The Carnival Coon Cruise: Top 100 Coons of 2016 Part One of Two (100-50)

2016 has been quite a coontastic year. i’m talking vintage.  So much so that we had to trade in the coon train  for a vessel much larger to accommodate all of them.  Cooning has become an epidemic in America and it is important that we in the non-cooning negro community collectively rebuke such behavior whenever it occurs. As with anything else there are levels to coonery. These first set of 50 coons are what we call somewhat redeemable coons. Particularly the first 20-30. The closer to the number one spot they get the less redeemable they get.
So with out further ado here are your top 100 coons for 2016 (the first 50)
 Coontestants# 100-91: Mainstream black media members Donna Brazille, Al Sharpton, Karen Finney, Toure, Jonathan Capehart, Eugene Robinson, Harold Ford,  Joy Reid, Don Lemon and Juan Williams
The black members of the mainstream media serve a very purposeful role and that is to correct the myriad false narratives bantered about in the ether and more importantly to  better inform black people so that as a community we’d be able to make the best decisions possible–particularly at the ballot box. All of these members of the mainstream press checked their journalistic integrity and intellectual honesty at the door and for the most part became defacto campaign surrogates for Hillary Clinton. They did not challenge any of the false narratives, half truths or out right myths surrounding her coronation  to the Democratic nomination  which in turn fed her false sense of invincibility in the general election. These ten members of the mainstream media as much as anyone else in media are responsible for the incoming idiot in chief. In 2017 lets not rely on these characters to bring us the news we need. In the very least look at each of them with a more cautious eye while holding them to higher standards as I believe they all could do better.
Coontestants#92-83:  The  Seahawks response to Colin Kapernicks national anthem protest
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Built as the perfect response to the all the illogical acrimony directed at Colin Kapernick for taking a stand these dudes came out with the ultimate all lives matter gesture. We’re not going to ding the entire 55 man roster but I’m certain at least 10 brothers on that squad co-signed this bullshit.
Coontestant #82: Fantasia
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Fantasia’s went all All Lives Matter on us. Even after Anthony Hamilton and the other entertainers on this list rejected the naming and intentions of this flier for the canceled project she and her husband doubled down on why the failed venture was not a failed idea.
Coontestant#81 Mary J Blige
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Mary sang the blues to Madam Secretary.  The only thing more cooney than her singing Negro spirituals  to Hillary would be if she broke out into her famous crispy chicken jingle.
Coontestant#80: Laila Ali
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Laila too went all lives matter on us and was unabashed about it. I suspect that there was heavy wind when that apple fell off the tree.

“Yes, black lives matter. Yes, white lives matter, asian lives matter. All lives matter…And that’s kind of what my focus is. But it’s hard because, you know, you’ve got sponsors and you’ve got this and you’ve got that. And you don’t want to step on anybody’s toes. And you’re trying to be politically correct, but at the same time trying to uplift your people.~ Laila Ali

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Coontestants#79-73 “The Mothers of the Movement”

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I know I’m wrong for calling these women out because they have suffered immeasurable pain and paid the ultimate sacrifice. I’m just going to have to be wrong because their chitterling circuit tour for Hillary during primary voting throughout the south was blatant and obvious cooning. The irony of Miss “Bring those super predators to heel” herself co-opting the BLM movement for the sole purpose of winning an election is too egregious an offense not to make mention of. I don’t have the receipts but I’m willing to bet my last dollar that these women were paid for their endorsement and subsequent hyperbolic statements touting how much of a friend and ally to the black community that Hillary and Bill have been.  Take solace in the fact that these women remain in the redeemable category.
Coontestant#72 Sage Steele
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As if this shirt was not enough to land her at least honorable mention in a non vintage coon year. She’s laid her black card on the line quite a few times to justify her ticket for the Carnival Coon Cruise. Instead of elaborating on her many offenses to black sensibility I will let her pretty little mixed twitter fingers make the case instead. 
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This particular brain fart of hers was in response to Mike Evans taking a knee during the National Anthem due to his displeasure with America electing the first Man Baby to the Oval office.
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Thankfully Black Twitter was on the job and they let her know real quick that she was barking up the wrong tree.
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She needed more than 140 characters to explain away her social media faux pas so she took to Facebook to pen a response but…
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…Black Twitter was not trying to hear it
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…Black Twitter was still not having it. 
Coontestant#71 Jerry Rice
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Even though he walked back the wayward tweet it’s pretty clear that he has some strong coon proclivities. If this was 2014 or 2015 the following tweet would have placed this old washed up D list celebrity in the top 10
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Of course Black Twitter had something to say
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He was forced to walk that comment back almost as far as his hairline. 

