The Top 20 C👀NS of 2020

Let me let you all in on a little secret. I’m talking about one of those Love Craft cosmic intergalactic travel type secrets. One of the reasons why 2020 seemed like the longest and most unbearable years since Jesus was merked and the dawn of the AD era began is because 2020 started five years ago in 2016. Real talk– we been on some real live Ground Hog’s Day type shit for four whole years. That’s why 2020 was such a never ending saga. No bullshit, it’s in the good book. Not the Bible, but the one that Atticus and nem was beefing over with that white lady/man.

The only thing that has been more consistent, persistent and perpetually disappointing to the culture than 2016-20 are those pesky mammals from the procyonid family (🦝). You see there are two pandemics wreaking havoc on and within the Black community. The COVID-19 outbreak which of course incubated in 2019 and gave us the Corona Virus and the lesser talked about COONVID-16 outbreak that took form in 2016 and ended up saddling us with the Coonrona Virus. Both have combined to raise the misery index of the Black community to epic levels. And while heard immunity, a vaccine and time will do away with one of these major maladies adversely affecting the culture, the other one shows no sign of going away. After all, their archetype has been around literally since the slave ships. I say all of this to say that being ever more vigilant about the ethos and intentions of our “cousins” in politics, media, arts & entertainment and anyone else with a modicum of influence is germane to our survival as a culture as well as our collective peace of mind. It is for this reason that we highlight annually the top purveyors of coonery for the year. It’s normally a top 10 list, but 2020 has been so coontastic that we have no choice but to expand it to 20. Even with 20 there will invariably be many coons that deserve to be on this list that will not make it. And for that I apologize. With out further ado I present the top 20 coons of 2020.

NUMBER 20. VANN JONES

I struggled with whether or not Vann should make this list. Not because he ain’t been coon tripping–clearly he’s had some major moments of coonery. But because the year 2016-20 has been so Coonified, by adding Jones there will invariably be coons out there well more deserving of the spot that will be either left off the list or relegated to mere honorable mention. He was added First and foremost to dispel the myth that black conservatives have a monopoly on coonery. They don’t. There are indeed liberal leaning black folks with coon like proclivities. In other words Cooning is a bi-partisan sport.

Maybe it’s the coffee at CNN maybe it’s the water in the water cooler. Whatever the cae may be Vann seems to be going through the same intermittent episodic bouts with coonery that Don Lemon struggled with years back before he grew his hair out, switched to a black barber and uncooned himself. The good news is Vann at worst is what we call a redeemable coon (as Don Lemon proved to be). He has not done or said anything that would warrant a permanent ban from the cookout or block party but he did book end his coon spree in a way that would make us remiss not to acknowledge and chide him for. The first was giving a teary eyed co-sign of Fuck Boy 45 after he managed to make it through his first State of the Union Speech by reading verbatim from the teleprompter with minable ad libs (never mind the speech was riddled with falsehoods and shameless campaigning) and the second being the more recent balling tears when the news media finally called the 2020 race in favor of Joe Biden. Again, not the worst coon act in the world, but this nigga needs to get it together.

Another reason why Vann Makes this list this year is the fact that he don’t know what IDFWPWFWPWIDFW means…

…So while even though he’s a redeemable coon, he gotta stay in the coon corner until he learns what the fuck IDFWPWFWPWIDFW means and adheres to the standard.

Number 19. President Obama

I know I know. How dare you call the first Black president a coon. Just so you know, it hurts me to have to add him to this list almost as much as it hurts some of you to read it. I never thought that we would have to add him to a list of such dubious distinction, but here we are. Now two things can be true. Barack Obama could be both the best president in modern history as well as a rather mediocre one–especially given who his predecessor and successor was. It was not exactly a high bar that he had to hurdle. But this is much less about Obama the president and much more about Obama the former president.

After Dumbo the 45th took his oath of office, aside from the occasional where’s Waldo type photos from vacay island on our social media timelines, or public appearances where Michelle would gross us out by eating candy from George Bush’s dirty ass sweaty palms, we did not see or hear much from our beloved first Black Family. It was not until Bernie Sanders looked as though he was headed towards the Democratic nomination did we begin hearing from this guy again. And I’m not necessarily mad at him for that– I get it. Joe is his boy who was his wing man of 8 years. And while it’s clear as day the former “community organizer” chose collegiality over community, if his meddling in the affairs of the people would have stopped there he does not make this list. Even with both he and Michelle Obama authoring books replete with residual smoke for Reverend Wright while all but erasing the disdain that they collectively shared with the people for the Bush crime family and other odious white supremacist elements in American politics that propelled him to the legacy he has today, he would not have made this list. The 19th addition to this years top 20 Coons list was actually an 11th hour addition. So as off putting as it may come across to call the first president a coon, he kind of earned it.

The movement to defund the police seems rather nascent but it’s actually part and parcel to the larger prison abolitionist movement that goes back at least 20 years. The idea gained rapid traction after George Floyd was lynched on camera for all the world to see. That moment along with the state sanctioned and state approved murders of Ahmaud Arbery and Breonna Taylor the movement to defund the police picked up major steam. So much so that the Minneapolis city council voted to defund and disband the Minneapolis Police department– the very same department responsible for choking the life out of Floyd. It was eventually vetoed by the mayor but it forced the mayor to re-allocate 8 million dollars from the police departments 179 million budget while they negotiate further re-appropriations. The funds are to be steered towards programs that tackle mental illness and violence prevention. Now 8 million dollars may not seem like much and it really isn’t. But it’s 8 million more towards programs that enrich the community and 8 million less for one of the forces of destruction in the community. Moreover its 8 million dollars that they would not have had were it not for their threat to defund and disband. Who is President Obama or anyone else to tell that city council or that mayor that their decision was wrong? An even better example is the Camden model. In 2013 while Obama was still in office the Camden New Jersey Police department was disbanded over systemic abuse. They ended up rehiring most of the officers but they had to go through an extensive interview process that included a psychological evaluation–things that their union would have blocked had not the community voted to disband. And while the end results were not perfect, homicides have gone from 67 in 2012 to 25 in 2019. Excessive force complaints went from 65 in 2012 to 3 in 2019. Camden is a very poor city so overall crime rates are still high. Defunding and/or disbanding a police force in a given community will never equal perfection but what I does perfect is a strategy of removing police union bosses from the bargaining table when it comes to negotiating the health, safety and welfare of black and brown communities that they neither live in nor have love or empathy for. Make no mistake about it, the police unions are the immovable objects in the room as it pertains to police reform. On each and every policy prescription that anyone with a semblance of concern comes up with they block it.

Which brings us back to President Obama. For 8 years President Obama tried nicely to get the cops to stop killing black people. It did not work. They kept on killing us. For 8 years Obama tried to make it possible to enact more punitive measures for officers that murdered innocent unarmed Black people. That also did not work–they kept escaping justice and in many instances got their jobs back. That’s what makes Obama’s most recent comments regarding the call to defund the police so curious and frankly coonish. Here’s Obama on the question of defunding the police:

If you believe, as I do, that we should be able to reform the criminal justice system so that it’s not biased and treats everybody fairly, I guess you can use a snappy slogan, like ‘defund the police.’ But, you know, you lost a big audience the minute you say it, which makes it a lot less likely that you’re actually going to get the changes you want done..The key is deciding, do you want to actually get something done, or do you want to feel good among the people you already agree with? And if you want to get something done in a democracy, in a country as big and diverse as ours, then you’ve got to be able to meet people where they are. And play a game of addition and not subtraction.

President Barack Obama

There’s so much wrong with what he said here. First and foremost it’s not about us being treated unfairly. It goes without saying that police treat many of the Black people that they encounter unfairly. But that’s not what’s driving the movement. It’s the fact that they continue to kill us with impunity. With all due respect to the former president there’s a sense of urgency that his flippant response is lacking. And that’s understandable because he will never have to worry about a 3 AM call from authorities letting him know that Sasha or Malia had to be killed because some white boy with a badge mistook their cell phone, purse or Subway sandwich for a gun, feared for his life and shot them down. But for us regular people the situation is much more dire. Another curious thing about his quixotic quip is he juxtaposed defunding the police with his moderate stance of getting things done. Here he’s comparing the growing movement to defund the police (something that is actually working where applied)to what he accomplished vis-à-vis police reform– ABSOLUTLEY NOTHING. And to be clear I don’t condemn Obama for getting next to nothing done in the area of abating police violence against Black people. For the most part I take him at his word when he said that his hands were tied and that’s why the killers of Tamir Rice, Mike Brown, Freddie Gray walked with not even a slap on the wrist. What I will not accept from Obama is him trying to tie the hands of others that refuse to have their hands tied or their power to effect change in the area of ending police brutality thwarted. His wayward words did just that. And don’t just take it from us at the Rant–Our favorite president ruffled quite a few feathers with his nonsense:

Now I’m not going to go as far as to say that Obama has been elevated for the express purpose of silencing black dissent but I will say that he was dispatched to do exactly what he did in that interview and that was to muddy a message that was gaining more and more traction around the country. The man that was dubbed the explainer in chief due to his uncanny ability to break down the complex but critically necessary in the most laymen terms could not find the time, words or energy to explain the myriad ways that a defunding of police departments and reinvesting in the communities could take form. The man that expertly explained why undocumented citizens should be allowed to get drivers licenses, why transgender students deserved to use the bathroom of their choice and why every able body in America needed to sign up for Obamacare or face a fine, found it too hard to break down what the term defund the police means. I’m sorry he has to do better than that. we deserve better than that. I take no pleasure in adding a man of Obama’s ilk to this list. If there were an African-American royal family it would be the Obamas. I want to love the Obamas as much as most people love them, but in all honesty I struggle sometimes to simply like them based on the auspicious start to their post presidency. If I could be a bug in the ear of the Obamas I would urge them to be much more like James and Rosalind and a lot less like William and Hillary. Their legacies would be much better off and so would the Black community.

