Cooncatagory #1 The CLARENCE THOMAS LIFETIME COONCHIEVEMENT AWARD
This award goes to the man/woman on Clubhouse who has contributed the most (in deeds and dictate) to tearing down the Black community for the express benefit of upholding white supremacy. This person will 12 out of 10 times side with the whites over the blacks—no matter what the issue is. They are perhaps the most despicable Coons that affect the culture because they honestly and truly hate Black people.
Cooncatagory #2 The UNCLE RUCKUS DON’T TRUST THOSE NEW NIGGERS OVER THERE
This award goes to the man/woman most skilled in scapegoating disaffected minorities for all that ails society. Particularly within the “black community”. This person is usually a cantankerous old person (or young person with an old ass decrepit soul) that has failed at the game of life and only seeks to find excuses for why it’s someone else fault that they’re a loser 😞. You will usually find this type of coon on Clubhouse dressing down Black immigrants using pseudo history that they pulled out of their ass or a bunch of other nonsense that they claimed to learn from their nana.
Cooncatagory #3 The HERMAN CAIN RIDE AND DIE AWARD
The Herman Can Ride AND Die award goes to Coon most likely to lay down his or her life to preserve the white supremacist construct. They would literally sign a waiver and/or NDA to protect their favorite white supremacists as they freely spread invective, misinformation and deadly viruses 🦠. This person loves white supremacy even more than their own family.
Cooncatagory #4 The STEVEN FROM DJANGO DON’T TOUCH MY MASSA, HIM BEEN GOOD TO ME AWARD
This award goes out to the Black man or woman on this app who will protect their massa at all costs. Well almost. Unlike the Herman Cain Ride AND Die award this sort of coon only rides the bus 🚌 until the wheels fall off. At which point they hop off and either falls in line with some other white supremacist benefactor. Or pretend that they were down with the blacks all along (lying with a straight face). They are the embodiment of the house nigger. For them it’s all about self preservation more than anything else. It’s evidenced by my favorite scene in Django when he told them to say bye to Ms Laura. Even though Stephen loved him some Candyman and he just finished watching his massa die, he was much more interested in fleeing than fighting. That’s typically how this type of coon moves on Clubhouse.
Cooncatagory #5 The TERRY CREWS GYM CROW IS NOT RACIST award.
Terry Crew Gym Crow Error Award goes to the type of coon that has more muscle 💪🏿 power than brain 🧠 power—even the ones that don’t have muscles. They typically apologize for the racism in our midst rather than challenging or even acknowledging it. When shown real-time blatant racism in society this type of coon sees no racism, hears no racism and feels no racism. Unless of course it’s a Black person “being racist”. You’d actually hear some of them say things like “Black people are the most racists people in America”. Their Twitter activity is also eerily similar to the following:
Cooncatagory #6 The VAN JONES CRY ME A RIVER award.
This award goes to the type of coon that whines incessantly while cooning hard. He or she lacks core convictions so they have a bi-partisan flow to their coonagraphy. One day you might catch them pushing or protecting a Democratic agenda and the next day you might catch them co-crying over some Republican nonsense. The one thing that’s consistent is the paper trail. This sort of coon is on a paper chase and in such their opines are subject to whichever way the money goes.
Cooncatagory #7 The WILLIAM O’NEIL COONINTELPRO PAID AGENT Award
This award goes to people/Clubs who have joined organizations and movements (on and off this app) that publicly purport to support Black people but secretly seek to divide and destroy real progress within said community. Some of them talk a very good game and are skilled in the art of double speak and bullshit rhetoric. Many are great orators actually. But upon interrogating their thoughts and motives it becomes crystal clear that J Edgar Hoover would have hired them. This type of coon is most certainly on the payroll of some nefarious clandestine white supremacist organization. You don’t even need the receipts to tell.
Cooncatagory #8 The KANYE WEST, SLAVERY WAS A CHOICE AWARD
This award goes to the Black man or woman that routinely blames Black people for the conditions that white supremacy created. They are often heard saying that white supremacy does not exist or that white supremacy is a mind set as opposed to a systematic structural impediment. The level of psycho babble that emanates when they go off mute 🤐 has the listener wondering 💭 what their IEP looked like through school. They consistently wade into topical conversations that they have absolutely no grasp of. On Clubhouse they simply repeat long debunked talking points, anecdotal stories (that others have told) and regular ass white supremacist propaganda. They are followers that look in the mirror and see a leader.
Cooncatagory #9 The BEN CARSON GIFTED HANDS BUT USELESS MIND Award
This award goes to someone who on the surface is seemingly bright. At least they should be according to their stated credentials. Then they unmic and make it painstakingly clear that their brain is like that egg on drugs from that commercial back in the day.
Cooncatagory#10 The Kevin Samuels/Tommy Sotomayor , damn I hate Black women award 🥇
This award goes to the Black man on this app who inexplicably ,incessantly and most consistently tears down Black women. You will see them on this app blaming Black women for everything from eating the apple in the garden of Eden to mass incarceration of Black men in America. The cause of all the world’s problems according to this person are Black women. Many of these dudes hate their mothers and/or don’t know their fathers. In their mind most single mothers became single mothers via immaculate inception. From their room titles to the banter in their spaces it’s nothing but toxic. Only therapy can help this type of coon to become well.
Cooncatagory #11 The Pink Pill I hate all Black men award. Even the good ones (because they don’t exist)
This award basically goes to the female counterpart of the ignorant Black women male haters. You will often hear them propagating terms like hypergamy and divestment to explain away their anti-blackness. At the end of the day they are jaded in ways that are far above my pay grade to diagnose.
Cooncatagory#12 The LARRY ELDER GIVE REPARATIONS TO MY MASSA SINCE I CAN’T BE HIS SLAVE ANYMORE
The LARRY ELDER GIVE REPARATIONS TO MY MASSA SINCE I CAN’T BE HIS SLAVE ANYMORE award goes to the Black man or woman who would literally vote to bring back chattel slavery because they feel like they secured space in the big house. Basically we are talking about people who are sad that they were born too late to be a house nigger. The Larry Elder Give Reparations To My Massa Since I can’t be his slave anymore type coon aspires to be the kind of coon that the Stephen From Django became. Minus the dead master of course.
Cooncatagory #13 THE I’M NOT BLACK I’M OJ OR WHATEVER Award
This award goes to the Black man or Black woman on this app that claims to be everything but Black while often times denying having any roots to Africa. They include nappy head and lace front Indians, aboriginal people, Moors, Israelites and all sorts of other goofy things that most of the people on this app never talked about before coming on here.
Cooncatagory #14 The African that was running for Governor that said Black history month should end but none of the people that bring him up seem to know his name award.
This award goes to the non-African American non ADOS Black person that are either domestic or abroad pushing white supremacist talking points and ideals. Sometimes they agree with American bred coons and sometimes they defer. Either way they share the same contorted worldview that has been highly tainted by white supremacist thoughts.
Cooncatagory #15 The Herschel Walker Run nigger Run Award
The Herschel Walker run nigger run award goes to Negropeon most skilled in the art of assuaging guilt and placating the fragile feelings of bigoted whites. They often tend to embody and accentuate the most negative stereotypes about Black men. Whether it be running faster into a brick wall for entertainment purposes, having multiple babies from multiple women (and not taking care of them, or speaking fluent slave English this person checks all of the stereotypical tropes on the box. To the most racist white minds in America the Herschel Walker run nigger run award is the model Black American. Particularly if they can get this person to parrot their political and philosophical talking points Ad nausea.
Cooncatagory #16 the Tariq Nasheed All Black lives don’t matter award
This award goes to the Black person on this app most skilled in delineating blackness. In fact delineation is their favorite new word. This type of Coon often comes across as halfway intelligent until you give sufficient push back to their talking points. That is when you find out that this person is another black selling out to white supremacy.
Cooncatagory #17 The Chuck and Shaq Shuck & Jivers minstrel duo of the year award.
This award goes to the duo on this app that exists solely to entertain and assuage white people while simultaneously humbling (and humiliating) Black people. You will often hear these two in the most Buffon like fashion finger wave to Black people for the most minor infractions while forgiving the most egregious offenses of Black people by whites. This modern day Amos and Andy minstrel act usually works in tandem. Where you see Coon Frick you normally see Coon frack. So this particular Coonomination MUST be of two Clubhouse Coons that are most often mixed together and co-singners of each others constant Coonery.
