5 Reasons why we should bury the term GOAT along with the GOAT (Muhammad Ali)

As we say  goodbye to the greatest for good we should also say goodbye for good to the term GOAT (save for conversations about Ali). Muhammad Ali embodied the term and it’s less than respectful to his legacy to bestow such a hollowed moniker on any other athlete or entertainer–especially those who have done little outside of their master craft to measure up to what the champ did outside of his day job. So in honor of the GOAT’s passing here are five (of many) reasons why no one should ever be refereed to as the greatest of all time ever again…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

1. He created the term

I shook up the world

On February 25, 1964 after the artist formally known as Cassius Clay stopped the heavily favored Sonny Liston in seven rounds he took to ring center and proclaimed that he was the greatest and that he shook up the world. Little did anyone know that this young brash 22 year old was not just smack talking and would go on to embody both the term “I Am the greatest” and the act of shaking up a world in need of shaking. Ali through the years had trials and tribulations that put to test his greatness and at every turn he would remind friend and foe alike that he was indeed the greatest of all time. You will be hard pressed to find an utterance of that  verbatim prior to Ali saying so. Therefore he’s the standard bearer of what the GOAT should look, sound and act like.

2. His convictions were not compromised by public opinion, monetary gain or even peer pressure from his contemporaries

african-american-athletes-at-news-conference-af400c2cb31b07a9

Muhammad Ali’s refusal to be drafted into the Army during the Vietnam war and the revocation of his title for it is well chronicled. One of the more poignant photos from that period of his life is the one where he is surrounded by some of his contemporary greats including Bill Russell, Jim Brown and Lew Alcinder. The misconception is that they were there to support Ali and his defiant stance against the war. The truth is they were actually there to do the opposite. The private meeting was to convince him to enlist and to assure him that he would not be going to war but instead would serve as an ambassador to it and a morale booster to the troops in much the same way that Joe Louis was used during World War II.  Ali who was far less educated than all of the men in attendance  (in a formal sense) had a rebuttal for each and every point they brought up. He went on an almost two hour filibuster going into great detail why he would not be supporting the Vietnam war or enlisting.  He won over the well meaning yet naive greats and forced them to reexamine their tacit support of the war. So much so that Lew Alcindor followed the path of Cassius Clay and retired his slave name a couple years later.

3. Ali Spoke truth to power instead of seceding to the powers that be.

Muhammad speaks truth to power

There has never been an athlete before or since Muhammad Ali that has had the courage to speak truth to power. He did not shrink, bow or take a back seat to white supremacy. He confronted the white supremacist construct with as much confidence and zeal as he confronted his opponents in the ring. His defiant stance in media gave a nation (within a larger more hostile nation) of millions courage and pride. It inspired protest and affirmed the fact that we as a people are great. He was not worried about endorsement dollars. In fact he knew that it would be more lucrative for him to go along to get along just as pretty much every athlete today does but he remained steadfast and fearless.

4. He was not trans-racial and did not transcend race. He was unapologetically Black.

 

Jackie Robinson, Joe Louis,  and Jesse Owens were phenomenal athletes that paved the way for Muhammad and others to thrive in the sports arena. By extension they paved the way for black people to more equitably integrate in to all levels of sports, entertainment, business and academia because they humanized blacks in the minds of millions of white Americans that saw (and treated us) as less than. Jackie, Joe, and Jesse were not a black mans black man though. At least not publicly. They were the white mans black men and while I completely understand the precarious line that they had to walk they lacked the intestinal fortitude of Muhammad Ali who made the conscious decision to be the black mans black man. Before him on the national sports scene there was none and sadly no such an athlete has come after him. Muhammad Ali’s embrace of his blackness was so real and so authentic that white people loved and respected him for it (the ones that did not hate him for it).

Michael Jordan  is widely considered the GOAT in basketballcentric conversations. However he was as bad off the court about being a strong black man that took strong black stances as he was good at dominating the league over the span of his playing career. Michael Jordan was arguably a greater basketball player on the court than Ali was a boxer in the ring but his sheer cowardice as it pertained being a black mans black man exempts him from legitimately  holding the GOAT title. Micheal Jordan was famously asked in 1990 to endorse a black man running for the US Senate by the name of Harvey Gantt. Gantt at the time was trying to unseat one of the most rabidly racist and regressive US Senators since reconstruction by the name of Jesse Helms (NC). Michael Jordan’s response to the endorsement request was “Republicans buy sneakers too”.  MJ was the closest athlete to reaching the world wide recognition as Ali. Black America could have really used from MJ in the 80’s and 90’s the kind of unapologetic blackness that Ali gave to black America during his prime. He chose to do the opposite therefore he’s much closer to being a goat than the GOAT.

 

5. He is the father of rap music and by extension the hip-hop culture

 

DJ Kool Herc is the father of hip-hop. Muhammad  Ali however is the father of rap. The only thing missing from the punch lines, similes and analogies inherent in his prophetic and poetic proclamations were bars and hooks.  The precocious and braggadocios rhymes  that Ali spit was primordial hip-hop. In fact it was hip-hop (LL Cool Jay) that actually coined the acronym GOAT. And while LL is not the GOAT he is Ali. Jay Z is Ali, Ice Cube is Ali. Scar Face is Ali.Biggie was Ali, Tupac was Ali. Fuck being like Mike, Be like Ali. The one and ONLY GOAT.

 

 

 The 4 Block Buster deadline Trades That No One Is Talking About

The NBA trade deadline came and left last week  with little to no hoopla, fanfare, or late breaking news of any kind of three team swap changing the predictable balance of power in either conference. It’s been something of a downer for us fans of the game that like just a little bit of drama to go with our hoops. However, in lieu of Kevin Love not becoming a Celtic, Laker or Clipper; despite Carmelo having a no trade clause in his contract and irrespective of the fact that Dwight Howard & James Harden are married at the hip for at least the remainder of the season there still  were some really block busting trades consummated at the 11th hour of last weeks NBA’s trade deadline. The NBA NRA (National Racial Association) quietly announced four huge trades.

