suit? This is what you call “how to get on Fox news 101”. i should not even be giving him the attention but how can he not make this list? This coon is being used as a pawn in a law suit not only naming Black Lives Matter, but also President Obama, Hillary Clinton, and Al Sharpton. This coon is literally throwing his feces at the wall with hopes that is sticks.
Coontestant# 13 Howard Croft
Howard Croft served as the City of Flints director of public works from 2011 until he was forced to resign in 2015. His position oversaw the flint water distribution system. It was him that brought the recommended changes that had the then city emergency manager Ed Kurtz switch the cities water source to the Flint River. He along with Kurtz has been indicted and is facing up to 20 years. Luckily he has the face of a snitch and all indications are he is doing just that as his previous counsel dropped him for meeting with investigators alone and rumors that the governor Rick Snyder too will soon face indictment. Stay tuned…
Coontestant #12 Darnell Earley
Darnell Earley is one of the emergency managers that the governor hand picked to run many of the cities in the state of Michigan. Even before the Flint water crisis that he helped cultivate and cover up he was a certified coon because he was used as a tool to usurp the sovereignty and franchise of the black people of the cities that he was appointed. He basically helped render their votes impotent because no matter who the citizens of Benton Harbor, Flint or Detroit elected, he and the other emergency managers were placed in charge of their city. He eventually replaced Ed Kurtz as city manager of Flint during their ill-fated switch to the Flint river for the cities water supply. Despite knowing that poisons from that river was literally making the citizens of the city sick to death. He too is facing indictment. He even had the audacity to try and stick the cash strapped city of Flint with the bill for his $750 per hour lawyer.
Coontestant#11 Pastor Mark Burns
This extra mediocre fuck boy is your typical witless and talent-less tool. A coon of his stature normally would not make it so close to the top 10 even in a non-vintage year. He makes it this high on the list for the sheer audaciousness of his cooning ways. After cooning his way into a speaking gig at the GOP convention it all came crashing down when his bio was discovered to have been replete with alternative facts. He stated that he was a member of Kappa Alpha Psi fraternity that was a lie, he said that he was in the Army reserve, and that too was proven to be untrue. His being enrolled in a masters of divinity program also was a figment of his imagination. He was confronted with all of these stretches of the truth on camera in a sit down interview with CNN. It was so bad for the coon that he tried to go off the record mid interview and when that did not work homeboy walked out of the interview leaving the CNN correspondent all by his lonesome in his 400 square foot church. In the end Massa Trump took him off the coon circuit and his ass ain’t been seen since.
Top 10 coons of 2016
Coontestant# 10 Pastor Darryl Scott
Pastor Darryl Scott is the lead vocalist in the Black Preachers for Trump crew.
In fact Darryl Scott is the Michael to Pastor Burns Tito in so far as what they mean to the BPFT movement.
So far he has not been able to parlay his pulpit cooning into a steady job with the administration so for now he has to settle for being the right hand coon to Donald’s right hand coon.
Coontestant# 9 Lil Wayne
Wayne actually looks like the physical manifestation of a rat and raccoon encounter during mating season. His music has long been of the minstrel type. However as demeaning and degrading as his music has been over the last couple of decades he managed to make occasional dalliances with the reality faced by many of his fans that made him the mega rap star that he is. That’s why is answers to some very basic questions into his level of black consciousness left so many bemused.
Lil Wayne on Colin Kapernicks protest:
“I’m not into it enough to even give an opinion. Somebody had to tell me why he was doing it. That’s how much I didn’t know what was going on, and I kinda still don’t. Somebody gotta explain to me like, ‘Yo, he kneeling because of Black Lives Matter thing and because’—that whole wave just went by me too fast for me to give an opinion.”
Lil Wayne on racism:
“These 33 years have been nothing but a blessing,” Wayne said on the show. “I have never—never’s a strong word. I have never, never dealt with racism and I’m glad I didn’t have to.” Tunechi added that he didn’t know if being a star made him immune to racism, but he now knows racism does exist despite racism not being his reality, continuing, “I would have to say I thought it was over. I still believe it’s over, but, obviously it isn’t.”