Cooncatagory #18 The Stephen A Smith Jerry Jones is a good man award. Don’t nobody better say nothing bad about masa Jerry.
This award is similar to the Chuck and Shaq shuck and jivers of the year award except it’s a singular individual. This person again is bombastic, loud and proud about their overt defense of white supremacy. No excuse to too lame 😒 for this person when it comes to protecting whites racists. At the same time no explanation for why a Black person may come up short in any given scenario. You will usually find this sort of coon saying things like “white supremacy does not exist” or “Black people are as racist as white people”.
Cooncatagory #19 The Candace Owens Super Mammy I want to breast feed white babies 👶 for a living award.
This award basically goes to the female version of Cooncatagory #18. She like he will do and say anything to protect their white supremacist benefactors. Ask her about any infraction against Black people. From Trayvon Martin, to Ahmad Arbery to Sandra Bland and she will consistently land on the point that they are all responsible for the unfortunate events that claimed their lives. Racism or white supremacy will never be a conclusion of theirs.
Cooncatagory #20 The Heisman of Coonery. Also known as the Coon of the year also known as King/Queen Coom also known as the Ace Boon Coon.
The 2022 Heisman award of Coonery goes to the coon on this app that checked the most boxes of Coonery this past year. Meaning they displayed a healthy combination of characteristics from Cooncatagories 1 to 19.
As bad as cast of characters were in act one, their black cards don’t necessarily need to be revoked–at least not permanently. Act two though? These 50 coons for the most part are coons that black people need to collectively shun for good barring a 180 degree about face from whatever the infraction(s) was that landed them in such dubious company.
Coontestant# 49 Cam Newton
Based on his offense to blackness in 2016 Cam actually belongs in the first group of redeemable coons. Cam is setting off the coon for life team via extrapolation. In 2015 Cam embraced being a strong and proudblack man, much to the chagrin of the Carolina fan base and of course team ownership. So what did they do? They decided to bring in GOP spin doctor and race bait extraordinaire Frank Luntz to be the quarterbacks coach on navigating conversations on social issues and race, and boy was Cam a quick study.
At the rate of change that Luntz’s tutelage had on Cam, if he remains the QB’s race coach for much longer Cam will indeed become the second coming of Sammy Sosa–and much closer to the number one spot in the next year. Here’s hoping that Cam listens to more sounds of blackness in 2017 and less Frank Luntz.
#uncoonthyselfcam
Coontestants 48-46 Alicia D White, Caesar R Goodson and William Porter
While these three coons did not directly kill Freddie Gray, they grossly abdicated their civic responsibilities, their blackness and their sheer humanity to protect the blue shield. They were charged along with the three white officers who were actually the ones that mortally wounded Gray in an attempt to get to the truth. In the end the the well intended tactic failed. Largely because of these three coward ass coons.
With the cooperation of the aforementioned three coons, all of the charges stemming from Freddie Gray’s murder were dropped on all six suspects.
#blackcooopblackcopblackcopblackcop
Coontestant# 45 Baltimore Mayor Stephanie Rawlings-Blake
After prosecutor Marilyn Mosby took the courageous and unprecedented step of casting a wide net to prosecute the murder of a citizen by the police her mayor threw her under the bus by claiming that she (Mosby) was bowing to political pressure as opposed to trying to solve a murder perpetrated by the state. She also insinuated that Mosby was not ready for the big stage, and when her city cops instigated a “riot”, instead of empathizing with the young black youth that were being antagonized by her city police officers she publicly called the kids thugs. Rawlings-Blake was and remains solidly on the side of the Baltimore Police Department despite the fact that the Justice department revealed systemic abuses. She is yet another black face put in a high place to protect white supremacy and maintain the status quo.
#olemammyassmammy
Coontestants #44-39 (washed up former athletes for Trump) Mike Tyson, Latrell Sprewell, Terrell Owens Shawn Merriman and Floyd Mayweather
It greatly pains me to put a former main man (Mike Tyson) on this list, but gotta go gotta go. When your allegiance to a purveyor of such overt bigotry and racism is stronger than your allegiance to your people you have out lived your worth to the community.
#allfuckboysquad
Coontestant# 38 Katrina Pierson
This bubble headed broad was Donald Chrumps national spokeswoman during his campaign and as ridiculous and juvenile as his little twitter fingers are, hers were worse. So much so that she did not even get a White House job after all the cooning that she did to help get him elected. She’s made more appearances on milk cartons in the mid-west than she has on cable news since Trump was elected.
#whereswaldo
Coontestant# 37 Malik Obama
This coon from another continent and half brother of President Barack Obama was hired by Donald Chrump to be a prop at his last debate verse Hillary Clinton. He pulled off the trifecta with that coon move. He sold out African-Americans, his family name and the entire continent of Africa.
#dreamsofmyhalfwithalfbrother
Coontestamt#36 Armstrong Williams
Armstrong Williams has been cooning since before Tookie Williams was banging. This OG coon has been pushing the white supremacist agenda for so long that I almost for got that he rode the coon train. The television host, business partner and bff of Dr. Ben Carson had an up and down year himself. While his media empire continues to grow and he remains one of the most successful black men in media ownership his penchant for sexually harassing males continue to haunt him…
Excerpts from the Washington Post
I wonder what his bff Ben Carson who is anti-gay to the extreme feels about his homies predisposition for getting butt massages by men.
#liketwohangersinacloset
Coontestant#35 Stacy Dash
Stacy Dash aside from being a certified coon for life is a glutton for punishment and addicted to the game of rotisserie roast-me on twitter. She started 2016 out on the wrong foot by decrying the inherent racism of the Image Awards, BET and even going so far as to say that Black History month needed to be abolished. Her timing was impeccable because a week after she made the comments the NAACP image awards came and she was roasted by host Anthony Anderson who said
“Everybody give a round of applause for Stacey Dash…What the hell is she doing here? Doesn’t she know that the Fox network is using her? She’s just an Ann Coulter dipped in butterscotch. That’s all she is. Baby, don’t let them use you! …Come back to the black people and get back to work on some of those beautiful C-movies that you used to do!” ~ Anthony Anderson
And of course Black Twitter had to get a piece of the action
BET was among the first of many in the Twiterverse to clap back
While Twitter had a ball with her coonified faux pas in 2016 unfortunately there will be less opportunities to lampoon her lunacy because Fox News declined to extend her contract for 2017. All that cooning she did and still got dropped. I wonder if BET is hiring???
#biggestloser
Coontestants 34-25 Allen West, Jesse Lee Patterson , Herman Cain, Larry Elder, Niger Innis, Raven Symone, Pastor David Manning , Charles Payne and Bob Johnson
These ten consummate coons did not do or say anything of note in 2016. At least nothing more noteworthy than what we have all come to expect from them but what’s a coon list without adding them. The marvel is the fact that none of these handkerchief heads cracked the top 10 or even 20 this year.
#tradethemallforacartonofnewports
Coontestant #24 Lesean “Shady” McCoy
If he needs help, he’ll call the cops ~ Shady McCoy on Colin Kapernicks protest
#suckerniggashit
Coontestant#23 Steve Perry
For most of this dudes career in public life and as a “school reformer” he’s flown far under the radar coondar. It makes him one of the more dangerous coons in America, specifically because his end goal is the destruction of the public school system and the teaching profession-particularly those in black communities. One of the few silver linings in Donald Chrump becoming the president is the fact that the insidious and dastardly deeds as they pertain to his work with school reform overtly dovetails with the plans that the new president has for inner city schools and he is rightly starting to be called out for it and it’s getting harder and harder for him to conceal his true motives.
#teamvulture
Coontestant# 22 Lee Daniels
“I wanted white people to feel good about being white people because right now, there’s a lot of hatred going on.”~ Lee Daniels
This dude has been speaking reckless for sometime now. His quizzical reasoning for why he cast a white star is as befuddling as it is bemusing.
We would be remiss not to add this guy to the list. With Obama leaving office and Justice he’s the most powerful black man in the nation. And with those powers he votes lock step with the avowed racists in the US senate. From repealing voter rights and protections to removing the social safety net for the most needy this dude is as “ain’t shit” as they come.