NUMBER 18. JAMES CLYBURN

Representative James Clyburn is the quintessential Black gate keeper. That is the role that he plays for the democratic party. He’s the house majority whip whose main job is to whip black and brown voters into alignment with the corporate democratic establishment. He’s the wool over the eyes of the poor and middle class Black people in his district. His record of misrepresenting the interests of his most loyal constituents rivals only Mitch McConnell. The highly gerrymandered majority Black district that he represents misrepresents has a median income of $35,000 per year. Pretty much the same median income that existed when he first walked into congress almost 30 years ago. Now of course that’s not all his fault but for whatever reason he does not think that Medicare for all, higher wages, and free tuition was something that they deserve because in 2016 and 2020 he opted to be the pillar behind the firewall that secured the nomination for both Hillary Clinton and Joe Biden, two candidates who stood staunchly against those measures because like Clyburn those industries funded their campaigns. But we have come to expect and frankly accept this sort of non-representation from some of the CBC members who claim to serve in the best interest of Black America. So that’s not what landed him on this list.

After the Democrat’s dismal performance in the 2020 house races where they lost upwards to 10 seats the party needed a scapegoat. Instead of being introspective and looking at their lack of messaging they trotted out their kingmaker butler to serve up their lame excuse for futility on a platter and that’s just what Clyburn did. “Sloganeering” is the term that he used to ascribe the problem that beset their party. He said slogans were the reason why democrats running in red gerrymandered districts lost their re-election bids. In other words it’s because of chants like Black Lives Matter, Medicare for all, the Green New Deal and defund the police that white republicans voted for white republicans.

With American law enforcing from around the country recently storming the capitol to “take their country back” this interview sure did age badly. Unless of course you actually think that all of those yahoos that stormed the Capitol in defense of their republican president would have voted for the middle of the road democrat that lost their seat in congress to a congressional representative with Trumpian proclivities if only they would have never uttered the phrase “defund the police”. Except none of the Democrats that lost their races supported defund the police. They did not support the Green New Deal, Medicare for all and were pretty damn silent on the Black Lives Matter movement all together. Perhaps that’s why they lost. I digress…

Clyburn followed up this Angry Uncle Ruckus interview with an open letter entitled The Fake Fight Between Me and Cori Bush. Cori Bush is the only congressional candidate that ran on defunding the police and being as though she represents a district that includes Ferguson it’s an issue that obviously had resonance with the people of that community. In the short and brief open letter he says:

Like Ms. Bush, I began my political career as a protester. I met my late wife of 58 years during an incarceration that resulted from one of those protests. Although Emily and I almost always agreed on the purposes of our protests and political activism, we didn’t always agree on what approaches were best. We did agree that the slogan “burn, baby, burn” undermined our efforts and eviscerated political support we needed to succeed.  That is my fear of the slogan “defund the police.” I get that it is a rallying cry and shouldn’t be taken literally. But it is being weaponized by sinister forces and is undermining the political efforts of some reliable political allies.  

I prefer “reimagine policing” as a rallying slogan, but I am doing all I can to help Ms. Bush succeed. We are united in the goal of making desperately needed systemic changes to community policing. 

Real cool story old man but that’s a lie. In essence he’s saying that the Black Power movement of the 1960’s was to the civil rights movement what defund the police is to the movements of today which for the most part is the movement to save Black lives and ensure that our lives have value. There’s so much overlap in that movement that it defies logic to erect such a false dichotomy. Defund the police is the next iteration of Black Lives Matter. Black Lives Matter was as toxic a term 6-8 years ago. Today it’s as ubiquitous as a Nike symbol.

The truth is there’s not a nice enough way to word police reform to get a man like James Clyburn on board because he is as beholden to the police unions as any blue blooded Irishman in congress. I know this for a fact. In 2014 then congressman Alan Grayson proffered an amendment (1033). The amendment had nothing to do with defunding the police. It was simply to halt shipments of military equipment and hardware to local police departments. Only 7 CBC members voted in favor of the amendment. James Clyburn was among The Treasonous 32 CBC members that voted against demilitarizing the police. I’m not here to convince you of the efficacy of the term defund the police I’m simply here to let you know that James “the Butler” Clyburn is lying to you about it playing a role in the Democrats dismal election day performance and more importantly he’s lying about why he is so vehemently against the term. He’s against the term because its the single biggest threat to the strangle hold that police unions have at the head of the table when negotiating the health and safety of his constituents. I’m sure he would rather these union bosses be more humane but he loves his leadership position too much to risk it for us. And for that he’s a coon.

Number 18. O’Shea Jackson

The former childhood actor (ya’ll know this dude never sold crack or gang banged) turned movie director, turned Big 3 creator, turned purveyor of viral bullshit, better known as Ice Cube was another 11th hour add. He leap frogged a lot of lames to make this list in 2020. Aside for his 2017 hit dud Arrest The President, Dede’s cousin has been radio silent about national politics and the whole presidential race that had been in full effect at least since 2018. So it came as a great October surprise when two months before the election he unearthed some contract with Black America that no black person that you or I know previously signed or approved of. So with the obviously forged contract in hand Dough Boy secretly met with Jarad Kushner to remix his father in-laws Platinum Plan for the Blacks–because everyone knows the blacks be liking platinum 🙄 . As one would expect, many of the Black people that Calvin was purporting to speak for had some questions. He did Roland Martin and other programs hosted by Black moderators where it became painstakingly obvious that his Contract with Black America was signed with the same pen used to sell the barbershop to Lester Wallace. In the face of being shown not only how fool hearted it would be to trust any promises made by Trump he was shown how much of the policy prescriptions in his “contract with Black America” was present not only in the policy pushes from Black Lives Matter and other activists that were on the ground shedding blood, sweat and tears in the streets for the last 4-8 years, they were also present in some of the 400 plus bills collecting dust on Mitch McConnell’s desk. When told of this, instead of humbly conceding to the points being made he took a defensive stance uttered some ADOScentric jibber jabber and doubled down on the dumb shit. The interview(s) was a disaster and as he continued doing media tours trying to sell us on his sell-out plan he got worse and worse. When asked how he felt about the Trump campaign using his plan and his name in tweets as an endorsement even though he never formally endorsed him, Calvin simply said “both parties do that”. When asked about Trump’s penchant for giving life and energy to white nationalism he said both parties were racist. He was even asked (by a white guy) about police brutality and Trump’s refusal to utter a single word to deter police from killing Black people with impunity and once again Mr. Fuck The Police was on that all in the same gang bullshit before making it known that he was still yet undecided on who he was voting for. The last sit down with The Queens was perhaps his most telling. I will not bore you with a synopsis of it but I did leave the clip for you to catch in its entirety on your own time (feel free to circle back when you’re done reading).

Luckily for Calvin Palmer Jr. (and us) Shade 45 was not re-elected. Had the interference play that he and other members of the hip-hop community were hired to run worked he would undoubtedly have fallen further down this list among the irredeemable coons. But if he keeps tweeting fuckery such as the following illustration, he will undoubtedly reach the point of no return.

Trump ain’t even paying his own legal team for his millions in legal fees. For CubeAnon to repeat such a falsehood for public consumption means one of two things. It means he was fully complicit in the Trump plan to curtail the black vote, or he got conned by the same conman that Elizbeth and nem got conned by…

Number 17. Terrance Williams

SEND THIS TO EVERY REPUBLICAN

If y’all don’t object to the fake election result then we will object to you being re-elected!

FIGHT FOR TRUMP OR WE WILL NEVER FIGHT FOR YOU AGAIN!!

**RT if you agree

President @realDonaldTrump we got your back! January 6th #StopTheSteal

Originally tweeted by Terrence K. Williams (@w_terrence) on January 3, 2021.

Donald Trump is a certified grifter. That is a well know fact. Over and above the fact that he’s a grifter, his presidency has spawned a whole new level of coonery whereby the most random, mediocre Black faces feast off the crumbs from the table of a master grifter like himself in the most shameless fashion. We saw it first with Diamond & Silk. To these women’s credit they peeped game early and got in on the bonanza. “Comedian” Terrence K Williams is the 2020 version of Diamond & Silk. He, just like that Frick and Frack tandem are unabashedly in it for the money and I can’t fully blame these talentless twits for their low hanging fruit come ups because were it not for the Trump gravy train they’d likely qualify for the welfare programs that they decry. But I will call it what it is—COONING. The fact that a publishing house thought it prudent to market and distribute a book authored by this clown is proof enough. What the fuck is a foster house anyway? Either way, with Dumbo leaving the white house, I hope they still have beds for my dude because the grift is over for his type of coonery. I’m afraid the GOP will have to go back to their traditional stick (or whatever) up the ass Black Republicans that are much more bourgeoisie than bombastic with their political diatribes.

16. Terry Crews

While there are far more influential and frankly anti-black coons out here, Terry makes the grade for two reasons. First and for most for making this trash ass movie:



This movie was easily the worst made in 2020. It’s so bad that you almost want to watch it just so you can safely say that you watched the worst movie of the year. From the opening scene to the closing scene the shit got progressively worse. If Terry Crew’s mentality was summed up in a movie it would be that god awful John Henry. The other reason why he makes this list is due to his selective “wokeness”. It was laudable that he as a man could identify with the #MeToo movement (minus allowing another man to grab his dick) while calling out patriarchy and rape culture. As a Black man that understood the necessity of #MeToo I’m sort of perplexed that he struggles to keep that same level of energy, empathy and understanding for the even more necessary #BlackLivesMatter movement…

Like the coons before him his online activity is proof positive that he belongs on this list.

I’m convinced he wanted to be on this list. Shame on me for falling for it.

15. Herman Cain

Say what you want about the homie Mr. 999 but he was willing to lay down his life for the cause. He figuratively ran through a brick wall full speed to further the aims of people who paid less homage to his memory than folks did Dark Skin Jermaine. It is for that reason we feel compelled to posthumously bestow the 16th spot for the top 20 coons of 2020. How are you gonna give your life for the movement and they move on as if you were mere road kill (🦝)? To his credit his Twitter is still more poppin than the dude that he gave his life for.

14. Isiah Washington

My dude ain’t been the same since he tried to rape that gay dude on the Set of Grey’s Anatomy (or whatever they said he did). In classic coon fashion ole boy is a hop on hop offer. No core convictions, low self awareness and rather delusional in how grandiose he sees himself. From 2017 to 2020 he was a certified Black MAGA. A funny thing happened in-between the clock striking the new year and MAGA terrorists striking the US Capitol…

To his credit he is abandoning a sunken ship. Unfortunately it appears that he’s in too deep to escape the sunken place.