Lil Wayne after black twitter got wind of his coonery:
Coontestant# 8 Jim Brown
Jim’s late breaking 2016 coonery caught a lot of people by surprise but I can’t say that I am one of those folks. Jim has a reputation for being down for the historic causes on behalf of the black community but the truth us Jim has always been out for Jim.
This famous photo of Jim Brown and other great black athletes in their prime years during the 1960’s showing their unconditional and public support is something of an urban legend. Jim Brown is rightly credited with putting the group together, but the stated goal of this meeting of the minds has been obfuscated over the years. This meeting of hall of fame minds was the brainchild of boxing promoter Bob Arum. He tasked Jim Brown with gathering the group to convince Muhammad Ali to enlist in the Army so that his ban from boxing would be rescinded and they could all profit from the burgeoning closed circuit pay per view industry. It just so happened that Ali was game enough for all of them and would not hear any of it. In the end these “well meaning” gentlemen & Jim settled for this iconic photo op.
Which brings us to his most recent photo op in the tale end of 2016. The one where Trump and his loyal brown minions sent him on the now familiar walk of shame through the Trump Towers lobby to deliver this barf inducing quip:
“I fell in love with him because he really talks about helping African-American, black people and that’s why I’m here” ~~ Jim Brown on Donald Trump
# 7 Don King
About the only mantra more annoying than Don Kings “Only in America” chant is Don Trumps “Make America great again” so the natural synergy between the two Dons should surprise no one. What I did find just a little bit surprising is the level of minstrel that Mr.King stooped to while introducing him:
“You’ve got to understand, my black brothers and sisters, they told me, ‘You’ve got to try to emulate and imitate the white man and then you can be successful… So we tried that. They said, ‘If you can get some money, you can do this here.’ I told Michael Jackson, I said if you’re poor, you’re a poor negro – I would use the N-word – but if you’re a rich, you’re a rich negro; if you are intelligent, you’re an intellectual negro; if you’re a dancing and sliding and gliding nigger – I mean negro – you’re a dancing and sliding and gliding negro. So dare not alienate because you cannot assimilate. You know, you’re going to be a negro till you die.”
Coontestant #6 Sherrif David Clarke
Milwaukee sheriff David Clarke is one black man that has never met a shooting of an unarmed black man by a law enforcement officer that he did agree with. David Duke has more genuine love for black people than this afro goatee having nincompoop. In addition to being one of Fox News most prized props for misinformation he oversees as sheriff one of the deadliest jails in the country and for that he has legislators in his state asking that he be removed.
Coontestant# 5 Shaqcoon O’Neal
Shaq shot up the coon charts in 2016. His penchant for always paying homage to the police and being an honorary sheriff has always been a turn off but not enough to place him so high on the coon list or even on it at all. That was of course until her decided it prudent to give his incoherent and coonish opine on Colin Kapernick’s anthem protest on Fox & Friends of all places…
“To each his own…I don’t really have a say on it, but I would never do that. My father was a military man, and you know, he protected this country. Uncles are in law enforcement, you know, they go out and work hard every day..People like Muhammad Ali and Bill Russell, they were one way their whole career. You can’t show us something, and then go to another just because of certain issues”~ Shaq
What makes Shaq’s commentary so egregiously coonish is the fact that he’s part of the .001 percent of Black Americans. Unlike most of the coons that routinley grind our gears he’s far from being a mediocre negro. He literally hit the DNA lottery with his god given physique. He has zero reasons to be cooning and even less reasons to be sitting on the couch with the lame cast of Fox & Friends giving an opine on issues that require depth of understanding and nuanced thought. Big duffus has a PHD yet he let three stoogers from Fox News walk him into talking himself out of his black card.
Coontestant#4 Charles Barkley
Shaq’s partner in coon has much more experience in the area of catering to the angst ridden ego of white males so his offenses to black people and black culture is far less shocking. For him to out rank so many other certified coons he would however have to coon harder than he did in years past. Never one to back down from a challenge Barkley with the help of TNT put on a classical coon performance.