#thespookatthesenatedoor
Coontestants# 20-19 Diamond & Silk
This is what happens when rats and raccoons crossbred. These two Ratcoons better known as Diamond and Silk are the human equivalent of a Fox News merger with BET. If Azelia Banks and Carlton Banks ever had twins Diamond & Silk is who they’d grow up to be like. These hood possums are a viral minstrel show and are unabashed about it.
#lacefrontlosers
Coontestant# 18 Jason Whitlock
Jason Whitlock is another long time coon who has a fairly broad media perch for which he uses to spread his cooned out opines.
Jason Whitlock on Black lives matter:African-Americans are more likely to be struck by lightning than to be killed by police
Jason Whitlock on Colin Kapernicks protest: “This kid was about Instagram models, tattoos, his abs and building up the Colin Kaepernick brand — until the very moment he loses his starting quarterback job, and now he’s out here and he’s ‘Martin Luther Cornrow.’ And he’s got cornrows, he’s Allen Iverson, he’s Angela Davis. I don’t buy it
It’s rather obvious that he hates the black skin that he was born in. It’s unfortunate that he is given such a wide ranging perch on television, radio and print media to misinform the masses while codifying the white supremacist construct.
#willcoonforburgers
Coontestant#17 Justice Clarence Thomas
Now that Justice Scalaia is dancing with the devil until the end of eternity and unable to stick his hand up this clowns ass to play puppet master, he’s a rudderless coon on the bench less able to fuck over the country and black people by extension. He still however is one of the most destructive coons to black progression of all time so his falling out of the top ten has much less to do with him doing less cooning in 2016 and much more to do with the the uptick in competition coonpetition for that number one spot.
#kingofcoons
Coontestant#16 Kanye West
Kanye has been on a collision course with coonery for a while now. And while his fragile mental state is cause for more empathy and understanding than scorn and rebuke we’ed be remiss to omit him from making the top 20 list for 2016. With love of course.
#comebackhomeyezzy
Coontestant# 15 Officer Brentley Vinson
The man on the left is Keith Lamont Scott. Someone who was minding his business reading a book in his car while waiting to pick his kid up from school. The coon on the right is Brently Vinson, the Charlotte officer that murdered him for no reason at all. And while I do think that it’s possible a black man joinging a racist police force such as Charlotte could lead to him becoming a coon, something tells me that Vinson was a coon long before he received his badge. He’s a graduate of Liberty University. What Black man goes there that is not already a coon?
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Coontestant# 14 Sgt. Demetrick Pennie
This coon with a badge just wanted to make his name known as a proud member of the Procyon species of mammal. Why else would he bring forth such a frivolous suit? This is what you call “how to get on Fox news 101”. i should not even be giving him the attention but how can he not make this list? This coon is being used as a pawn in a law suit not only naming Black Lives Matter, but also President Obama, Hillary Clinton, and Al Sharpton. This coon is literally throwing his feces at the wall with hopes that is sticks.
#monkeycoonpigandratallrolledinone
Coontestant# 13 Howard Croft
Howard Croft served as the City of Flints director of public works from 2011 until he was forced to resign in 2015. His position oversaw the flint water distribution system. It was him that brought the recommended changes that had the then city emergency manager Ed Kurtz switch the cities water source to the Flint River. He along with Kurtz has been indicted and is facing up to 20 years. Luckily he has the face of a snitch and all indications are he is doing just that as his previous counsel dropped him for meeting with investigators alone and rumors that the governor Rick Snyder too will soon face indictment. Stay tuned…
#nevertrustaniggathathasapartonthesideofhishead
Coontestant #12 Darnell Earley
Darnell Earley is one of the emergency managers that the governor hand picked to run many of the cities in the state of Michigan. Even before the Flint water crisis that he helped cultivate and cover up he was a certified coon because he was used as a tool to usurp the sovereignty and franchise of the black people of the cities that he was appointed. He basically helped render their votes impotent because no matter who the citizens of Benton Harbor, Flint or Detroit elected, he and the other emergency managers were placed in charge of their city. He eventually replaced Ed Kurtz as city manager of Flint during their ill-fated switch to the Flint river for the cities water supply. Despite knowing that poisons from that river was literally making the citizens of the city sick to death. He too is facing indictment. He even had the audacity to try and stick the cash strapped city of Flint with the bill for his $750 per hour lawyer.
#heneedstobewaterboardedwithflintwater
Coontestant#11 Pastor Mark Burns
This extra mediocre fuck boy is your typical witless and talent-less tool. A coon of his stature normally would not make it so close to the top 10 even in a non-vintage year. He makes it this high on the list for the sheer audaciousness of his cooning ways. After cooning his way into a speaking gig at the GOP convention it all came crashing down when his bio was discovered to have been replete with alternative facts. He stated that he was a member of Kappa Alpha Psi fraternity that was a lie, he said that he was in the Army reserve, and that too was proven to be untrue. His being enrolled in a masters of divinity program also was a figment of his imagination. He was confronted with all of these stretches of the truth on camera in a sit down interview with CNN. It was so bad for the coon that he tried to go off the record mid interview and when that did not work homeboy walked out of the interview leaving the CNN correspondent all by his lonesome in his 400 square foot church. In the end Massa Trump took him off the coon circuit and his ass ain’t been seen since.
#outcoonedhimself
Top 10 coons of 2016
Coontestant# 10 Pastor Darryl Scott
Pastor Darryl Scott is the lead vocalist in the Black Preachers for Trump crew.
In fact Darryl Scott is the Michael to Pastor Burns Tito in so far as what they mean to the BPFT movement.
So far he has not been able to parlay his pulpit cooning into a steady job with the administration so for now he has to settle for being the right hand coon to Donald’s right hand coon.
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Coontestant# 9 Lil Wayne
Wayne actually looks like the physical manifestation of a rat and raccoon encounter during mating season. His music has long been of the minstrel type. However as demeaning and degrading as his music has been over the last couple of decades he managed to make occasional dalliances with the reality faced by many of his fans that made him the mega rap star that he is. That’s why is answers to some very basic questions into his level of black consciousness left so many bemused.
Lil Wayne on Colin Kapernicks protest:
“I’m not into it enough to even give an opinion. Somebody had to tell me why he was doing it. That’s how much I didn’t know what was going on, and I kinda still don’t. Somebody gotta explain to me like, ‘Yo, he kneeling because of Black Lives Matter thing and because’—that whole wave just went by me too fast for me to give an opinion.”
Lil Wayne on racism:
“These 33 years have been nothing but a blessing,” Wayne said on the show. “I have never—never’s a strong word. I have never, never dealt with racism and I’m glad I didn’t have to.” Tunechi added that he didn’t know if being a star made him immune to racism, but he now knows racism does exist despite racism not being his reality, continuing, “I would have to say I thought it was over. I still believe it’s over, but, obviously it isn’t.”
Lil Wayne after black twitter got wind of his coonery:
#boycotthisbullshitmusic
Coontestant# 8 Jim Brown
Jim’s late breaking 2016 coonery caught a lot of people by surprise but I can’t say that I am one of those folks. Jim has a reputation for being down for the historic causes on behalf of the black community but the truth us Jim has always been out for Jim.
This famous photo of Jim Brown and other great black athletes in their prime years during the 1960’s showing their unconditional and public support is something of an urban legend. Jim Brown is rightly credited with putting the group together, but the stated goal of this meeting of the minds has been obfuscated over the years. This meeting of hall of fame minds was the brainchild of boxing promoter Bob Arum. He tasked Jim Brown with gathering the group to convince Muhammad Ali to enlist in the Army so that his ban from boxing would be rescinded and they could all profit from the burgeoning closed circuit pay per view industry. It just so happened that Ali was game enough for all of them and would not hear any of it. In the end these “well meaning” gentlemen & Jim settled for this iconic photo op.
