Destination Uncle Tom’s Cabin: Top 100 Coons of 2016 part two of two (49-1)

As bad as cast of characters were in act one, their black cards don’t necessarily need to be revoked–at least not permanently. Act two though? These 50 coons for the most part are coons that black people need to collectively shun for good barring a 180 degree about face from whatever the infraction(s) was that landed them in such dubious company.

Coontestant# 49 Cam Newton

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Based on his offense to blackness  in 2016 Cam actually belongs in the first group of redeemable coons. Cam is setting off the coon for life team via extrapolation. In 2015 Cam embraced being a strong and proudblack man, much to the chagrin of the Carolina fan base and of course team ownership. So what did they do? They decided to bring in GOP spin doctor and race bait extraordinaire Frank Luntz to be the quarterbacks coach on navigating conversations on social issues and race, and boy was Cam a quick study.

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At the rate of change that Luntz’s tutelage had on Cam, if he remains the QB’s race coach for much longer Cam will indeed become the second coming of Sammy Sosa–and much closer to the number one spot in the next year. Here’s hoping that Cam listens to more sounds of blackness in 2017 and less Frank Luntz.

#uncoonthyselfcam

Coontestants 48-46 Alicia D White, Caesar R Goodson and William Porter

While these three coons did not directly kill Freddie Gray, they grossly abdicated their civic responsibilities, their blackness and their sheer humanity to protect the blue shield. They were charged along with the three white officers who were actually the ones that mortally wounded Gray in an attempt to get to the truth. In the end the the well intended  tactic failed. Largely because of these three coward ass coons.

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With the cooperation of the aforementioned three coons, all of the charges stemming from Freddie Gray’s murder were dropped on all six suspects.

#blackcooopblackcopblackcopblackcop

 

Coontestant# 45 Baltimore Mayor Stephanie Rawlings-Blake

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After prosecutor Marilyn Mosby took the courageous and unprecedented step of casting a wide net to prosecute the murder of a citizen  by the police her mayor threw her under the bus by claiming that she (Mosby) was bowing to political pressure as opposed to trying to solve a murder perpetrated by the state. She also insinuated that Mosby was not ready for the big stage, and when her city cops instigated a  “riot”, instead of empathizing with the young black youth that were being antagonized by her city police officers she publicly called the kids thugs.  Rawlings-Blake was and remains solidly on the side of the Baltimore Police Department despite the fact that the Justice department revealed systemic abuses. She is yet another black face put in a high place to protect white supremacy and maintain the status quo.

#olemammyassmammy

Coontestants #44-39 (washed up former athletes for Trump)  Mike Tyson, Latrell Sprewell, Terrell Owens  Shawn Merriman and Floyd Mayweather

It greatly pains me to put a former main man (Mike Tyson) on this list, but gotta go gotta go. When your allegiance to a purveyor of such overt bigotry and racism is stronger than your allegiance to your people you have out lived your worth to the community.

 

#allfuckboysquad

Coontestant# 38 Katrina Pierson

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This bubble headed broad was Donald Chrumps national spokeswoman during  his campaign and as ridiculous and juvenile as his little twitter fingers are, hers were worse. So much so that she did not even get a White House job after all the cooning that she did to help get him elected. She’s made more appearances on milk cartons in the mid-west than she has on cable news since Trump was elected.

#whereswaldo

 

Coontestant# 37 Malik Obama

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This coon from another continent and half brother of President Barack Obama was hired by Donald Chrump to be a prop at his last debate verse Hillary Clinton. He pulled off the trifecta with that coon move. He sold out African-Americans, his family name and the entire continent of Africa.

#dreamsofmyhalfwithalfbrother

 

Coontestamt#36 Armstrong Williams 

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Armstrong Williams has been cooning since before Tookie Williams was banging. This OG coon has been pushing the white supremacist agenda for so long that I almost for got that he rode the coon train. The television host, business partner and bff of Dr. Ben Carson had an up and down year himself. While his media empire continues to grow and he remains one of the most successful black men in media ownership his penchant for sexually harassing males continue to haunt him…

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Excerpts from the Washington Post

I wonder what his bff Ben Carson who is anti-gay to the extreme feels about his homies predisposition for getting butt massages by men.

#liketwohangersinacloset

 

 

Coontestant#35 Stacy Dash

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Stacy Dash aside from being a certified coon for life is a glutton for punishment and addicted to the game of rotisserie roast-me on twitter. She started 2016 out on the wrong foot by decrying the inherent racism of the Image Awards, BET and even going so far as to say that Black History month needed to be abolished. Her timing was impeccable because a week after she made the comments the NAACP image awards came and she was roasted by host Anthony Anderson who said

 “Everybody give a round of applause for Stacey Dash…What the hell is she doing here? Doesn’t she know that the Fox network is using her? She’s just an Ann Coulter dipped in butterscotch. That’s all she is. Baby, don’t let them use you! …Come back to the black people and get back to work on some of those beautiful C-movies that you used to do!” ~ Anthony Anderson

 And of course Black Twitter had to get a piece of the action
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BET was among the  first of many in the Twiterverse to clap back
 While Twitter had a ball with her coonified faux pas in 2016 unfortunately there will be less opportunities to lampoon her lunacy because Fox News declined to extend her contract for 2017. All that cooning she did and still got dropped. I wonder if BET is hiring???
#biggestloser
Coontestants 34-25 Allen West, Jesse Lee Patterson , Herman Cain, Larry Elder, Niger Innis, Raven Symone, Pastor David Manning , Charles Payne and Bob Johnson
 These ten consummate coons did not do or say anything of note in 2016. At least nothing more noteworthy than what we have all come to expect from them but what’s a coon list without adding them. The marvel is the fact that none of these handkerchief heads cracked the top 10 or even 20 this year.
#tradethemallforacartonofnewports
Coontestant #24 Lesean “Shady” McCoy 

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If he needs help, he’ll call the cops ~ Shady  McCoy on Colin Kapernicks protest

#suckerniggashit

 

 

Coontestant#23 Steve Perry

For most of this dudes career in public life and as a “school reformer” he’s flown far under the radar coondar. It makes him one of the more dangerous coons in America, specifically because his end goal is the destruction of the public school system and the teaching profession-particularly those in black communities. One of the few silver linings in Donald Chrump becoming the president is the fact that the insidious and dastardly deeds as they pertain to his work with school reform overtly dovetails with the plans that the new president has for inner city schools and he is rightly starting to be called out for it and it’s getting harder and harder for him to conceal his true motives.

 #teamvulture
Coontestant# 22 Lee Daniels
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“I wanted white people to feel good about being white people because right now, there’s a lot of hatred going on.”~ Lee Daniels

This dude has been speaking reckless for sometime now. His quizzical reasoning for why he cast a white star is as befuddling as it is bemusing.

#empireisgarbagewhywouldiwanttoseeabeckyversionofthattrash

 

 

Coontestant# 21 Tim Scott

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We would be remiss not to add this guy to the list. With Obama leaving office and Justice he’s the most powerful black man in the nation. And with those powers he votes lock step with the avowed racists in the US senate. From repealing voter rights and protections to removing the social safety net for the most needy this dude is as “ain’t shit” as they come.