TNT has a 6 part series airing early in 2017 titled “The Race Card” which is a discussion around the hot-button issues that cause and comprise the strained racial relations in today’s America and they tapped Charles Barkley of all people to host the program. They might as well have named it “TNT Trolls Black America” because that is essentially what happened on the first stop of Coon conductor Charles. The first stop was in Baltimore Maryland and it came on the heels of a justice department report that highlighted systemic abuses of the residents of Baltimore at the hands of Baltimore City police. Charles however did not want to talk about that. He instead chastised the audience for not expressing condolences for 4 officers that were killed earlier in the week in other parts of the country. Needless to say that did not go very well. He ended up having to be ushered out by security because they were big mad.
Coontestant # 3 Ben Carson
Dr. Ben Carson is the only coon on the Trump train that was able to engineer for himself a a cabinet position. Being a renowned brain surgeon one would think that naturally he’s be tapped to be the surgeon general. Not in Trumps White House. Carson was instead tapped to head up the department of housing and urban development, something he has next to no clue about. Other than the fact that he’s black and hails from the inner city he is qualified to run HUD in Trumpian thought. Why? Because when they gut the agency render it totally useless they will be able to point to their black token as the cause to shield them from claims of racism.
Coontestant# 2 Ray Lewis
17 years ago Ray Lewis while partying at the Super Bowl in Atlanta with his boys got into some sort of conflict with two men who were both subsequently stabbed to death. Both of the victims blood made it’s way into Ray’s limo and the all white suit that his bama ass was wearing on that cold January day vanished from the face of the earth. Now I’m not calling Ray Lewis and murderer but that is what he was charged with and there was far more evidence linking him to the murders of Jacinth Baker and Richard Lollar than there was evidence linking OJ Simpson to the murders of Ron Goldman and Nicole Brown. Despite the damning evidence and in the case of his Easter Sunday suit the lack there of Ray was acquitted of all charges. By the court or law and by the court of ubiquitous negro opinion. To most of white America however he was still a thug unworthy of playing in the NFL. So he went from Ray Lewis the typical bad boy from the University of Miami to Creflo Dollar Jr with the extra preachy super annoying disposition. Yet and still most from the Negro delegation even still. That obviously did not ingratiate himself enough with white America because in more recent years he’s incorporated some serious respectability negro politics into his spiel.
He started with making a bunch of lame videos appealing to the youth of Baltimore to behave and not riot in the face of police abuse then slowly but surely went full blown coon on us with several appearances on The Undisputed hosted by fellow coon Jason Whitlock where they formed the greatest black tag team duo since Rocky Johnson and Tony Atlas manned the squared circle. The Colin Kapernick story gave this tag team duo all kinds of coon life but that was just a warm up for Ray Ray. He too took the infamous walk of shame photo op at Trump Towers. But unlike Kanye, Jim Brown and Steve Harvey Ray looked like he was quite conformable in that setting.
Coon of the Year: Omarosa
This she devil right here is the most dangerous and despicable black woman in America–the world even. She’s Kelly-Ann Conway with melanin and a functioning brain. She’s #blackgirlrocks minus a conscious.
This cold calculating shrew is Donald Trumps bottom bitch and director of African-American coon outreach for his administration. She’s the cunning concubine of the slave master… .
…but don’t mistake her for Ernestine.
She’s much closer to the type of concubine that you’d find on the Candy land Plantation. You know the type that can’t live without master.
The truly unfortunate thing about her is the fact that she is smart, highly ambitious and talented. She knows more than the average coon and even more than the man that pays her a hansom ransom to corral and create more coons. She’s gonna make coons out of a lot of men these next four years. I pray that in the next few years she does not morph into some sort of role model for the young black, melaninated and impressionable young girls coming up. It’s bad enough that we have an avalanche of black men bending over backwards and forwards to appease the white male supremacist ethos that infects America. The last thing we need is a role model for young black girls to think it prudent to do the same. So while there’s no denying her drive and black girl magic, the fact that she uses her powers for evil purposes we’re going to have to shelve celebrating her achievements during the month of February.
2016 has been quite a coontastic year. i’m talking vintage. So much so that we had to trade in the coon train for a vessel much larger to accommodate all of them. Cooning has become an epidemic in America and it is important that we in the non-cooning negro community collectively rebuke such behavior whenever it occurs. As with anything else there are levels to coonery. These first set of 50 coons are what we call somewhat redeemable coons. Particularly the first 20-30. The closer to the number one spot they get the less redeemable they get.