Which brings us to his most recent photo op in the tale end of 2016. The one where Trump and his loyal brown minions sent him on the now familiar walk of shame through the Trump Towers lobby to deliver this barf inducing quip:
“I fell in love with him because he really talks about helping African-American, black people and that’s why I’m here” ~~ Jim Brown on Donald Trump
#fuckjimbrowntoo
# 7 Don King
About the only mantra more annoying than Don Kings “Only in America” chant is Don Trumps “Make America great again” so the natural synergy between the two Dons should surprise no one. What I did find just a little bit surprising is the level of minstrel that Mr.King stooped to while introducing him:
“You’ve got to understand, my black brothers and sisters, they told me, ‘You’ve got to try to emulate and imitate the white man and then you can be successful… So we tried that. They said, ‘If you can get some money, you can do this here.’ I told Michael Jackson, I said if you’re poor, you’re a poor negro – I would use the N-word – but if you’re a rich, you’re a rich negro; if you are intelligent, you’re an intellectual negro; if you’re a dancing and sliding and gliding nigger – I mean negro – you’re a dancing and sliding and gliding negro. So dare not alienate because you cannot assimilate. You know, you’re going to be a negro till you die.”
#onlyinameriKKKa
Coontestant #6 Sherrif David Clarke
Milwaukee sheriff David Clarke is one black man that has never met a shooting of an unarmed black man by a law enforcement officer that he did agree with. David Duke has more genuine love for black people than this afro goatee having nincompoop. In addition to being one of Fox News most prized props for misinformation he oversees as sheriff one of the deadliest jails in the country and for that he has legislators in his state asking that he be removed.
#hanghimbythechin
Coontestant# 5 Shaqcoon O’Neal
Shaq shot up the coon charts in 2016. His penchant for always paying homage to the police and being an honorary sheriff has always been a turn off but not enough to place him so high on the coon list or even on it at all. That was of course until her decided it prudent to give his incoherent and coonish opine on Colin Kapernick’s anthem protest on Fox & Friends of all places…
“To each his own…I don’t really have a say on it, but I would never do that. My father was a military man, and you know, he protected this country. Uncles are in law enforcement, you know, they go out and work hard every day..People like Muhammad Ali and Bill Russell, they were one way their whole career. You can’t show us something, and then go to another just because of certain issues”~ Shaq
Nigga what?!?!
What makes Shaq’s commentary so egregiously coonish is the fact that he’s part of the .001 percent of Black Americans. Unlike most of the coons that routinley grind our gears he’s far from being a mediocre negro. He literally hit the DNA lottery with his god given physique. He has zero reasons to be cooning and even less reasons to be sitting on the couch with the lame cast of Fox & Friends giving an opine on issues that require depth of understanding and nuanced thought. Big duffus has a PHD yet he let three stoogers from Fox News walk him into talking himself out of his black card.
#thebigcoon
Coontestant#4 Charles Barkley
Shaq’s partner in coon has much more experience in the area of catering to the angst ridden ego of white males so his offenses to black people and black culture is far less shocking. For him to out rank so many other certified coons he would however have to coon harder than he did in years past. Never one to back down from a challenge Barkley with the help of TNT put on a classical coon performance.
TNT has a 6 part series airing early in 2017 titled “The Race Card” which is a discussion around the hot-button issues that cause and comprise the strained racial relations in today’s America and they tapped Charles Barkley of all people to host the program. They might as well have named it “TNT Trolls Black America” because that is essentially what happened on the first stop of Coon conductor Charles. The first stop was in Baltimore Maryland and it came on the heels of a justice department report that highlighted systemic abuses of the residents of Baltimore at the hands of Baltimore City police. Charles however did not want to talk about that. He instead chastised the audience for not expressing condolences for 4 officers that were killed earlier in the week in other parts of the country. Needless to say that did not go very well. He ended up having to be ushered out by security because they were big mad.
#chuckcoon
Coontestant # 3 Ben Carson
Dr. Ben Carson is the only coon on the Trump train that was able to engineer for himself a a cabinet position. Being a renowned brain surgeon one would think that naturally he’s be tapped to be the surgeon general. Not in Trumps White House. Carson was instead tapped to head up the department of housing and urban development, something he has next to no clue about. Other than the fact that he’s black and hails from the inner city he is qualified to run HUD in Trumpian thought. Why? Because when they gut the agency render it totally useless they will be able to point to their black token as the cause to shield them from claims of racism.
#coondoctor
Coontestant# 2 Ray Lewis
17 years ago Ray Lewis while partying at the Super Bowl in Atlanta with his boys got into some sort of conflict with two men who were both subsequently stabbed to death. Both of the victims blood made it’s way into Ray’s limo and the all white suit that his bama ass was wearing on that cold January day vanished from the face of the earth. Now I’m not calling Ray Lewis and murderer but that is what he was charged with and there was far more evidence linking him to the murders of Jacinth Baker and Richard Lollar than there was evidence linking OJ Simpson to the murders of Ron Goldman and Nicole Brown. Despite the damning evidence and in the case of his Easter Sunday suit the lack there of Ray was acquitted of all charges. By the court or law and by the court of ubiquitous negro opinion. To most of white America however he was still a thug unworthy of playing in the NFL. So he went from Ray Lewis the typical bad boy from the University of Miami to Creflo Dollar Jr with the extra preachy super annoying disposition. Yet and still most from the Negro delegation even still. That obviously did not ingratiate himself enough with white America because in more recent years he’s incorporated some serious respectability negro politics into his spiel.
He started with making a bunch of lame videos appealing to the youth of Baltimore to behave and not riot in the face of police abuse then slowly but surely went full blown coon on us with several appearances on The Undisputed hosted by fellow coon Jason Whitlock where they formed the greatest black tag team duo since Rocky Johnson and Tony Atlas manned the squared circle. The Colin Kapernick story gave this tag team duo all kinds of coon life but that was just a warm up for Ray Ray. He too took the infamous walk of shame photo op at Trump Towers. But unlike Kanye, Jim Brown and Steve Harvey Ray looked like he was quite conformable in that setting.
#rayraythemurdererliarandcoon
Coon of the Year: Omarosa
This she devil right here is the most dangerous and despicable black woman in America–the world even. She’s Kelly-Ann Conway with melanin and a functioning brain. She’s #blackgirlrocks minus a conscious.
This cold calculating shrew is Donald Trumps bottom bitch and director of African-American coon outreach for his administration. She’s the cunning concubine of the slave master… .
…but don’t mistake her for Ernestine.
She’s much closer to the type of concubine that you’d find on the Candy land Plantation. You know the type that can’t live without master.
The truly unfortunate thing about her is the fact that she is smart, highly ambitious and talented. She knows more than the average coon and even more than the man that pays her a hansom ransom to corral and create more coons. She’s gonna make coons out of a lot of men these next four years. I pray that in the next few years she does not morph into some sort of role model for the young black, melaninated and impressionable young girls coming up. It’s bad enough that we have an avalanche of black men bending over backwards and forwards to appease the white male supremacist ethos that infects America. The last thing we need is a role model for young black girls to think it prudent to do the same. So while there’s no denying her drive and black girl magic, the fact that she uses her powers for evil purposes we’re going to have to shelve celebrating her achievements during the month of February.
The NBA trade deadline came and left last week with little to no hoopla, fanfare, or late breaking news of any kind of three team swap changing the predictable balance of power in either conference. It’s been something of a downer for us fans of the game that like just a little bit of drama to go with our hoops. However, in lieu of Kevin Love not becoming a Celtic, Laker or Clipper; despite Carmelo having a no trade clause in his contract and irrespective of the fact that Dwight Howard & James Harden are married at the hip for at least the remainder of the season there still were some really block busting trades consummated at the 11th hour of last weeks NBA’s trade deadline. The NBA NRA (National Racial Association) quietly announced four huge trades.
The Fine Print
The NBA collective bargaining agreement states that in every trade the two parties being traded must be within 125% of each other salary wise. Since the NRA does not track the salaries of those on the trading block the formula that they use to remain in compliance with the collective bargaining agreement are the professions (or lack there of) of their trade prospects. So for an example if I was the sole arbiter of what was and was not a fair trade I would gladly trade Dr. Ben Carson for the Puppy Monkey Baby. Only problem with that is the fact that Dr. Ben Carson is a world renowned neurosurgeon and the Puppy Monkey baby a prop from a Super Bowl commercial. The Puppy Monkey Baby maybe a bit more cogent and capable of carrying on an adult conversation but it’s hardly enough to compete with a guy that has on his resume the separation of Siamese twins conjoined by the noggin-even if that guy is a certified loon. So it goes without saying that such a trade would not be approved by the Association. So much to the chagrin of the Black delegation Dr. Carson will remain a part of the black community for the foreseeable future. The good news for the black delegation however is they did find trading partners for four other blacks that have long been considered to overstayed their welcome in the community and in need of having their respective black cards revoked. I’m certain that most would agree with the following deals that were most recently agreed upon before the trade deadline.