The Fine Print

The NBA collective bargaining agreement states that in every trade the two parties being traded must be within 125% of each other salary wise. Since the NRA does not track the salaries of those on the trading block the formula that they  use to remain in compliance with the collective bargaining agreement are the professions (or lack there of) of their trade prospects. So for an example if  I was the sole arbiter of what was and was not a fair trade I would gladly trade Dr. Ben Carson for the Puppy Monkey Baby. Only problem with that is the fact that Dr. Ben Carson is a world renowned neurosurgeon and the Puppy Monkey baby a prop from a Super Bowl commercial. The Puppy Monkey Baby maybe a bit more cogent and capable of carrying on an adult conversation but it’s hardly enough to compete with a guy that has on his resume the separation of Siamese twins  conjoined by the noggin-even if that guy is a certified loon.  So it  goes without saying that such a trade would not be approved by the Association. So much to the chagrin of the Black delegation Dr. Carson will remain a part of the black community for the foreseeable future. The good news for the black delegation however is they did find trading partners for four other blacks that have long been considered  to overstayed their welcome in the community and in need of having their respective black cards revoked. I’m certain that most would agree with the following deals that were most recently agreed upon before the trade deadline.

NRA Trade Number One: Stacy Dash for Gary Owens

gary-owen-stacey-dash

You don’t have to be the GM of the Lakers or  Celtics or be the next coming of Jerry West for this deal to have been your brain child. This particular trade comes straight out of No Brainerville. Two B-C rated actors that are already comfortable in the others skin (figuratively and literally) and seamlessly able to traverse cultures and code switch their way right up into the family. Stacy Dash went from being a video vixen extraordinaire  serving as eye candy to inner city generation X’ers with hip-hop proclivities to Fox News’s resident coonologist and eye candy for angry white ammo-sexual baby boomers. She’s been on the trading block since at least 2012at least 2012. Her decision to resurrect her  faint relevance as one of the resident Fox News Coontributors specifically hired to assuage the  guilt and placate the fragile feelings of the Networks Salty white Tear dripping viewership.  Just did not sit well with the home team. The straw that broke the camels back though was her latest viral diatribe  after being invited on the Fox & Freinds to opine on the #oscarssowhite controversy

STEVE DOOCY: What do you think about this?

STACEY DASH: I think it’s ludicrous.

STEVE DOOCY: Why??

STACEY DASH: We have to make up our minds. Either we want to have segregation or integration. And if we don’t want segregation, then we need to get rid of channels like BET and the BET Awards and the Image Awards where you’re only awarded if you’re black. If it were the other way around, we would be up in arms. It’s a double standard.

STEVE DOOCY (HOST): So you say there shouldn’t be a BET channel?

DASH: No, I don’t think so. No. Just like there shouldn’t be a Black History Month. You know? We’re Americans. Period. That’s it.

DOOCY: Are you saying there shouldn’t be a Black History Month because there isn’t a white history month?

DASH: Exactly. Exactly.

 

She could not be any more clearer about want g out off of Team Blackness with that mindless missive. Not since Latrell Spreewell choked PJ Carlisimo in practice way back in 1997 has a player been so undisguised about wanting to be traded.

For Gary’s part he celebrated being traded to the black community just as you would expect a black person to do. He took to the Gram…

Welcome to the fam G!
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NRA Trade Number Two:Jason Whitlock  for Dave Zirin

 

With such a huge dearth in black journalism and the black perspective being bantered in the ether to compete with and combat mainstream media bias and mind manipulation it’s a shame that we have to put one of the more successful and widely read and regarded black sports writers on the market. But when the opinions you posit present more poison to the problematic nature of post Fairness Doctrine specious and pernicious journalism as opposed to being an elixir to such a societal malady then you really have worn out your welcome and need to cease being a Journalist in Black Face. We are better off with you being on another team because a black face postulating white supremacist thoughts and codifying the inexplicable angst of a large swath of AmeriKKKa is actually worse than it is coming from your typical AM side of the dial angry white talk show host.  . As a sports writer Jason Whitlock has  been largely able to fly under the radar as it pertains to offering an opinion on the germane issues of the day. But on those rare occasions that he’s asked or tasked with taking on issues of equality, intersectionality,  and/or oppression nine times out of ten he’s going to offer a convoluted quip that Ted Nugent would be proud to re-tweet.

Dave Zirin on the other hand has long used his pen as a sword for social  justice and equality. Not just for black people but all oppressed, neglected and disaffected people around the globe. He’s penned several books that delve deep into the heart of the pertinent issues of the day from a high minded and holistic perspective. The John Carlos Story and Game Over are just two of the many books that he’s authored that I recommend as a great reads…


More recently these two contemporary sports writers had the prime opportunity to opine on the same issue tackling intersectionality in a sports related kind of way and their opinions  could not have been any more divergent. By now everyone is aware of Beyonce’s Super Bowl Performance where homage was paid to The Black Panther Party, victims of police brutality and mis-conduct as well as the LGBT community. The overall message was one that was about love and they went to great lengths to say as much.

But…

Pepsi Super Bowl 50 Halftime Show

…that obviously was not universally interpreted and understood and our latest trading partners could not have crystallized any better how differently the message in the music of the Super Bowl Half-Time show has been conveyed.

Jason Whitlock on Beyonce’s performance:

 

Beyonce, why are you bringing this rebellion to a sporting event? This is an event that all of America comes together, 100 million people around America and throw Super Bowl parties, we come together across economic and racial lines and it’s all just one good time and the players … represent all these great things in America. … Probably not appropriate for the Super Bowl. It’s just not that type of event.

If you want to send a message, if you want to pander to social media and Twitter, if you want to extend your brand by involving yourself in controversy, [then] what Beyonce did was absolutely brilliant. You listen to the song’s lyrics, there’s no real rebellion in it. None.

“So I can see how the NFL got fooled by this. They listened to the song, and there’s nothing to it. There’s no tribute to the Black Panther party or any real shots at Hurricane Katrina or anything like that in the actual lyrics of the song. You have to watch the video to get the rebellion. She didn’t release the video until the day before the Super Bowl. So I could see how the NFL got caught off-guard.

When you tie the whole thing together, Beyonce snuck in some subversiveness that has put her in the center of controversy and has enhance her and Jay-Z’s brand. They had been getting beaten up in social media by the Black Lives Matter movement, that ‘You don’t support us,’ ‘You’re not down with this movement,’ blah blah blah . . . Beyonce pulls off this publicity stunt and now she’s all good with the social-media crowd and the people involved with Black Lives Matters.