So with out further ado here are your top 100 coons for 2016 (the first 50)
Coontestants# 100-91: Mainstream black media members Donna Brazille, Al Sharpton, Karen Finney, Toure, Jonathan Capehart, Eugene Robinson, Harold Ford, Joy Reid, Don Lemon and Juan Williams
The black members of the mainstream media serve a very purposeful role and that is to correct the myriad false narratives bantered about in the ether and more importantly to better inform black people so that as a community we’d be able to make the best decisions possible–particularly at the ballot box. All of these members of the mainstream press checked their journalistic integrity and intellectual honesty at the door and for the most part became defacto campaign surrogates for Hillary Clinton. They did not challenge any of the false narratives, half truths or out right myths surrounding her coronation to the Democratic nomination which in turn fed her false sense of invincibility in the general election. These ten members of the mainstream media as much as anyone else in media are responsible for the incoming idiot in chief. In 2017 lets not rely on these characters to bring us the news we need. In the very least look at each of them with a more cautious eye while holding them to higher standards as I believe they all could do better.
Coontestants#92-83: The Seahawks response to Colin Kapernicks national anthem protest
Coontestant #82: Fantasia
Coontestant#81 Mary J Blige
Coontestant#80: Laila Ali
“Yes, black lives matter. Yes, white lives matter, asian lives matter. All lives matter…And that’s kind of what my focus is. But it’s hard because, you know, you’ve got sponsors and you’ve got this and you’ve got that. And you don’t want to step on anybody’s toes. And you’re trying to be politically correct, but at the same time trying to uplift your people.~ Laila Ali
Coontestants#79-73 “The Mothers of the Movement”
Coontestant#72 Sage Steele
Coontestant#71 Jerry Rice
Coontestant# 70 Victor Cruz
Coontestant# 69 Dennis Rodman
Coontestant# 68 Fat Joe
Coontestant# 67 Tiki Barber
Coontestant# 66 Michael Crabtreeinthebucket
“I just play football, I ain’t no Martin Luther King.”~ Michael Crabtree
Coontestestant #65 Rodney Harrison
“Obviously he has the right to stand up for what he believes, but he has to understand there are consequences and might be backlash for what he said. You know a lot of people are criticizing him — I think his heart is in the right place, I just think he was going about it in the wrong way, If he really wants to make change, sitting his butt down [during the anthem], that’s not going to change, that’s going to get people very upset and he has to understand that. If you think sitting during the national anthem, a lot of people really served before his time, now, trying to give him the freedoms and the liberties that he has … and I tell you this, I’m a black man. And Colin Kaepernick — he’s not black. He can not understand what I face and what other young black men and black people face, or people of color face, on a every single [day] basis. When you walk in a grocery store, and you might have $2,000 or $3,000 in your pocket and you go up in to a Foot Locker and they’re looking at you like you about to steal something. I don’t think he faces those types of things.” ~ Rodney Harrison
Coontestant# 64 Charlemagne
Coontestant# 63 DJ Envy
Coontestant#62 Stephen A Smith
Stephen A Smith who cracked the top ten in years past was not even supposed to make the list this year because for the most part in 2016 he practiced reasonably responsible journalism. That was until he lost his mind over the fact that Colin Kapernick did not vote. Here’s a dude (Colin Kapernick) that donated over 1 million dollars in 2016 to causes that help uplift the poor black and brown and this coon is brow beating him because he did not vote for either of the two candidates that have more than proven to not have the best interest of the community in heart mind and agenda.