Coontestant# 70 Victor Cruz

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As Giant fan it pains me that this dude does not get it. I’m comforted to know that he will be a salary cap casualty in the off season.

Coontestant# 69 Dennis Rodman

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Dennis makes the list for being a Trumpet…
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😦

And to that the Donald sent thanks

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…and for being so damn forgiving and forgetful. It was only 2 years ago that the Twitter Troll Elect called him a drunken fool. 

Coontestant# 68 Fat Joe

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Joey Crack obviously forgot about his humble beginnings. Having more love for an inanimate object than you have for the plight of the community is so not hip-hop.

Coontestant# 67 Tiki Barber

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“I agree with his desire to continue the narrative…There are issues in this country. That, you have to commend him for. But I don’t commend him for sitting and not honoring this country and our flag.” ~ Tiki Barber

Coontestant# 66 Michael Crabtreeinthebucket

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Upon being asked about the ongoing National Anthem protests started by Colin Kapernick and this was Crabtree’s response :

“I just play football, I ain’t no Martin Luther King.”~ Michael Crabtree

Coontestestant #65 Rodney Harrison
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Rodney Harrison gave perhaps the most cringe worthy response to Colin Kapeernicks National Anthem protest

 

“Obviously he has the right to stand up for what he believes, but he has to understand there are consequences and might be backlash for what he said. You know a lot of people are criticizing him — I think his heart is in the right place, I just think he was going about it in the wrong way, If he really wants to make change, sitting his butt down [during the anthem], that’s not going to change, that’s going to get people very upset and he has to understand that. If you think sitting during the national anthem, a lot of people really served before his time, now, trying to give him the freedoms and the liberties that he has … and I tell you this, I’m a black man. And Colin Kaepernick — he’s not black. He can not understand what I face and what other young black men and black people face, or people of color face, on a every single [day] basis. When you walk in a grocery store, and you might have $2,000 or $3,000 in your pocket and you go up in to a Foot Locker and they’re looking at you like you about to steal something. I don’t think he faces those types of things.” ~ Rodney Harrison

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Of course Black Twitter was fast and furious with a response

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Even coontestant #72 Sage Steele took umbrage with the level of coonery that he had on display. You know you ran afoul of the black sensibilities when a fellow coonite calls you out for cooning. #coononcooncrimeforthewin
Coontestant# 64 Charlemagne
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“Would be dope if a young black or Hispanic ‘WOKE’ woman used social media to create a Platform to be a voice like Tomi Lahren did.” ~ Charlamagne The God Gump
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As one would expect such an errant tweet directly into the belly of the beast created a firestorm of clap backs aimed straight for the jugular.
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As evidenced by how resonate the #blacklivesmatter hash tag has been since its inception black women have an extremely powerful presence on twitter and throughout the social media stratosphere. Perhaps if Charalamagne and his Breakfast Club Cohorts  coonhorts would extend invitations to more of these black female movers and shakers their intellectual properties could as well permeate the mainstream media and be monetized as is the case for his bff Tomi Lauren who herself is a halfwit. 

Coontestant# 63 DJ Envy

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As if Charlemagne’s fixation with the bigoted blonde bimbo was not bad enough, his partner in coon went even harder against the grain of black struggle in AmeriKKKa. After Donald Trump in the national debate the night before extolled the virtues and worth of the racist ‘Stop & Frisk’ policies practiced by NYPD DJ Envy co-signed him and its use.

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Did I mention that I love Black Twitter?
Coontestant#62 Stephen A Smith
stephen-a-smithStephen A Smith who cracked the top ten in years past was not even supposed to make the list this year because for the most part in 2016 he practiced reasonably responsible journalism. That was until he lost his mind over the fact that Colin Kapernick did not vote. Here’s a dude (Colin Kapernick) that donated over 1 million dollars in 2016 to causes that help uplift the poor black and brown and this coon is brow beating him because he did not vote for either of the two candidates that have more than proven to not have the best interest of the community in heart mind and agenda.
in his own words:

“As far as I’m concerned Colin Kaepernick is absolutely irrelevant, I don’t want to hear a damn word about anything that he has to say about our nation, the issues that we have, racial injustices, needing change, et cetera, et cetera…He comes across as a flaming hypocrite as far as I’m concerned. I’m not interested in a damn word that he has to say and quite frankly I hope he goes away, He’s lucky to be in the league right now…And Colin Kaepernick after all this noise that you’ve made, even though you didn’t intend to do so by offending our military service men and women. And pointing out about how you wanted to bring attention to racial injustices and beyond that’s in this country. To turn around and not to even take your behind to the polls to vote for a particular candidate–it is shameful. Absolutely shameful, Him of all people, because of the position he took, because of the attention he brought to the issues, the fact that he doesn’t have the decency to go to the polls and activate yourself in this election (as our president said) is a damn shame…I don’t want to hear another word from Colin Kaepernick. It’s a waste of time. [As] a matter of fact, I would personally make a request to the media in this nation: Wherever he is, if he ain’t on that football field trying to throw another damn incomplete pass, do me a favor and make sure of one thing, take the camera away from him. It means nothing. Because for him not to vote, as far as I’m concerned, everything he said meant absolutely nothing. Absolutely nothing. I don’t want to hear another damn word from him. Nothing.”  ~Stephen A Smith                                                                                                                                                                           .

Coontestant#61 Venus Williams
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After her sister Serena took to Facebok and penned a heartfelt missive about her concerns about the ongoing injustices  dealt to black people at the hands of police and municipal governments Venus was asked her thoughts. And lets just say her opine was not Black Twitter approved..
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Coontestants 60-58 Elijah Cummings, James Clyburn and John Lewis
These three “distinguished gentlemen” underscore the fecklessness and ineffectual direction that the Congressional Black Caucus has long been going in. Once billed as the conscience of the congress the CBC just like these three bozos are bought and paid entities of America’s corporate overlords. No longer are they in congress to serve the people. They are there to enrich themselves and hold on to their seats. It’s high time they all be replaced by some new blood.

 

Coontestant#57 Lil Bow Wow

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Read from the bottom up to get the full gist of his coonery
Coontestant#56 Dorsey Montgomery
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This natural born coon was unfortunately the only hope that black people and people of good conscious had to get any semblance of justice in the State of SC vs Michael Slager. Needless to say he was a failure. As the jury foreman his job was to corral the jury members and lean on the letter of the laws of the state to find justice. It has become crystal clear that he had neither the wherewithal nor intention of doing such a thing . The talk show circuit tour that he went on post trial was as confusing as it was bemusing.
Coontestant# 55 Young Thug
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After this roach impersonator arrived after the 45 minute cut off to board his flight he offered the two black female ticket agents 15k to accept being terminated as they broke protocol and allowed him on his flight. They rightly refused and he went on a tirade berating the young women calling them Africans, peasants and more. He did all of this while filming it for Instagram. 
Coontestant# 54 Kevin Gates
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On the heels of all the protests surrounding the murders of Alton Sterling and  Philando Castile, this is what Kevin Gates had to say:
“We kill each other. I’m talking about we lay up under each other’s cars, lay behind each other’s houses then whip by, boom boom, kill everybody in the car…but as soon as a white boy kills one of us, everybody go to hoopin’ and hollerin’ and all that old stupid-ass shit …That’s bullshit. When you stand for something, you’ve got t[o] stand for it all the way, not half way.” ~ Kevin Gates
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That was all of course before he was sentenced to six months for a brutal stage kick to the face and chest of one of his young and misguided female fans. Who just so happened to have been black.

Coontestant# 53 Trick Daddy

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Trick daddy set the internet ablaze with a viral video rant about how black women were losing their footing and needed to tighten their shit up less they be passed over for white and Latina women. And boy oh boy the clap back came fast and furious.

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Coontestant#52 Tommy Sotomeyer

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Tommy has been cooning for clicks for quite sometime  and has made honorable mention more than a couple of years. He’s a black man that has built his brand on berating black women on Youtube and other social media spaces.

Back in July he got into a fender bender with a black woman and after the sister questioned why he was recording her he says this:

“That’s the problem with Black women right there, they talk, “This is why nobody likes these Black whores. Look at her. Black whores. Black whores. Get out my face, though, bitch. I’ll whip yo muthafuckin ass…I don’t like Black bitches, anyway. Bye, broke bitch. My car cost more than your house, bitch. My car cost more than your house, bitch. You don’t know who you talking to. Watch when you find yourself online.”~ Tommy Sotomoyer

The video went viral as he intended but the blow back for his cooning for clicks shenanigans was too much for him to handle hence he used his platform for the first time to speak highly of black women where he pulled the “I never had a father” card. Of course we all know that the apology was bullshit but that is a testament to how much of a bully pulpit the Twitter verse can be when properly leveraged. Another win for Black Twitter but I will say this. It really is time to start giving eye jammies to these brothers out here that think it prudent to be so overtly disrespectful to black women as he and a number of the coons that made this list have been.