“It’s all just a game and a fun marketing tool for Beyonce. They’ll make more money out of this and enhance their brand. But they’ve also set off some divisiveness in America, and that’s what’s disappointing to me.” ~ Jason Whitlock

One thing we know for sure the homie Jason Whitlock has no qualms about telling us how he really feels. On the flipside neither does Dave Zirin as he penned a piece entitled In Defense of Beyonces Black Panther Tribute At the Super Bowl for The Nation. In it he goes on to say:

A whole hell of a lot of people on Fox News and in the right-wing sewers of the Internet have lost their damn minds. I am not going to link to the statements, ranging from the historically ignorant to the unabashedly racist, because that’s their game. But I will say that if you are comparing the Black Panthers to the KKK, like one police sergeant did on Facebook, you are only proving that the extent of your historical knowledge is what some asshole said on Twitter. It’s like “comparing Adolf Hitler to Richard Pryor because they both had mustaches.”

Yet despite the right-wing noise, Beyoncé’s performance has created space for a real conversation about the Black Panthers, beyond the caricature. It is a chance to get people to see the recent Stanley Nelson PBS documentaryVanguard of the Revolution or read The Black Panthers Speak or Seize The Time or any number of books. Just to give one example, the most illustrative, politically textured Panther memoir in my humble opinion is My People Are Rising by Seattle Black Panther Party founder Aaron Dixon. When Dixon’s book was released in 2012, I pushed people to read it on social media and among friends and was met with a tepid response. After Beyoncé’s performance, I went back and recommended it again. The reaction was off the chain.

Being in the Bay Area this week has also opened my eyes to another part of what made Beyoncé’s halftime performance matter. There are people here who have dedicated their lives to fighting police brutality—most recently in the form of the killing of Mario Woods—and for the rights of the homeless to not be treated like collateral damage of gentrification. They wanted the Super Bowl to be an opportunity to spotlight these issues for the country. Instead, they were met with a smothering police presence, indifferent media, and an NFL occupation that made swaths of their city resemble the Green Zone in Iraq. ~ Dave Zirin

It’s pretty clear from reading the thoughts of these two sports journalist that hearing more of the latter and less (a whole lot less) of the former would be sort of a good thing.

NRA Trade Number Three:Darnell Earley for Tim Wise

 

Most people don’t know who Darnell Earley is but I’m certain that they know his work.  Darnell Earley is the Emergency City Manager that was put in place by Governor Rick Snyder to run the city of Flint. There’s really not much else to say about this son of a bitch ass coon. He played a major part in poisoning the drinking water of an entire city full of lower middle class, poor black, brown and white people. He was then promoted to head the Detroit Public Schools to put the final nails on that coffin  before his previous dastardly deeds came back to haunt him and he was forced to resign due to the mess that he co-created in Flint. He was essentially a black face hired to push a white supremacist agenda and he did a stellar job at it.

Tim Wise on the other hand has been one of the more formidable and unabashed white voices against racism and prejudice in American society for the last 10 years. He’s nothing short of an ally in the fight against white supremacy so this one again was pretty much a no brainer.

NRA Trade number four:The Congressional Black Caucus for the Congressional Progressive Caucus

The CBC’s recent endorsement of Hillary for the democratic nomination over the much more progressive (and trustworthy) Bernie Sanders was rather disappointing. It however was not enough of a reason to put the CBC who has long been known as the conscience of the Congress on the trading block . The unconscionable and inexplicable reasons that the leadership gave for their endorsement is actually why they have been offered up for the kinder, gentler and much more socially aware  Congressional Progressive Caucus. It’s hard to begrudge Congressmen John Lewis and Congressman James Clyburn for endorsing a person who has helped their PERSONAL ambitions in maintaining their congressional seats by allowing some of the unmitigated and untraceable big money that flows through their coffers to trickle into their own respective campaign war chests. However when they conflate someone being able to help them personally with actually doing the same for the black community, the masses the have supported them for the last 40 years have every right to take umbrage with their reckless word choice on their already questionable endorsement.

Now don’t get me wrong. Someone simply doing what was right in 1963 or whatever year it was that Bernie Sanders marched for equality or was arrested at a sit in does not automatically earn the black vote in 2016. However dismissing his involvement in the Civil Rights movement because you are supporting someone was on the opposite end of the historical and  ongoing fight for justice is rather dubious.Take for instance John Lewis’s response to a reporter asking him about Bernie Sanders well documented dalliance with the Civil Rights movement during his college years:

Well, to be very frank, I’m going to cut you off, but I never saw him, I never met him. I’m a chairman of the Student Nonviolent Coordinating Committee for three years, from 1963 to 1966. I was involved in the sit-ins, the freedom rides, the March on Washington, the march from Selma to Montgomery, and directed their voter education project for six years. But I met Hillary Clinton. I met President Clinton.”~ Congressman John Lewis

 

Lets parse that statement real quick. He is implying one of two things both of which are nonsensical.

A: he’s either implying that he knew Hillary and Bill from being supporters of Civil Rights some 50 years ago.

OR

He’s implying that he’s never in his life met Bernie Sanders. Both  statements are patently false. His statement was a conflation of facts. When you have to resort to that kind of double speak to justify endorsing a person then you deserve all the back lash that comes your way (as it did) to force you to eat your errant word play (which he did). Quite naturally he took a lot of criticism from corners of the political and social movement world that are in most cases reticent when it comes to critiquing elders from the civil rights time period. Predictably he was compelled to walk back his aggressive response to the innocuous query:

I was responding to a reporter’s question who asked me to assess Sen. Sanders’ civil rights record. I said that when I was leading and was at the center of pivotal actions within the Civil Rights Movement, I did not meet Sen. Bernie Sanders at any time. The fact that I did not meet him in the movement does not mean I doubted that Sen. Sanders participated in the Civil Rights Movement, neither was I attempting to disparage his activism. Thousands sacrificed in the 1960s whose names we will never know, and I have always given honor to their contribution…If you take a look at a transcript of my statement, you will find I did not say that I met Hillary and Bill Clinton when I was chairman of SNCC in the 1960s. My point was that when I was doing the work of civil rights, led the Voter Education Project and organized voter registration in the South in the 1970s, I did cross paths with Hillary and Bill Clinton in the field. They were working in politics, and Bill Clinton became attorney general of Arkansas in the 1970s as well. That began a relationship with them that has lasted until today~ John Lewis (mea culpa)