in his own words:
“As far as I’m concerned Colin Kaepernick is absolutely irrelevant, I don’t want to hear a damn word about anything that he has to say about our nation, the issues that we have, racial injustices, needing change, et cetera, et cetera…He comes across as a flaming hypocrite as far as I’m concerned. I’m not interested in a damn word that he has to say and quite frankly I hope he goes away, He’s lucky to be in the league right now…And Colin Kaepernick after all this noise that you’ve made, even though you didn’t intend to do so by offending our military service men and women. And pointing out about how you wanted to bring attention to racial injustices and beyond that’s in this country. To turn around and not to even take your behind to the polls to vote for a particular candidate–it is shameful. Absolutely shameful, Him of all people, because of the position he took, because of the attention he brought to the issues, the fact that he doesn’t have the decency to go to the polls and activate yourself in this election (as our president said) is a damn shame…I don’t want to hear another word from Colin Kaepernick. It’s a waste of time. [As] a matter of fact, I would personally make a request to the media in this nation: Wherever he is, if he ain’t on that football field trying to throw another damn incomplete pass, do me a favor and make sure of one thing, take the camera away from him. It means nothing. Because for him not to vote, as far as I’m concerned, everything he said meant absolutely nothing. Absolutely nothing. I don’t want to hear another damn word from him. Nothing.” ~Stephen A Smith .
Coontestant#61 Venus Williams
After her sister Serena took to Facebok and penned a heartfelt missive about her concerns about the ongoing injustices dealt to black people at the hands of police and municipal governments Venus was asked her thoughts. And lets just say her opine was not Black Twitter approved..
Coontestants 60-58 Elijah Cummings, James Clyburn and John Lewis
These three “distinguished gentlemen” underscore the fecklessness and ineffectual direction that the Congressional Black Caucus has long been going in. Once billed as the conscience of the congress the CBC just like these three bozos are bought and paid entities of America’s corporate overlords. No longer are they in congress to serve the people. They are there to enrich themselves and hold on to their seats. It’s high time they all be replaced by some new blood.
Coontestant#57 Lil Bow Wow
Coontestant#56 Dorsey Montgomery
Coontestant# 55 Young Thug
Coontestant# 54 Kevin Gates
On the heels of all the protests surrounding the murders of Alton Sterling and Philando Castile, this is what Kevin Gates had to say:
“We kill each other. I’m talking about we lay up under each other’s cars, lay behind each other’s houses then whip by, boom boom, kill everybody in the car…but as soon as a white boy kills one of us, everybody go to hoopin’ and hollerin’ and all that old stupid-ass shit …That’s bullshit. When you stand for something, you’ve got t[o] stand for it all the way, not half way.” ~ Kevin Gates
Coontestant# 53 Trick Daddy
Coontestant#52 Tommy Sotomeyer
Back in July he got into a fender bender with a black woman and after the sister questioned why he was recording her he says this:
“That’s the problem with Black women right there, they talk, “This is why nobody likes these Black whores. Look at her. Black whores. Black whores. Get out my face, though, bitch. I’ll whip yo muthafuckin ass…I don’t like Black bitches, anyway. Bye, broke bitch. My car cost more than your house, bitch. My car cost more than your house, bitch. You don’t know who you talking to. Watch when you find yourself online.”~ Tommy Sotomoyer
The video went viral as he intended but the blow back for his cooning for clicks shenanigans was too much for him to handle hence he used his platform for the first time to speak highly of black women where he pulled the “I never had a father” card. Of course we all know that the apology was bullshit but that is a testament to how much of a bully pulpit the Twitter verse can be when properly leveraged. Another win for Black Twitter but I will say this. It really is time to start giving eye jammies to these brothers out here that think it prudent to be so overtly disrespectful to black women as he and a number of the coons that made this list have been.
Coontestant# 51 Rza
“If I’m a cop and every time I see a young black youth, whether I watch them on TV, movies, or just see them hanging out, and they’re not looking properly dressed, properly refined, you know, carrying himself, conducting himself proper hours of the day — things that a man does, you’re going to have a certain fear and stereotype of them…I tell my sons, I say, ‘if you’re going somewhere, you don’t have to wear a hoodie — we live in New York, so a hoodie and all that is all good. But sometimes, you know, button up your shirt. Clean up. Look like a young man. You’re not a little kid.” ~Rza
What makes his statement so eggregious is the fact that as one of the founding members of the Wu Tang Clan and the so-called genius of the group he made his living off of urban wears and urban vernacuilar. Now that he’s hanging out with Russell Crow and the Hollywood Click he wants to go all rescpctable Negroe on us.