 

Coontestant# 51 Rza

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The Rza who we now know is anything but a genius had this to say regarding the on going problem of police killing unarmed black people:
 “If I’m a cop and every time I see a young black youth, whether I watch them on TV, movies, or just see them hanging out, and they’re not looking properly dressed, properly refined, you know, carrying himself, conducting himself proper hours of the day — things that a man does, you’re going to have a certain fear and stereotype of them…I tell my sons, I say, ‘if you’re going somewhere, you don’t have to wear a hoodie — we live in New York, so a hoodie and all that is all good. But sometimes, you know, button up your shirt. Clean up. Look like a young man. You’re not a little kid.” ~Rza
What makes his statement so eggregious is the fact that as one of the founding members of the Wu Tang Clan and the so-called genius of the group he made his living off of urban wears and urban vernacuilar. Now that he’s hanging out with Russell Crow and the Hollywood Click he wants to go all rescpctable Negroe on us.
Coontestant#50 Wendy Williams
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Jesse Williams after winning the Humanitarian Award from BET gave a moving and memorable speech about social justice amd social activism. His speech and sentiments trended for miles. Wendy Williams who has absolutely zero depth of thought and even less consciousness had these jewels to share regarding Jesse Williams and his speech trending:

“His speech was very poignant, on one hand. On the other hand, you know, I would be really offended if there was a school that was known as a historically White college. We have historically Black colleges. What if it was the National Organization for White People only? There’s the NAACP.”~ Wendy Williams

 After a noticeably silent gasp of her normally gregarious audience she goes:
“Look everybody’s quiet. You’re leaving me out here to dry by myself?”
 Now a normal dummy, even with coon tendencies would take that silent queue as a hint that they should probably quit while they are ahead and switch up the conversation. But not Wendy Williams. She’s a special kind of stupid. She goes on to say:
“National speeches like this always rub people the wrong way. Just like White people will be offended because Spelman College is a historically Black college for women. You might feel funny about that. I know I’d feel funny like I just told you. If there was a White college or whatever.”

Twitter eat her ass up so bad that that Chevrolet who previously helped underwrite her show dropped her.

 

Top 10 Coons of 2015

2015 was another coontastic year full of black folks doing their latest and greatest “Shuck & Jive” routine to remain in the good graces of mainstream conservative white America. I could go on and on for days about the kind of self loathing self centered and selfish motivations that go into making certain black men and women suspend all manners of pride and common logic while spewing the most embarrassing rhetoric for the sole purpose of ingratiating  themselves with the kind of dying breed of thought propagated on Fox news, but I don’t have all day and since we have already said farewell to 2015 I’m going to cut to the chase and share my top 10 Coons of the last 365 day cycle…

#10 Raven Symone

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Now Raven is probably one of the more innocuous additions to this list because unlike the coons that will  follow her she has not outwardly advocated for or co-signed the murder of black people, stumped for Trump or any of the more outlandish things that her brothers and sisters in coondumb are guilty of.

With that being said Raven is a black woman that has a national media platform and while The View to most serious people may be superficial day time programming in nature, Ravens words, thoughts and opinions reverberate and have wide spread resonance. With such a dearth in black voices in media she has a responsibility (whether she accepts this or not) to represent the overall interest of African-Americans as they portend to social uplift and all manners of equality. While Raven is far from the most egregious on air offender of black sensibilities I would be remiss not to coon-crown her for openly embracing discriminating against people with ethnic or as she puts it “ghetto sounding” names.

She received enough backlash for her banal brain musing that she did the unthinkable–at least for a coon. She actually apologized to black people and retracted her statement. And while there are other examples this year of her cooning we will not belabor the point because again, unlike the coons on the list that will follow her there is some hope. Let’s pray that she understands the error of her ways and does not make next year’s list.

#9 Jonathan Gentry

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~ Now most don’t know this “Soul Glo” Negro. Hell, I barley know who he is. I just happened to pass one of his coonified productions on Facebook and could not help but to opine on the kind of chicanery  chicoonery that he had on display.  Of course the mostly all white people on his page that pats him on his greasy ass head for his Uncle Tom soliloquies rushed to defend their lawn jockey. My retort to his rabidly racist followers  ended up getting me a 30 day ban from Facebook…

Banned from FB pic


 

…so needless to say my number 9 selection was more personal in nature. Though the Coon-job that he’s pulling off is still worthy of mention.