NRA Trade Number One: Stacy Dash for Gary Owens
You don’t have to be the GM of the Lakers or Celtics or be the next coming of Jerry West for this deal to have been your brain child. This particular trade comes straight out of No Brainerville. Two B-C rated actors that are already comfortable in the others skin (figuratively and literally) and seamlessly able to traverse cultures and code switch their way right up into the family. Stacy Dash went from being a video vixen extraordinaire serving as eye candy to inner city generation X’ers with hip-hop proclivities to Fox News’s resident coonologist and eye candy for angry white ammo-sexual baby boomers. She’s been on the trading block since at least 2012at least 2012. Her decision to resurrect her faint relevance as one of the resident Fox News Coontributors specifically hired to assuage the guilt and placate the fragile feelings of the Networks Salty white Tear dripping viewership. Just did not sit well with the home team. The straw that broke the camels back though was her latest viral diatribe after being invited on the Fox & Freinds to opine on the #oscarssowhite controversy
STEVE DOOCY: What do you think about this?
STACEY DASH: I think it’s ludicrous.
STEVE DOOCY: Why??
STACEY DASH: We have to make up our minds. Either we want to have segregation or integration. And if we don’t want segregation, then we need to get rid of channels like BET and the BET Awards and the Image Awards where you’re only awarded if you’re black. If it were the other way around, we would be up in arms. It’s a double standard.
STEVE DOOCY (HOST): So you say there shouldn’t be a BET channel?
DASH: No, I don’t think so. No. Just like there shouldn’t be a Black History Month. You know? We’re Americans. Period. That’s it.
DOOCY: Are you saying there shouldn’t be a Black History Month because there isn’t a white history month?
DASH: Exactly. Exactly.
She could not be any more clearer about want g out off of Team Blackness with that mindless missive. Not since Latrell Spreewell choked PJ Carlisimo in practice way back in 1997 has a player been so undisguised about wanting to be traded.
For Gary’s part he celebrated being traded to the black community just as you would expect a black person to do. He took to the Gram…
Welcome to the fam G!
NRA Trade Number Two:Jason Whitlock for Dave Zirin
With such a huge dearth in black journalism and the black perspective being bantered in the ether to compete with and combat mainstream media bias and mind manipulation it’s a shame that we have to put one of the more successful and widely read and regarded black sports writers on the market. But when the opinions you posit present more poison to the problematic nature of post Fairness Doctrine specious and pernicious journalism as opposed to being an elixir to such a societal malady then you really have worn out your welcome and need to cease being a Journalist in Black Face. We are better off with you being on another team because a black face postulating white supremacist thoughts and codifying the inexplicable angst of a large swath of AmeriKKKa is actually worse than it is coming from your typical AM side of the dial angry white talk show host. . As a sports writer Jason Whitlock has been largely able to fly under the radar as it pertains to offering an opinion on the germane issues of the day. But on those rare occasions that he’s asked or tasked with taking on issues of equality, intersectionality, and/or oppression nine times out of ten he’s going to offer a convoluted quip that Ted Nugent would be proud to re-tweet.
Dave Zirin on the other hand has long used his pen as a sword for social justice and equality. Not just for black people but all oppressed, neglected and disaffected people around the globe. He’s penned several books that delve deep into the heart of the pertinent issues of the day from a high minded and holistic perspective. The John Carlos Story and Game Over are just two of the many books that he’s authored that I recommend as a great reads…
More recently these two contemporary sports writers had the prime opportunity to opine on the same issue tackling intersectionality in a sports related kind of way and their opinions could not have been any more divergent. By now everyone is aware of Beyonce’s Super Bowl Performance where homage was paid to The Black Panther Party, victims of police brutality and mis-conduct as well as the LGBT community. The overall message was one that was about love and they went to great lengths to say as much.
But…
…that obviously was not universally interpreted and understood and our latest trading partners could not have crystallized any better how differently the message in the music of the Super Bowl Half-Time show has been conveyed.
Jason Whitlock on Beyonce’s performance:
Beyonce, why are you bringing this rebellion to a sporting event? This is an event that all of America comes together, 100 million people around America and throw Super Bowl parties, we come together across economic and racial lines and it’s all just one good time and the players … represent all these great things in America. … Probably not appropriate for the Super Bowl. It’s just not that type of event.
If you want to send a message, if you want to pander to social media and Twitter, if you want to extend your brand by involving yourself in controversy, [then] what Beyonce did was absolutely brilliant. You listen to the song’s lyrics, there’s no real rebellion in it. None.
“So I can see how the NFL got fooled by this. They listened to the song, and there’s nothing to it. There’s no tribute to the Black Panther party or any real shots at Hurricane Katrina or anything like that in the actual lyrics of the song. You have to watch the video to get the rebellion. She didn’t release the video until the day before the Super Bowl. So I could see how the NFL got caught off-guard.
When you tie the whole thing together, Beyonce snuck in some subversiveness that has put her in the center of controversy and has enhance her and Jay-Z’s brand. They had been getting beaten up in social media by the Black Lives Matter movement, that ‘You don’t support us,’ ‘You’re not down with this movement,’ blah blah blah . . . Beyonce pulls off this publicity stunt and now she’s all good with the social-media crowd and the people involved with Black Lives Matters.
“It’s all just a game and a fun marketing tool for Beyonce. They’ll make more money out of this and enhance their brand. But they’ve also set off some divisiveness in America, and that’s what’s disappointing to me.” ~ Jason Whitlock
One thing we know for sure the homie Jason Whitlock has no qualms about telling us how he really feels. On the flipside neither does Dave Zirin as he penned a piece entitled In Defense of Beyonces Black Panther Tribute At the Super Bowl for The Nation. In it he goes on to say:
A whole hell of a lot of people on Fox News and in the right-wing sewers of the Internet have lost their damn minds. I am not going to link to the statements, ranging from the historically ignorant to the unabashedly racist, because that’s their game. But I will say that if you are comparing the Black Panthers to the KKK, like one police sergeant did on Facebook, you are only proving that the extent of your historical knowledge is what some asshole said on Twitter. It’s like “comparing Adolf Hitler to Richard Pryor because they both had mustaches.”
Yet despite the right-wing noise, Beyoncé’s performance has created space for a real conversation about the Black Panthers, beyond the caricature. It is a chance to get people to see the recent Stanley Nelson PBS documentaryVanguard of the Revolution or read The Black Panthers Speak or Seize The Time or any number of books. Just to give one example, the most illustrative, politically textured Panther memoir in my humble opinion is My People Are Rising by Seattle Black Panther Party founder Aaron Dixon. When Dixon’s book was released in 2012, I pushed people to read it on social media and among friends and was met with a tepid response. After Beyoncé’s performance, I went back and recommended it again. The reaction was off the chain.
Being in the Bay Area this week has also opened my eyes to another part of what made Beyoncé’s halftime performance matter. There are people here who have dedicated their lives to fighting police brutality—most recently in the form of the killing of Mario Woods—and for the rights of the homeless to not be treated like collateral damage of gentrification. They wanted the Super Bowl to be an opportunity to spotlight these issues for the country. Instead, they were met with a smothering police presence, indifferent media, and an NFL occupation that made swaths of their city resemble the Green Zone in Iraq. ~ Dave Zirin
It’s pretty clear from reading the thoughts of these two sports journalist that hearing more of the latter and less (a whole lot less) of the former would be sort of a good thing.
NRA Trade Number Three:Darnell Earley for Tim Wise
Most people don’t know who Darnell Earley is but I’m certain that they know his work. Darnell Earley is the Emergency City Manager that was put in place by Governor Rick Snyder to run the city of Flint. There’s really not much else to say about this son of a bitch ass coon. He played a major part in poisoning the drinking water of an entire city full of lower middle class, poor black, brown and white people. He was then promoted to head the Detroit Public Schools to put the final nails on that coffin before his previous dastardly deeds came back to haunt him and he was forced to resign due to the mess that he co-created in Flint. He was essentially a black face hired to push a white supremacist agenda and he did a stellar job at it.