The double speak did not end there. Both he and congressman Clyburn both denounced the idea of free college. They said that such a thing sends the wrong message. Here are two men particularly in the case of John Lewis that purport to carry the torch of Dr. Martin Luther King and his fight for economic equality sounding like Paul Ryan when it comes to evening the playing field in a most fundamental way. It was only 8 years ago that Clyburn was denouncing the race baiting of Bill and Hillary in their nomination fight against Obama. Now he can’t stop extolling her virtues. Collegiality over conviction is what that amounts to. It’s certainly not egregious enough of an offense for an individual trade so both John Lewis, James Clyburn and every other member of the CBC (not named Mia Love or Tim Scott) are all on Team Blackness for life but as an organization in congress boasting the teams color and logo it’s time that we trade them in for a more forward leaning body in the House and Senate.  Even before the CBC bet their black card on Hillary Clinton they have been slowly but surely losing their way and subsequently the right to be called the Conscience of the Congress.  Just to illustrate a few of their more incorrigible misdeeds as a caucus the following list serves as exhibit A.

  1. In 2014 Rep Alan Grayson (of the Congressional Progressive Caucus) introduced a Bill to put an end to the Pentagon siphoning their military grade weapons and equipment off to America’s already overzealous police forces. The measure failed and only 7 of 41 members of the CBC voted to for it.
  2. They have in increasing numbers started to capitulate to the Wall Streets demands on regulating their blood sucking hood predators like Pay Day Loan and Rent-to-Own companies
  3. In 2008 the CBC Foundation which had raised over $55 million dollars from 2004-2008 spent more on a lavish banquet for ($700,000) than they did in scholarships that they awarded.

Again. As individuals the CBC members have little to worry about as far as being traded but as a collective the Black Delegation can do much better so…

 

 

 

Top 10 Coons of 2015

2015 was another coontastic year full of black folks doing their latest and greatest “Shuck & Jive” routine to remain in the good graces of mainstream conservative white America. I could go on and on for days about the kind of self loathing self centered and selfish motivations that go into making certain black men and women suspend all manners of pride and common logic while spewing the most embarrassing rhetoric for the sole purpose of ingratiating  themselves with the kind of dying breed of thought propagated on Fox news, but I don’t have all day and since we have already said farewell to 2015 I’m going to cut to the chase and share my top 10 Coons of the last 365 day cycle…

#10 Raven Symone

Raven the bird

Now Raven is probably one of the more innocuous additions to this list because unlike the coons that will  follow her she has not outwardly advocated for or co-signed the murder of black people, stumped for Trump or any of the more outlandish things that her brothers and sisters in coondumb are guilty of.

With that being said Raven is a black woman that has a national media platform and while The View to most serious people may be superficial day time programming in nature, Ravens words, thoughts and opinions reverberate and have wide spread resonance. With such a dearth in black voices in media she has a responsibility (whether she accepts this or not) to represent the overall interest of African-Americans as they portend to social uplift and all manners of equality. While Raven is far from the most egregious on air offender of black sensibilities I would be remiss not to coon-crown her for openly embracing discriminating against people with ethnic or as she puts it “ghetto sounding” names.

She received enough backlash for her banal brain musing that she did the unthinkable–at least for a coon. She actually apologized to black people and retracted her statement. And while there are other examples this year of her cooning we will not belabor the point because again, unlike the coons on the list that will follow her there is some hope. Let’s pray that she understands the error of her ways and does not make next year’s list.

#9 Jonathan Gentry

jonathan gentry

~ Now most don’t know this “Soul Glo” Negro. Hell, I barley know who he is. I just happened to pass one of his coonified productions on Facebook and could not help but to opine on the kind of chicanery  chicoonery that he had on display.  Of course the mostly all white people on his page that pats him on his greasy ass head for his Uncle Tom soliloquies rushed to defend their lawn jockey. My retort to his rabidly racist followers  ended up getting me a 30 day ban from Facebook…

Banned from FB pic


 

…so needless to say my number 9 selection was more personal in nature. Though the Coon-job that he’s pulling off is still worthy of mention.

 

#8 Rod Wheeler

wheeler

Rod Wheeler is another lesser known coon (unless you are a Fox Newsbot) who deserves some recognition for his incessant coonery and failing of black people in media. The following clip speaks for itself. As a black man and former police officer he has totally abdicated his responsibilities to the community by co-signing the deaths of the innocent victims of racist policing in America. His answer to how to stop police killings of unarmed black people is to get out of their way and let them do their jobs. Oh and that there needs to be a change at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue. He really said that…

#7 Kevin Jackson

kjacksonbookcover

Kevin Jackson is one of the better known hired guns (against black progress) of Fox News. He makes a living being the attack dog for white supremacy on air. No matter how egregious the offense to black people are he will always side with whatever Sean Hannity’s opinion is. He is to Sean Hannity what Justice Clarence Thomas is to Justice Antoion Scalaia–a lap dog.

His answer about what ails black America will always default to liberal policies, the Democratic party and Al Sharpton & Jesse Jackson. No matter what the specific topic at hand is. I think we all know a coon or two like this guy.

#6 Diamond & Silk

diamonsnsilk

~ Now these two coonettes were plucked from under the same rock of obscurity that the rest of Donald Trumps dangerously uneducated following crawled from under. The two of these women together can be described as nothing short of a minstrel act. The kind of cooning that they have on display would normally grant them a higher ranking but as I said earlier–2015 was quite the coontastic year and these birds have little to no influence on even the most guile among us so all this performance really amounts to is a modern day Amos and Andy skit.