 

#8 Rod Wheeler

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Rod Wheeler is another lesser known coon (unless you are a Fox Newsbot) who deserves some recognition for his incessant coonery and failing of black people in media. The following clip speaks for itself. As a black man and former police officer he has totally abdicated his responsibilities to the community by co-signing the deaths of the innocent victims of racist policing in America. His answer to how to stop police killings of unarmed black people is to get out of their way and let them do their jobs. Oh and that there needs to be a change at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue. He really said that…

#7 Kevin Jackson

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Kevin Jackson is one of the better known hired guns (against black progress) of Fox News. He makes a living being the attack dog for white supremacy on air. No matter how egregious the offense to black people are he will always side with whatever Sean Hannity’s opinion is. He is to Sean Hannity what Justice Clarence Thomas is to Justice Antoion Scalaia–a lap dog.

His answer about what ails black America will always default to liberal policies, the Democratic party and Al Sharpton & Jesse Jackson. No matter what the specific topic at hand is. I think we all know a coon or two like this guy.

#6 Diamond & Silk

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~ Now these two coonettes were plucked from under the same rock of obscurity that the rest of Donald Trumps dangerously uneducated following crawled from under. The two of these women together can be described as nothing short of a minstrel act. The kind of cooning that they have on display would normally grant them a higher ranking but as I said earlier–2015 was quite the coontastic year and these birds have little to no influence on even the most guile among us so all this performance really amounts to is a modern day Amos and Andy skit.

Two extra mediocre ghetto birds with lace front weaves endorsing Donald Trump and his Mein Kampf style of politics amounts to being just a misdomeaner in comparison to the Trump endorsements coondorsements to follow…

 

#5 The Black Preachers that endorsed Trump

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…because after all not even the average ghetto bird will  follow these ghetto birds to the polls to vote for him. The Diamond and Silk coon combo at the end of the day will garner minimal (if any) black voters for Trump. Their purpose more than anything is to assuage white racist guilt and to allow Trump to keep on saying “The Blacks love me”. These black preachers stumping for Trump is a much more nefarious act of treason to the community because these men are literally paid to lead flocks of black people and they are knowingly leading their flock to vote for a man that overtly disdains them and is literally promising to increase their misery index. No matter what these men and women have done in their respective ministries in the past to uplift the community (if they’ve done that at all) they will now and forevermore be remembered for selling out the black and progressive cause for Donald Trumps chump change. They have reached the point of no return and are coons for life–the same holds true for their respective congregants. So yes, if you still sit in any of these house niggers pew on Sunday, you too are a coon for life.

Then there was this…

#4 Omorosa

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Omorosa was the actual ring leader of the Black Preachers for Trump Coon Brigade. She’s higher on the list and singled out because in addition to being an ordained minister she’s a very accomplished woman and has enough merit and stripes that such cooning on her part for Donald Trump is wholly unnecessary. Her literally whoring for one of the most overtly racist men to run for president since Barry Goldwater should forever relegate her to being nothing more than a coon, bed wench, mammy (insert Uncle Tom pejorative of choice).

 

#3 Ben Carson

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~Mr. Gifted Hands has anything but a gifted mind. His meteoric yet ephemeral rise to the top of the GOP presidential polls mirrors that of Herman Cains rise (and fall) four years ago. By now it’s pretty obvious that both men are the ultimate tokens of the Grand Ole Party’s fledgling nomination process whereby they serve as the ultimate cover for the most ignorant and bigoted voters (and pollsters that corral them) in the nation and allow them to opine in the most mind numbing racist ways only to claim that they are not racist because they are voting for a buffoon named Ben. Even the dolts that claim to be supporting this useful idiot know that come Super Tuesday his name will be no where near a ballot.

Ben Carson is the Rain Man of brain surgery–politics not so much. In the school of medicine the dude is genius extraordinaire. In the school of politics, common sense and all things unrelated to cutting open the medulla oblongata, he’s arrested in his development  and suffering from an undiagnosed case of Asperger’s (no offense to anyone with a child on the autism spectrum).  He’s more socially awkward, inept and out of place on the national political stage than a 3rd grader at the opera. The good news is that by this time next election cycle he will be the same faint and distant memory (and footnote in history) that Herman Cain is today because his useful idiocy will have long expired. Enjoy Corky while you can.

#2 Sheriff David Clarke

David Coon Clarke

Sheriff David the Coon Clarke has never met a police shooting of an unarmed black person that he did not agree with or co-sign as great police work. His rise to notoriety (mostly via Fox and CNN) coincides with and is in direct correlation to the level of outrage generated by the myriad murders by police caught on tape. He’s paraded around the networks to basically explain away racist police policies and abuse of authority. This makes him one of the most dangerous men (for blacks) on television.

And oh yeah, his answer to what ails the black community is single black women.