13 & 12. Herschel Walker (and his weirdo ass son)

In their own words…

Like father like son. Not much else to add.

11. Lil Wayne

This little junkie ass son of a grown ass man named Baby has been on the coon train for years now. If this raggedy ass little nigglett would not have received a pardon from Fuck Boy Forty-Five he would have been much closer to the number one spot for his betrayal of the culture. At least we now know why he sold his masters for a measly 100 million dollars. I wonder how much of the money went towards the ransom he had to pay to stay out of the fed pen.

10. Brandon Tatum

Brandon Tatum is actually a Coonvid-16 alumnus. He co-founded the Blexit movement with Candace Owens. The Blexit movement was of course a play on the Brexit term. The idea being that Black people should leave the Democratic Party in 2016 for the GOP as the Brits did the European Union. Even though Donald Trump won the 2016 election, it was not due to Black people in mass exiting the Democratic party for the GOP so therefore Blexit was a fail. But that ain’t why he’s on this list. I actually was not aware of this Coon prior Ahmaud Arbery being executed by some Georgian white supremacists. Before any of the most damning facts came out he rushed to victimize the victim by posting a bunch of speculative things that turned out not to be the case. He criminalized Arbery and tacitly excused his killers. He later went on to do another video about the Elijah McClain where he was even worse. He falsely stated that Elijah McClain initiated the contact with the police and blamed him for his own murder.

Like the Coon Terrance Williams he is all about the grift. After each and every whack ass video he puts out he drops links to merchandise that he sells to his mostly all lives and Blue Lives matter viewership. He’s another one that will be looking for a new hustle once the MAGA era subsides and police accountability becomes a national security imperative.

9. Tim Scott

Tim Cain is your typical garden variety coon. He’s what we call a classic coon (also known as a stick up the ass coon). He’s likely been that one black friend, one black neighbor, one black classmate and co-worker for most his miserable life so being a coon is kind of his natural inclination. As oxymoronic as it sounds unlike many others on this list he’s keeping it real. He really is a racist white man trapped in the body of a lame ass Black man.

8. Ben Carson

This nigga ain’t been the same since they performed that lobotomy on him swapping his once gifted hands for his now grafted mind.

7. Clarence Thomas

If we were compiling the all time greatest coons list no doubt Clarence Thomas would be number one because there has been no Black man (past or present) that has contributed as much towards the maintenance of the white supremacist construct while simultaneously holding back Black progress than Clarence Thomas. Clarence Thomas is to cooning what Michael Jeffery Jordan is to basketball. And unlike in MJ’s case there is no GOAT debate. Clarence Thomas is GOAT of cooning. But yet and still the best that we could do this year is give him the number 7 spot. To be clear it’s not because he lost a step in his step & fetch routine. It’s simply that 2020 was such a vintage year in cooning that he was outcooned.

6. Jason Whitlock

This lame and lazy ass tub of lard built an entire sports journalism career on coonery. For the last several years his job at Fox Sports was to make white guys shaped like him feel more superior than the greatest black athlete. Especially if said great Black Athletes are outspoken. Nothing gets under this dudes skin more than a Black athlete standing firm. To be an unapologetic Black man in the sports world is to be an anathema to everything that this dude represents. If you asked Whitlock 45 is not the bigot, LeBron James is real bigot . In fact according to Fatlock, Black men are actually starting to wake up to the goodness of the Donald.

I Think we have been carrying on a facade for three-and-a-half years as a Black men that somehow we can’t relate to Donald Trump, that we didn’t celebrate him in hip-hop music for decades, that he wasn’t friends with countless Black athletes, entertainers, celebrities…That facde is starting to end…and I think that’s why you’ve seen the rapper Ice Cube, you’ve seen 50 Cent and Kanye start reaching out and acknowledging the truth that they really don’t have a problem with Donald Trump ~ Jason Whitlock

To be clear, there is some truth to what Coon number 6 is saying. However to the extent that Black men in America relate to the 45th president of these United States is the extent at which these misguided brothers are moved by sentiments of patriarchy, self centeredness and narcissism. His racism is just the cost of doing business and so long as said racism does not affect them or their pockets they are good. And that’s why we call them coons. But they remain a small percentage of Black men overall but Jason Whitlock is indeed one of them.

5. Vernon Jones

Vernon Jones is a congressional representative from Georgia. He was a life long Democrat who switched allegiances to Republican party. He penned an open letter to white people explaining why:

I am no longer a Democrat. I cannot stand for the defunding of the police, higher taxes on working families and job-killing socialist policies that will devastate Americans of all walks of life… Is how he starts the mindless missive.

He goes on to mention his strong support for police at least 4 more times with no mention of police accountability or the fight to protect Black people from being abused by police. Even more than a coon, this dude is a coward. Hopefully the Black people in his district will awake to his coonery and boot him out of office in 2022 because such a Black man in office is dangerous for our community.

4. Candace Owens

Candace Owens is another Coonvid-16 alumnus. As a matter of fact she is the Valedictorian of the 2016 Coonrona class. She more than any of these other new school coons perfected the art of the grift. She was a chief organizer and architect of the young Black Dummies for Trump movement…

In the YBD’s defense, it was not just the propaganda pushed by Owens motivating them flock to the White House in new school Nazi regalia—they were also being paid by this mistress of misinformation. So says Robert Longfellow who furnished receipts in his article aptly titled: Edgeless Candace Owens Pays Black People to Attend Donald Trump’s Latest Stunt.

For all the cooning that she did in 2020 she still ended up getting passed over when it came to the GOP Donald Trump convention and that obviously that made her feel some type of way…

…It seems they might have a new flavor of the month.

3. Kim Klacik

Kim Klacik was to Candace Owens in 2020 what R Kelly was to Aaron Hall in the 1990’s. Kim came in and stole all of ole girls thunder. Her Brazilin weave and Wringling Brothers make-over supplanted Candace’s plain Jane split end look with the Good Ole Boys. Rhetoric wise it was pretty much all the same. She made her national debut by riding off of the public angst that the 45th president directed at the late Representative Elijah Cummings while chair of the House Oversight Committee investigating the Fuckery between he and the Russians. She sent out a tweet lambasting Cummings and Baltimore that was later re-tweeted by the dude that can no longer tweet. It went viral and she instantly gained most favored coon status. So much so that she was able to parlay her disrespectful words about Baltimore and Elijah Cummings to a run for the late representatives vacated seat. Thankfully she lost but not before having a Million Karen March through a three block radius in Baltimore trying to bring more shame to the community and culture while shamelessly cooning for kudos.

2. Kanye West

Kanye was the first major hip-hop artist to co-sign and endorse the overt white supremacist in office. His betrayal of the culture opened up the doors for others to do the same. He is what we call the ultimate culture vulture. This culture gave him more fame and fortune than he could have dreamed of but some how it still was not enough. He used the perch that the culture has given him to re-distribute white supremacist misinformation and propaganda to. For that he should never be forgiven. I don’t care how crazy the dude acts. Fuck him forever!

1. Daniel Cameron

May the spirit of Breonna Taylor forever haunt this sick and sorry son of bitch ass nigga. There is no greater example in 2020 of a Black man betraying the Black community than what this sucker ass dude did to our beloved sister Breonna. If “on sight I’m beating that ass” was a person that person’s name would be Daniel Cameron. Nothing short of a beat down is deserved by this dude and I pray that it one day happens. I also pray that it be recorded for public consumption so that it would deter future coons from committing such dastardly deeds to further ingratiate themselves with their white supremacist handlers.

The role that Cameron played in the miscarriage of justice endured by Breonna Taylor’s family and by extension the Black Community will be with us for posterity. He will be the poster boy for selling out the Black race for years to come. This is an offense against the culture and entire human family that should never be forgotten. He needs to pay for the bitch ass move he pulled. By any means necessary. Periodt!

Honorable Mention

The Top 10 C👀NS of 2019

2019 has been yet another coontastic year with Negros selling their souls for pittance, throwing the culture under the bus and cape crusading  for white supremacy. This procyon lotor outbreak has gotten so bad that the lines have thoroughly been blurred between acceptable black behavior and gross violations of the culture. One of the bigger misnomers about Coons today are that they are self loathing individuals that hate the Black skin that they were born in. In actuality the opposite is true. They actually love themselves. They love themselves a bit too much. To the point of narcissism and if there is a tie that binds all persons making this list is the fact that their extreme narcissism and self serving ways precludes them from having the requisite self awareness to avoid promoting and propagating white supremacy. So with out further ado here are the top ten habitual offenders of 2019…

 

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#10 Kimberly Klacic

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I know you are like who is this bih? And normally I’d be on some “Harpo, who dis woman” type shit myself but home girl has a story to tell.  You see back in the day Kim Klacik used to be down with the blacks. So much so that she went to an HBCU (Bowie State). Everything was fine and dandy with the blacks until she came down with a case of alopecia and loss all of her hair. At that point (according to Kim) the blacks started being mean to her and when you are black and other blacks are mean to you, the only right response is to become a republican. At least that’s the rational that Kim  used for voluntarily entering into the Sunken Place. But that’s not what gets  her on the list this year. What got her on this list was her skillful use of the twitter app. By posting a few dumb words from her smart phone she was able to attract the attention of the reigning most powerful person in the world (allegedly). This alleged most powerful person in the world parlayed her dumb words into a cyber bullying/misinformation campaign  targeting the then chairman of the House Oversight committee the late Representative Elijah Cummings. Months later when Representative Cummings met his untimely demise this happened:

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Yeah, ole girl is running for Elijah’s vacated seat. Baltimore ya’ll got one damn job in November of 2020. If you fail the whole damn city is making this list for 2020.