Two extra mediocre ghetto birds with lace front weaves endorsing Donald Trump and his Mein Kampf style of politics amounts to being just a misdomeaner in comparison to the Trump endorsements coondorsements to follow…

 

#5 The Black Preachers that endorsed Trump

black preachers for trump

…because after all not even the average ghetto bird will  follow these ghetto birds to the polls to vote for him. The Diamond and Silk coon combo at the end of the day will garner minimal (if any) black voters for Trump. Their purpose more than anything is to assuage white racist guilt and to allow Trump to keep on saying “The Blacks love me”. These black preachers stumping for Trump is a much more nefarious act of treason to the community because these men are literally paid to lead flocks of black people and they are knowingly leading their flock to vote for a man that overtly disdains them and is literally promising to increase their misery index. No matter what these men and women have done in their respective ministries in the past to uplift the community (if they’ve done that at all) they will now and forevermore be remembered for selling out the black and progressive cause for Donald Trumps chump change. They have reached the point of no return and are coons for life–the same holds true for their respective congregants. So yes, if you still sit in any of these house niggers pew on Sunday, you too are a coon for life.

Then there was this…

#4 Omorosa

omarosa-trump

Omorosa was the actual ring leader of the Black Preachers for Trump Coon Brigade. She’s higher on the list and singled out because in addition to being an ordained minister she’s a very accomplished woman and has enough merit and stripes that such cooning on her part for Donald Trump is wholly unnecessary. Her literally whoring for one of the most overtly racist men to run for president since Barry Goldwater should forever relegate her to being nothing more than a coon, bed wench, mammy (insert Uncle Tom pejorative of choice).

 

#3 Ben Carson

ben-carson-and-evolution-with-tardis-and-jesus-riding-dinosaur

~Mr. Gifted Hands has anything but a gifted mind. His meteoric yet ephemeral rise to the top of the GOP presidential polls mirrors that of Herman Cains rise (and fall) four years ago. By now it’s pretty obvious that both men are the ultimate tokens of the Grand Ole Party’s fledgling nomination process whereby they serve as the ultimate cover for the most ignorant and bigoted voters (and pollsters that corral them) in the nation and allow them to opine in the most mind numbing racist ways only to claim that they are not racist because they are voting for a buffoon named Ben. Even the dolts that claim to be supporting this useful idiot know that come Super Tuesday his name will be no where near a ballot.

Ben Carson is the Rain Man of brain surgery–politics not so much. In the school of medicine the dude is genius extraordinaire. In the school of politics, common sense and all things unrelated to cutting open the medulla oblongata, he’s arrested in his development  and suffering from an undiagnosed case of Asperger’s (no offense to anyone with a child on the autism spectrum).  He’s more socially awkward, inept and out of place on the national political stage than a 3rd grader at the opera. The good news is that by this time next election cycle he will be the same faint and distant memory (and footnote in history) that Herman Cain is today because his useful idiocy will have long expired. Enjoy Corky while you can.

#2 Sheriff David Clarke

David Coon Clarke

Sheriff David the Coon Clarke has never met a police shooting of an unarmed black person that he did not agree with or co-sign as great police work. His rise to notoriety (mostly via Fox and CNN) coincides with and is in direct correlation to the level of outrage generated by the myriad murders by police caught on tape. He’s paraded around the networks to basically explain away racist police policies and abuse of authority. This makes him one of the most dangerous men (for blacks) on television.

And oh yeah, his answer to what ails the black community is single black women.

#1 Reverend Jesse Lee Peterson

jesse-lee-peterson

Allow me to drop this verbatim right here (Rev. Jesse Lee Patterson on the Black Lives Matter Movement)

“It’s a hate group, they’re no different than the skinheads or the KKK. They are people who have never been taught to love. From the beginning of their lives they were taught to hate, blame and become victims. They’re just spending a lifetime blaming white Americans, blaming slavery for their lack of good parents in the homes and their lack of love… If Black Lives Matter was a white radical group, doing exactly what these black people are doing, they would be shut down. America would not allow that to happen…white Americans feel helpless and they have fear and they allow black lives matter, and other groups, to destroy our country…I’ve done a lot of work in the prisons and jails, and juvenile detention centers over the years. They have taught, and are teaching black youth, both male and female now, that Christianity is the white man’s religion and that Islam is the black man’s religion…At one point, I was a liberal Democrat, and I had the same anger as Black Lives Matter have because my father wasn’t there for me. Instead of people helping me to forgive him, they told me it was white racism, so I had to same hatred for white people…But I went to God and asked him to show me what was wrong, he  allowed me to see it was that anger that starts in the home.

Uncle Ruckus could not have said that any better (from the purview of a coon of course). And if that is not enough to justify his top billing as Coon of the year the following clip should cement his standing

When Sean Hannity has to tell you to dial back the coonery–you have officially earned the title Coon of the Year.

 

*Honorable Mention*

Clarence Thomas

Clarence Stephen Thomas

Charles Barkely

charles the coon

 

Don Lemon

donlemonsideeye

Stephen A. Smith

Stephen a smith

Taye Diggs

taye diggs

Anthony Mackie

anthonymackies

Stacy Dash

stay dash

Juan Williams

juan williams

Niger Innis

niger innis

Tommy Sotomayor

tjharrismugshot2

Wayne Bradley

wayneisacoon

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Decoding Sir Charles: An Open Letter to Charles Barkley

Dear Sir Charles,

Throughout your playing career and on through your post playing days into your second career as an NBA analyst you’ve always used your position in the media spot light to say what others were thinking but afraid to say (for better and worse). That’s one of the attributes that I and many others have always enjoyed about you and moreover one of the main reasons why you’re employed to opine in the first place. Being an outspoken person myself I find it hard not to appreciate those who have the testicular fortitude to wade into topical conversations that border the taboo. Your latest foray into controversial waters however leaves a whole lot to be desired. You were posited a question about what you thought of the UNSUBSTANTIATED  reports out of the Seattle Seahawks locker room that Russell Wilson was not considered black enough by some of his teammates. Your retort to the rather loaded question was the greatest gift to Merica and the Tea Party Patriots that want their “country back” since their lord and Savior Ronald Reagan ruled the world…