#1 Reverend Jesse Lee Peterson

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Allow me to drop this verbatim right here (Rev. Jesse Lee Patterson on the Black Lives Matter Movement)

“It’s a hate group, they’re no different than the skinheads or the KKK. They are people who have never been taught to love. From the beginning of their lives they were taught to hate, blame and become victims. They’re just spending a lifetime blaming white Americans, blaming slavery for their lack of good parents in the homes and their lack of love… If Black Lives Matter was a white radical group, doing exactly what these black people are doing, they would be shut down. America would not allow that to happen…white Americans feel helpless and they have fear and they allow black lives matter, and other groups, to destroy our country…I’ve done a lot of work in the prisons and jails, and juvenile detention centers over the years. They have taught, and are teaching black youth, both male and female now, that Christianity is the white man’s religion and that Islam is the black man’s religion…At one point, I was a liberal Democrat, and I had the same anger as Black Lives Matter have because my father wasn’t there for me. Instead of people helping me to forgive him, they told me it was white racism, so I had to same hatred for white people…But I went to God and asked him to show me what was wrong, he  allowed me to see it was that anger that starts in the home.

Uncle Ruckus could not have said that any better (from the purview of a coon of course). And if that is not enough to justify his top billing as Coon of the year the following clip should cement his standing

When Sean Hannity has to tell you to dial back the coonery–you have officially earned the title Coon of the Year.

 

*Honorable Mention*

Clarence Thomas

Clarence Stephen Thomas

Charles Barkely

charles the coon

 

Don Lemon

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Stephen A. Smith

Stephen a smith

Taye Diggs

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Anthony Mackie

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Stacy Dash

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Juan Williams

juan williams

Niger Innis

niger innis

Tommy Sotomayor

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Wayne Bradley

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The Coon Conductor Awards: Top Ten Coons in 2014

coon (kun) 

n.

usage: Definition 5 is a slur and should be avoided. It is used with disparaging intent and is perceived as highly insulting.

n.

1.  short for raccoon.
2. A term born from the minstrel show movement
3. A racist term that whites used to disparage and humiliate blacks
4. A modern day term ascribed to black people who purposely and overtly disrespect  other black people (and black culture) for the express purpose of ingratiating themselves with white conservatives for monetary gain, societal perks or simple pats on the head.
5. Black people who affirm, uphold, support or in anyway agree with the white supremacist construct in America and abroad

example: Steve Harvey (honorable mention) is channeling his inner coon by offering up the black youth that his organization mentors as pawns in Paula Deens public relations re-branding scheme.

Malcolm on Steve

Now calling a black man a coon is highly offensive. It’s damn near fighting words. So in the interest of fairness and intellectual honesty all of the forthcoming nominees for the 2014 Captain Coon crown will be accompanied by at least one full context verbatim so that they can convey in their own words how and why they made it to the top ten percentile of such a dubious category. Without further ado I present to you the top ten coons of today (from least to greatest).

 10. Don Lemon

Don Lemon

Now if you compare Don Lemon to some of the coons that will follow him on this list you will find that his slights to the African-American community at the behest of ingratiation with the dominant Caucasian population is rather innocuous. In fact compared to some of Don Lemon’s fellow Coon Conductor nominees he’s H Rap Brown. Although Don’s offenses towards the culture are not as egregious, constant or overt as most that will make this list, as a black man with a national media profile and platform he too often is guilty of lazy thinking and political expediency when discussing matters germane to the interest and survival of African-Americans.

Bill O’Reilly famously went on a rant berating black culture with the express purpose of changing the national dialogue from racial profiling, unequal protection under the law for blacks and Zimmerman getting away with murdering Trayvon Martin to black people being cultural pariahs.

Don responded to this ridiculously racist rant by saying “He’s got a point. In fact, he’s got more than a point. In my estimation, he doesn’t go far enough.”

Even though he knew this was the aim all along (to change the conversation) he helped Bill O’Reilly do it and then had teh audacity to have an issue with those that took umbrage to his coonsign.

9. Stephen A Smith

StephenSmith-backs mark cuban

Like Don Lemon the level of coonery that Stephen A Smith displays on a daily basis pales in comparison to the coonery practiced by the rest of this list but his coon credentials are far too authentic to ignore. Mr. Smith got himself in deep hot water with many in the black community for his co-sign and subsequent doubling down of Marc Cubans bigoted comments. Many were shocked but I was not. Stephen A Smith boarded the coon train way back in 2009 while making a cameo appearance on conservative talk show hosts Mark Levin’s radio show.