Tim Wise on the other hand has been one of the more formidable and unabashed white voices against racism and prejudice in American society for the last 10 years. He’s nothing short of an ally in the fight against white supremacy so this one again was pretty much a no brainer.
NRA Trade number four:The Congressional Black Caucus for the Congressional Progressive Caucus
The CBC’s recent endorsement of Hillary for the democratic nomination over the much more progressive (and trustworthy) Bernie Sanders was rather disappointing. It however was not enough of a reason to put the CBC who has long been known as the conscience of the Congress on the trading block . The unconscionable and inexplicable reasons that the leadership gave for their endorsement is actually why they have been offered up for the kinder, gentler and much more socially aware Congressional Progressive Caucus. It’s hard to begrudge Congressmen John Lewis and Congressman James Clyburn for endorsing a person who has helped their PERSONAL ambitions in maintaining their congressional seats by allowing some of the unmitigated and untraceable big money that flows through their coffers to trickle into their own respective campaign war chests. However when they conflate someone being able to help them personally with actually doing the same for the black community, the masses the have supported them for the last 40 years have every right to take umbrage with their reckless word choice on their already questionable endorsement.
Now don’t get me wrong. Someone simply doing what was right in 1963 or whatever year it was that Bernie Sanders marched for equality or was arrested at a sit in does not automatically earn the black vote in 2016. However dismissing his involvement in the Civil Rights movement because you are supporting someone was on the opposite end of the historical and ongoing fight for justice is rather dubious.Take for instance John Lewis’s response to a reporter asking him about Bernie Sanders well documented dalliance with the Civil Rights movement during his college years:
Well, to be very frank, I’m going to cut you off, but I never saw him, I never met him. I’m a chairman of the Student Nonviolent Coordinating Committee for three years, from 1963 to 1966. I was involved in the sit-ins, the freedom rides, the March on Washington, the march from Selma to Montgomery, and directed their voter education project for six years. But I met Hillary Clinton. I met President Clinton.”~ Congressman John Lewis
Lets parse that statement real quick. He is implying one of two things both of which are nonsensical.
A: he’s either implying that he knew Hillary and Bill from being supporters of Civil Rights some 50 years ago.
OR
He’s implying that he’s never in his life met Bernie Sanders. Both statements are patently false. His statement was a conflation of facts. When you have to resort to that kind of double speak to justify endorsing a person then you deserve all the back lash that comes your way (as it did) to force you to eat your errant word play (which he did). Quite naturally he took a lot of criticism from corners of the political and social movement world that are in most cases reticent when it comes to critiquing elders from the civil rights time period. Predictably he was compelled to walk back his aggressive response to the innocuous query:
I was responding to a reporter’s question who asked me to assess Sen. Sanders’ civil rights record. I said that when I was leading and was at the center of pivotal actions within the Civil Rights Movement, I did not meet Sen. Bernie Sanders at any time. The fact that I did not meet him in the movement does not mean I doubted that Sen. Sanders participated in the Civil Rights Movement, neither was I attempting to disparage his activism. Thousands sacrificed in the 1960s whose names we will never know, and I have always given honor to their contribution…If you take a look at a transcript of my statement, you will find I did not say that I met Hillary and Bill Clinton when I was chairman of SNCC in the 1960s. My point was that when I was doing the work of civil rights, led the Voter Education Project and organized voter registration in the South in the 1970s, I did cross paths with Hillary and Bill Clinton in the field. They were working in politics, and Bill Clinton became attorney general of Arkansas in the 1970s as well. That began a relationship with them that has lasted until today~ John Lewis (mea culpa)
The double speak did not end there. Both he and congressman Clyburn both denounced the idea of free college. They said that such a thing sends the wrong message. Here are two men particularly in the case of John Lewis that purport to carry the torch of Dr. Martin Luther King and his fight for economic equality sounding like Paul Ryan when it comes to evening the playing field in a most fundamental way. It was only 8 years ago that Clyburn was denouncing the race baiting of Bill and Hillary in their nomination fight against Obama. Now he can’t stop extolling her virtues. Collegiality over conviction is what that amounts to. It’s certainly not egregious enough of an offense for an individual trade so both John Lewis, James Clyburn and every other member of the CBC (not named Mia Love or Tim Scott) are all on Team Blackness for life but as an organization in congress boasting the teams color and logo it’s time that we trade them in for a more forward leaning body in the House and Senate. Even before the CBC bet their black card on Hillary Clinton they have been slowly but surely losing their way and subsequently the right to be called the Conscience of the Congress. Just to illustrate a few of their more incorrigible misdeeds as a caucus the following list serves as exhibit A.
In 2014 Rep Alan Grayson (of the Congressional Progressive Caucus) introduced a Bill to put an end to the Pentagon siphoning their military grade weapons and equipment off to America’s already overzealous police forces. The measure failed and only 7 of 41 members of the CBC voted to for it.
They have in increasing numbers started to capitulate to the Wall Streets demands on regulating their blood sucking hood predators like Pay Day Loan and Rent-to-Own companies
In 2008 the CBC Foundation which had raised over $55 million dollars from 2004-2008 spent more on a lavish banquet for ($700,000) than they did in scholarships that they awarded.
Again. As individuals the CBC members have little to worry about as far as being traded but as a collective the Black Delegation can do much better so…
2015 was another coontastic year full of black folks doing their latest and greatest “Shuck & Jive” routine to remain in the good graces of mainstream conservative white America. I could go on and on for days about the kind of self loathing self centered and selfish motivations that go into making certain black men and women suspend all manners of pride and common logic while spewing the most embarrassing rhetoric for the sole purpose of ingratiating themselves with the kind of dying breed of thought propagated on Fox news, but I don’t have all day and since we have already said farewell to 2015 I’m going to cut to the chase and share my top 10 Coons of the last 365 day cycle…
#10 Raven Symone
~ Now Raven is probably one of the more innocuous additions to this list because unlike the coons that will follow her she has not outwardly advocated for or co-signed the murder of black people, stumped for Trump or any of the more outlandish things that her brothers and sisters in coondumb are guilty of.
With that being said Raven is a black woman that has a national media platform and while The View to most serious people may be superficial day time programming in nature, Ravens words, thoughts and opinions reverberate and have wide spread resonance. With such a dearth in black voices in media she has a responsibility (whether she accepts this or not) to represent the overall interest of African-Americans as they portend to social uplift and all manners of equality. While Raven is far from the most egregious on air offender of black sensibilities I would be remiss not to coon-crown her for openly embracing discriminating against people with ethnic or as she puts it “ghetto sounding” names.
She received enough backlash for her banal brain musing that she did the unthinkable–at least for a coon. She actually apologized to black people and retracted her statement. And while there are other examples this year of her cooning we will not belabor the point because again, unlike the coons on the list that will follow her there is some hope. Let’s pray that she understands the error of her ways and does not make next year’s list.
#9 Jonathan Gentry
~ Now most don’t know this “Soul Glo” Negro. Hell, I barley know who he is. I just happened to pass one of his coonified productions on Facebook and could not help but to opine on the kind of chicanery chicoonery that he had on display. Of course the mostly all white people on his page that pats him on his greasy ass head for his Uncle Tom soliloquies rushed to defend their lawn jockey. My retort to his rabidly racist followers ended up getting me a 30 day ban from Facebook…
…so needless to say my number 9 selection was more personal in nature. Though the Coon-job that he’s pulling off is still worthy of mention.
#8 Rod Wheeler
~ Rod Wheeler is another lesser known coon (unless you are a Fox Newsbot) who deserves some recognition for his incessant coonery and failing of black people in media. The following clip speaks for itself. As a black man and former police officer he has totally abdicated his responsibilities to the community by co-signing the deaths of the innocent victims of racist policing in America. His answer to how to stop police killings of unarmed black people is to get out of their way and let them do their jobs. Oh and that there needs to be a change at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue. He really said that…
#7 Kevin Jackson
~ Kevin Jackson is one of the better known hired guns (against black progress) of Fox News. He makes a living being the attack dog for white supremacy on air. No matter how egregious the offense to black people are he will always side with whatever Sean Hannity’s opinion is. He is to Sean Hannity what Justice Clarence Thomas is to Justice Antoion Scalaia–a lap dog.