“Unfortunately, as I tell my white friends, we as black people, we’re never going to be successful, not because of you white people, but because of other black people. When you’re black, you have to deal with so much crap in your life from other black people. It’s a dirty, dark secret; I’m glad it’s coming out. It comes out every few years. I wrote a big chapter  it in my book about it to be honest with you. I said that when young black kids when they do well in school the losers kids say ‘oh you’re acting white’ the kids who speak intelligently they tell them that they are acting white. So it’s a dirty dark secret in the black community–one of the reasons why we are never going to be successful as a whole is because of other black people and for some reason We are brainwashed to think that if you’re not a thug or an idiot you’re not black enough– if you go to school make good grades speak intelligent and don’t break the law you’re not a good black person. It’s a dirty dark secret Anthony. I heard Stephen A talking about it. It ah um(inaudible jive) I hate to bring white people into our crap but as a black person we all go through it when you’re successful. One of the reasons a lot of black players go broke is because when you’re successful your friends say “oh you ain’t cool’ or ‘you ain’t down no more’ then you end up giving all your money to these damn losers and going broke again. But it’s a dirty dark secret in the black community that a lot of black people who are unintelligent who don’t have success is best to knock successful black person down with their intelligence they speak well they do well school and they are successful uh I mean think about it… its crabs in the barrel. I mean we’re the only race that tells people if you don’t have street cred, that means that been arrested. Like that’s a compliment.  We are the only ethnic group that says ‘hey if you go to jail that give you street cred’ that’s the typical bs that goes on when you’re black man. Don’t waste a lot of time on it please because it’s just so um (inaudible)- Russell Wilson has a-Uh I don’t know Russell Wilson , I met him and said hello but just because he studies the play book all the time and does not go out clubbing and things like that I guess some of the other players–(more inaudible jibber jive)you see what happened with Percy Harvin they wanted him to do crazy things but he did not want to do them ~Charles Barkley

I’m not sure if it’s because you were once my favorite player or if I feel bad about the fact that your subjects and verbs remain in perpetual fight mode every time you open your mouth, But I feel an extra level of patience with you and your latest respectable negro diatribe. So much so that I’m writing this open scribe with the hope that you might read it and learn a thing or two about black people since you are obviously disconnected. Due to the non-nuanced highly conflated and context-less nature of your soliloquy it’s almost impossible to do a point by point repudiation so I’m just going to leave a few points for you to ponder based on some of what you mumbled during your radio interview on Afternoons with Anthony Gargano and Rob Ellis.

Points to ponder

1.”Unfortunately, as I tell my white friends, we as black people, we’re never going to be successful, not because of you white people, but because of other black people. When you’re black, you have to deal with so much crap in your life from other black people. It’s a dirty, dark secret; I’m glad it’s coming out. It comes out every few years” ~ CB

Charles kiss

First and foremost unintelligent whites have done far more damage to the black family’s plight (and their own)than unintelligent blacks ever could. It was unintelligent whites that championed, voted to keep and even fought and died to preserve the system of chattel slavery. This is despite the fact that free slave labor meant less jobs for them and all but eliminated them as competition for the plantation owning elites within their agrarian industry. It’s unintelligent whites who have voted to keep segregation and disenfranchisement of blacks  in place, unintelligent whites are the ones that voted for all of these wars that we are still in the midst of–even though it would be them and their progeny dying and not the “intelligent  white men” that ordered these wars. It was unintelligent whites that voted for Bush and Cheney despite their looting of the national treasury. Unintelligent whites knew that Dick Cheney left the CEO’s seat at Halliburton to become the Vice President of the United States but those same unintelligent white folks never questioned the no bid tax payer funded contracts in the billions and those same unintelligent white men not even ten years later have zero recollection of their culpability when discussing the trillions in debt that their guys dug this country in. And just like yourself those unintelligent white folks are blaming the black guy and the minority black population that supports him.

2. “I wrote a big chapter it in my book about it to be honest with you. I said that when young black kids when they do well in school the losers kids say ‘oh you’re acting white’ the kids who speak intelligently they tell them that they are acting white”~ CB

WTF is a big chapter in the first place? Did you mean to say a fairly large chapter? Second of all why would you dedicate such a “big chapter” of your book to such an outdated and debunked stereotype? Ever since I was in grade school being dumb or being in special ed was never a cool thing.  I also find it funny that you would broach the topic of speaking improper English–have you ever heard yourself speak? You have the diction of a run away slave and you are talking about blacks berating other blacks and calling them white just because they know how to speak? C’mon Chuck! You coined the word “Turrable” dude– you should have known better than to go there.

3.”It’s crabs in the barrel. I mean we’re the only race that tells people if you don’t have street cred, that means that been arrested. Like that’s a compliment. We are the only ethnic group that says ‘hey if you go to jail that give you street cred’ that’s the typical bs that goes on when you’re black man.”~CB

Were we crabs in the barrel when we were paying $120 for your CB34 Nike basketball shoes? Were we crabs in a barrel when we bought your jersey and the myriad other products that you were hired to be the pitch man for? Speaking of crabs in a barrel did it ever dawn on you that a barrel  is not necessarily a crabs natural habitat or environment? Crabs in a barrel are essentially headed for slaughter–how are they supposed to act? By likening black people to crabs in a barrel you are acknowledging the precarious position that black people are in while at the same time blaming them for the actions of those that are oppressing them or sending them to slaughter.  Also when you threw that 5 foot 2,  110 pound man through a plate glass window and resisted arrest way back in 1997, were you trying to get your street cred up or nah? How about the time you got that DUI charge 2008–you know the one where you told the arresting officer  “You want the truth?..I was gonna drive around the corner and get a blow job”.

Drunk charles

4. “Don’t waste a lot of time on it please because it’s just so um (inaudible)- Russell Wilson has a-Uh I don’t know Russell Wilson , I met him and said hello but just because he studies the play book all the time and does not go out clubbing and things like that I guess some of the other players–(more inaudible jibber jive)you see what happened with Percy Harvin they wanted him to do crazy things but he did not want to do them”~CB

This last part makes your cringe worthy rant all the more dubious. You don’t know Russell Wilson, you never said more than hello to the guy, these unsubstantiated reports come out and you take the rumor and run with it. You have zero insight into what’s going on in the Seattle Seahawk locker room. Your dearth of knowledge as it pertains to the black community is even greater. The more that I think about it I I’m inclined to believe that with your knowledge and consent Anthony Gargano and Rob Ellis purposely and specifically sought you out to convey this kind misguided missive to their mostly white audience to assuage and placate their guilt so they could comfortably embrace the faux post-racial times that we live in. I can understand this sort of House Nigger behavior coming from the nominally talented black folks like Stephen A Smith and Don Lemon but you are part of the 1 percent. And by 1 percent I am not referring to your bank account. I’m referring to the god given athletic prowess that enabled you to be the success story that you are. You should not have to stoop to such great levels to curry favor with white America. You’re a hall of famer for Christ Sake stop acting like Felicia and channel your inner Bill Russell.