In a not so clever set up Mark Levin lobbed a soft ball question about the new black president and the job that he was doing to Stephen A Smith and in classic coon conditioning Mr.Smith hit it out of the park for a grand coon home run. Now criticizing the first black president does not in and of itself make one a coon–there’s plenty of legitimate things to criticize this president about. However criticizing the first black president for doing the right thing and using half baked conservative talking points makes you a certified coon.

Mark Levin: “What do you make of what’s going on today, with all of the government push and all racism charges and the rest of that stuff?”

Stephen A Smith: Well I’m disturbed to be quite honest with you… I’m very very disturbed. You know as an African American growing up in the streets of New York City I understand what poverty is all about… I understand what trials and tribulations mean but at the same time I’m looking at what we are witnessing from our president, a man I voted for, a man that I was proud to vote for at the time simply because from a historical perspective what he represented and then I’m looking at  what I consider to be a government take over.And I’m quite alarmed and I don’t think he campaigned on it. I know that his record was radical. I listen to Sean Hannity a lot and Sean makes it a point to say that every day but I certainly did not expect us to own 80 percent of AIG, I did not expect us to own part of the automobile industry…It’s one thing to put forth a 787 billion dollar stimulus package, but to drop on top of that a 410 billion omnibus package, a 3.6 trillion budget, a Cap and Trade bill and then to come with a universal healthcare that ultimately lends toward a government take over of  the healthcare system. I did not have to listen to Mark Levin, or Sean Hannity or Rush Limbaugh to recognize that this is something that should make all of us extremely uncomfortable because as a young black man growing up in the streets of New York City, no matter what you say about so many of the critics that were perceived as leaders within the community– people may have advocated for government intervention in terms of supervising things and making sure that we were all operating under a fair and equitable system but I don’t recall anybody–and I mean anybody  that has ever walked into the black community and advocated a government  take over of anything. It’s about handling your own business, grabbing yourself by your own bootstrap and lifting yourself up. We may all need assistance but a take over is an entirely different situation all together. I’m extremely uncomfortable with this and even more uncomfortable with the fact that race has become a part of the discussion. We all know racism exists to some degree but to act as it is as prevalent as it was years and decades ago is completely untrue and it serves to divide this nation which I thing is a catastrophic thing.

Mark Levin: Are you running for president because I’d vote for you!

It almost seems like he should be higher on the list huh?

8. Michael Steele

Mike Steele

When the conservative clarion call went out for a black face to provide cover for the rampant racism that the Tea Party and the rest of the GOP establishment  was about to unleash on America, Michael Steele was the loudest and proudest  voice to step to the plate. Micheal Steele lobbied , ran ,shucked jived and cooned for the job of chairman of the Republican National Committee. He narrowly beat out another coon (Ken Blackwell)for the job.  He beat Ken Coon Blackwell largely on the promise that he would be able to deliver the hip-hop vote to the GOP (he really said that). His exact words were that “the GOP needs a hip-hop make-over”. It became the biggest running joke of his short tenure as RNC chair. He was heavily lampooned for it…

…and even the president got in on the act.

And just like Coon Steele can’t tell the difference between laughing with folks or when folks are laughing at him. But his true coon showed when sat in the hot seat with none other than coon number 10 (Don Lemon) and unwittingly revealed what most observers already knew–that him being the first black chairman of the RNC was a direct response to the country electing it’s first black president. What’s even more astounding is the fact that he believed at the time that they were on equal footing.

At the end of the day, and moreover at the end of Steels’s very short stint as a leader of the fledgling republican party his appointment was a failure–For both the party and himself. The GOP still has a black problem  and Micheal Steele lost pretty much all of his political stock and capital. It’s so bad for that guy that he can’t even get a job working for the defacto communications arm of the GOP (Fox News). Instead he has to settle for being the conservative whipping boy on left leaning cable news outlets.

7. Herman Cain

Hermaine Caine

I’ve long been of the belief that conservative blacks (aka coons) were talent-less, witless, slow thinking extra mediocre individuals and no person in recent memory embodied that caricature as fittingly as Herman Cain did when his black face and calcified mind briefly became the front runner in the 2012 GOP primary race. His reign at the top of the loser leader board was ephemeral but the coontastic memories that he gave the world while leading in GOP nominees for that brief stint are priceless…

…from his penchant for pinching white women’s asses unsolicited to his viral classic brain freeze the dude was well worth the price of admission to this minstrel act. He is certainly one of the more entertaining coons to make the list.