 

#thespookatthesenatedoor

 

 

Coontestants# 20-19 Diamond & Silk

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This is what happens when rats and raccoons crossbred. These two Ratcoons better known as Diamond and Silk are the human equivalent of a Fox News merger with BET. If Azelia Banks and Carlton Banks ever had twins Diamond & Silk is who they’d grow up to be like. These hood possums are a viral minstrel show and are unabashed about it.
 #lacefrontlosers
Coontestant# 18 Jason Whitlock
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 Jason Whitlock is another long time coon who has a fairly broad media perch for which he uses to spread his cooned out opines.
Jason Whitlock on Black lives matter:African-Americans are more likely to be struck by lightning than to be killed by police
Jason Whitlock on Colin Kapernicks protest: “This kid was about Instagram models, tattoos, his abs and building up the Colin Kaepernick brand — until the very moment he loses his starting quarterback job, and now he’s out here and he’s ‘Martin Luther Cornrow.’ And he’s got cornrows, he’s Allen Iverson, he’s Angela Davis. I don’t buy it
 It’s rather obvious that he hates the black skin that he was born in. It’s unfortunate that he is given such a wide ranging perch on television, radio and print media to misinform the masses while codifying the white supremacist construct.
#willcoonforburgers
Coontestant#17  Justice Clarence Thomas
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Now that Justice Scalaia is dancing with the devil until the end of eternity  and unable to stick his hand up this clowns ass to play puppet master, he’s a rudderless coon on the bench less able to fuck over the country and black people by extension. He still however is one of the most destructive coons to black progression of all time so  his falling out of the top ten has much less to do with him doing less cooning in 2016 and much more to do with the the uptick in competition coonpetition for that number one spot.

#kingofcoons
Coontestant#16 Kanye West
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 Kanye has been on a collision course with coonery for a while now. And while his fragile mental state is cause for more empathy and understanding than scorn and rebuke we’ed be remiss to omit him from making the top 20 list for 2016. With love of course.
#comebackhomeyezzy
Coontestant# 15 Officer Brentley Vinsonofficer-brentley-vinson
 The man on the left is Keith Lamont Scott. Someone who was minding his business reading a book in his car while waiting to pick his kid up from school. The coon on the right is Brently Vinson, the Charlotte officer that murdered him for no reason at all. And while I do think that it’s possible a black man joinging a racist police force such as Charlotte could lead to him becoming a coon, something tells me that Vinson was a coon long before he received his badge. He’s a graduate of Liberty University. What Black man goes there that is not already a coon?
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Coontestant# 14 Sgt.  Demetrick Pennie
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 This coon with a badge just wanted to make his name known as a proud member of the Procyon species of mammal. Why else would he bring forth such a frivolous suit? This is what you call “how to get on Fox news 101”. i should not even be giving him the attention but how can he not make this list? This coon is being used as a pawn in a law suit not only naming Black Lives Matter, but also President Obama, Hillary Clinton, and Al Sharpton. This coon is literally throwing his feces at the wall with hopes that is sticks.
#monkeycoonpigandratallrolledinone
Coontestant# 13 Howard Croft
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 Howard Croft served as the City of Flints director of public works from 2011  until he was forced to resign in 2015. His position oversaw the flint water distribution system. It was him that brought the recommended changes that had the then city emergency manager Ed Kurtz switch the cities water source to the Flint River. He along with Kurtz has been indicted and is facing up to 20 years. Luckily he has the face of a snitch and all indications are he is doing just that as his previous counsel dropped him for meeting with investigators alone and rumors that the governor Rick Snyder too will soon face indictment. Stay tuned…
 #nevertrustaniggathathasapartonthesideofhishead
Coontestant #12 Darnell Earley
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 Darnell Earley is one of the emergency managers that the governor hand picked to run many of the cities in the state of Michigan. Even before the Flint water crisis that he helped cultivate and cover up he was a certified coon because he was used as a tool to usurp the sovereignty and franchise of the black people of the cities that he was appointed. He basically helped render their votes impotent because no matter who the citizens of Benton Harbor, Flint or Detroit elected, he and the other emergency managers were placed in charge of their city. He eventually replaced Ed Kurtz as city manager of Flint during their ill-fated switch to the Flint river for the cities water supply. Despite knowing that poisons from that river was literally making the citizens of the city sick to death. He too is facing indictment. He even had the audacity to try and stick the cash strapped city of Flint with the bill for his $750 per hour lawyer.
#heneedstobewaterboardedwithflintwater
Coontestant#11 Pastor Mark Burns
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 This extra mediocre fuck boy is your typical witless and talent-less tool. A coon of his stature normally would not make it so close to the top 10 even in a non-vintage year. He makes it this high on the list for the sheer audaciousness of his cooning ways. After cooning his way into a speaking gig at the GOP convention it all came crashing down when his bio was discovered to have been replete with alternative facts. He stated that he was a member of Kappa Alpha Psi fraternity that was a lie, he said that he was in the Army reserve, and that too was proven to be untrue. His being enrolled in a masters of divinity program also was a figment of his imagination. He was confronted with all of these stretches of the truth on camera in a sit down interview with CNN. It was so bad for the coon that he tried to go off the record mid interview and when that did not work homeboy walked out of the interview leaving the CNN correspondent all by his lonesome in his 400 square foot church. In the end Massa Trump took him off the coon circuit and his ass ain’t been seen since.
#outcoonedhimself

 

Top 10 coons of 2016

 

Coontestant# 10 Pastor Darryl Scottdarrell-scott-donald-trump-r
 Pastor Darryl Scott is the lead vocalist in the Black Preachers for Trump crew.
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In fact Darryl Scott is the Michael to Pastor Burns Tito in so far as what they mean to the BPFT movement.
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So far he has not been able to parlay his pulpit cooning into a steady job with the administration so for now he has to settle for being the right hand coon to Donald’s right hand coon.

 

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Coontestant# 9 Lil Wayne
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 Wayne actually looks like the physical manifestation of a rat and raccoon encounter during mating season. His music has long been of the minstrel type. However as demeaning and degrading as his music has been over the last couple of decades he managed to make occasional  dalliances with the reality faced by many of his fans that made him the mega rap star that he is. That’s why is answers to some very basic questions into his level of black consciousness left so many bemused.
Lil Wayne on Colin Kapernicks protest:
“I’m not into it enough to even give an opinion. Somebody had to tell me why he was doing it. That’s how much I didn’t know what was going on, and I kinda still don’t. Somebody gotta explain to me like, ‘Yo, he kneeling because of Black Lives Matter thing and because’—that whole wave just went by me too fast for me to give an opinion.”
 Lil Wayne on racism:
“These 33 years have been nothing but a blessing,” Wayne said on the show. “I have never—never’s a strong word. I have never, never dealt with racism and I’m glad I didn’t have to.” Tunechi added that he didn’t know if being a star made him immune to racism, but he now knows racism does exist despite racism not being his reality, continuing, “I would have to say I thought it was over. I still believe it’s over, but, obviously it isn’t.”
Lil Wayne after black twitter got wind of his coonery:
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#boycotthisbullshitmusic
Coontestant# 8 Jim Brown
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 Jim’s late breaking 2016 coonery caught a lot of people by surprise but I can’t say that I am one of those folks. Jim has a reputation for being down for the historic causes on behalf of the black community but the truth us Jim has always been out for Jim.
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This famous photo of Jim Brown and other great black athletes in their prime years during the 1960’s showing their unconditional and public support is something of an urban legend. Jim Brown is rightly credited with putting the group together, but the stated goal of this meeting of the minds has been obfuscated over the years. This meeting of hall of fame minds was the brainchild of boxing promoter Bob Arum. He tasked Jim Brown with gathering the group to convince Muhammad Ali to enlist in the Army so that his ban from boxing would be rescinded and they could all profit from the burgeoning closed circuit pay per view industry.   It just so happened that Ali was game enough for all of them and would not hear any of it. In the end these “well meaning” gentlemen & Jim settled for this iconic photo op.
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 Which brings us to his most recent photo op in the tale end of 2016. The one where Trump and his loyal brown minions sent him on the now familiar walk of shame through the Trump Towers lobby to deliver this barf inducing quip:
“I fell in love with him because he really talks about helping African-American, black people and that’s why I’m here” ~~ Jim Brown on Donald Trump
#fuckjimbrowntoo
# 7 Don King
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 About the only mantra more annoying than Don Kings “Only in America” chant is Don Trumps “Make America great again” so the natural synergy between the two Dons should surprise no one. What I did find just a little bit surprising is the level of minstrel that Mr.King stooped to while introducing him:
“You’ve got to understand, my black brothers and sisters, they told me, ‘You’ve got to try to emulate and imitate the white man and then you can be successful… So we tried that. They said, ‘If you can get some money, you can do this here.’ I told Michael Jackson, I said if you’re poor, you’re a poor negro – I would use the N-word – but if you’re a rich, you’re a rich negro; if you are intelligent, you’re an intellectual negro; if you’re a dancing and sliding and gliding nigger – I mean negro – you’re a dancing and sliding and gliding negro. So dare not alienate because you cannot assimilate. You know, you’re going to be a negro till you die.”
 #onlyinameriKKKa
Coontestant #6 Sherrif David Clarke
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Milwaukee sheriff David Clarke is one black man that has never met a shooting of an unarmed black man by a law enforcement officer that he did agree with. David Duke has more genuine love for black people than this afro goatee having nincompoop. In addition to being one of Fox News most prized props for misinformation he oversees as sheriff one of the deadliest jails in the country and for that he has legislators in his state asking that he be removed.

