South Carolina – The Angry Black Rant

2016 has been quite a coontastic year. i’m talking vintage. So much so that we had to trade in the coon train for a vessel much larger to accommodate all of them. Cooning has become an epidemic in America and it is important that we in the non-cooning negro community collectively rebuke such behavior whenever it occurs. As with anything else there are levels to coonery. These first set of 50 coons are what we call somewhat redeemable coons. Particularly the first 20-30. The closer to the number one spot they get the less redeemable they get.

So with out further ado here are your top 100 coons for 2016 (the first 50)

Coontestants# 100-91: Mainstream black media members Donna Brazille, Al Sharpton, Karen Finney, Toure, Jonathan Capehart, Eugene Robinson, Harold Ford, Joy Reid, Don Lemon and Juan Williams

The black members of the mainstream media serve a very purposeful role and that is to correct the myriad false narratives bantered about in the ether and more importantly to better inform black people so that as a community we’d be able to make the best decisions possible–particularly at the ballot box. All of these members of the mainstream press checked their journalistic integrity and intellectual honesty at the door and for the most part became defacto campaign surrogates for Hillary Clinton. They did not challenge any of the false narratives, half truths or out right myths surrounding her coronation to the Democratic nomination which in turn fed her false sense of invincibility in the general election. These ten members of the mainstream media as much as anyone else in media are responsible for the incoming idiot in chief. In 2017 lets not rely on these characters to bring us the news we need. In the very least look at each of them with a more cautious eye while holding them to higher standards as I believe they all could do better.

Coontestants#92-83: The Seahawks response to Colin Kapernicks national anthem protest

seattle-seahawks-all-lives-matter-getsrure — Built as the perfect response to the all the illogical acrimony directed at Colin Kapernick for taking a stand these dudes came out with the ultimate all lives matter gesture. We’re not going to ding the entire 55 man roster but I’m certain at least 10 brothers on that squad co-signed this bullshit.

Coontestant #82: Fantasia

fantasia-all-lives-matter — Fantasia’s went all All Lives Matter on us. Even after Anthony Hamilton and the other entertainers on this list rejected the naming and intentions of this flier for the canceled project she and her husband doubled down on why the failed venture was not a failed idea.

Coontestant#81 Mary J Blige

mary-sings-the-blues — **Mary sang the blues to Madam Secretary. The only thing more cooney than her singing Negro spirituals to Hillary would be if she broke out into her famous crispy chicken jingle.**

Coontestant#80: Laila Ali

“Yes, black lives matter. Yes, white lives matter, asian lives matter. All lives matter…And that’s kind of what my focus is. But it’s hard because, you know, you’ve got sponsors and you’ve got this and you’ve got that. And you don’t want to step on anybody’s toes. And you’re trying to be politically correct, but at the same time trying to uplift your people.~ Laila Ali

Coontestants#79-73 “The Mothers of the Movement”

mothers-portrait-cover-photo — I know I’m wrong for calling these women out because they have suffered immeasurable pain and paid the ultimate sacrifice. I’m just going to have to be wrong because their chitterling circuit tour for Hillary during primary voting throughout the south was blatant and obvious cooning. The irony of Miss “Bring those super predators to heel” herself co-opting the BLM movement for the sole purpose of winning an election is too egregious an offense not to make mention of. I don’t have the receipts but I’m willing to bet my last dollar that these women were paid for their endorsement and subsequent hyperbolic statements touting how much of a friend and ally to the black community that Hillary and Bill have been. Take solace in the fact that these women remain in the redeemable category.