6. Stacy Dash

Stacy Dash

Stacy resurrected her name from obscurity during the 2012 elections by taking to Twitter of all places to declare her support of the almost human Mitt Romney. In predictable fashion the Twitter back lash from Black Twitter was fast and furious. Months later she ends up getting a job as a Fox News contributor. Pretty clever for a clueless chick.

From clueless to cooning. Only in Merica!

5. Rev Jesse Lee Patterson

Jesse Lee Henderson

No caption needed…

4. Allan West

Allen West

The quote in the meme says it all. If that’s not enough to convince you of this clowns coonery I’m just gonna drop this here for your enjoyment

3. Larry Elder

Larry Elder

Like Allen West Larry Allen’s internal angst as it pertains to the black race that he was so unfortunately born into comes from a very deep place. It’s almost like he’s made at black people because he’s black. He unlike even Allen West who was able to parlay his forced military retirement into a one term congressional appointment has no discernible skill set or even end goal. He’s just cooning for the sake of being a coon. And a pretty damn angry one at that.

Now you know you cooning on another level when regular white folks–not even particularly altruistic ones are calling you out and questioning your absurd worldview.

2. Dr. Ben Carson

Ben Carson

Dr. Carson is one of the more unfortunate additions to this list. Blessed with gifted hands but saddled with a graceless mind. Dr. Carson is a classic example of book smarts not transferring to other areas of personal endeavor. This high ranking coon actually said before a white conservative audience that the Affordable Care Act was the worst thing since slavery.

1. Clarence Thomas

Uncle Clarence

This King Coon is perhaps the most insidious black force to ever oppose black people n America. His detriment to the African-American collective quest for equality is as unrivaled as it is unforgivable.

Uncle Thomas’s hit job on black america started long before George Bush Sr. tapped him to replace Thurgood Marshall on the Supreme Court Ronald Reagan tapped him to Equal Employment Opportunity Commission (EEOC) where he purposely buried claims to prevent blacks and other minorities from seeking redress from employment discrimination.

Now Justice Clarence Thomas in addition to being known as an Uncle Tom purest is know to be deftly silent on and off of the bench. It’s hard to get a succinct, in context verbatim from him to prove his coonhood so instead I will simply list his great contributions to white supremacy and towards raising the misery index for black Americans by way of his voting decision making on the bench.

Clarence Thomas’s on Civil Rights

  • Affirmative action forever discounts black achievements. (Oct 2007)
  • Analyzed and advocated unpopular positions on race. (Oct 2007)
  • Black problems should be solved by blacks. (Oct 2007)
  • Preferential policies should apply to disadvantaged whites. (Oct 2007)
  • Affirmative action has stigmatizing effects. (Oct 2007)
  • Questions “adverse impact”: blacks can catch up with whites. (Oct 2007)
  • Black problems should be solved by blacks. (Oct 2007)
  • Improve black lives, consistent with conservative values. (Oct 2007)
  • Censure Bob Jones University for interracial dating ban. (Oct 2007)
  • EEOC had difficulty enforcing equal opportunity laws. (Oct 2007)
  • Coloradans entitled to be hostile toward homosexual conduct. (Aug 2005)
  • Don’t recognize GLBT as a constitutionally-protected class. (Dec 2003)
  • Limit employer liability for sexual harassment by employees. (Jun 1998)
  • Employee must prove negligence to sue city for harassment. (Jun 1998)
  • Tension between affirmative help and undermining dignity. (Sep 1991)
  • Reaching out to minorities is OK; but no quotas. (Sep 1991)
  • Supports scholarships & internships for minorities & women. (Sep 1991)
  • Sodomy laws are uncommonly silly but states can enforce them. (Jun 2003)
  • 1st Amendment protects church’s anti-gay funeral pickets. (Mar 2011)
  • Sociological analysis insufficient to prove gender bias. (Jun 2011)
  • State laws should not protect gay rights. (May 1996)
  • Hate crimes must be separate crimes, not just for sentencing. (Jun 2000)
  • Miranda rights can be overruled by Congress. (Jun 2000)
  • Boy Scouts may exclude gay scoutmasters. (Jun 2000)

This truncated list does not even contain his most insidious decision to join justices Roberts,  Scalia,  Alito and  Kennedy to roll back the key provisions in the 1965 voting rights act making it harder for blacks to vote and easier for racist states to deny blacks and other minorities access to the polls.  Unlike the rest of the loud mouth coons that made this list Uncle Thomas puts his money where his mouth is. as a matter of fact he rarely uses his mouth. He’s been a silent assassin when it comes to killing the hopes and dreams of black America.

Congratulations Uncle Thomas! You are the 2014 Coon Conductor.

now can you please….

stop coonin