 

#hanghimbythechin

Coontestant# 5 Shaqcoon O’Neal
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 Shaq shot up the coon charts in 2016. His penchant for always paying homage to the police and being an honorary sheriff has always been a turn off but not enough to place him so high on the coon list or even on it at all. That was of course until her decided it prudent to give his incoherent and coonish opine on Colin Kapernick’s anthem protest on Fox & Friends of all places…
 “To each his own…I don’t really have a say on it, but I would never do that. My father was a military man, and you know, he protected this country. Uncles are in law enforcement, you know, they go out and work hard every day..People like Muhammad Ali and Bill Russell, they were one way their whole career. You can’t show us something, and then go to another just because of certain issues”~ Shaq
 Nigga what?!?!
What makes Shaq’s commentary so egregiously coonish is the fact that he’s part of the .001 percent of Black Americans. Unlike most of the coons that routinley grind our gears he’s far from being a mediocre negro. He literally hit the DNA lottery with his god given physique. He has zero reasons to be cooning and even less reasons to be sitting on the couch with the lame cast of Fox & Friends giving an opine on issues that require depth of understanding and nuanced thought. Big duffus has a PHD yet he let three stoogers from Fox News walk him into talking himself out of his black card.
#thebigcoon
Coontestant#4 Charles Barkley
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 Shaq’s partner in coon has much more experience in the area of catering to the angst ridden ego of white males so his offenses to black people and black culture is far less shocking. For him to out rank so many other certified coons he would however have to coon harder than he did in years past. Never one to back down from a challenge Barkley with the help of TNT put on a classical coon performance.
TNT has a 6 part series airing early in 2017 titled “The Race Card” which is a discussion around the hot-button issues that cause and comprise the strained racial relations in today’s America and they tapped Charles Barkley of all people to host the program. They might as well have named it “TNT Trolls Black America” because that is essentially what happened on the first stop of Coon conductor Charles. The first stop was in Baltimore Maryland and it came on the heels of a justice department report that highlighted systemic abuses of the residents of Baltimore at the hands of Baltimore City police. Charles however did not want to talk about that. He instead chastised the audience for not expressing condolences for 4 officers that were killed earlier in the week in other parts of the country. Needless to say that did not go very well. He ended up having  to be ushered out by security because they were big mad.
#chuckcoon
Coontestant # 3 Ben Carson
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 Dr. Ben Carson is the only coon on the Trump train that was able to engineer for himself a a cabinet position. Being a renowned brain surgeon one would think that naturally he’s be tapped to be the surgeon general. Not in Trumps White House. Carson was instead tapped to head up the department of housing and urban development, something he has next to no clue about. Other than the fact that he’s black and hails from the inner city he is qualified to run HUD in Trumpian thought. Why? Because when they gut the agency render it totally useless they will be able to point to their black token as the cause to shield them from claims of racism.
#coondoctor
Coontestant# 2 Ray Lewis
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 17 years ago Ray Lewis while partying at the Super Bowl in Atlanta with his boys got into some sort of conflict with two men who were both subsequently stabbed to death. Both of the victims blood made it’s way into Ray’s limo and the all white suit that his bama ass was wearing on that cold January day vanished from the face of the earth. Now I’m not calling Ray Lewis and murderer but that is what he was charged with and there was far more evidence linking him to the murders of Jacinth Baker and Richard Lollar than there was evidence linking OJ Simpson to the murders of Ron Goldman and Nicole Brown. Despite the damning evidence and in the case of his Easter Sunday suit the lack there of Ray was acquitted of all charges. By the court or law and by the court of ubiquitous negro opinion. To most of white America however he was still a thug unworthy of playing in the NFL. So he went from Ray Lewis the typical bad boy from the University of Miami to Creflo Dollar Jr with the extra preachy super annoying disposition. Yet and still most from the Negro delegation even still.  That obviously did not ingratiate himself enough with white America because in more recent years he’s incorporated some serious respectability negro politics into his spiel.
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  He started with making a bunch of lame videos appealing to the youth of Baltimore to behave and not riot in the face of police abuse then slowly but surely went full blown coon on us with several appearances on The Undisputed  hosted by fellow coon Jason Whitlock where they formed the greatest black tag team duo since Rocky Johnson and Tony Atlas manned the squared circle. The Colin Kapernick story gave this tag team duo all kinds of coon life but that was just a warm up for Ray Ray. He too took the infamous walk of shame photo op at Trump Towers. But unlike Kanye, Jim Brown and Steve Harvey Ray looked like he was quite conformable in that setting.
 #rayraythemurdererliarandcoon
 Coon of the Year: Omarosa
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 This she devil right here is the most dangerous and despicable black woman in America–the world even.  She’s Kelly-Ann Conway with melanin and a functioning brain. She’s #blackgirlrocks minus a conscious.
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This cold calculating shrew is Donald Trumps bottom bitch and director of  African-American coon outreach for his administration. She’s the cunning concubine of the slave master… .
Ernistine.jpeg
 …but don’t mistake her for Ernestine.
 She’s much closer to the type of concubine that you’d find on the Candy land Plantation. You know the type that can’t live without master.
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 The truly unfortunate thing about her is the fact that she is smart, highly ambitious and talented. She knows more than the average coon and even more than the man that pays her a hansom  ransom to corral and create more coons. She’s gonna make coons out of a lot of men these next four years. I pray that in the next few years she does not morph into some sort of role model for the young black, melaninated  and impressionable young girls coming up. It’s bad enough that we have an avalanche of black men bending over backwards and forwards to appease the white male supremacist ethos that infects America. The last thing we need is a role model for young black girls to think it prudent to do the same. So while there’s no denying her drive and black girl magic, the fact that she uses her powers for evil purposes we’re going to have to shelve celebrating her achievements during the month of February.
#wedontneedanothercondi

The Carnival Coon Cruise: Top 100 Coons of 2016 Part One of Two (100-50)

2016 has been quite a coontastic year. i’m talking vintage.  So much so that we had to trade in the coon train  for a vessel much larger to accommodate all of them.  Cooning has become an epidemic in America and it is important that we in the non-cooning negro community collectively rebuke such behavior whenever it occurs. As with anything else there are levels to coonery. These first set of 50 coons are what we call somewhat redeemable coons. Particularly the first 20-30. The closer to the number one spot they get the less redeemable they get.
So with out further ado here are your top 100 coons for 2016 (the first 50)
 Coontestants# 100-91: Mainstream black media members Donna Brazille, Al Sharpton, Karen Finney, Toure, Jonathan Capehart, Eugene Robinson, Harold Ford,  Joy Reid, Don Lemon and Juan Williams
The black members of the mainstream media serve a very purposeful role and that is to correct the myriad false narratives bantered about in the ether and more importantly to  better inform black people so that as a community we’d be able to make the best decisions possible–particularly at the ballot box. All of these members of the mainstream press checked their journalistic integrity and intellectual honesty at the door and for the most part became defacto campaign surrogates for Hillary Clinton. They did not challenge any of the false narratives, half truths or out right myths surrounding her coronation  to the Democratic nomination  which in turn fed her false sense of invincibility in the general election. These ten members of the mainstream media as much as anyone else in media are responsible for the incoming idiot in chief. In 2017 lets not rely on these characters to bring us the news we need. In the very least look at each of them with a more cautious eye while holding them to higher standards as I believe they all could do better.
Coontestants#92-83:  The  Seahawks response to Colin Kapernicks national anthem protest
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Built as the perfect response to the all the illogical acrimony directed at Colin Kapernick for taking a stand these dudes came out with the ultimate all lives matter gesture. We’re not going to ding the entire 55 man roster but I’m certain at least 10 brothers on that squad co-signed this bullshit.
Coontestant #82: Fantasia
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Fantasia’s went all All Lives Matter on us. Even after Anthony Hamilton and the other entertainers on this list rejected the naming and intentions of this flier for the canceled project she and her husband doubled down on why the failed venture was not a failed idea.
Coontestant#81 Mary J Blige
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Mary sang the blues to Madam Secretary.  The only thing more cooney than her singing Negro spirituals  to Hillary would be if she broke out into her famous crispy chicken jingle.
Coontestant#80: Laila Ali
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Laila too went all lives matter on us and was unabashed about it. I suspect that there was heavy wind when that apple fell off the tree.