 

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#9 SHAQUILLE O’NEAL

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A brief recap: John Schnatter the now ousted CEO and founder of Papa John’s (but still the majority stake holder) wadded into waters too deep for him to navigate, swim or even doggy peddle through while trying to ride the wave of white supremacist angst directed at Colin Kapernick and other NFL players for their on field protests of police brutality. He basically tried to the blame the lagging sales of his nasty ass pizza on NFL players. It did not land well at all. Even the racists gave him a side eye with that one. Jethro and them were like “dude, your pizza sucks ass”. It ended up being a huge PR nightmare for him and the sales for his nasty ass product took an even bigger nose dive. He then did what any wealthy white proprietor of junk goods that heavily depend on the black dollar to turn a profit–he hired a PR firm to right his sinking ship. The PR firm that he hired set up a conference call with him and some of his board members to plot and plan how they can in the future avoid Papa John Schnatter from self destructing again and taking all of their profits with him. That did not go so well. On the call presumably to show his new found empathy for the blacks he recalled how much better things are for them today because they no longer get dragged through the streets on the back of good people’s bumpers until they died (he did not call them good people but that’s what he was thinking). Not to be outdone by himself he went on to say “even Colonel Sanders called blacks niggers” . At this point his board of directors had no choice but to save him (and their stock options) from himself and ousted him as the CEO. Papa John's founder and CEO John Schnatter at the Indy 500 in Indianapolis, Indiana in May 2015.... [+] (Photo by Michael Hickey/Getty Images)

With the companies public relations nightmare taking an Elm Street like turn the board decided that this was a job that only Super Man could fix and since Christoper Reeves is no longer around they hired Shaq-Fu  Shaqcoon to clean up the mess. 

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The self described Big Aristotle has an annual salary of around 60 million dollars with a net worth around 400 million. Having hit the DNA lottery at birth and parlaying it into a top 15 (at least) all time spot in the NBA, one would think that a man of Shaq’s ilk would have little incentive to play clean up boy for the racist white proprietor. Much to the chagrin of black people that don’t appreciate being referred to as niggers by white CEO’s of a Pizza franchises that push pizza on the public that taste much more like the card board box that it’s delivered in than actual pizza, our boy Shaq joined the board of Papa John’s  to give its racist founder the cover he sought so that he could keep slinging that dirty dough in the hood. To add insult to injury he signed on to bring that nasty ass shit to HBCU campuses across the nation. In a normal year that alone would make him King Koon for the year. Sigh…this is not a normal year…

 

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#8 The ADOS/FBA movement

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ADOS (African decedents of slavery) and FBA (foundational black Americans) are two nascent movements centered around organizing the progeny of America’s former African slaves to procure reparations and to organize politically. On the surface it sounds rather innocuous and even laudable. That is until the leaders start talking. When you cut through the fast talk and circular logic the net result of their political action is white supremacy in black face. Their talking points are replete with  natavism, xenophobia and anti-immigration sentiments. At times it’s hard to distinguish MAGA speak from ADOS speak. In fact there’s even some MAGAites pushing ADOS. 

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When Ann Coultergiest is shouting your organization out on Twitter, it’s safe to say your organization is on that bullshit. Worse than that, an intra-squad beef erupted between team ADOS and team FBA.  Long story short, ADOS was co-founded by lawyer and Youtube personality Antonio Moore and former Democratic strategist Yvette Carnell.  In comes “filmmaker” and author of self help books (for pimps) Tariq Nasheed.

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Tariq had been shouting out ADOS giving them positive press so they in turn started to embrace him so as to get more of his followers into the ADOS fold–because everyone knows a movement is not a movement devoid a bunch of simple niggas skilled in the art of mackin broken women. ADOS leadership has this thing called “staying in code” which is basically code word for not saying or doing something super lame to embarrass their already super lame  movement. Staying on code for the most part meant to not make the obvious any more obvious than it was.  Tariq being Tariq took things a bit to far with this errant tweet:

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Antonio Moore and Yvette Carnell took obvious umbrage because Tariq confirmed the greatest fears of the movements biggest detractors and that is the fact that the ADOS movement is one of the black arms of America’s white supremacist movement with the express purpose of suppressing the black electorate so that the current white supremacist commander and chief could win a second term. They followed his tweet with a tweet trying correct his faux pas, Tariq up’d the ante by doing what he does best and made a diss video while also creating his own million minion movement (FBA). Yvette followed up with a video of her own and from there #ADOSvsFBA became the funniest thing trending on Twitter. 

And while it’s all fun and games watching stupid people bicker over stupid shit what these people are doing really is self defeating and in the long run dilutes the power of black people and the power of the black vote. At a time in human history when global white supremacy is on the rise and these KKKrackers are taking their white nationalistic ideals international and  strengthening their global ties with like minds across the globe, we are hustling backwards by taking an opposite approach by erecting false dichotomies among the worlds majority people.

I will leave this one last message for my misguided brothers and sisters that think it prudent to follow these ADOS/FBA bammas. Your African blood is thicker than the white man’s American borders. Get your heads right. 

I’m gonna leave ya’ll with this too:

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#7 Stephen A Smith

Stephen A Smith has been cooning under the radar for a while now. He’s made the top ten at least once or twice in the past decade. What makes him kind of dangerous is the fact that at times he will get it right and use his position in media responsibly and advocate for Black people as opposed to being the masters mouth piece. Then there are other times…

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Earlier this year Smith secured the bag. He signed a contract extension for 10 million dollars annually. Now I was not hating but I did wonder aloud how the fuck this loud mouth ass three point perimeter hairline having ass dude was get that kind of dough. I wondered that until of course the NFL tried to play Colin Kapernick for Boo Boo The Fool. It then became quite clear. With the NFL being his networks biggest client at least part of that 10 million dollar salary was earmarked for the tap dance for Massa routine that he pulled in the wake of Colin Kapernick not allowing himself to be played by Roger and nem. 

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Before Kap’s team sniffed out and made public the shady language in the waiver that he was to sign before being allowed to show case his talents in front of a bunch of NFL scouts that were already well aware of what he could do, it was understandable that some in the media (mainstream and social)  would blame Colin for the fiasco that his NFL work morphed into. Stephen A was one of the loudest voices of rebuke of Colin. After more information came out (information that Smith was already privy to) it became obvious that the league was trying to put Kapernick in a trick bag. Smith even tacitly acknowledged this in one of his myriad diatribes on the matter. Yet he still clung to the company line and blamed the victim. His on air counter part who happens to be white (Max Kellerman) was a bit more insightful and intellectually honest about what was going and they went back and forth over the issue for the next week. They brought Terrell Owens on the set because like most black people he voiced displeasure with how Stephen A Hairline was reporting the story. TO always being good for at least one memorable sound bite did not disappoint the diaspora. Son told Smith that Kellerman sounded blacker than him. That shit really hit a nerve. While that was a basic fact that most observers knew already, the reaction from Smith was priceless. Nigga damn near had a baby on set and now forever lives in coon infamy. As he should.

 

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#6 Isaiah Washington

This dude ain’t been right ever since he got fired for beating up that gay dude on Shonada’s set. He has since that time come out of the closet as a card carrying Black MAGA who routinely gets into Twitter spats with sisters much smarter than him. But like most Coons his ignorance is only outmatched by his arrogance so he regularly gets his ass handed to him in the Twittersphere:

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 #5 Tim Scott

There really is nothing to see here. Tim Scott for probably his entire adult life has been a “One Black”. What’s a one Black you ask? Thanks for asking. A One Black is  that one black friend, one black neighbor, and/or one black colleague that’s so comfortable in the alabaster spaces they dwell they will do almost anything to maintain the extreme minority  position in the given construct. Nothing great or even good is ever expected from a One Black so it would be foolish to expect anything from Tim Scott. Now that Obama is no longer the president, Tim Scott for the most part is the most powerful black man in America and as such we’d be remiss not include him on this list because he continues to play a major role in codifying the white supremacist ideals pushed by the wicked white men that he surrounds himself with. If this was not such a high tide in coonery a black man with his power so willingly able to acquiesce to the white supremacist demands of his constituents would be closer to the number one spot. And if this list was the top ten coons of the decade as opposed to the top ten of 2019 he’d definitely be ranked closer to the number one spot because he’s been carrying the Tiki torch of white supremacy in the US Senate since 2013.

 

#4 Ben Carson

Uncle Ben is another top ten coon mainstay and like Tim Scott  would be much closer to the number one spot if this was the all decade team. Him coming in at number 7 for 2019 should not be seen as him having a less coonish year. It’s simply that 2019 had so many vying to be the head coon in charge that Ben’s maladjusted slow thinking slow speaking ass was too unwitting to compete with this years crowded crop of coons. No worries though–he will be back next year. I’m certain of that much.

 

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# 3 Jason Whitlock

Jason Whitlock has never met a free black man that he did not hate. From Lebron James to Colin Kapernick he has a serious beef with any black man that has an semblance of awareness. He has a job as as a sports journalist despite not being a good writer, not knowing much about sports, and not having an athletic bone in his bloated body. His sole purpose in American media is to make couch potatoes that sport MAGA hats feel like they are greater than the great black athletes denigrated daily by dip shits like himself.

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#2 Candace Owens

What is there to say about this chick that you already don’t know. She’s the black female face of the MAGA movement, all 3 percent of them heffers. Like the coon before her on this list her existence in the public space is solely for the purpose of giving racist whites as much cover as they need to continue being the racist degenerate pieces of shit that they have been since 1619. Her relevance while waning was significant to the white supremacist movement. She has propagated enough propaganda over the last few years to infect the minds of some of the more malleable and maladjusted in our community.

Candace Owens while dumber than a door knob is dangerously deceptive. While its easy for those of us with an IQ over 50 to dismiss this foolish woman and her foolish chatter–the young, dumb and aloof among us are far less able to abate the specious messaging.

#1 Kanye Kardashian West

Before I get started on this stupid nigger (he gets the er iteration because that’s what they call his dumb ass when he leaves the klan meet ups) let me quickly respond to those who will be quick to claim that I’m hating.

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You god damn right I hate that nigga. I hate that nigga so much that I’m starting to hate you niggas that are not smart enough to know that Kanye hates you. Kanye unfortunately has an undue and out sized influence on the culture (he almost single handily made skinny jeans with big ass stupid look sneakers cool) and he’s using it in the most reckless and selfish manner. In a day and time where white supremacist propaganda is being incessantly spewed daily and from the highest office in the land, instead of using his perch and influence to combat the propaganda, like the self absorbed coward that he’s become he cosigned and doubled down on the dumb shit. His disrespect for our ancestors while giving props to our oppressors is an unforgivable act of betrayal of the people and the culture. What is there not to hate about the fuck shit that this fuck boy has been on?