Coontestant#50 Wendy Williams
“His speech was very poignant, on one hand. On the other hand, you know, I would be really offended if there was a school that was known as a historically White college. We have historically Black colleges. What if it was the National Organization for White People only? There’s the NAACP.”~ Wendy Williams
After a noticeably silent gasp of her normally gregarious audience she goes:
“Look everybody’s quiet. You’re leaving me out here to dry by myself?”
Now a normal dummy, even with coon tendencies would take that silent queue as a hint that they should probably quit while they are ahead and switch up the conversation. But not Wendy Williams. She’s a special kind of stupid. She goes on to say:
“National speeches like this always rub people the wrong way. Just like White people will be offended because Spelman College is a historically Black college for women. You might feel funny about that. I know I’d feel funny like I just told you. If there was a White college or whatever.”
Twitter eat her ass up so bad that that Chevrolet who previously helped underwrite her show dropped her.
Rarely do we find men who willingly engage in hard, solid thinking. There is an almost universal quest for easy answers and half-baked solutions. Nothing pains some people more than having to think ~ Martin Luther King Jr.
Chess is a thinking persons game. It’s a long game–one in which you have to see past your next several moves in order to stay ahead and eventually win. Politics just like chess is a long game and one that if it is to be played to win must involve an actual strategy. Voting for the lesser of two evils is not a strategy–not even in checkers. So in this political game of chess how are we going to ever win if we keep on employing a strategy that’s not even helpful in a lesser game?
It’s high time we abandon the failed strategies of the past and disabuse the kind of expedient measures that continue to net undesirable results. It really is okay to NOT be with her OR him.
A vote for Jill Stein knowing that she stands no chance of winning is not just an emotional response from progressive minded voters disenchanted with the Clinton Machine and the dubious at best democratic primary process. It’s also a strategy. It’s far from a guaranteed strategy that will immediately pay dividends but if played correctly it’s a low risk high reward (even if it’s down the road) strategy that will only strengthen our collective hand in future elections and more importantly empower future generations that will be able to build on the strategic moves that we have in our power to make.
If you live in a deep red state like Alabama or Arkansas theoretically you’re throwing your vote away by voting for anyone but Trump because nobody not named Donald J Trump is going to win those two states and other similar states where Neanderthals comprise the median voting demographic. Similarly If you vote in a deep blue state like Connecticut, Maryland or Vermont you can as well afford to make more of a statement with a third party vote because if you vote for the only candidate that’s gonna win those respective states (Hillary) the exit polls will serve as consent for every policy initiative that comes across her desk. Good, bad, ugly and down right evil .
Elections today are 24/7/365 so the minute Hillary takes the oath of office she will be campaigning for 2020. If her internal pollsters find that the overwhelming majority of people in America who are not certified coons, jack asses or bigots (the typical Trump constituent) approve of not only her hawkish proclivities but also her her neo-liberal agenda guess what? It will be full steam ahead with the enactment of them. That is not winning. If on the other hand those exit polls reflect a sizable portion of the reliably democratic electorate that remains averse to her brand of politic she would be forced legislatively to the left in the same manner in which the Bernie Sanders run forced her campaign style to the left.
I get the fear of a Trump presidency. I’m in no way suggesting that everyone gamble on a Green party political novice to risk giving the white house to the greater evil (on paper and public perception wise). What I am suggesting is that you make your vote really count. As black people we are the most solid monolithic voting black in America yet we remain the most under represented sub groups in the country. That is primarily because we are not strategic in our voting or thinking.
We need and deserve a #blacklivesmatter approved candidate. They don’t necessarily have to be black but their policy positions and worldview needs to be aligned with the movement. The only way that we are ever going to see such a candidate like that see a viable route to a nomination is if we demand it. As a people we cannot throw 85 -90 percent of our vote to Hillary Clinton. That will in no way make her a better president and more importantly it will in no way improve the state of Black America. If you live in Florida, Ohio, Virginia, Nevada or any other swing state by all means–be with her! Vote for Hillary. But if you live in the south where Hillary stands no chance it is not a gamble to vote third party. If you live in a deep blue state there is no harm in not allowing her to run up the numbers on Trump. At the end of the day it is not about him so much as it is about keeping him out of office–but that can’t be the only goal and if it remains the only goal at best we are at a stalemate. At worst and more probable we lose.