“Yes, black lives matter. Yes, white lives matter, asian lives matter. All lives matter…And that’s kind of what my focus is. But it’s hard because, you know, you’ve got sponsors and you’ve got this and you’ve got that. And you don’t want to step on anybody’s toes. And you’re trying to be politically correct, but at the same time trying to uplift your people.~ Laila Ali

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Coontestants#79-73 “The Mothers of the Movement”

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I know I’m wrong for calling these women out because they have suffered immeasurable pain and paid the ultimate sacrifice. I’m just going to have to be wrong because their chitterling circuit tour for Hillary during primary voting throughout the south was blatant and obvious cooning. The irony of Miss “Bring those super predators to heel” herself co-opting the BLM movement for the sole purpose of winning an election is too egregious an offense not to make mention of. I don’t have the receipts but I’m willing to bet my last dollar that these women were paid for their endorsement and subsequent hyperbolic statements touting how much of a friend and ally to the black community that Hillary and Bill have been.  Take solace in the fact that these women remain in the redeemable category.
Coontestant#72 Sage Steele
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As if this shirt was not enough to land her at least honorable mention in a non vintage coon year. She’s laid her black card on the line quite a few times to justify her ticket for the Carnival Coon Cruise. Instead of elaborating on her many offenses to black sensibility I will let her pretty little mixed twitter fingers make the case instead. 
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This particular brain fart of hers was in response to Mike Evans taking a knee during the National Anthem due to his displeasure with America electing the first Man Baby to the Oval office.
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Thankfully Black Twitter was on the job and they let her know real quick that she was barking up the wrong tree.
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She needed more than 140 characters to explain away her social media faux pas so she took to Facebook to pen a response but…
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…Black Twitter was not trying to hear it
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…Black Twitter was still not having it. 
Coontestant#71 Jerry Rice
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Even though he walked back the wayward tweet it’s pretty clear that he has some strong coon proclivities. If this was 2014 or 2015 the following tweet would have placed this old washed up D list celebrity in the top 10
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Of course Black Twitter had something to say
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He was forced to walk that comment back almost as far as his hairline. 

Coontestant# 70 Victor Cruz

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As Giant fan it pains me that this dude does not get it. I’m comforted to know that he will be a salary cap casualty in the off season.

Coontestant# 69 Dennis Rodman

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Dennis makes the list for being a Trumpet…
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😦

And to that the Donald sent thanks

donald-trump-dennis-rodman
…and for being so damn forgiving and forgetful. It was only 2 years ago that the Twitter Troll Elect called him a drunken fool. 

Coontestant# 68 Fat Joe

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Joey Crack obviously forgot about his humble beginnings. Having more love for an inanimate object than you have for the plight of the community is so not hip-hop.

Coontestant# 67 Tiki Barber

tiki-barber
“I agree with his desire to continue the narrative…There are issues in this country. That, you have to commend him for. But I don’t commend him for sitting and not honoring this country and our flag.” ~ Tiki Barber

Coontestant# 66 Michael Crabtreeinthebucket

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Upon being asked about the ongoing National Anthem protests started by Colin Kapernick and this was Crabtree’s response :

“I just play football, I ain’t no Martin Luther King.”~ Michael Crabtree

Coontestestant #65 Rodney Harrison
rod-on-colin
Rodney Harrison gave perhaps the most cringe worthy response to Colin Kapeernicks National Anthem protest

 

“Obviously he has the right to stand up for what he believes, but he has to understand there are consequences and might be backlash for what he said. You know a lot of people are criticizing him — I think his heart is in the right place, I just think he was going about it in the wrong way, If he really wants to make change, sitting his butt down [during the anthem], that’s not going to change, that’s going to get people very upset and he has to understand that. If you think sitting during the national anthem, a lot of people really served before his time, now, trying to give him the freedoms and the liberties that he has … and I tell you this, I’m a black man. And Colin Kaepernick — he’s not black. He can not understand what I face and what other young black men and black people face, or people of color face, on a every single [day] basis. When you walk in a grocery store, and you might have $2,000 or $3,000 in your pocket and you go up in to a Foot Locker and they’re looking at you like you about to steal something. I don’t think he faces those types of things.” ~ Rodney Harrison

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Of course Black Twitter was fast and furious with a response

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rodney-harrison-respone-3-sage-steele-addition
Even coontestant #72 Sage Steele took umbrage with the level of coonery that he had on display. You know you ran afoul of the black sensibilities when a fellow coonite calls you out for cooning. #coononcooncrimeforthewin
Coontestant# 64 Charlemagne
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“Would be dope if a young black or Hispanic ‘WOKE’ woman used social media to create a Platform to be a voice like Tomi Lahren did.” ~ Charlamagne The God Gump
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As one would expect such an errant tweet directly into the belly of the beast created a firestorm of clap backs aimed straight for the jugular.
charlamagane-response-2
As evidenced by how resonate the #blacklivesmatter hash tag has been since its inception black women have an extremely powerful presence on twitter and throughout the social media stratosphere. Perhaps if Charalamagne and his Breakfast Club Cohorts  coonhorts would extend invitations to more of these black female movers and shakers their intellectual properties could as well permeate the mainstream media and be monetized as is the case for his bff Tomi Lauren who herself is a halfwit. 

Coontestant# 63 DJ Envy

dj-envy
As if Charlemagne’s fixation with the bigoted blonde bimbo was not bad enough, his partner in coon went even harder against the grain of black struggle in AmeriKKKa. After Donald Trump in the national debate the night before extolled the virtues and worth of the racist ‘Stop & Frisk’ policies practiced by NYPD DJ Envy co-signed him and its use.

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Did I mention that I love Black Twitter?
Coontestant#62 Stephen A Smith
stephen-a-smithStephen A Smith who cracked the top ten in years past was not even supposed to make the list this year because for the most part in 2016 he practiced reasonably responsible journalism. That was until he lost his mind over the fact that Colin Kapernick did not vote. Here’s a dude (Colin Kapernick) that donated over 1 million dollars in 2016 to causes that help uplift the poor black and brown and this coon is brow beating him because he did not vote for either of the two candidates that have more than proven to not have the best interest of the community in heart mind and agenda.
in his own words:

“As far as I’m concerned Colin Kaepernick is absolutely irrelevant, I don’t want to hear a damn word about anything that he has to say about our nation, the issues that we have, racial injustices, needing change, et cetera, et cetera…He comes across as a flaming hypocrite as far as I’m concerned. I’m not interested in a damn word that he has to say and quite frankly I hope he goes away, He’s lucky to be in the league right now…And Colin Kaepernick after all this noise that you’ve made, even though you didn’t intend to do so by offending our military service men and women. And pointing out about how you wanted to bring attention to racial injustices and beyond that’s in this country. To turn around and not to even take your behind to the polls to vote for a particular candidate–it is shameful. Absolutely shameful, Him of all people, because of the position he took, because of the attention he brought to the issues, the fact that he doesn’t have the decency to go to the polls and activate yourself in this election (as our president said) is a damn shame…I don’t want to hear another word from Colin Kaepernick. It’s a waste of time. [As] a matter of fact, I would personally make a request to the media in this nation: Wherever he is, if he ain’t on that football field trying to throw another damn incomplete pass, do me a favor and make sure of one thing, take the camera away from him. It means nothing. Because for him not to vote, as far as I’m concerned, everything he said meant absolutely nothing. Absolutely nothing. I don’t want to hear another damn word from him. Nothing.”  ~Stephen A Smith                                                                                                                                                                           .