Kanye more than anyone else on this list exemplifies the kind of narcissistic self-idolatry that the current occupant of the white house routinely displays and is seemingly making acceptable behavior. Moreover he’s bastardizing the culture by lending his name in the name of the culture to white supremacy. That’s not hip-hop. Hip hop in it’s purest and primordial form is and always will be a rebellious form of expression. It is FUBU. For us by us! It is not a tool to be used by the oligarchs to maintain and spread their empire. That does not mean that every artist should be a KRS-One or a Poor Righteous Teachers, but does mean NO artist should ever be an avatar for white patriarchal power. For the last few years that is the dominant role that Kanye has played. A loud and proud mascot for team White Supremacy. You lame asses that continue to support this bitch ass dudes wayward behavior by buying them ugly ass shoes, streaming his whack ass negro spiritual remakes and attending his plantation style Sunday services are utterly worthless because you are encouraging this foolish fuckery and it’s no longer funny or entertaining. The shit is sick. He is not well and neither are you.

Top 10 Coons of 2018

2018 was yet another year of classic coonery. In this Trumpian era error that we’re in the midst of  there seems to be a new breed of coon brewing in urban America. I can’t quite place a finger on what it is about the Orange Idiot that’s giving rise to this samboian outbreak but it is at least in part to his extreme narcissism and extra rapey ways. What I have noticed is that a lot of the black men that support or defend the reckless behavior of this current president exhibit some of his most untoward and reckless personality traits. At least that’s the theory I’m going with. I digress…With out further ado here’s your Top ten for 2018…

10. The Baby Coon Bootcampers

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Random Fun fact: A group of raccoons are called a nursery or gaze. 

When I was a young dumb 20-30 something I did my fair share of really dumb things. Thankfully camera phones were not ubiquitous devices back then as they are now. I’m even more thankful that my formative young adult years did not coincide with a rabid coon outbreak such as the one that led to this gaze gathering at the White House. Some of these young and dumb millennial’s will live to regret this photo op while others in this nursery will grow up to be full blown coons. Either way this posterior inspired photo op will be around for posterity so whether or not these young, dumb malleable minded minions will inextricably linked to the Class of coon 2018.

9. Herschel The Coon Walker

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When you’re born black and the black folks that birthed you feels fit to name you Herschel, it’s not 100 percent your fault that you grew up to be a coon. Herschel and President Adolt Twittler go back to to his failed days as a professional football franchise owner.

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He was literally Benedict Donald’s original favorite field Negro…So it should come as no surprise that decades later he’d make the smooth transition to the prototypical house negro.

 8. Jim “Crow” Brown

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Speaking of former NFL running backs suffering from CTE there’s this old fool. Many thought that his dalliance with coonery would be brief and by now he’d humbly come back to the tribe to petition for forgiveness ala Chrisette Michele. Nope! He’s a proud coon and is as perennial a member of the top ten coon list as he was the Pro Bowl. Ya’ll boy is gone for good. 

7. Jason “the Witless wannabe white wonder”Whitlock

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Jason Whitlock is what you would call an OC (original coon). What differentiates Fatlock from the fuck boys (and girls) that precede him on this list is the fact that his Tom Coonery did not start (at least publicly) during Jive 45’s infamous and most unfortunate rise to the presidency. In other words cooning has always been part of his DNA. In his defense he has no discernible talents so cooning is next to 100 percent responsible for his success in life. So while he knows next to nothing about the sports that he’s paid to report on and he’s obviously never played a sport outside of maybe a hot dog eating contest or three, his value to his employer Fox Sports  is his ability to assuage and massage  the  fragile white ego of white supremacist sports fans across the nation. Something that he’s pretty good at. Nobody can make bald, fat, nonathletic couch potatoes feel superior to the Colin Kapernicks and LeBron James of the world like Whitlock is able to do. Believe it or not that takes as much skill as it does audacity.

6. A Nigga named Paris (Dennard)

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Say a prayer for our boy Paris. He had a pretty rough year. He spent most of the year taking verbal beat downs on CNN while frivolously failing at defending the foolishness of the Dump administration in viscerally embarrassing fashion. After stacking all them L’s CNN ended up cutting ties with him for being a pervert. No offense to the #MeToo movement but that boy ain’t hardly interested in vagina. It really was a misunderstanding…

5. Bobcat  Johnson

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Bob Johnson on the low has been cooning forever. The Founder of BET was one of the early culture vultures of hip hop. His cooning reached a crescendo in 2008 while campaigning for Hilliary Clinton in the 2008 Democratic Primary vs then Senator Barack Obama. At a black church of all places he dropped the timeless jewel
“As an African American, I’m frankly insulted that the Obama campaign would imply that we are so stupid that we would think Bill and Hillary Clinton, who have been deeply and emotionally involved in black issues when Barack Obama was doing something in the neighborhood that I won’t say what he was doing, but he said it in his book,”  ~ Bob Johnson

Who would have thunk that 10 years later he’d be palling around with her arch enemy and the father or modern day white supremacist terror.

4. Coondace Owens

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The baby coon summit was the brainchild of Ms Owens. Her corrupting so many minors in a single coon swoop should be enough to land her on this list. She has become one the darlings of conservative media and white people who prefer their blacks to be kind of racist towards other blacks. Like a nigga named Paris she takes a major L every time she ventures away from the Fox News studio to opine on shit she has no clue about–like life itself. If the term Poor little tink tink had an avatar. It would be this whack ass chic and that was made abundantly clear the day she dared to debate Dr. Micheal Eric Dyson on MSNBC.

3. Uncle Ben Carcinogen 

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Uncle Ben is making black history and he don’t even know it. In every horror movie the black guy dies first. This black guy is two years in and still running. Many careers have come and died entering the Trump White house and this nigga is still breathing. That’s a remarkable feat if you think about it. Unless you watched Bird Box and understand that the retarded mother fuckers like Ben and Candy don’t have to wear blind folds because they have have a built in immunity.

2. Tim Scott

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With President Obama now citizen Obama Tim Scott is the most powerful black man in America. By default he makes the list for being in such a powerful position as a United States Senator while being the weak pathetic bent back bitch ass that he’s been since being elected. As senator he’s rubber stamped every racist bill, judge and cabinet member that was put up for a vote. He’s a truly deplorable black man that will go down in history as one the most destructive to black people and progress in America with how he’s comported himself as Senator.

2a. Clarence Thomas

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Tim Scott rivals only Clarence Thomas when it comes to the race for the black person that could set black people and black progress back the furthest. Every day this human lawn jockey thinks of how he can throw a monkey wrench in the black come up. I know that we are not supposed to wish death on folks but come on my good Christian friends. He has a lifetime appointment. I need this nigga to die in order to live my beast negro life. #HurryUpAndDieYouVarmint

1. Koonye Kardashian West

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Kanye was hip hop. Not the totality of the construct but a firm part of it and he has the receipts to prove it. And while the Donald Trump brand has had it’s fair share of mentions in hip hop (particularly before his foray into politics) he’s the antithesis of hip hop so even though on paper Mr Kardashian is a powerless peon, his Trumpian antics and mushroom dick riding have a deleterious affect on the culture. For that he can never be forgiven. Like Ben and Candy he don’t have to wear a blind fold because he’s already touched. But we not gonna excuse or write it off as mental illness his major transgressions. As black people and progeny of slaves still living in a world rife with white supremacy we all have truama running through our DNA. Some of us choose to embrace the plantation and in most instances the motivations are more selfish in nature than they are subconscious. Plantation Psychosis is what we would label what ails Kanye and there really is no cure. That’s precisely why he’s on the trading block for the next racial draft. 

The Carnival Coon Cruise: Top 100 Coons of 2016 Part One of Two (100-50)

2016 has been quite a coontastic year. i’m talking vintage.  So much so that we had to trade in the coon train  for a vessel much larger to accommodate all of them.  Cooning has become an epidemic in America and it is important that we in the non-cooning negro community collectively rebuke such behavior whenever it occurs. As with anything else there are levels to coonery. These first set of 50 coons are what we call somewhat redeemable coons. Particularly the first 20-30. The closer to the number one spot they get the less redeemable they get.
So with out further ado here are your top 100 coons for 2016 (the first 50)
 Coontestants# 100-91: Mainstream black media members Donna Brazille, Al Sharpton, Karen Finney, Toure, Jonathan Capehart, Eugene Robinson, Harold Ford,  Joy Reid, Don Lemon and Juan Williams

The black members of the mainstream media serve a very purposeful role and that is to correct the myriad false narratives bantered about in the ether and more importantly to  better inform black people so that as a community we’d be able to make the best decisions possible–particularly at the ballot box. All of these members of the mainstream press checked their journalistic integrity and intellectual honesty at the door and for the most part became defacto campaign surrogates for Hillary Clinton. They did not challenge any of the false narratives, half truths or out right myths surrounding her coronation  to the Democratic nomination  which in turn fed her false sense of invincibility in the general election. These ten members of the mainstream media as much as anyone else in media are responsible for the incoming idiot in chief. In 2017 lets not rely on these characters to bring us the news we need. In the very least look at each of them with a more cautious eye while holding them to higher standards as I believe they all could do better.
Coontestants#92-83:  The  Seahawks response to Colin Kapernicks national anthem protest

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Built as the perfect response to the all the illogical acrimony directed at Colin Kapernick for taking a stand these dudes came out with the ultimate all lives matter gesture. We’re not going to ding the entire 55 man roster but I’m certain at least 10 brothers on that squad co-signed this bullshit.

Coontestant #82: Fantasia

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Fantasia’s went all All Lives Matter on us. Even after Anthony Hamilton and the other entertainers on this list rejected the naming and intentions of this flier for the canceled project she and her husband doubled down on why the failed venture was not a failed idea.

Coontestant#81 Mary J Blige

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Mary sang the blues to Madam Secretary.  The only thing more cooney than her singing Negro spirituals  to Hillary would be if she broke out into her famous crispy chicken jingle.

Coontestant#80: Laila Ali

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Laila too went all lives matter on us and was unabashed about it. I suspect that there was heavy wind when that apple fell off the tree.