Coontestant#72 Sage Steele

sage-steele-tweet-768x771 — **This particular brain fart of hers was in response to Mike Evans taking a knee during the National Anthem due to his displeasure with America electing the first Man Baby to the Oval office.**

sage-steel-gets-claped-back-on — **Thankfully Black Twitter was on the job and they let her know real quick that she was barking up the wrong tree.**

sage-facebook-reply — **She needed more than 140 characters to explain away her social media faux pas so she took to Facebook to pen a response but…**

sage-steele-response-1 — ***…Black Twitter was not trying to hear it***

sage-steele-response-2 — **…Black Twitter was still not having it.**

Coontestant#71 Jerry Rice

rice-coons-on-colin — Even though he walked back the wayward tweet it’s pretty clear that he has some strong coon proclivities. If this was 2014 or 2015 the following tweet would have placed this old washed up D list celebrity in the top 10

jerry-rice-tweet — **Of course Black Twitter had something to say**

jerrys-hairline — **He was forced to walk that comment back almost as far as his hairline.**

Coontestant# 70 Victor Cruz

victor-cruz-on-colin-kap — ***As Giant fan it pains me that this dude does not get it. I’m comforted to know that he will be a salary cap casualty in the off season.***

Coontestant# 69 Dennis Rodman

And to that the Donald sent thanks

donald-trump-dennis-rodman — **…and for being so damn forgiving and forgetful. It was only 2 years ago that the Twitter Troll Elect called him a drunken fool.**

Coontestant# 68 Fat Joe

fat-joe-deleted-tweet — Joey Crack obviously forgot about his humble beginnings. Having more love for an inanimate object than you have for the plight of the community is so not hip-hop.

Coontestant# 67 Tiki Barber

Coontestant# 66 Michael Crab~~tree~~inthebucket

michael-crabtree-e1474898384223 — Upon being asked about the ongoing National Anthem protests started by Colin Kapernick and this was Crabtree’s response :

“I just play football, I ain’t no Martin Luther King.”~ Michael Crabtree

Coontestestant #65 Rodney Harrison

rod-on-colin — Rodney Harrison gave perhaps the most cringe worthy response to Colin Kapeernicks National Anthem protest

“Obviously he has the right to stand up for what he believes, but he has to understand there are consequences and might be backlash for what he said. You know a lot of people are criticizing him — I think his heart is in the right place, I just think he was going about it in the wrong way, If he really wants to make change, sitting his butt down [during the anthem], that’s not going to change, that’s going to get people very upset and he has to understand that. If you think sitting during the national anthem, a lot of people really served before his time, now, trying to give him the freedoms and the liberties that he has … and I tell you this, I’m a black man. And Colin Kaepernick — he’s not black. He can not understand what I face and what other young black men and black people face, or people of color face, on a every single [day] basis. When you walk in a grocery store, and you might have $2,000 or $3,000 in your pocket and you go up in to a Foot Locker and they’re looking at you like you about to steal something. I don’t think he faces those types of things.” ~ Rodney Harrison

rodney-harrison-respone-1 — **Of course Black Twitter was fast and furious with a response**

rodney-harrison-respone-2

rodney-harrison-respone-3-sage-steele-addition — Even coontestant #72 Sage Steele took umbrage with the level of coonery that he had on display. You know you ran afoul of the black sensibilities when a fellow coonite calls you out for cooning. #coononcooncrimeforthewin

Coontestant# 64 Charlemagne

charlamagne-and-tomi — “Would be dope if a young black or Hispanic ‘WOKE’ woman used social media to create a Platform to be a voice like Tomi Lahren did.” ~ Charlamagne The ~~God~~ Gump

charlamagne-response-1 — As one would expect such an errant tweet directly into the belly of the beast created a firestorm of clap backs aimed straight for the jugular.

charlamagane-response-2 — As evidenced by how resonate the #blacklivesmatter hash tag has been since its inception black women have an extremely powerful presence on twitter and throughout the social media stratosphere. Perhaps if Charalamagne and his Breakfast Club ~~Cohorts~~ coonhorts would extend invitations to more of these black female movers and shakers their intellectual properties could as well permeate the mainstream media and be monetized as is the case for his bff Tomi Lauren who herself is a halfwit.