Coontestant#61 Venus Williams
venus-and-serena
After her sister Serena took to Facebok and penned a heartfelt missive about her concerns about the ongoing injustices  dealt to black people at the hands of police and municipal governments Venus was asked her thoughts. And lets just say her opine was not Black Twitter approved..
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Coontestants 60-58 Elijah Cummings, James Clyburn and John Lewis
These three “distinguished gentlemen” underscore the fecklessness and ineffectual direction that the Congressional Black Caucus has long been going in. Once billed as the conscience of the congress the CBC just like these three bozos are bought and paid entities of America’s corporate overlords. No longer are they in congress to serve the people. They are there to enrich themselves and hold on to their seats. It’s high time they all be replaced by some new blood.

 

Coontestant#57 Lil Bow Wow

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Read from the bottom up to get the full gist of his coonery
Coontestant#56 Dorsey Montgomery
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This natural born coon was unfortunately the only hope that black people and people of good conscious had to get any semblance of justice in the State of SC vs Michael Slager. Needless to say he was a failure. As the jury foreman his job was to corral the jury members and lean on the letter of the laws of the state to find justice. It has become crystal clear that he had neither the wherewithal nor intention of doing such a thing . The talk show circuit tour that he went on post trial was as confusing as it was bemusing.
Coontestant# 55 Young Thug
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After this roach impersonator arrived after the 45 minute cut off to board his flight he offered the two black female ticket agents 15k to accept being terminated as they broke protocol and allowed him on his flight. They rightly refused and he went on a tirade berating the young women calling them Africans, peasants and more. He did all of this while filming it for Instagram. 
Coontestant# 54 Kevin Gates
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On the heels of all the protests surrounding the murders of Alton Sterling and  Philando Castile, this is what Kevin Gates had to say:
“We kill each other. I’m talking about we lay up under each other’s cars, lay behind each other’s houses then whip by, boom boom, kill everybody in the car…but as soon as a white boy kills one of us, everybody go to hoopin’ and hollerin’ and all that old stupid-ass shit …That’s bullshit. When you stand for something, you’ve got t[o] stand for it all the way, not half way.” ~ Kevin Gates
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That was all of course before he was sentenced to six months for a brutal stage kick to the face and chest of one of his young and misguided female fans. Who just so happened to have been black.

Coontestant# 53 Trick Daddy

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Trick daddy set the internet ablaze with a viral video rant about how black women were losing their footing and needed to tighten their shit up less they be passed over for white and Latina women. And boy oh boy the clap back came fast and furious.

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Coontestant#52 Tommy Sotomeyer

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Tommy has been cooning for clicks for quite sometime  and has made honorable mention more than a couple of years. He’s a black man that has built his brand on berating black women on Youtube and other social media spaces.

Back in July he got into a fender bender with a black woman and after the sister questioned why he was recording her he says this:

“That’s the problem with Black women right there, they talk, “This is why nobody likes these Black whores. Look at her. Black whores. Black whores. Get out my face, though, bitch. I’ll whip yo muthafuckin ass…I don’t like Black bitches, anyway. Bye, broke bitch. My car cost more than your house, bitch. My car cost more than your house, bitch. You don’t know who you talking to. Watch when you find yourself online.”~ Tommy Sotomoyer

The video went viral as he intended but the blow back for his cooning for clicks shenanigans was too much for him to handle hence he used his platform for the first time to speak highly of black women where he pulled the “I never had a father” card. Of course we all know that the apology was bullshit but that is a testament to how much of a bully pulpit the Twitter verse can be when properly leveraged. Another win for Black Twitter but I will say this. It really is time to start giving eye jammies to these brothers out here that think it prudent to be so overtly disrespectful to black women as he and a number of the coons that made this list have been.

 

Coontestant# 51 Rza

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The Rza who we now know is anything but a genius had this to say regarding the on going problem of police killing unarmed black people:
 “If I’m a cop and every time I see a young black youth, whether I watch them on TV, movies, or just see them hanging out, and they’re not looking properly dressed, properly refined, you know, carrying himself, conducting himself proper hours of the day — things that a man does, you’re going to have a certain fear and stereotype of them…I tell my sons, I say, ‘if you’re going somewhere, you don’t have to wear a hoodie — we live in New York, so a hoodie and all that is all good. But sometimes, you know, button up your shirt. Clean up. Look like a young man. You’re not a little kid.” ~Rza
What makes his statement so eggregious is the fact that as one of the founding members of the Wu Tang Clan and the so-called genius of the group he made his living off of urban wears and urban vernacuilar. Now that he’s hanging out with Russell Crow and the Hollywood Click he wants to go all rescpctable Negroe on us.
Coontestant#50 Wendy Williams
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Jesse Williams after winning the Humanitarian Award from BET gave a moving and memorable speech about social justice amd social activism. His speech and sentiments trended for miles. Wendy Williams who has absolutely zero depth of thought and even less consciousness had these jewels to share regarding Jesse Williams and his speech trending:

“His speech was very poignant, on one hand. On the other hand, you know, I would be really offended if there was a school that was known as a historically White college. We have historically Black colleges. What if it was the National Organization for White People only? There’s the NAACP.”~ Wendy Williams

 After a noticeably silent gasp of her normally gregarious audience she goes:
“Look everybody’s quiet. You’re leaving me out here to dry by myself?”
 Now a normal dummy, even with coon tendencies would take that silent queue as a hint that they should probably quit while they are ahead and switch up the conversation. But not Wendy Williams. She’s a special kind of stupid. She goes on to say:
“National speeches like this always rub people the wrong way. Just like White people will be offended because Spelman College is a historically Black college for women. You might feel funny about that. I know I’d feel funny like I just told you. If there was a White college or whatever.”

Twitter eat her ass up so bad that that Chevrolet who previously helped underwrite her show dropped her.

 

Why Donald Trump won the 1st presidential debate

This country is full of stupid white people who are moved by the ridiculously racist antics of Trump. The fact that he comported himself as a 5 year old that got left back in the terrible two’s stage of life (3 times) does not deter them from going to the polls in record numbers to vote him in. After all they do share his dominant worldview.  Hillary on the other hand did not have the benefit of such a low bar. She was tasked with winning over the higher minded voter. You know the not so racist person that actually reads, writes and has comprehensive skills beyond an 8th grade level? And while she did not do terrible she did not necessarily win over any new converts from that seemingly fleeting American demographic.

NAFTA and even the pending TPP deal is an obvious Achilles heel for her. She needs to stay humble on those topics and even evade them if she can (actually we know she can).  She also needs to stop touting her husbands legacy because even Donald is not that dumb that he can’t flip the negative reverberations from his legacy as he seamlessly did last night. He dinged her on trade deals and even criminal justice–even as he threw his rabidly racist rascals a bone with his law and order quips(code word for keep on killing the da blacks).