“Yes, black lives matter. Yes, white lives matter, asian lives matter. All lives matter…And that’s kind of what my focus is. But it’s hard because, you know, you’ve got sponsors and you’ve got this and you’ve got that. And you don’t want to step on anybody’s toes. And you’re trying to be politically correct, but at the same time trying to uplift your people.~ Laila Ali

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Coontestants#79-73 “The Mothers of the Movement”

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I know I’m wrong for calling these women out because they have suffered immeasurable pain and paid the ultimate sacrifice. I’m just going to have to be wrong because their chitterling circuit tour for Hillary during primary voting throughout the south was blatant and obvious cooning. The irony of Miss “Bring those super predators to heel” herself co-opting the BLM movement for the sole purpose of winning an election is too egregious an offense not to make mention of. I don’t have the receipts but I’m willing to bet my last dollar that these women were paid for their endorsement and subsequent hyperbolic statements touting how much of a friend and ally to the black community that Hillary and Bill have been.  Take solace in the fact that these women remain in the redeemable category.

Coontestant#72 Sage Steele

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As if this shirt was not enough to land her at least honorable mention in a non vintage coon year. She’s laid her black card on the line quite a few times to justify her ticket for the Carnival Coon Cruise. Instead of elaborating on her many offenses to black sensibility I will let her pretty little mixed twitter fingers make the case instead. 

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This particular brain fart of hers was in response to Mike Evans taking a knee during the National Anthem due to his displeasure with America electing the first Man Baby to the Oval office.

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Thankfully Black Twitter was on the job and they let her know real quick that she was barking up the wrong tree.

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She needed more than 140 characters to explain away her social media faux pas so she took to Facebook to pen a response but…

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…Black Twitter was not trying to hear it

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…Black Twitter was still not having it. 

Coontestant#71 Jerry Rice

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Even though he walked back the wayward tweet it’s pretty clear that he has some strong coon proclivities. If this was 2014 or 2015 the following tweet would have placed this old washed up D list celebrity in the top 10

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Of course Black Twitter had something to say

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He was forced to walk that comment back almost as far as his hairline. 

Coontestant# 70 Victor Cruz

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As Giant fan it pains me that this dude does not get it. I’m comforted to know that he will be a salary cap casualty in the off season.

Coontestant# 69 Dennis Rodman

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Dennis makes the list for being a Trumpet…

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😦

And to that the Donald sent thanks

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…and for being so damn forgiving and forgetful. It was only 2 years ago that the Twitter Troll Elect called him a drunken fool. 

Coontestant# 68 Fat Joe

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Joey Crack obviously forgot about his humble beginnings. Having more love for an inanimate object than you have for the plight of the community is so not hip-hop.

Coontestant# 67 Tiki Barber

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“I agree with his desire to continue the narrative…There are issues in this country. That, you have to commend him for. But I don’t commend him for sitting and not honoring this country and our flag.” ~ Tiki Barber

Coontestant# 66 Michael Crabtreeinthebucket

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Upon being asked about the ongoing National Anthem protests started by Colin Kapernick and this was Crabtree’s response :

“I just play football, I ain’t no Martin Luther King.”~ Michael Crabtree

Coontestestant #65 Rodney Harrison

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Rodney Harrison gave perhaps the most cringe worthy response to Colin Kapeernicks National Anthem protest

 

“Obviously he has the right to stand up for what he believes, but he has to understand there are consequences and might be backlash for what he said. You know a lot of people are criticizing him — I think his heart is in the right place, I just think he was going about it in the wrong way, If he really wants to make change, sitting his butt down [during the anthem], that’s not going to change, that’s going to get people very upset and he has to understand that. If you think sitting during the national anthem, a lot of people really served before his time, now, trying to give him the freedoms and the liberties that he has … and I tell you this, I’m a black man. And Colin Kaepernick — he’s not black. He can not understand what I face and what other young black men and black people face, or people of color face, on a every single [day] basis. When you walk in a grocery store, and you might have $2,000 or $3,000 in your pocket and you go up in to a Foot Locker and they’re looking at you like you about to steal something. I don’t think he faces those types of things.” ~ Rodney Harrison

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Of course Black Twitter was fast and furious with a response

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Even coontestant #72 Sage Steele took umbrage with the level of coonery that he had on display. You know you ran afoul of the black sensibilities when a fellow coonite calls you out for cooning. #coononcooncrimeforthewin

Coontestant# 64 Charlemagne

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“Would be dope if a young black or Hispanic ‘WOKE’ woman used social media to create a Platform to be a voice like Tomi Lahren did.” ~ Charlamagne The God Gump

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As one would expect such an errant tweet directly into the belly of the beast created a firestorm of clap backs aimed straight for the jugular.

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As evidenced by how resonate the #blacklivesmatter hash tag has been since its inception black women have an extremely powerful presence on twitter and throughout the social media stratosphere. Perhaps if Charalamagne and his Breakfast Club Cohorts  coonhorts would extend invitations to more of these black female movers and shakers their intellectual properties could as well permeate the mainstream media and be monetized as is the case for his bff Tomi Lauren who herself is a halfwit. 

Coontestant# 63 DJ Envy

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As if Charlemagne’s fixation with the bigoted blonde bimbo was not bad enough, his partner in coon went even harder against the grain of black struggle in AmeriKKKa. After Donald Trump in the national debate the night before extolled the virtues and worth of the racist ‘Stop & Frisk’ policies practiced by NYPD DJ Envy co-signed him and its use.

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Did I mention that I love Black Twitter?

Coontestant#62 Stephen A Smith
stephen-a-smithStephen A Smith who cracked the top ten in years past was not even supposed to make the list this year because for the most part in 2016 he practiced reasonably responsible journalism. That was until he lost his mind over the fact that Colin Kapernick did not vote. Here’s a dude (Colin Kapernick) that donated over 1 million dollars in 2016 to causes that help uplift the poor black and brown and this coon is brow beating him because he did not vote for either of the two candidates that have more than proven to not have the best interest of the community in heart mind and agenda.
in his own words:

“As far as I’m concerned Colin Kaepernick is absolutely irrelevant, I don’t want to hear a damn word about anything that he has to say about our nation, the issues that we have, racial injustices, needing change, et cetera, et cetera…He comes across as a flaming hypocrite as far as I’m concerned. I’m not interested in a damn word that he has to say and quite frankly I hope he goes away, He’s lucky to be in the league right now…And Colin Kaepernick after all this noise that you’ve made, even though you didn’t intend to do so by offending our military service men and women. And pointing out about how you wanted to bring attention to racial injustices and beyond that’s in this country. To turn around and not to even take your behind to the polls to vote for a particular candidate–it is shameful. Absolutely shameful, Him of all people, because of the position he took, because of the attention he brought to the issues, the fact that he doesn’t have the decency to go to the polls and activate yourself in this election (as our president said) is a damn shame…I don’t want to hear another word from Colin Kaepernick. It’s a waste of time. [As] a matter of fact, I would personally make a request to the media in this nation: Wherever he is, if he ain’t on that football field trying to throw another damn incomplete pass, do me a favor and make sure of one thing, take the camera away from him. It means nothing. Because for him not to vote, as far as I’m concerned, everything he said meant absolutely nothing. Absolutely nothing. I don’t want to hear another damn word from him. Nothing.”  ~Stephen A Smith                                                                                                                                                                           .

Coontestant#61 Venus Williams
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After her sister Serena took to Facebok and penned a heartfelt missive about her concerns about the ongoing injustices  dealt to black people at the hands of police and municipal governments Venus was asked her thoughts. And lets just say her opine was not Black Twitter approved..
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Coontestants 60-58 Elijah Cummings, James Clyburn and John Lewis
These three “distinguished gentlemen” underscore the fecklessness and ineffectual direction that the Congressional Black Caucus has long been going in. Once billed as the conscience of the congress the CBC just like these three bozos are bought and paid entities of America’s corporate overlords. No longer are they in congress to serve the people. They are there to enrich themselves and hold on to their seats. It’s high time they all be replaced by some new blood.

 

Coontestant#57 Lil Bow Wow

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Read from the bottom up to get the full gist of his coonery

Coontestant#56 Dorsey Montgomery

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This natural born coon was unfortunately the only hope that black people and people of good conscious had to get any semblance of justice in the State of SC vs Michael Slager. Needless to say he was a failure. As the jury foreman his job was to corral the jury members and lean on the letter of the laws of the state to find justice. It has become crystal clear that he had neither the wherewithal nor intention of doing such a thing . The talk show circuit tour that he went on post trial was as confusing as it was bemusing.

Coontestant# 55 Young Thug

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After this roach impersonator arrived after the 45 minute cut off to board his flight he offered the two black female ticket agents 15k to accept being terminated as they broke protocol and allowed him on his flight. They rightly refused and he went on a tirade berating the young women calling them Africans, peasants and more. He did all of this while filming it for Instagram. 

Coontestant# 54 Kevin Gates
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On the heels of all the protests surrounding the murders of Alton Sterling and  Philando Castile, this is what Kevin Gates had to say:
“We kill each other. I’m talking about we lay up under each other’s cars, lay behind each other’s houses then whip by, boom boom, kill everybody in the car…but as soon as a white boy kills one of us, everybody go to hoopin’ and hollerin’ and all that old stupid-ass shit …That’s bullshit. When you stand for something, you’ve got t[o] stand for it all the way, not half way.” ~ Kevin Gates
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That was all of course before he was sentenced to six months for a brutal stage kick to the face and chest of one of his young and misguided female fans. Who just so happened to have been black.

Coontestant# 53 Trick Daddy

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Trick daddy set the internet ablaze with a viral video rant about how black women were losing their footing and needed to tighten their shit up less they be passed over for white and Latina women. And boy oh boy the clap back came fast and furious.

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Coontestant#52 Tommy Sotomeyer

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Tommy has been cooning for clicks for quite sometime  and has made honorable mention more than a couple of years. He’s a black man that has built his brand on berating black women on Youtube and other social media spaces.

Back in July he got into a fender bender with a black woman and after the sister questioned why he was recording her he says this:

“That’s the problem with Black women right there, they talk, “This is why nobody likes these Black whores. Look at her. Black whores. Black whores. Get out my face, though, bitch. I’ll whip yo muthafuckin ass…I don’t like Black bitches, anyway. Bye, broke bitch. My car cost more than your house, bitch. My car cost more than your house, bitch. You don’t know who you talking to. Watch when you find yourself online.”~ Tommy Sotomoyer

The video went viral as he intended but the blow back for his cooning for clicks shenanigans was too much for him to handle hence he used his platform for the first time to speak highly of black women where he pulled the “I never had a father” card. Of course we all know that the apology was bullshit but that is a testament to how much of a bully pulpit the Twitter verse can be when properly leveraged. Another win for Black Twitter but I will say this. It really is time to start giving eye jammies to these brothers out here that think it prudent to be so overtly disrespectful to black women as he and a number of the coons that made this list have been.