Coontestant# 63 DJ Envy

dj-envy-response-2

dj-envy-response-1 — **Did I mention that I love Black Twitter?**

Coontestant#62 Stephen A Smith

Stephen A Smith who cracked the top ten in years past was not even supposed to make the list this year because for the most part in 2016 he practiced reasonably responsible journalism. That was until he lost his mind over the fact that Colin Kapernick did not vote. Here’s a dude (Colin Kapernick) that donated over 1 million dollars in 2016 to causes that help uplift the poor black and brown and this coon is brow beating him because he did not vote for either of the two candidates that have more than proven to not have the best interest of the community in heart mind and agenda.

in his own words:

“As far as I’m concerned Colin Kaepernick is absolutely irrelevant, I don’t want to hear a damn word about anything that he has to say about our nation, the issues that we have, racial injustices, needing change, et cetera, et cetera…He comes across as a flaming hypocrite as far as I’m concerned. I’m not interested in a damn word that he has to say and quite frankly I hope he goes away, He’s lucky to be in the league right now…And Colin Kaepernick after all this noise that you’ve made, even though you didn’t intend to do so by offending our military service men and women. And pointing out about how you wanted to bring attention to racial injustices and beyond that’s in this country. To turn around and not to even take your behind to the polls to vote for a particular candidate–it is shameful. Absolutely shameful, Him of all people, because of the position he took, because of the attention he brought to the issues, the fact that he doesn’t have the decency to go to the polls and activate yourself in this election (as our president said) is a damn shame…I don’t want to hear another word from Colin Kaepernick. It’s a waste of time. [As] a matter of fact, I would personally make a request to the media in this nation: Wherever he is, if he ain’t on that football field trying to throw another damn incomplete pass, do me a favor and make sure of one thing, take the camera away from him. It means nothing. Because for him not to vote, as far as I’m concerned, everything he said meant absolutely nothing. Absolutely nothing. I don’t want to hear another damn word from him. Nothing.” ~Stephen A Smith .

Coontestant#61 Venus Williams

After her sister Serena took to Facebok and penned a heartfelt missive about her concerns about the ongoing injustices dealt to black people at the hands of police and municipal governments Venus was asked her thoughts. And lets just say her opine was not Black Twitter approved..

Coontestants 60-58 Elijah Cummings, James Clyburn and John Lewis

These three “distinguished gentlemen” underscore the fecklessness and ineffectual direction that the Congressional Black Caucus has long been going in. Once billed as the conscience of the congress the CBC just like these three bozos are bought and paid entities of America’s corporate overlords. No longer are they in congress to serve the people. They are there to enrich themselves and hold on to their seats. It’s high time they all be replaced by some new blood.

Coontestant#57 Lil Bow Wow

lil-bow

Coontestant#56 Dorsey Montgomery

Coontestant# 55 Young Thug

young-thug-alaska-airlines-beef-1-520x511 — After this roach impersonator arrived after the 45 minute cut off to board his flight he offered the two black female ticket agents 15k to accept being terminated as they broke protocol and allowed him on his flight. They rightly refused and he went on a tirade berating the young women calling them Africans, peasants and more. He did all of this while filming it for Instagram.

Coontestant# 54 Kevin Gates

On the heels of all the protests surrounding the murders of Alton Sterling and Philando Castile, this is what Kevin Gates had to say:

“We kill each other. I’m talking about we lay up under each other’s cars, lay behind each other’s houses then whip by, boom boom, kill everybody in the car…but as soon as a white boy kills one of us, everybody go to hoopin’ and hollerin’ and all that old stupid-ass shit …That’s bullshit. When you stand for something, you’ve got t[o] stand for it all the way, not half way.” ~ Kevin Gates

kevin-gates-mug-shot — That was all of course before he was sentenced to six months for a brutal stage kick to the face and chest of one of his young and misguided female fans. Who just so happened to have been black.