2015 was another coontastic year full of black folks doing their latest and greatest “Shuck & Jive” routine to remain in the good graces of mainstream conservative white America. I could go on and on for days about the kind of self loathing self centered and selfish motivations that go into making certain black men and women suspend all manners of pride and common logic while spewing the most embarrassing rhetoric for the sole purpose of ingratiating themselves with the kind of dying breed of thought propagated on Fox news, but I don’t have all day and since we have already said farewell to 2015 I’m going to cut to the chase and share my top 10 Coons of the last 365 day cycle…
#10 Raven Symone
~ Now Raven is probably one of the more innocuous additions to this list because unlike the coons that will follow her she has not outwardly advocated for or co-signed the murder of black people, stumped for Trump or any of the more outlandish things that her brothers and sisters in coondumb are guilty of.
With that being said Raven is a black woman that has a national media platform and while The View to most serious people may be superficial day time programming in nature, Ravens words, thoughts and opinions reverberate and have wide spread resonance. With such a dearth in black voices in media she has a responsibility (whether she accepts this or not) to represent the overall interest of African-Americans as they portend to social uplift and all manners of equality. While Raven is far from the most egregious on air offender of black sensibilities I would be remiss not to coon-crown her for openly embracing discriminating against people with ethnic or as she puts it “ghetto sounding” names.
She received enough backlash for her banal brain musing that she did the unthinkable–at least for a coon. She actually apologized to black people and retracted her statement. And while there are other examples this year of her cooning we will not belabor the point because again, unlike the coons on the list that will follow her there is some hope. Let’s pray that she understands the error of her ways and does not make next year’s list.
#9 Jonathan Gentry
~ Now most don’t know this “Soul Glo” Negro. Hell, I barley know who he is. I just happened to pass one of his coonified productions on Facebook and could not help but to opine on the kind of chicanery chicoonery that he had on display. Of course the mostly all white people on his page that pats him on his greasy ass head for his Uncle Tom soliloquies rushed to defend their lawn jockey. My retort to his rabidly racist followers ended up getting me a 30 day ban from Facebook…
…so needless to say my number 9 selection was more personal in nature. Though the Coon-job that he’s pulling off is still worthy of mention.
#8 Rod Wheeler
~ Rod Wheeler is another lesser known coon (unless you are a Fox Newsbot) who deserves some recognition for his incessant coonery and failing of black people in media. The following clip speaks for itself. As a black man and former police officer he has totally abdicated his responsibilities to the community by co-signing the deaths of the innocent victims of racist policing in America. His answer to how to stop police killings of unarmed black people is to get out of their way and let them do their jobs. Oh and that there needs to be a change at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue. He really said that…
#7 Kevin Jackson
~ Kevin Jackson is one of the better known hired guns (against black progress) of Fox News. He makes a living being the attack dog for white supremacy on air. No matter how egregious the offense to black people are he will always side with whatever Sean Hannity’s opinion is. He is to Sean Hannity what Justice Clarence Thomas is to Justice Antoion Scalaia–a lap dog.
His answer about what ails black America will always default to liberal policies, the Democratic party and Al Sharpton & Jesse Jackson. No matter what the specific topic at hand is. I think we all know a coon or two like this guy.
#6 Diamond & Silk
~ Now these two coonettes were plucked from under the same rock of obscurity that the rest of Donald Trumps dangerously uneducated following crawled from under. The two of these women together can be described as nothing short of a minstrel act. The kind of cooning that they have on display would normally grant them a higher ranking but as I said earlier–2015 was quite the coontastic year and these birds have little to no influence on even the most guile among us so all this performance really amounts to is a modern day Amos and Andy skit.