Hillary on the other hand only tacitly admitted that there’s a serious problem with the justice system. The Fraternal Order of Police has already come out in full force for Trump so she needs to rid her self of the propensity to straddle that fence. They are not fucking with her so she needs to stop trying to curry favor with them and the assholes that they serve, protect and coddle AND the assholes that look upon the injustices perpetrated against people as color as no big deal. If she is to win this race she needs to do away with her politics of yesteryear and tap into the “real talk” politics of today. The kind of real talk that Obama has sort of introduced and that Bernie Sanders has doubled down on. If I was advising Hillary’s campaign NWA’s Fuck The Police would be the new campaign theme song. In other words I would have her cease and desist her strategy of reaching out to the ignoble white male demographic and instead have her speak to the broader coalition of voters that have kept President Obama in office for the past 8 years. The Clintonian coalition that Slick Willie rode to two terms no longer exists and I’m not sure that she understand this fact.

S/N: Bernie Sanders would have cleaned his clock last night. If she loses to this asshole. Don’t blame Jill, don’t blame the Bernie Bros or none of the bullshit excuses that have been senselessly bantered about in the ether. Blame team #imwithher because the same polls that has her struggling with this arrested in adolescent development ass hat had him several points ahead in all of the swing states. who-really-lost

S/N2: WTF was up with all that damn sniffling Donald was doing last night? That dude was snorting snot like Tony Montana snorted coke. Yuck!

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S/N3: Never trust a  Lester to do a mans job (or a woman’s)

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I ain’t Mad At’Cha Bro: Open letter to Ryan Lochte

Dear Ryan,

You been taking a lot of heat for your recent shenanigans in Rio but I wanted you to know that this angry black guy is not the least bit mad at you bro. In fact I kind of appreciate you and the rest of the bros going to Brazil and doing your bro thing. You really showed them what America  white America is all about. You should be in the Broham Hall of fame for  what you did before and after that encounter with that Brazilian gas station bathroom (that had the audacity to be closed when the bros needed it most) was more American White American than eating apple pie during the seventh inning stretch of a Boston Red Sox vs New Yankees  game while some C-list celebrity sings Take me out to the Ball game (followed by God bless America).

ryan and boys

ryan and matt

Seriously bro–you dudes were on some certified American exceptionalism type shit and I applaud your high level of keeping it realness. Now you may think I’m being facetious for applauding you for keeping in real when it is crystal clear that you were lying through your Speedos when you claimed that you were robbed by some locals in Brazil but lets be real– You are not the first white dude that blamed a crime on some phantom colored person to escape the wrath of a society that sometimes forgets that with privilege comes an opt out clause when it comes to accountability. Their fault not yours bro, because this practice of evading responsibility for ones acts or inventing facts to coincide with a specific narrative is as old as the America (s)that Christopher Columbus “discovered”. I mean did Brain Williams & Hillary Clinton really come under sniper fire as they publicly claimed? All indications are they both lied– or as your boy Billy Bush would say embellished when speaking on their  dalliances with war zones.

Brian is still passed off as one of the most trusted names in media and Hillary barring a catastrophic upset from an even more duplicitous white American is on her way to becoming the first female president of these United states. So why should you apologize for simply being a typical American white male with access to fame and fortune? And who is Al Roker to judge you? He of all people should understand that you were well within your rights to trash a bathroom in Brazil for not being open when you needed it; lie about the facts of the case before fleeing the country without giving your fellow bros a heads up. I mean they’re good ole American white boys too–not your fault that they were slow to play their white privilege card. Speaking of Al Roker word on the street (actually word from the NY Post) is that he was reprimanded for his public rebuke of yourself so ignore that brother–he obviously does not get the fact that you are a white dude fully cloaked in and protected by the  umbrella of white supremacy/white privilege and that even though Tamir Rice (12), Trayvon Martin (17) and Mike Brown (18) were all considered men by the mainstream media that reported their justified murders, at 32 and in a third world nation full of scary brown people you and the bros are still just kids doing what kids do. And while Ralph Lauren and a few other sponsors dropped you for your “youthful” indiscretions thankfully Dancing with the Stars still honors your privilege card. So ignore all of the naysayers that say that you embarrassed America over in Brazil. You did not embarrass America you showed them the true America. Your actions in Brazil and subsequent non-plausible denials was the best representation of America put on display in the Olympics. At least the most accurate representation. Sure there was a whole lot of #blackgirlmagic on display over the course of the last few weeks in Rio but…

…none of the precious medal winning performances by Allyson Felix (track & field), Brianna Rollins (track & field)  Claressa Shields (boxing), Gabby Douglas (gymnastics) Daliliah Muhammad (track & field),  Kristi Castlin (track & field), Nia Ali (track & field) Michelle Carter (shot put) Ibtihaj Muhammad (fencing), Simone Biles (gymnastics) or Simone Manuel (swimming) at the end of the day matter. They do not hail from or represent the America that you do bro.  You represent exactly what the median white id looks like. The Ryan Locthe ethose is what America Murica is made of. You are what all lives and blue lives matter is made of. You are who both Donald Trump and Hillary for that matter represent. You are  America bro. And I ain’t mad at you one bit!

 

Signed,

The Angry Black guy (but not at you bro)

 

PS Al Roker keep on stirring your drink bruh. I get what you really mean to say 😉

 

 

 

 

Chess > Checkers: The case for the 3rd party black vote

Rarely do we find men who willingly engage in hard, solid thinking. There is an almost universal quest for easy answers and half-baked solutions. Nothing pains some people more than having to think ~ Martin Luther King Jr.

Chess is a thinking persons  game. It’s a long game–one in which you have to see past  your next several moves in order to stay ahead and eventually win. Politics just like chess is a long game and one that if it is to be played to win must involve an actual strategy. Voting for the lesser of two evils is not a strategy–not even in checkers. So in this political game of chess how are we going to ever win if we keep on employing a strategy that’s not even helpful in a lesser game?

It’s high time we abandon the failed strategies of the past and disabuse the kind of expedient measures that continue to net undesirable results. It really is okay to NOT be with her OR him.

A vote for Jill Stein knowing that she stands no chance of winning is not just an emotional response from progressive minded voters disenchanted with the Clinton Machine and the dubious at best democratic primary process. It’s also a strategy. It’s far from a guaranteed strategy   that will immediately pay dividends but if played correctly it’s a low risk high reward (even if it’s down the road) strategy that will only strengthen our collective hand in future elections and more importantly empower future generations that will be able to build on the strategic moves that we have in our power to make.

If you live in a deep red state like Alabama or Arkansas theoretically you’re throwing your vote away by voting for anyone but Trump because nobody not named Donald J Trump is going to win those two states and other similar states where Neanderthals comprise the median voting demographic.  Similarly If you vote in a deep blue state like Connecticut, Maryland or Vermont you can as well afford to make more of a statement with a third party vote because if you vote for the only candidate that’s gonna win those respective states (Hillary) the exit polls will serve as consent for every policy initiative that comes across her desk.  Good, bad, ugly and down right evil .
Elections today are 24/7/365 so the minute Hillary takes the oath of office she will be campaigning for 2020. If her internal pollsters find  that the overwhelming majority of people in America who are not certified coons, jack asses or bigots (the typical Trump constituent) approve of not only her hawkish proclivities but also her her neo-liberal agenda  guess what? It will be full steam ahead with the enactment of them. That is not winning.  If on the other hand those exit polls reflect a sizable portion of the reliably democratic electorate that remains averse to her brand of politic she would be forced legislatively to the left in the same manner in which the Bernie Sanders run forced her campaign style to the left.

I get the fear of a Trump presidency. I’m in no way suggesting that everyone gamble on a Green party political novice to risk giving the white house to the greater evil (on paper and public perception wise). What I am suggesting is that you make your vote really count. As black people we are the most solid monolithic voting black in America yet we remain the most under represented sub groups in the country. That is primarily because we are not strategic in our voting or thinking.