Coontestant# 53 Trick Daddy

trick-daddy-clap-back-1 trick-daddy-clap-back-2

Coontestant#52 Tommy Sotomeyer

Back in July he got into a fender bender with a black woman and after the sister questioned why he was recording her he says this:

“That’s the problem with Black women right there, they talk, “This is why nobody likes these Black whores. Look at her. Black whores. Black whores. Get out my face, though, bitch. I’ll whip yo muthafuckin ass…I don’t like Black bitches, anyway. Bye, broke bitch. My car cost more than your house, bitch. My car cost more than your house, bitch. You don’t know who you talking to. Watch when you find yourself online.”~ Tommy Sotomoyer

The video went viral as he intended but the blow back for his cooning for clicks shenanigans was too much for him to handle hence he used his platform for the first time to speak highly of black women where he pulled the “I never had a father” card. Of course we all know that the apology was bullshit but that is a testament to how much of a bully pulpit the Twitter verse can be when properly leveraged. Another win for Black Twitter but I will say this. It really is time to start giving eye jammies to these brothers out here that think it prudent to be so overtly disrespectful to black women as he and a number of the coons that made this list have been.

Coontestant# 51 Rza

rza — The Rza who we now know is anything but a genius had this to say regarding the on going problem of police killing unarmed black people:

“If I’m a cop and every time I see a young black youth, whether I watch them on TV, movies, or just see them hanging out, and they’re not looking properly dressed, properly refined, you know, carrying himself, conducting himself proper hours of the day — things that a man does, you’re going to have a certain fear and stereotype of them…I tell my sons, I say, ‘if you’re going somewhere, you don’t have to wear a hoodie — we live in New York, so a hoodie and all that is all good. But sometimes, you know, button up your shirt. Clean up. Look like a young man. You’re not a little kid.” ~Rza

What makes his statement so eggregious is the fact that as one of the founding members of the Wu Tang Clan and the so-called genius of the group he made his living off of urban wears and urban vernacuilar. Now that he’s hanging out with Russell Crow and the Hollywood Click he wants to go all rescpctable Negroe on us.

Coontestant#50 Wendy Williams

wendy-williams-on-jesse-williams-bet-speech — Jesse Williams after winning the Humanitarian Award from BET gave a moving and memorable speech about social justice amd social activism. His speech and sentiments trended for miles. Wendy Williams who has absolutely zero depth of thought and even less consciousness had these jewels to share regarding Jesse Williams and his speech trending:

“His speech was very poignant, on one hand. On the other hand, you know, I would be really offended if there was a school that was known as a historically White college. We have historically Black colleges. What if it was the National Organization for White People only? There’s the NAACP.”~ Wendy Williams

After a noticeably silent gasp of her normally gregarious audience she goes:

“Look everybody’s quiet. You’re leaving me out here to dry by myself?”

Now a normal dummy, even with coon tendencies would take that silent queue as a hint that they should probably quit while they are ahead and switch up the conversation. But not Wendy Williams. She’s a special kind of stupid. She goes on to say:

“National speeches like this always rub people the wrong way. Just like White people will be offended because Spelman College is a historically Black college for women. You might feel funny about that. I know I’d feel funny like I just told you. If there was a White college or whatever.”

Twitter eat her ass up so bad that that Chevrolet who previously helped underwrite her show dropped her.

Let me preface this piece with the caveat that I am not a conspiracy theorist. Really, I’m not. But… Who killed Clementa Pinkney? We all know who pulled the trigger, but who gave the order? Who had Dylan Roof walk into Emanuel A.M.E. Church and murder in cold blood a sitting state senator? A sitting state senator who was a rising star in South Carolinian politics. The kind of leader that comes around once every couple of generations with that rare, powerfully potent voice and requisite courage to speak the harsh truth to power was wiped off the face of the earth by an assassins bullet. Sound like a familiar story?