Bye man!

Charles in drag

The Coon Conductor Awards: Top Ten Coons in 2014

coon (kun) 

n.

usage: Definition 5 is a slur and should be avoided. It is used with disparaging intent and is perceived as highly insulting.

n.

1.  short for raccoon.
2. A term born from the minstrel show movement
3. A racist term that whites used to disparage and humiliate blacks
4. A modern day term ascribed to black people who purposely and overtly disrespect  other black people (and black culture) for the express purpose of ingratiating themselves with white conservatives for monetary gain, societal perks or simple pats on the head.
5. Black people who affirm, uphold, support or in anyway agree with the white supremacist construct in America and abroad

example: Steve Harvey (honorable mention) is channeling his inner coon by offering up the black youth that his organization mentors as pawns in Paula Deens public relations re-branding scheme.

Malcolm on Steve

Now calling a black man a coon is highly offensive. It’s damn near fighting words. So in the interest of fairness and intellectual honesty all of the forthcoming nominees for the 2014 Captain Coon crown will be accompanied by at least one full context verbatim so that they can convey in their own words how and why they made it to the top ten percentile of such a dubious category. Without further ado I present to you the top ten coons of today (from least to greatest).

 10. Don Lemon

Don Lemon

Now if you compare Don Lemon to some of the coons that will follow him on this list you will find that his slights to the African-American community at the behest of ingratiation with the dominant Caucasian population is rather innocuous. In fact compared to some of Don Lemon’s fellow Coon Conductor nominees he’s H Rap Brown. Although Don’s offenses towards the culture are not as egregious, constant or overt as most that will make this list, as a black man with a national media profile and platform he too often is guilty of lazy thinking and political expediency when discussing matters germane to the interest and survival of African-Americans.

Bill O’Reilly famously went on a rant berating black culture with the express purpose of changing the national dialogue from racial profiling, unequal protection under the law for blacks and Zimmerman getting away with murdering Trayvon Martin to black people being cultural pariahs.

Don responded to this ridiculously racist rant by saying “He’s got a point. In fact, he’s got more than a point. In my estimation, he doesn’t go far enough.”

Even though he knew this was the aim all along (to change the conversation) he helped Bill O’Reilly do it and then had teh audacity to have an issue with those that took umbrage to his coonsign.

9. Stephen A Smith

StephenSmith-backs mark cuban

Like Don Lemon the level of coonery that Stephen A Smith displays on a daily basis pales in comparison to the coonery practiced by the rest of this list but his coon credentials are far too authentic to ignore. Mr. Smith got himself in deep hot water with many in the black community for his co-sign and subsequent doubling down of Marc Cubans bigoted comments. Many were shocked but I was not. Stephen A Smith boarded the coon train way back in 2009 while making a cameo appearance on conservative talk show hosts Mark Levin’s radio show.

In a not so clever set up Mark Levin lobbed a soft ball question about the new black president and the job that he was doing to Stephen A Smith and in classic coon conditioning Mr.Smith hit it out of the park for a grand coon home run. Now criticizing the first black president does not in and of itself make one a coon–there’s plenty of legitimate things to criticize this president about. However criticizing the first black president for doing the right thing and using half baked conservative talking points makes you a certified coon.

Mark Levin: “What do you make of what’s going on today, with all of the government push and all racism charges and the rest of that stuff?”

Stephen A Smith: Well I’m disturbed to be quite honest with you… I’m very very disturbed. You know as an African American growing up in the streets of New York City I understand what poverty is all about… I understand what trials and tribulations mean but at the same time I’m looking at what we are witnessing from our president, a man I voted for, a man that I was proud to vote for at the time simply because from a historical perspective what he represented and then I’m looking at  what I consider to be a government take over.And I’m quite alarmed and I don’t think he campaigned on it. I know that his record was radical. I listen to Sean Hannity a lot and Sean makes it a point to say that every day but I certainly did not expect us to own 80 percent of AIG, I did not expect us to own part of the automobile industry…It’s one thing to put forth a 787 billion dollar stimulus package, but to drop on top of that a 410 billion omnibus package, a 3.6 trillion budget, a Cap and Trade bill and then to come with a universal healthcare that ultimately lends toward a government take over of  the healthcare system. I did not have to listen to Mark Levin, or Sean Hannity or Rush Limbaugh to recognize that this is something that should make all of us extremely uncomfortable because as a young black man growing up in the streets of New York City, no matter what you say about so many of the critics that were perceived as leaders within the community– people may have advocated for government intervention in terms of supervising things and making sure that we were all operating under a fair and equitable system but I don’t recall anybody–and I mean anybody  that has ever walked into the black community and advocated a government  take over of anything. It’s about handling your own business, grabbing yourself by your own bootstrap and lifting yourself up. We may all need assistance but a take over is an entirely different situation all together. I’m extremely uncomfortable with this and even more uncomfortable with the fact that race has become a part of the discussion. We all know racism exists to some degree but to act as it is as prevalent as it was years and decades ago is completely untrue and it serves to divide this nation which I thing is a catastrophic thing.

Mark Levin: Are you running for president because I’d vote for you!

It almost seems like he should be higher on the list huh?

8. Michael Steele

Mike Steele

When the conservative clarion call went out for a black face to provide cover for the rampant racism that the Tea Party and the rest of the GOP establishment  was about to unleash on America, Michael Steele was the loudest and proudest  voice to step to the plate. Micheal Steele lobbied , ran ,shucked jived and cooned for the job of chairman of the Republican National Committee. He narrowly beat out another coon (Ken Blackwell)for the job.  He beat Ken Coon Blackwell largely on the promise that he would be able to deliver the hip-hop vote to the GOP (he really said that). His exact words were that “the GOP needs a hip-hop make-over”. It became the biggest running joke of his short tenure as RNC chair. He was heavily lampooned for it…

…and even the president got in on the act.