Two extra mediocre ghetto birds with lace front weaves endorsing Donald Trump and his Mein Kampf style of politics amounts to being just a misdomeaner in comparison to the Trump endorsements coondorsements to follow…
#5 The Black Preachers that endorsed Trump
…because after all not even the average ghetto bird will follow these ghetto birds to the polls to vote for him. The Diamond and Silk coon combo at the end of the day will garner minimal (if any) black voters for Trump. Their purpose more than anything is to assuage white racist guilt and to allow Trump to keep on saying “The Blacks love me”. These black preachers stumping for Trump is a much more nefarious act of treason to the community because these men are literally paid to lead flocks of black people and they are knowingly leading their flock to vote for a man that overtly disdains them and is literally promising to increase their misery index. No matter what these men and women have done in their respective ministries in the past to uplift the community (if they’ve done that at all) they will now and forevermore be remembered for selling out the black and progressive cause for Donald Trumps chump change. They have reached the point of no return and are coons for life–the same holds true for their respective congregants. So yes, if you still sit in any of these house niggers pew on Sunday, you too are a coon for life.
Then there was this…
Omorosa was the actual ring leader of the Black Preachers for Trump Coon Brigade. She’s higher on the list and singled out because in addition to being an ordained minister she’s a very accomplished woman and has enough merit and stripes that such cooning on her part for Donald Trump is wholly unnecessary. Her literally whoring for one of the most overtly racist men to run for president since Barry Goldwater should forever relegate her to being nothing more than a coon, bed wench, mammy (insert Uncle Tom pejorative of choice).
#3 Ben Carson
~Mr. Gifted Hands has anything but a gifted mind. His meteoric yet ephemeral rise to the top of the GOP presidential polls mirrors that of Herman Cains rise (and fall) four years ago. By now it’s pretty obvious that both men are the ultimate tokens of the Grand Ole Party’s fledgling nomination process whereby they serve as the ultimate cover for the most ignorant and bigoted voters (and pollsters that corral them) in the nation and allow them to opine in the most mind numbing racist ways only to claim that they are not racist because they are voting for a buffoon named Ben. Even the dolts that claim to be supporting this useful idiot know that come Super Tuesday his name will be no where near a ballot.
Ben Carson is the Rain Man of brain surgery–politics not so much. In the school of medicine the dude is genius extraordinaire. In the school of politics, common sense and all things unrelated to cutting open the medulla oblongata, he’s arrested in his development and suffering from an undiagnosed case of Asperger’s (no offense to anyone with a child on the autism spectrum). He’s more socially awkward, inept and out of place on the national political stage than a 3rd grader at the opera. The good news is that by this time next election cycle he will be the same faint and distant memory (and footnote in history) that Herman Cain is today because his useful idiocy will have long expired. Enjoy Corky while you can.
#2 Sheriff David Clarke
Sheriff David the Coon Clarke has never met a police shooting of an unarmed black person that he did not agree with or co-sign as great police work. His rise to notoriety (mostly via Fox and CNN) coincides with and is in direct correlation to the level of outrage generated by the myriad murders by police caught on tape. He’s paraded around the networks to basically explain away racist police policies and abuse of authority. This makes him one of the most dangerous men (for blacks) on television.
And oh yeah, his answer to what ails the black community is single black women.
#1 Reverend Jesse Lee Peterson
Allow me to drop this verbatim right here (Rev. Jesse Lee Patterson on the Black Lives Matter Movement)
“It’s a hate group, they’re no different than the skinheads or the KKK. They are people who have never been taught to love. From the beginning of their lives they were taught to hate, blame and become victims. They’re just spending a lifetime blaming white Americans, blaming slavery for their lack of good parents in the homes and their lack of love… If Black Lives Matter was a white radical group, doing exactly what these black people are doing, they would be shut down. America would not allow that to happen…white Americans feel helpless and they have fear and they allow black lives matter, and other groups, to destroy our country…I’ve done a lot of work in the prisons and jails, and juvenile detention centers over the years. They have taught, and are teaching black youth, both male and female now, that Christianity is the white man’s religion and that Islam is the black man’s religion…At one point, I was a liberal Democrat, and I had the same anger as Black Lives Matter have because my father wasn’t there for me. Instead of people helping me to forgive him, they told me it was white racism, so I had to same hatred for white people…But I went to God and asked him to show me what was wrong, he allowed me to see it was that anger that starts in the home.
Uncle Ruckus could not have said that any better (from the purview of a coon of course). And if that is not enough to justify his top billing as Coon of the year the following clip should cement his standing
When Sean Hannity has to tell you to dial back the coonery–you have officially earned the title Coon of the Year.