 

Coontestant# 51 Rza

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The Rza who we now know is anything but a genius had this to say regarding the on going problem of police killing unarmed black people:

 “If I’m a cop and every time I see a young black youth, whether I watch them on TV, movies, or just see them hanging out, and they’re not looking properly dressed, properly refined, you know, carrying himself, conducting himself proper hours of the day — things that a man does, you’re going to have a certain fear and stereotype of them…I tell my sons, I say, ‘if you’re going somewhere, you don’t have to wear a hoodie — we live in New York, so a hoodie and all that is all good. But sometimes, you know, button up your shirt. Clean up. Look like a young man. You’re not a little kid.” ~Rza
What makes his statement so eggregious is the fact that as one of the founding members of the Wu Tang Clan and the so-called genius of the group he made his living off of urban wears and urban vernacuilar. Now that he’s hanging out with Russell Crow and the Hollywood Click he wants to go all rescpctable Negroe on us.
Coontestant#50 Wendy Williams

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Jesse Williams after winning the Humanitarian Award from BET gave a moving and memorable speech about social justice amd social activism. His speech and sentiments trended for miles. Wendy Williams who has absolutely zero depth of thought and even less consciousness had these jewels to share regarding Jesse Williams and his speech trending:

“His speech was very poignant, on one hand. On the other hand, you know, I would be really offended if there was a school that was known as a historically White college. We have historically Black colleges. What if it was the National Organization for White People only? There’s the NAACP.”~ Wendy Williams

 After a noticeably silent gasp of her normally gregarious audience she goes:
“Look everybody’s quiet. You’re leaving me out here to dry by myself?”
 Now a normal dummy, even with coon tendencies would take that silent queue as a hint that they should probably quit while they are ahead and switch up the conversation. But not Wendy Williams. She’s a special kind of stupid. She goes on to say:
“National speeches like this always rub people the wrong way. Just like White people will be offended because Spelman College is a historically Black college for women. You might feel funny about that. I know I’d feel funny like I just told you. If there was a White college or whatever.”

Twitter eat her ass up so bad that that Chevrolet who previously helped underwrite her show dropped her.

 

5 Reasons why we should bury the term GOAT along with the GOAT (Muhammad Ali)

As we say  goodbye to the greatest for good we should also say goodbye for good to the term GOAT (save for conversations about Ali). Muhammad Ali embodied the term and it’s less than respectful to his legacy to bestow such a hollowed moniker on any other athlete or entertainer–especially those who have done little outside of their master craft to measure up to what the champ did outside of his day job. So in honor of the GOAT’s passing here are five (of many) reasons why no one should ever be refereed to as the greatest of all time ever again…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

1. He created the term

I shook up the world

On February 25, 1964 after the artist formally known as Cassius Clay stopped the heavily favored Sonny Liston in seven rounds he took to ring center and proclaimed that he was the greatest and that he shook up the world. Little did anyone know that this young brash 22 year old was not just smack talking and would go on to embody both the term “I Am the greatest” and the act of shaking up a world in need of shaking. Ali through the years had trials and tribulations that put to test his greatness and at every turn he would remind friend and foe alike that he was indeed the greatest of all time. You will be hard pressed to find an utterance of that  verbatim prior to Ali saying so. Therefore he’s the standard bearer of what the GOAT should look, sound and act like.

2. His convictions were not compromised by public opinion, monetary gain or even peer pressure from his contemporaries

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Muhammad Ali’s refusal to be drafted into the Army during the Vietnam war and the revocation of his title for it is well chronicled. One of the more poignant photos from that period of his life is the one where he is surrounded by some of his contemporary greats including Bill Russell, Jim Brown and Lew Alcinder. The misconception is that they were there to support Ali and his defiant stance against the war. The truth is they were actually there to do the opposite. The private meeting was to convince him to enlist and to assure him that he would not be going to war but instead would serve as an ambassador to it and a morale booster to the troops in much the same way that Joe Louis was used during World War II.  Ali who was far less educated than all of the men in attendance  (in a formal sense) had a rebuttal for each and every point they brought up. He went on an almost two hour filibuster going into great detail why he would not be supporting the Vietnam war or enlisting.  He won over the well meaning yet naive greats and forced them to reexamine their tacit support of the war. So much so that Lew Alcindor followed the path of Cassius Clay and retired his slave name a couple years later.

3. Ali Spoke truth to power instead of seceding to the powers that be.

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There has never been an athlete before or since Muhammad Ali that has had the courage to speak truth to power. He did not shrink, bow or take a back seat to white supremacy. He confronted the white supremacist construct with as much confidence and zeal as he confronted his opponents in the ring. His defiant stance in media gave a nation (within a larger more hostile nation) of millions courage and pride. It inspired protest and affirmed the fact that we as a people are great. He was not worried about endorsement dollars. In fact he knew that it would be more lucrative for him to go along to get along just as pretty much every athlete today does but he remained steadfast and fearless.

4. He was not trans-racial and did not transcend race. He was unapologetically Black.

 

Jackie Robinson, Joe Louis,  and Jesse Owens were phenomenal athletes that paved the way for Muhammad and others to thrive in the sports arena. By extension they paved the way for black people to more equitably integrate in to all levels of sports, entertainment, business and academia because they humanized blacks in the minds of millions of white Americans that saw (and treated us) as less than. Jackie, Joe, and Jesse were not a black mans black man though. At least not publicly. They were the white mans black men and while I completely understand the precarious line that they had to walk they lacked the intestinal fortitude of Muhammad Ali who made the conscious decision to be the black mans black man. Before him on the national sports scene there was none and sadly no such an athlete has come after him. Muhammad Ali’s embrace of his blackness was so real and so authentic that white people loved and respected him for it (the ones that did not hate him for it).

Michael Jordan  is widely considered the GOAT in basketballcentric conversations. However he was as bad off the court about being a strong black man that took strong black stances as he was good at dominating the league over the span of his playing career. Michael Jordan was arguably a greater basketball player on the court than Ali was a boxer in the ring but his sheer cowardice as it pertained being a black mans black man exempts him from legitimately  holding the GOAT title. Micheal Jordan was famously asked in 1990 to endorse a black man running for the US Senate by the name of Harvey Gantt. Gantt at the time was trying to unseat one of the most rabidly racist and regressive US Senators since reconstruction by the name of Jesse Helms (NC). Michael Jordan’s response to the endorsement request was “Republicans buy sneakers too”.  MJ was the closest athlete to reaching the world wide recognition as Ali. Black America could have really used from MJ in the 80’s and 90’s the kind of unapologetic blackness that Ali gave to black America during his prime. He chose to do the opposite therefore he’s much closer to being a goat than the GOAT.

 

5. He is the father of rap music and by extension the hip-hop culture

 

DJ Kool Herc is the father of hip-hop. Muhammad  Ali however is the father of rap. The only thing missing from the punch lines, similes and analogies inherent in his prophetic and poetic proclamations were bars and hooks.  The precocious and braggadocios rhymes  that Ali spit was primordial hip-hop. In fact it was hip-hop (LL Cool Jay) that actually coined the acronym GOAT. And while LL is not the GOAT he is Ali. Jay Z is Ali, Ice Cube is Ali. Scar Face is Ali.Biggie was Ali, Tupac was Ali. Fuck being like Mike, Be like Ali. The one and ONLY GOAT.

 

 

Hip Hop is not dead but it does have Cancer: top 5 carcinogens in Hip Hop

“When you die, it does not mean that you lose to cancer. You beat cancer by how you live, why you live, and in the manner in which you live.” ~ Stuart Scott

I was born in May of 1973 in Brooklyn New York at Down State Hospital. A couple months later and roughly 20 miles away at a Bronx Community center basement party, Hip Hop was born.

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I say all of that to say that Hip Hop is literally and figuratively the sound track of my life. Due to it’s story telling nature and keen ability to capture the times it could easily be  construed as the back drop of not just my life but the lives of most inner city and suburbanites from generation X to generation to generation Z and beyond. There is a shared sense of ownership and loyalty to hip hop and the culture that it has spawned by generations of black and white. So it is with great sadness that I report that the cultural construct that has enveloped my existence is cancer stricken. The good news is that the immortal words of Stuart Scott, one of the great ambassadors of the culture is spot on when he surmised that death from cancer does not equate to a loss to cancer. And that in order to avoid taking an L to the big C the collective has to come to grips with the fact that the culture is ailing. The culture itself  has to reexamine how we are living, why we are living and the manner in which we are living. In other words it’s time to re-calibrate, and in order to do that we need to peer deeper into the asbestos like elements that are giving rise to the malignant tumor growing in hip hop. Due to the genres  ubiquitous reach to say that black culture is synonymous with hip hop culture is to speak the unvarnished truth. So the malady that besets hip hop is indeed one that besets much of black America.  There are myriad carcinogens that actively contribute to the malaise that is hip hop. The following 5 are in my humble opine the biggest contributors to the demise of the culture and if we can remedy them at least in part it will go along way into seeing this culture survive.