His answer about what ails black America will always default to liberal policies, the Democratic party and Al Sharpton & Jesse Jackson. No matter what the specific topic at hand is. I think we all know a coon or two like this guy.
#6 Diamond & Silk
~ Now these two coonettes were plucked from under the same rock of obscurity that the rest of Donald Trumps dangerously uneducated following crawled from under. The two of these women together can be described as nothing short of a minstrel act. The kind of cooning that they have on display would normally grant them a higher ranking but as I said earlier–2015 was quite the coontastic year and these birds have little to no influence on even the most guile among us so all this performance really amounts to is a modern day Amos and Andy skit.
Two extra mediocre ghetto birds with lace front weaves endorsing Donald Trump and his Mein Kampf style of politics amounts to being just a misdomeaner in comparison to the Trump endorsements coondorsements to follow…
#5 The Black Preachers that endorsed Trump
…because after all not even the average ghetto bird will follow these ghetto birds to the polls to vote for him. The Diamond and Silk coon combo at the end of the day will garner minimal (if any) black voters for Trump. Their purpose more than anything is to assuage white racist guilt and to allow Trump to keep on saying “The Blacks love me”. These black preachers stumping for Trump is a much more nefarious act of treason to the community because these men are literally paid to lead flocks of black people and they are knowingly leading their flock to vote for a man that overtly disdains them and is literally promising to increase their misery index. No matter what these men and women have done in their respective ministries in the past to uplift the community (if they’ve done that at all) they will now and forevermore be remembered for selling out the black and progressive cause for Donald Trumps chump change. They have reached the point of no return and are coons for life–the same holds true for their respective congregants. So yes, if you still sit in any of these house niggers pew on Sunday, you too are a coon for life.
Then there was this…
#4 Omorosa
Omorosa was the actual ring leader of the Black Preachers for Trump Coon Brigade. She’s higher on the list and singled out because in addition to being an ordained minister she’s a very accomplished woman and has enough merit and stripes that such cooning on her part for Donald Trump is wholly unnecessary. Her literally whoring for one of the most overtly racist men to run for president since Barry Goldwater should forever relegate her to being nothing more than a coon, bed wench, mammy (insert Uncle Tom pejorative of choice).
#3 Ben Carson
~Mr. Gifted Hands has anything but a gifted mind. His meteoric yet ephemeral rise to the top of the GOP presidential polls mirrors that of Herman Cains rise (and fall) four years ago. By now it’s pretty obvious that both men are the ultimate tokens of the Grand Ole Party’s fledgling nomination process whereby they serve as the ultimate cover for the most ignorant and bigoted voters (and pollsters that corral them) in the nation and allow them to opine in the most mind numbing racist ways only to claim that they are not racist because they are voting for a buffoon named Ben. Even the dolts that claim to be supporting this useful idiot know that come Super Tuesday his name will be no where near a ballot.
Ben Carson is the Rain Man of brain surgery–politics not so much. In the school of medicine the dude is genius extraordinaire. In the school of politics, common sense and all things unrelated to cutting open the medulla oblongata, he’s arrested in his development and suffering from an undiagnosed case of Asperger’s (no offense to anyone with a child on the autism spectrum). He’s more socially awkward, inept and out of place on the national political stage than a 3rd grader at the opera. The good news is that by this time next election cycle he will be the same faint and distant memory (and footnote in history) that Herman Cain is today because his useful idiocy will have long expired. Enjoy Corky while you can.
#2 Sheriff David Clarke
Sheriff David the Coon Clarke has never met a police shooting of an unarmed black person that he did not agree with or co-sign as great police work. His rise to notoriety (mostly via Fox and CNN) coincides with and is in direct correlation to the level of outrage generated by the myriad murders by police caught on tape. He’s paraded around the networks to basically explain away racist police policies and abuse of authority. This makes him one of the most dangerous men (for blacks) on television.
And oh yeah, his answer to what ails the black community is single black women.
#1 Reverend Jesse Lee Peterson
Allow me to drop this verbatim right here (Rev. Jesse Lee Patterson on the Black Lives Matter Movement)
“It’s a hate group, they’re no different than the skinheads or the KKK. They are people who have never been taught to love. From the beginning of their lives they were taught to hate, blame and become victims. They’re just spending a lifetime blaming white Americans, blaming slavery for their lack of good parents in the homes and their lack of love… If Black Lives Matter was a white radical group, doing exactly what these black people are doing, they would be shut down. America would not allow that to happen…white Americans feel helpless and they have fear and they allow black lives matter, and other groups, to destroy our country…I’ve done a lot of work in the prisons and jails, and juvenile detention centers over the years. They have taught, and are teaching black youth, both male and female now, that Christianity is the white man’s religion and that Islam is the black man’s religion…At one point, I was a liberal Democrat, and I had the same anger as Black Lives Matter have because my father wasn’t there for me. Instead of people helping me to forgive him, they told me it was white racism, so I had to same hatred for white people…But I went to God and asked him to show me what was wrong, he allowed me to see it was that anger that starts in the home.
Uncle Ruckus could not have said that any better (from the purview of a coon of course). And if that is not enough to justify his top billing as Coon of the year the following clip should cement his standing
When Sean Hannity has to tell you to dial back the coonery–you have officially earned the title Coon of the Year.
3. A racist term that whites used to disparage and humiliate blacks
4.A modern day term ascribed to black people who purposely and overtly disrespect other black people (and black culture) for the express purpose of ingratiating themselves with white conservatives for monetary gain, societal perks or simple pats on the head.
5.Black people who affirm, uphold, support or in anyway agree with the white supremacist construct in America and abroad
example: Steve Harvey (honorable mention) is channeling his inner coon by offering up the black youth that his organization mentors as pawns in Paula Deens public relations re-branding scheme.
Now calling a black man a coon is highly offensive. It’s damn near fighting words. So in the interest of fairness and intellectual honesty all of the forthcoming nominees for the 2014 Captain Coon crown will be accompanied by at least one full context verbatim so that they can convey in their own words how and why they made it to the top ten percentile of such a dubious category. Without further ado I present to you the top ten coons of today (from least to greatest).
10. Don Lemon
Now if you compare Don Lemon to some of the coons that will follow him on this list you will find that his slights to the African-American community at the behest of ingratiation with the dominant Caucasian population is rather innocuous. In fact compared to some of Don Lemon’s fellow Coon Conductor nominees he’s H Rap Brown. Although Don’s offenses towards the culture are not as egregious, constant or overt as most that will make this list, as a black man with a national media profile and platform he too often is guilty of lazy thinking and political expediency when discussing matters germane to the interest and survival of African-Americans.
Bill O’Reilly famously went on a rant berating black culture with the express purpose of changing the national dialogue from racial profiling, unequal protection under the law for blacks and Zimmerman getting away with murdering Trayvon Martin to black people being cultural pariahs.
Don responded to this ridiculously racist rant by saying “He’s got a point. In fact, he’s got more than a point. In my estimation, he doesn’t go far enough.”
Even though he knew this was the aim all along (to change the conversation) he helped Bill O’Reilly do it and then had teh audacity to have an issue with those that took umbrage to his coonsign.
9. Stephen A Smith
Like Don Lemon the level of coonery that Stephen A Smith displays on a daily basis pales in comparison to the coonery practiced by the rest of this list but his coon credentials are far too authentic to ignore. Mr. Smith got himself in deep hot water with many in the black community for his co-sign and subsequent doubling down of Marc Cubans bigoted comments. Many were shocked but I was not. Stephen A Smith boarded the coon train way back in 2009 while making a cameo appearance on conservative talk show hosts Mark Levin’s radio show.
In a not so clever set up Mark Levin lobbed a soft ball question about the new black president and the job that he was doing to Stephen A Smith and in classic coon conditioning Mr.Smith hit it out of the park for a grand coon home run. Now criticizing the first black president does not in and of itself make one a coon–there’s plenty of legitimate things to criticize this president about. However criticizing the first black president for doing the right thing and using half baked conservative talking points makes you a certified coon.