Martin, Malcolm & Medgar

For the uninitiated think Martin, Malcolm and Medgar. Oratorical juggernauts at the apex of their organizational strength and leadership on the cusp forcing revolutionary change in the light of day while commanding an inordinate share of the daily media cycle further inspiring the masses. It’s easy to forget that for most of Clementa Pinkney’s career as a politician and public servant he was literally an enemy of his state and a political foe diametrically opposed to the overwhelming majority in his state legislature–many of which have eulogized him in the wake of his untimely demise. Are we really all to believe that the far right (and racist) leaning South Carolinian state legislature had an overnight revelation that that hateful racist flag that they and most of their constituency have in the distant and not so distant past publicly revered no longer sees as some innocuous ode to southern heritage? I’m sorry but my faith in the redemptive plausibility of my fellow countrymen (particularly below the Mason-Dixon line) is not that strong. The modern historical record is far too replete with instances like this whereby a black leader gets assassinated in the prime of their life fighting for what’s right. Martin Luther King Jr. and Malcolm X were both murdered at age 39, Medgar Evers was killed at age 38. Clementa Pinkney lived to see the ripe old age of 41 before white supremacy silenced his voice. Unless you believe that it was mere coincidence that this uneducated aloof and borderline autistic misfit would have the wherewithal to first and foremost know who he was, (he specifically asked that he be identified) know his importance to the anti-racist struggle down south and moreover know his schedule there’es no logical explanation for why Dylan Roof would be privy to the personal schedule of any sitting senator devoid of some sort of collusion with at least one other party.

I don’t mean to be dismissive of the lives of Cynthia Hurd, DePayne Middleton-Doctor, Ethel Lance, Myra Thompson, Susie Jackson, Sharonda Singleton, Danial Simmons or Tywanza Sanders whose lives were every bit as precious as Clementa Pinckney’s, but their deaths in this massacre was collateral damage. The target was Pinkney and the murderous thug that they sent to do it said as much when he said that the people that he killed were so nice and warm that he almost could not go through with it. If this young misguided boy consumed with hate was acting on his own accord the love of Christ, the notion that love conquers hate [insert your favorite turn the other cheek cliche] would have actually worked as advertised and ballyhooed ad nausea by many Negroes alike. That tactic proved to be unsuccessful in reaching the minuscule yet malleable mind on a mission to commit dastardly deeds. The question(s) is who gave him this mission to carry out, why did they give it to him and what was/is the end goal. Is it really a race war as posited in the manifesto that he supposedly authored? Are we really crediting this kid with having that much foresight? Or was there a more esoteric sublime order from a higher placed source in state, local and/or federal government?

Dumb and dumber

Dylann Roof was both a high school dropout (9th grade) and a certified tea bagger. That combination would normally net some pretty egregious grammatical errors in a typical 147 character jibe so how he got through a 2,440 count scribe with all his subjects and verbs in agreement and no misspellings is a surprising feat even if the late great Marva Collins or that woman that taught Helen Keller how to read and write were tag team tutoring him.

Lest we forget this is the typical verbiage of a high school drop out from a poor white bigoted town in the south :

So yeah, I’m calling bullshit on that manifesto being authored by Dylann Roof. I’m also calling bullshit on the website that features a bunch of pictures of the kid that were all seemingly taken in the same year, month or even week.

As you can see there’s no change or growth (in his face, body or bowl cut) in any of these photos that populated his website. It suggests to me that it was all put together in one instance. Was that instance to cover up a sinister conspiracy to kill a black leader and state senator? I’m inclined to believe so.

Flag under the bus

White southerners have a legitimate bone to pick with their state leadership and many of the conservative stalwarts that they have supported over the years for so easily acquiescing to that flag being taken down from the state capitol and the various other land marks that it proudly flies. Don’t get me wrong I’m not a proponent of it being flown and I’m not above stomping on the flag while it’s down, but the stars and bars insignia that graced Dylann Roofs apparel had no more to do with the 9 lives that he ended on that fateful day at Emanuel A.M.E. Church than the stars and strips has to do with the countless men and women of color that get gunned down by American law enforcement whose apparel bears that symbol. The flag is too easily being made a scapegoat when there are much larger culprits at play. Removing the flag from the public space is all good. Such an eye sore is long overdue to be buried in the annals of history. However if this reactionary gesture gets construed as benevolence or anything greater than the insult being rescinded from atop the actual injury (that many still remain in denial of) we once again have been hoodwinked ;()

So I ask again in closing: Who Killed Clementa Pinkney???

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Tag: South Carolina

The Carnival Coon Cruise: Top 100 Coons of 2016 Part One of Two (100-50)