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Carcinogen #1: The Gangster Rap subgenre 

Street life and the inner workings of the hood has always been a major component of hip-hop. In fact the very definition of hip-hop could be summed up and defined as being a mirror to what’s going on in the streets of America’s ghettos and urban dwellings.  For this reason there has always been a rebellious– anti-establishment edge to the the culture. It was and still is the single most expressive outlet for the most marginalized demographic in America– Black youth. It was and still is this particular demographics only outlet available to express the collective joys, pains, poverty and frustrations with life that both bonds the community as well as what tears it asunder. Before  a category such  as “gangster rap” was invented there were rappers that spoke about their dalliances with street life while painting vivid pictures with their words of what life was like for them in their particular projects, borough, county, state or municipal dwelling. They were relate-able stories that had wide spread resonance from state to state and hood to hood.  They (nor their audience)however did not get hung up on the violent elements and negative optics, nor did they stake their claim to fame on being drug king pins, mass murderers and  outright menaces to society. They were nuanced in their subject matter and story telling. The gangster rap sub-category was coined by outsiders that were hostile to hip hop culture from the beginning. They had a flawed understanding and tainted interpretation of the almost esoteric form of urban mass communication known as rap music.  To the outsiders Grand Master Flash and the Furious Five’s ‘The Message‘ was just as gangster rappish as Easy E and NWA’s ‘Straight out of Compton‘.  It was all “gangster rap” to them, and since those outsiders had the ability to make labels stick,  those labels stuck and  served as self fulfilling prophecies. This point was ironically made clearer by none other than the former Grand Dragon of the Ku Klux Klan David Duke most recently when he said:

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“Take a look at Gangster Rap…Take a look at constant media, chronic media. Talking about Gangster Rap elevating and making exciting Black criminality, thuggery, promoting drugs, promoting all sorts of sexual abuse, abuse of women. The videos for Black rappers and so forth show women at their feet, sucking their toes or God-knows what else. Just being practically slaves to Black males. You take a look at it, the media in this country—and it’s for white people too, European-Americans are affected by it too, but Black people have been really affected by it. This Black, so-called Gangster Rap and this other disgusting and degrading degenerate music which is the most popular music among the Black people and a good sector of the white people—just look at the Nicki Minaj. I don’t even want you to look at it it’s so horrible. You will never hear more of the ‘n-word,’ more words about ass—God knows I’m not gonna say all the things they say. Every kind of filthy word. Every kind of filthy, violent drug-promoting material. It’s just absolutely sickening. It’s the most amazing thing you ever heard. And the guy that produces all that, one of the Jewish producers, in fact, the entire music industry is absolutely controlled by the Zionists, the Jewish extremists, the same ones in the media that support Israel and basically pervert our country and the interest of America for that of Israel…One of the Jewish producers was boasting about the fact that every one of the Top 10 Billboard songs were those he controlled. So, I tell ya, even Rap music is not something that Blacks really were responsible for. It was the Jewish record producers who promoted this degenerate and sick music.” ~ David Duke

While Duke indeed makes some valid observations  in his long winded missive, the single stroke brush is emblematic of how the art of hip hop was perceived by the masses (outside of the hood) from inception so he as well underscores how the outsiders contributed to the problem. But since we know the guy to be an avowed white supremacist it’s fairly easy to parse this particular musing to extract the relevant facts to corroborate just how bad the creation of the “gangster rap” sub category  has been for hip hop, black music and the black community as whole.

Hip hops addiction to the crack game is perhaps one of it’s most  self perpetuated  self defeating attributes.The “trap music” trend started in the late 80’s and reached a crescendo in the 1990’s. Today sadly it’s almost a prerequisite for any young aspiring emcee to hear his music on the radio. And it’s not just the youngins that are beholden to the commercialized thug culture.  Former corrections officer Rick Ross is a 40  something year old rapper mimicking the style, likeness and subject matter of a 20 something year old rapper that died almost 20 years ago.  From Rick Ross co-opting the name of one of the most notorious exporters of cocaine in urban American history  to Bobby Schmurda playing the starring role in an episode of “when keeping it real goes wrong” the incestuous relationship that hip hop has with the crack cocaine trade  has been as regressive to the genre as it has been to the communities where it has served as a 30 year staple.

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2. Carinogen #2: Viacom

There was a time that MTV would not play rap videos. In fact MTV did not play any videos made by black artists. It took the king of pop to break the video music television color barrier before we were able to boast of seeing the likes of Fab Five Freedy and Yo MTV Raps.  At the time it was something to celebrate. Generations later hindsight suggests that we integrated the genre into a burning building. The advent of the gangster rap subgenre coincided with the introduction of rap music being brought to life in video form. Being able to see what was vastly becoming  the trend in hip hop (studio gang banging) in visual form made it that more attractive to the lay person and subsequently that much more potent a cancer. The optics had indelible affect on the ethos of the culture. Not only were we able to hear about the imaginary gangster chronicles of the young and misguided. We were able to watch it in motion picture form. It was reality television before reality TV. As a matter of fact you can probably credit the marriage between MTV and hip hop for birthing that garbage industry as well because if my memory serves me correct it was the Flava of Love show that made popular the kind of rampant disrespect and disregard for black women that seems to be the most common theme of all of these shows.

BET prior to being bought by Viacom was at least halfway decent. They had Video Soul, Teen Summit, The BET News, and the Tavis Smiley show–all of which gave the network, genre and black culture a positive if not fair and balanced presentation. Shortly before the merger all of those programs were canceled and in its place came more of the same that was offered on MTV with even less creativity, thoughtfulness or balance. BET Uncut was born into existence and it codified and cemented the already burgeoning sexist and misogynistic  trend within the music. And while it’s been almost a decade since BET Uncut was canceled, it has been replaced by a series of what seems like tri-annual award shows that serve only to further impugn black people and black culture.

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The BET and MTV hip hop awards are analogous to a minstrel award show. If there were an awards show for the performances given by Amos and Andy or Steppin Fetchin back in the day it would have no doubt looked a lot like the BET Awards. I’m actually surprised that they have not posthumously given  them lifetime achievement awards since cooning, shucking and jiving is what they all seem to strive for at these award shows anyway.

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Carcinogen#3:School budget cuts and forgoing music and arts education

When I was in school I was nothing close to being musically inclined. And I’m still not. That however did not stop the mandatory music classes that I had  to attend in elementary and junior high school from playing a role in how I appreciate music today. Being introduced to the tonal scale was much more than simply learning about “do-re-me”. It was about planting the seed of musical discernment in the young and  malleable  subconscious mind. One that could be relied upon from youth through adulthood to make and appreciate the music, art and culture of their time for posterity. The birth of hip hop unfortunately came during the same period that birthed the current anti-intellectual  bend that has engulfed much of America.

Ronald Reagan would be proud at what has become of his America
Ronald Reagan would be proud at what has become of his America

The Reagan years started a trend whereby austerity at the expense of posterity was the order of the day. They cut services and funding to the schools for extracurricular and even even primary curricula activity– Art and music education being the biggest casualties of this assault on public education. With all manner of artistic expression and discernment stripped from the preceding generations (post 80’s babies). The genre and more importantly the impressionable youth that serve as it’s target audience were primed for maximum exploitation by corporate owned radio. No longer did the rap audience and fan base decide what and who was hot. The corporate radio via the new 5-6 song rotation format dictated to the fan base what was good music and absent their own music sensibilities they are today rendered powerless when it comes to abating the harmful imagery inherent in the music or even when it comes to seeking out and finding alternative choices to mainstream and make hot. What was hot in the 80’s and much of the 90’s were well versed lyricists that were creative with their word play–even if what they said bordered the negative. Today what’s hot are ‘ring tone rappers’– emcees that I have no lyrical talent or skill. In most instances they don’t even have a command of the English language so they compensate by relying on a hot beat that has maximum resonance that they simply mumble on in between a catch phrase or cliche for a hook with a few inaudible southern drawls thrown in. Straight garbage!

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Carcinogen#4:The Telecom Act of 1996

The telecommunications act of 1996 signed into law by Bill Clinton was largely remembered for the sweeping changes that it brought to the telecommunications industry. The lesser known but more viscerally felt changes that came as a result of this bill were in the music, radio, television and print media.  The bill that the FCC boasted would create more competition did the exact opposite. At least as it pertained to radio. With the FCC removing the cap on spectrum ownership they all but eliminated competition and diversity. Before the 1996 Telecom Act a single corporation could own no more than 40 radio stations nation wide and no more than 4 in a given market. The idea was basic and sound economics–you know the anti-monopoly type. Once that new act was signed to law the cap on FCC spectrum for national ownership went from 40 stations nation wide to an unlimited amount of spectrum ownership nationwide. The cap for local market ownership also went up from 4 stations to 8. The actual results of this dynamic are even more astonishing:

  1.  Just over a week of that bill becoming law over 700 million dollars in buying and selling of stations ensued. There were station mergers left and right.
  2. In less than 5 years the the number of radio station owners dropped 25 percent (5100 owners of spectrum to 3800).
  3. By 2001 two companies, Clear Channel and Viacom (Parent company to Infinity Broadcasting) laid claim to 42 percent of the commercial radio listening audience and pocketed 45 percent of the profit from the industry.
  4. The biggest single owner of radio stations nationwide in 1996 was 39. By 2003 that number ballooned to over 1100.

The affects of these corporate takeovers reverberated throughout the industry because of how wide and deep their corporate tentacles reached. Clear Channel for instance is today the preeminent owner and controller of radio. Well they also own about 100 performance and amphitheaters. And even more clubs and arenas around the country. This means that they have unprecedented, unchecked and most importantly undue powers in the industry to make or break artists. They are controllers of the manifest destiny that is hip hop in ways that are dangerously untenable.

studio

Carcinogen #5 Studio Technology

 The fifth carcinogen is perhaps the hardest pill to swallow in so far as accepting that which is wrong with hip hop. Any lover of the culture or lover of music period whose ear buds date back to the days that vinyl was the standard could appreciate all of the advantages inherent in going from an analog world to a digital one.  Expedience with standing, this digital age has in addition to making the average emcee rather lazy brained due to people being much more enamored with a hot beat than lyrical skill,  has removed one of the primordial and quintessential components of hip hop from the equation–the DJ.

Im the rapper

I’m the Rapper he’s the DJ was not just a Will Smith album. It was the codec of the culture. The DJ was part and parcel (in a major way) to the foundation of hip hop. Were it not for the wide spread misogyny, rampant promotion of drug use and drug selling the most sacrilegious aspect of hip hop today would be the manner in which the DJ’s importance has been downsized and swept under to the side. Jam Master J, Africa Bambatta, Scott La Rock, DJ Premiere, Spindarella and the list goes on, were all pioneers in hip hop. None of them get the due that they deserve.

If you’ve ever been fortunate enough to attend a party with a Kid Kapri or Ron G on the ones and two’s than you know the importance of what a DJ is to the culture. You would also be able to better understand how and why DJ Cool Herc is universally seen and respected as the father of this great culture.

Perhaps if we bring the father back into the fold the family unit could begin to self repair.

Coolherc