And just like Coon Steele can’t tell the difference between laughing with folks or when folks are laughing at him. But his true coon showed when sat in the hot seat with none other than coon number 10 (Don Lemon) and unwittingly revealed what most observers already knew–that him being the first black chairman of the RNC was a direct response to the country electing it’s first black president. What’s even more astounding is the fact that he believed at the time that they were on equal footing.

At the end of the day, and moreover at the end of Steels’s very short stint as a leader of the fledgling republican party his appointment was a failure–For both the party and himself. The GOP still has a black problem  and Micheal Steele lost pretty much all of his political stock and capital. It’s so bad for that guy that he can’t even get a job working for the defacto communications arm of the GOP (Fox News). Instead he has to settle for being the conservative whipping boy on left leaning cable news outlets.

7. Herman Cain

Hermaine Caine

I’ve long been of the belief that conservative blacks (aka coons) were talent-less, witless, slow thinking extra mediocre individuals and no person in recent memory embodied that caricature as fittingly as Herman Cain did when his black face and calcified mind briefly became the front runner in the 2012 GOP primary race. His reign at the top of the loser leader board was ephemeral but the coontastic memories that he gave the world while leading in GOP nominees for that brief stint are priceless…

…from his penchant for pinching white women’s asses unsolicited to his viral classic brain freeze the dude was well worth the price of admission to this minstrel act. He is certainly one of the more entertaining coons to make the list.

6. Stacy Dash

Stacy Dash

Stacy resurrected her name from obscurity during the 2012 elections by taking to Twitter of all places to declare her support of the almost human Mitt Romney. In predictable fashion the Twitter back lash from Black Twitter was fast and furious. Months later she ends up getting a job as a Fox News contributor. Pretty clever for a clueless chick.

From clueless to cooning. Only in Merica!

5. Rev Jesse Lee Patterson

Jesse Lee Henderson

No caption needed…

4. Allan West

Allen West

The quote in the meme says it all. If that’s not enough to convince you of this clowns coonery I’m just gonna drop this here for your enjoyment

3. Larry Elder

Larry Elder

Like Allen West Larry Allen’s internal angst as it pertains to the black race that he was so unfortunately born into comes from a very deep place. It’s almost like he’s made at black people because he’s black. He unlike even Allen West who was able to parlay his forced military retirement into a one term congressional appointment has no discernible skill set or even end goal. He’s just cooning for the sake of being a coon. And a pretty damn angry one at that.

Now you know you cooning on another level when regular white folks–not even particularly altruistic ones are calling you out and questioning your absurd worldview.

2. Dr. Ben Carson

Ben Carson

Dr. Carson is one of the more unfortunate additions to this list. Blessed with gifted hands but saddled with a graceless mind. Dr. Carson is a classic example of book smarts not transferring to other areas of personal endeavor. This high ranking coon actually said before a white conservative audience that the Affordable Care Act was the worst thing since slavery.

1. Clarence Thomas

Uncle Clarence

This King Coon is perhaps the most insidious black force to ever oppose black people n America. His detriment to the African-American collective quest for equality is as unrivaled as it is unforgivable.

Uncle Thomas’s hit job on black america started long before George Bush Sr. tapped him to replace Thurgood Marshall on the Supreme Court Ronald Reagan tapped him to Equal Employment Opportunity Commission (EEOC) where he purposely buried claims to prevent blacks and other minorities from seeking redress from employment discrimination.

Now Justice Clarence Thomas in addition to being known as an Uncle Tom purest is know to be deftly silent on and off of the bench. It’s hard to get a succinct, in context verbatim from him to prove his coonhood so instead I will simply list his great contributions to white supremacy and towards raising the misery index for black Americans by way of his voting decision making on the bench.

Clarence Thomas’s on Civil Rights

  • Affirmative action forever discounts black achievements. (Oct 2007)
  • Analyzed and advocated unpopular positions on race. (Oct 2007)
  • Black problems should be solved by blacks. (Oct 2007)
  • Preferential policies should apply to disadvantaged whites. (Oct 2007)
  • Affirmative action has stigmatizing effects. (Oct 2007)
  • Questions “adverse impact”: blacks can catch up with whites. (Oct 2007)
  • Black problems should be solved by blacks. (Oct 2007)
  • Improve black lives, consistent with conservative values. (Oct 2007)
  • Censure Bob Jones University for interracial dating ban. (Oct 2007)
  • EEOC had difficulty enforcing equal opportunity laws. (Oct 2007)
  • Coloradans entitled to be hostile toward homosexual conduct. (Aug 2005)
  • Don’t recognize GLBT as a constitutionally-protected class. (Dec 2003)
  • Limit employer liability for sexual harassment by employees. (Jun 1998)
  • Employee must prove negligence to sue city for harassment. (Jun 1998)
  • Tension between affirmative help and undermining dignity. (Sep 1991)
  • Reaching out to minorities is OK; but no quotas. (Sep 1991)
  • Supports scholarships & internships for minorities & women. (Sep 1991)
  • Sodomy laws are uncommonly silly but states can enforce them. (Jun 2003)
  • 1st Amendment protects church’s anti-gay funeral pickets. (Mar 2011)
  • Sociological analysis insufficient to prove gender bias. (Jun 2011)
  • State laws should not protect gay rights. (May 1996)
  • Hate crimes must be separate crimes, not just for sentencing. (Jun 2000)
  • Miranda rights can be overruled by Congress. (Jun 2000)
  • Boy Scouts may exclude gay scoutmasters. (Jun 2000)

This truncated list does not even contain his most insidious decision to join justices Roberts,  Scalia,  Alito and  Kennedy to roll back the key provisions in the 1965 voting rights act making it harder for blacks to vote and easier for racist states to deny blacks and other minorities access to the polls.  Unlike the rest of the loud mouth coons that made this list Uncle Thomas puts his money where his mouth is. as a matter of fact he rarely uses his mouth. He’s been a silent assassin when it comes to killing the hopes and dreams of black America.

Congratulations Uncle Thomas! You are the 2014 Coon Conductor.

now can you please….

stop coonin