Mark Levin: “What do you make of what’s going on today, with all of the government push and all racism charges and the rest of that stuff?”
Stephen A Smith: Well I’m disturbed to be quite honest with you… I’m very very disturbed. You know as an African American growing up in the streets of New York City I understand what poverty is all about… I understand what trials and tribulations mean but at the same time I’m looking at what we are witnessing from our president, a man I voted for, a man that I was proud to vote for at the time simply because from a historical perspective what he represented and then I’m looking at what I consider to be a government take over.And I’m quite alarmed and I don’t think he campaigned on it. I know that his record was radical. I listen to Sean Hannity a lot and Sean makes it a point to say that every day but I certainly did not expect us to own 80 percent of AIG, I did not expect us to own part of the automobile industry…It’s one thing to put forth a 787 billion dollar stimulus package, but to drop on top of that a 410 billion omnibus package, a 3.6 trillion budget, a Cap and Trade bill and then to come with a universal healthcare that ultimately lends toward a government take over of the healthcare system. I did not have to listen to Mark Levin, or Sean Hannity or Rush Limbaugh to recognize that this is something that should make all of us extremely uncomfortable because as a young black man growing up in the streets of New York City, no matter what you say about so many of the critics that were perceived as leaders within the community– people may have advocated for government intervention in terms of supervising things and making sure that we were all operating under a fair and equitable system but I don’t recall anybody–and I mean anybody that has ever walked into the black community and advocated a government take over of anything. It’s about handling your own business, grabbing yourself by your own bootstrap and lifting yourself up. We may all need assistance but a take over is an entirely different situation all together. I’m extremely uncomfortable with this and even more uncomfortable with the fact that race has become a part of the discussion. We all know racism exists to some degree but to act as it is as prevalent as it was years and decades ago is completely untrue and it serves to divide this nation which I thing is a catastrophic thing.
Mark Levin: Are you running for president because I’d vote for you!
It almost seems like he should be higher on the list huh?
8. Michael Steele
When the conservative clarion call went out for a black face to provide cover for the rampant racism that the Tea Party and the rest of the GOP establishment was about to unleash on America, Michael Steele was the loudest and proudest voice to step to the plate. Micheal Steele lobbied , ran ,shucked jived and cooned for the job of chairman of the Republican National Committee. He narrowly beat out another coon (Ken Blackwell)for the job. He beat Ken Coon Blackwell largely on the promise that he would be able to deliver the hip-hop vote to the GOP (he really said that). His exact words were that “the GOP needs a hip-hop make-over”. It became the biggest running joke of his short tenure as RNC chair. He was heavily lampooned for it…
…and even the president got in on the act.
And just like Coon Steele can’t tell the difference between laughing with folks or when folks are laughing at him. But his true coon showed when sat in the hot seat with none other than coon number 10 (Don Lemon) and unwittingly revealed what most observers already knew–that him being the first black chairman of the RNC was a direct response to the country electing it’s first black president. What’s even more astounding is the fact that he believed at the time that they were on equal footing.
At the end of the day, and moreover at the end of Steels’s very short stint as a leader of the fledgling republican party his appointment was a failure–For both the party and himself. The GOP still has a black problem and Micheal Steele lost pretty much all of his political stock and capital. It’s so bad for that guy that he can’t even get a job working for the defacto communications arm of the GOP (Fox News). Instead he has to settle for being the conservative whipping boy on left leaning cable news outlets.
7. Herman Cain
I’ve long been of the belief that conservative blacks (aka coons) were talent-less, witless, slow thinking extra mediocre individuals and no person in recent memory embodied that caricature as fittingly as Herman Cain did when his black face and calcified mind briefly became the front runner in the 2012 GOP primary race. His reign at the top of the loser leader board was ephemeral but the coontastic memories that he gave the world while leading in GOP nominees for that brief stint are priceless…
…from his penchant for pinching white women’s asses unsolicited to his viral classic brain freeze the dude was well worth the price of admission to this minstrel act. He is certainly one of the more entertaining coons to make the list.
6. Stacy Dash
Stacy resurrected her name from obscurity during the 2012 elections by taking to Twitter of all places to declare her support of the almost human Mitt Romney. In predictable fashion the Twitter back lash from Black Twitter was fast and furious. Months later she ends up getting a job as a Fox News contributor. Pretty clever for a clueless chick.
From clueless to cooning. Only in Merica!
5. Rev Jesse Lee Patterson
No caption needed…
4. Allan West
The quote in the meme says it all. If that’s not enough to convince you of this clowns coonery I’m just gonna drop this here for your enjoyment
3. Larry Elder
Like Allen West Larry Allen’s internal angst as it pertains to the black race that he was so unfortunately born into comes from a very deep place. It’s almost like he’s made at black people because he’s black. He unlike even Allen West who was able to parlay his forced military retirement into a one term congressional appointment has no discernible skill set or even end goal. He’s just cooning for the sake of being a coon. And a pretty damn angry one at that.
Now you know you cooning on another level when regular white folks–not even particularly altruistic ones are calling you out and questioning your absurd worldview.
2. Dr. Ben Carson
Dr. Carson is one of the more unfortunate additions to this list. Blessed with gifted hands but saddled with a graceless mind. Dr. Carson is a classic example of book smarts not transferring to other areas of personal endeavor. This high ranking coon actually said before a white conservative audience that the Affordable Care Act was the worst thing since slavery.
1. Clarence Thomas
This King Coon is perhaps the most insidious black force to ever oppose black people n America. His detriment to the African-American collective quest for equality is as unrivaled as it is unforgivable.
Uncle Thomas’s hit job on black america started long before George Bush Sr. tapped him to replace Thurgood Marshall on the Supreme Court Ronald Reagan tapped him to Equal Employment Opportunity Commission (EEOC) where he purposely buried claims to prevent blacks and other minorities from seeking redress from employment discrimination.
Now Justice Clarence Thomas in addition to being known as an Uncle Tom purest is know to be deftly silent on and off of the bench. It’s hard to get a succinct, in context verbatim from him to prove his coonhood so instead I will simply list his great contributions to white supremacy and towards raising the misery index for black Americans by way of his voting decision making on the bench.
Clarence Thomas’s on Civil Rights
Affirmative action forever discounts black achievements. (Oct 2007)
Analyzed and advocated unpopular positions on race. (Oct 2007)
Black problems should be solved by blacks. (Oct 2007)
Preferential policies should apply to disadvantaged whites. (Oct 2007)
Affirmative action has stigmatizing effects. (Oct 2007)
Questions “adverse impact”: blacks can catch up with whites. (Oct 2007)
Black problems should be solved by blacks. (Oct 2007)
Improve black lives, consistent with conservative values. (Oct 2007)
Censure Bob Jones University for interracial dating ban. (Oct 2007)
EEOC had difficulty enforcing equal opportunity laws. (Oct 2007)
Coloradans entitled to be hostile toward homosexual conduct. (Aug 2005)
Don’t recognize GLBT as a constitutionally-protected class. (Dec 2003)
Limit employer liability for sexual harassment by employees. (Jun 1998)
Employee must prove negligence to sue city for harassment. (Jun 1998)
Tension between affirmative help and undermining dignity. (Sep 1991)
Reaching out to minorities is OK; but no quotas. (Sep 1991)
Supports scholarships & internships for minorities & women. (Sep 1991)
Sodomy laws are uncommonly silly but states can enforce them. (Jun 2003)
Sociological analysis insufficient to prove gender bias. (Jun 2011)
State laws should not protect gay rights. (May 1996)
Hate crimes must be separate crimes, not just for sentencing. (Jun 2000)
Miranda rights can be overruled by Congress. (Jun 2000)
Boy Scouts may exclude gay scoutmasters. (Jun 2000)
This truncated list does not even contain his most insidious decision to join justices Roberts, Scalia, Alito and Kennedy to roll back the key provisions in the 1965 voting rights act making it harder for blacks to vote and easier for racist states to deny blacks and other minorities access to the polls. Unlike the rest of the loud mouth coons that made this list Uncle Thomas puts his money where his mouth is. as a matter of fact he rarely uses his mouth. He’s been a silent assassin when it comes to killing the hopes and dreams of black America.
Congratulations Uncle Thomas! You are the 2014 Coon Conductor.
The Angry Black Rant 