We need and deserve a  #blacklivesmatter approved candidate. They don’t necessarily have to be black but their policy positions and worldview needs to be aligned with the movement.  The only way that we are ever going to see such a candidate like that see a viable route to a nomination is if we demand it. As a people we cannot throw 85 -90 percent of our vote to Hillary Clinton. That will in no way make her a better president and more importantly it will in no way improve the  state of Black America. If you live in Florida, Ohio, Virginia, Nevada or any other swing state by all means–be with her! Vote for Hillary. But if you live in the south where Hillary stands no chance it is not a gamble to vote third party. If you live in a deep blue state there is no harm in not allowing her to run up the numbers on Trump. At the end of the day it  is not about him so much as it is about keeping him out of office–but that can’t be the only goal and if it remains the only goal at best we are at a stalemate. At worst and more probable we lose.

denzel chess

5 Reasons why we should bury the term GOAT along with the GOAT (Muhammad Ali)

As we say  goodbye to the greatest for good we should also say goodbye for good to the term GOAT (save for conversations about Ali). Muhammad Ali embodied the term and it’s less than respectful to his legacy to bestow such a hollowed moniker on any other athlete or entertainer–especially those who have done little outside of their master craft to measure up to what the champ did outside of his day job. So in honor of the GOAT’s passing here are five (of many) reasons why no one should ever be refereed to as the greatest of all time ever again…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

1. He created the term

I shook up the world

On February 25, 1964 after the artist formally known as Cassius Clay stopped the heavily favored Sonny Liston in seven rounds he took to ring center and proclaimed that he was the greatest and that he shook up the world. Little did anyone know that this young brash 22 year old was not just smack talking and would go on to embody both the term “I Am the greatest” and the act of shaking up a world in need of shaking. Ali through the years had trials and tribulations that put to test his greatness and at every turn he would remind friend and foe alike that he was indeed the greatest of all time. You will be hard pressed to find an utterance of that  verbatim prior to Ali saying so. Therefore he’s the standard bearer of what the GOAT should look, sound and act like.

2. His convictions were not compromised by public opinion, monetary gain or even peer pressure from his contemporaries

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Muhammad Ali’s refusal to be drafted into the Army during the Vietnam war and the revocation of his title for it is well chronicled. One of the more poignant photos from that period of his life is the one where he is surrounded by some of his contemporary greats including Bill Russell, Jim Brown and Lew Alcinder. The misconception is that they were there to support Ali and his defiant stance against the war. The truth is they were actually there to do the opposite. The private meeting was to convince him to enlist and to assure him that he would not be going to war but instead would serve as an ambassador to it and a morale booster to the troops in much the same way that Joe Louis was used during World War II.  Ali who was far less educated than all of the men in attendance  (in a formal sense) had a rebuttal for each and every point they brought up. He went on an almost two hour filibuster going into great detail why he would not be supporting the Vietnam war or enlisting.  He won over the well meaning yet naive greats and forced them to reexamine their tacit support of the war. So much so that Lew Alcindor followed the path of Cassius Clay and retired his slave name a couple years later.

3. Ali Spoke truth to power instead of seceding to the powers that be.

Muhammad speaks truth to power

There has never been an athlete before or since Muhammad Ali that has had the courage to speak truth to power. He did not shrink, bow or take a back seat to white supremacy. He confronted the white supremacist construct with as much confidence and zeal as he confronted his opponents in the ring. His defiant stance in media gave a nation (within a larger more hostile nation) of millions courage and pride. It inspired protest and affirmed the fact that we as a people are great. He was not worried about endorsement dollars. In fact he knew that it would be more lucrative for him to go along to get along just as pretty much every athlete today does but he remained steadfast and fearless.

4. He was not trans-racial and did not transcend race. He was unapologetically Black.

 

Jackie Robinson, Joe Louis,  and Jesse Owens were phenomenal athletes that paved the way for Muhammad and others to thrive in the sports arena. By extension they paved the way for black people to more equitably integrate in to all levels of sports, entertainment, business and academia because they humanized blacks in the minds of millions of white Americans that saw (and treated us) as less than. Jackie, Joe, and Jesse were not a black mans black man though. At least not publicly. They were the white mans black men and while I completely understand the precarious line that they had to walk they lacked the intestinal fortitude of Muhammad Ali who made the conscious decision to be the black mans black man. Before him on the national sports scene there was none and sadly no such an athlete has come after him. Muhammad Ali’s embrace of his blackness was so real and so authentic that white people loved and respected him for it (the ones that did not hate him for it).

Michael Jordan  is widely considered the GOAT in basketballcentric conversations. However he was as bad off the court about being a strong black man that took strong black stances as he was good at dominating the league over the span of his playing career. Michael Jordan was arguably a greater basketball player on the court than Ali was a boxer in the ring but his sheer cowardice as it pertained being a black mans black man exempts him from legitimately  holding the GOAT title. Micheal Jordan was famously asked in 1990 to endorse a black man running for the US Senate by the name of Harvey Gantt. Gantt at the time was trying to unseat one of the most rabidly racist and regressive US Senators since reconstruction by the name of Jesse Helms (NC). Michael Jordan’s response to the endorsement request was “Republicans buy sneakers too”.  MJ was the closest athlete to reaching the world wide recognition as Ali. Black America could have really used from MJ in the 80’s and 90’s the kind of unapologetic blackness that Ali gave to black America during his prime. He chose to do the opposite therefore he’s much closer to being a goat than the GOAT.

 

5. He is the father of rap music and by extension the hip-hop culture

 

DJ Kool Herc is the father of hip-hop. Muhammad  Ali however is the father of rap. The only thing missing from the punch lines, similes and analogies inherent in his prophetic and poetic proclamations were bars and hooks.  The precocious and braggadocios rhymes  that Ali spit was primordial hip-hop. In fact it was hip-hop (LL Cool Jay) that actually coined the acronym GOAT. And while LL is not the GOAT he is Ali. Jay Z is Ali, Ice Cube is Ali. Scar Face is Ali.Biggie was Ali, Tupac was Ali. Fuck being like Mike, Be like Ali. The one and ONLY GOAT.

 

 

STOP THE MADNESS: The mothers of Trayvon Martin, Sandra Bland, Eric Garner, Jordan Davis and Dontre Hamilton are NOT the Mothers of the Movement

I’m probably gonna ruffle a few feathers with this one but someone has to do it. It has to  be said and overstated that The grieving mothers of Trayvon Martin, Sandra Bland, Eric Garner, Jordan Davis,  Dontre Hamilton and Mike Brown are nothing close to being the mothers of any kind of movement and to label them as such for the express purpose of getting Hillary Clinton elected  president is as embarrassing as it is offensive. Offensive and embarrassing to the untold mothers who have had to bury their sons and daughters due to an encounter with an overzealous  non-empathetic cop and  offensive and embarrassing to the millions of people from all walks of life that have taken to the streets with myriad acts of civil defiance  seeking redress for the long standing and ongoing grievance of state, local and federal police officers abusing their authority and murdering innocent unarmed black people with impunity.

When Hillary was not on the chitterling circuit  with these mothers shoring up her southern  firewall (also known as the black vote) she was in the homes of the other half of her southern constituency (Dixicrats) raising funds and talking about “the issues”

The two diametrically opposed dispositions by Hillary Clinton in the last two videos is rivaled in galling political pivots only by the great feat that her husband pulled off in June of 1992 while he himself was on the stump. During Bill Clinton’s  first bid for the white house  he played the saxophone on the Arsenio Hall Show to illustrate how down he was with the blacks and ten days later at a Rainbow Coalition event using Jesse Jackson as a backdrop he conflated an  out of context a musing by Sister Souljah with some of the lyrics in one of her songs to build up a black radical  boogey monster  that he was there to destroy. He actually compared her to David Duke to an audience full of black people. Of course his true audience were not the black folks sitting in attendance.

bill plays the sax
June 3, 1992: Bill playing the sax on Arsenio Hall letting the good black voters of the 90’s know that he can shuck and jive with the best of them
bill clinton disses sister souljah
June 13, 1992: Bill Clinton using his invitation to a Rainbow Coalition Convention to assure the soccer moms and NASCAR dads of America that he is willing ready and able to put black folks in their place as Jesse Jackson looks on in bemusement.

To be clear the movement that they are referring to as being the progeny of these women is the #blacklivesmatter movement. And to be even more clear it is a movement  that the murders of the children of these women no doubt helped buoy and embolden. For that these women should be recognized for as having paid the ultimate sacrifice. No mother should have to endure what Sybrina Fulton, (mother Trayvon Martin), Lucia McBath,  (mother of Jordan Davis), Geneva Reed-Veal, (mother of Sandra Bland), Gwen Carr, (mother of Eric Garner), Maria Hamilton( mother of Dontre Hamilton) Samaria Rice (mother of Tamir Rice) or Lesley McSpadden (mother of Mike Brown) have had to endure. All of these women are inextricably linked to the movement due to their involuntarily blood sacrifice, but to call these grieving mothers the mothers of the actual movement is to deeply discount the millions of black mothers before them that have lost their children to state sanctioned and/or white vigilante violence. Before these women there was Mammy Till, mother or Emmit Till, Eloise Glover, mother of Clifford Glover, Kaddiatou Diallo, mother of Amadou Diallo, Valarie Bell, mother of Sean Bell and hundreds and even thousands of other mothers in the last decade alone that walked the same precarious walk that these mothers have had to. For these women to sell out their share of the movement for the perks and pittance that only a Super Pack with tons of dark money can afford is unconscionable. And no, I don’t have proof that this group of grieving mothers were paid for their less than logical endorsement but I’m pretty sure that they were.

The true irony in  the Stockholm like love that Hillary is getting from the “Mothers of the Movement” and the millions of other less than enlightened black politicos, pundits and voters that have her well on the way to the democratic presidential nomination is that she has successfully  latched herself on to a movement created to abate a problem that she and her husband greatly exacerbated while Bill Clinton was president and she was the first lady touting his “tough on crime” legislative goals.

Mike Browns mother Lesley McSppaden encapsulates the kind of incongruity inherent in the logic of these mothers “I’m with her” proclamation with this ringing yet confusing endorsement.

Since August 9, 2014, I have wondered where do we go from here? I have made it this far by my faith, but we need more than faith. Our criminal justice system is broken and damaged, and it left broken hearts and damage in our communities. Fixing this will require time and commitment of someone who wants to make things better for us all. I want a leader who is willing to take the steps to reform a justice system that dehumanized my son. I want a leader who will now honor my son’s life and fights for our children’s futures. I want a justice system that is fundamentally based on fairness for everyone…This election season, we are at battle for the soul of our nation…if we want to continue to build on the progress made by our country, we need a president who is ready to lead–and I trust Hillary” ~ Lesley McSppaden

Ms. McSppaden seems to have a solid grasp on the kind of cultural construct in law enforcement that deems it prudent to dehumanize and over criminalize black people to justify their lethal method of policing but she seems totally oblivious to the not so hidden political forces that empower them. For every 100 police officers that have said “I feared for my life” or “he reached for my gun” to explain away them shooting to death an unarmed African-American there’s at least that many politicians on the local, state and national level pushing the kind of hyper-criminalized trope to create the space for these men to continue to get away with murder. It’s no coincidence that the super predator trope was used by Darren Wilson to escape justice after he murdered her son in cold blood. I mean he did not come out and call Mike Brown a Super Predator but you’d be hard pressed to argue that he was not inferring as much after reading the following quotes of his to the grand jury that ultimatley decided that he was justified in killing McSppaden’s son.

Darren Wilson on the initial confrontation at his car:

DW: I see them walking down the middle of the street. And first thing that struck me was they’re walking in the middle of the street. I had already seen a couple cars trying to pass, but they couldn’t have traffic normal because they were in the middle, so one had to stop to let the car go around and then another car would come. And the next thing I noticed was the size of the individuals because either the first one was really small or the second one was really big...

He then grabs my door again and shuts my door. At that time is when I saw him coming into my vehicle. His head was higher than the top of my car. And I see him ducking and as he is ducking, his hands are up and he is coming in my vehicle.

I had shielded myself in this type of manner and kind of locked away, so I don’t remember seeing him come at me, but I was hit right in the side of the face with a fist. I don’t think it was a full-on swing, I think it was a full-on swing, but not a full shot. I think my arm deflected some of it, but there was still a significant amount of contact that was made to my face.

And when I grabbed him, the only way I can describe it is I felt like a five-year-old holding onto Hulk Hogan.

prosecutor/defense attorney*: Holding onto a what?

DW:Hulk Hogan, that’s just how big he felt and how small I felt just from grasping his arm.

Prosecutor/defense attorney*: And it was your opinion that you needed to pull out your weapon because why did you feel that way, I don’t want to put words in your mouth?

I felt that another one of those punches in my face could knock me out or worse. I mean it was, he’s obviously bigger than I was and stronger and the, I’ve already taken two to the face I didn’t think I would, the third one could be fatal if he hit me right.

He grabs my gun, says, “You are too much of a pussy to shoot me.” The gun goes down into my hip and at that point I thought I was getting shot. I can feel his fingers try to get inside the trigger guard with my finger and I distinctly remember envisioning a bullet going into my leg. I thought that was the next step.

Like I said, I was just so focused on getting the gun out of me. When I did get it up to this point, he is still holding onto it and I pulled the trigger and nothing happens, it just clicked. I pull it again, it just clicked again.

At this point I’m like why isn’t this working, this guy is going to kill me if he gets a hold of this gun. I pulled it a third time, it goes off. When it went off, it shot through my door panel and my window was down and glass flew out of my door panel. I think that kind of startled him and me at the same time.

Darren Wilson on what happened once he exited his vehicle:

DW: The only way I can describe it, it looks like a demon, that’s how angry he looked. He comes back towards me again with his hands up.

When I look up after that, I see him start to run and I see a cloud of dust behind him. I then get out of my car. As I’m getting out of the car I tell dispatch, “shots fired, send me more cars.”

We start running, kind of the same direction that Johnson had pointed. Across the street like a diagonal towards this, kind of like where the parking lot came in for Copper Creek Court and Canfield, right at that intersection. And there is a light pole right there, I remember him running towards the light pole.

So when he stopped, I stopped. And then he starts to turn around, I tell him to get on the ground, get on the ground.

He turns, and when he looked at me, he made like a grunting, like aggravated sound and he starts, he turns and he’s coming back towards me. His first step is coming towards me, he kind of does like a stutter step to start running. When he does that, his left hand goes in a fist and goes to his side, his right one goes under his shirt in his waistband and he starts running at me.

At this point it looked like he was almost bulking up to run through the shots, like it was making him mad that I’m shooting at him.

And the face that he had was looking straight through me, like I wasn’t even there, I wasn’t even anything in his way.

And when he gets about that 8 to 10 feet away, I look down, I remember looking at my sites and firing, all I see is his head and that’s what I shot.

I don’t know how many, I know at least once because I saw the last one go into him. And then when it went into him, the demeanor on his face went blank, the aggression was gone, it was gone, I mean I knew he stopped, the threat was stopped.

 

Again he did not call Mike Brown a super predator but he sure did describe him as such. He actually got away with telling a jury of HIS peers that Mike Brown who was unarmed and already wounded by at least one round from his .40 caliber pistol grunted at him and charged him head on before having to be put down for good with what was left in his clip. If only Mike Brown’s mother and the mothers of the other well chronicled victims of police abuse were enlightened enough to connect the dots they would know that Hillary is neither a leader or a visionary when in comes to truly understanding and rectifying the problem of our broken criminal justice system.

Hillary did not invent the Super Predator bathos and neither did Bill Clinton. They both however used it in the most insidious and political expedient ways to justify their means to an end. These mothers have every right to endorse who they wish but I don’t think that it’s too much to ask them to leave the movement out of such a dubious decision.  They certainly cannot lay claim to the “Mothers of the Movement” moniker while bestowing undue praise on the very same  people who helped necessitate the movement in the first place.

 

the real mothers of the movement
Alicia Garza, Patrisse Cullors, and Opal Tometi are the creators of the #blacklivesmatter hashtag. A hashtag that has helped galvanize and inspire millions to fight back. If there is a mother to the movement these three women are it.